After the game emperor awakens

Xie Chongjin's eyes were blank for a moment, and a heavy pain appeared.

Lu Xuechao knew that he had guessed right.

Xie Chongjin really thought so.Really, even the deaths of the first emperors were all blamed on himself.

……

It is said that it is the most ruthless emperor's family. To be an emperor must be stained with blood. The golden dragon chair is full of bones and corpses.

Xie Chongjin has never experienced such cruelty.

The first emperor only favored the empress, and he had only one son under his knees. Xie Chongjin had never experienced cruel seizures.His home is so warm and beautiful that it doesn't look like other royal families who are fighting each other, but like ordinary people enjoying themselves in harmony.

The late emperor and Prime Minister Lu were close friends. Lu Xuechao had met the late emperor when he was young, and in his impression he was a loving elder and a benevolent monarch.

Only by growing up in an environment full of happiness and love can one develop a reckless, frivolous, bright and flamboyant young mind like Xie Chongjin.

Born noble, talented and intelligent, Xie Chongjin is a well-deserved proud son of heaven.When he was the prince, he also did a few errands for training.Xie Chongjin has outstanding abilities, and with the help of Lu Xuechao, everything is done beautifully.The journey was smooth and smooth, and the greatest misfortune encountered was that at the age of 17, his father suddenly contracted a serious illness, and there was no cure for it. He died within three months, and his father was too sad, so he followed.

He completely lost his parents on his birthday.

In the game, this is just a light sentence at the beginning, "The first emperor died, and the crown prince Xie Chongjin succeeded".

And his father, who died in love, didn't even have a name in the game, so he was a completely worthless existence.

For Xie Chongjin, it was the greatest pain in the world.

When the late emperor was seriously ill, Xie Chongjin and Lu Xuechao were waiting in front of the hospital bed. The late emperor held the two hands together and said comfortingly: "Changli will have you from now on, and I will die in peace. Qingshu, you have to help Huaiyun well, Let him be a wise king. Huaiyun, you have to treat Qingshu well, if you dare to bully him, I will be the first one not to forgive you."

Then he closed his eyes and smiled at Jiuquan.

Lu Xuechao took a breath, then kowtowed in front of the bed with red eyes: "I obey."

Xie Chongjin didn't move at all, just stood there in a daze, looking at his father who was sleeping peacefully on the sickbed.

It is a national funeral for the emperor and empress to go.The death knell rang for three consecutive days, and everyone in the palace was weeping and crying, as if it would be disrespectful not to show a sad expression.

In the mourning hall, the young man was dressed in filial piety and knelt silently in front of the coffin, with the tragic cries of the palace officials and ministers lingering in his ears.He pursed his lips and did not cry, but felt that the endless crying was very noisy.

Lu Xuechao didn't cry either, but quietly accompanied Xie Chongjin to kneel in front of the coffin.They stayed together until late at night, the palace people dispersed, and the ministers who came to express their condolences also dispersed, leaving only the two of them in the mourning hall, Xie Chongjin still knelt and refused to get up.

"Go back to the palace and rest." Xie Chongjin still remembered that Lu Xuechao was weak and couldn't kneel for as long as him, and his voice was already hoarse when he spoke, "I will spend more time with my father and queen."

Lu Xuechao didn't get up: "I'll also spend more time with my father and queen."

After a pause, he said softly again: "I will accompany you too."

Xie Chongjin's eyes turned red in an instant, his shoulders trembled, and he tried his best to endure it for a long time, but still shed tears.

He cried fiercely, and the emotions he suppressed in front of people during the day were all vented in the middle of the night.

Xie Chongjin turned around and hugged Lu Xuechao tightly, with a helpless and aggrieved tone, choked up and said: "Qingshu, I don't have a father anymore."

Xie Chongjin always smiles in front of Lu Xuechao, like the bright sun colliding with the cold moon.The sun is always warming the moon and giving the moon a moonlight.

That was the first time Lu Xuechao saw Xie Chongjin crying, and seeing the sun would be shrouded in darkness.

At this time, he was not a young and promising prince, without so many dazzling halo titles, but just a heartbroken teenager who had lost his parents.

"I thought life was long... I will have a lot of time with them. On the birthday of my father at the beginning of the year, I even wished him a long life..." Xie Chongjin said hoarsely, "Is my wish too greedy? I know people It is impossible to live forever, but I thought at least I could live a hundred years, and they could accompany me for a long, long time, at least to spend my birthday with me..."

His tone was particularly aggrieved: "Today is my birthday..."

Lu Xuechao hugged him, and comforted him in a low voice: "Father, emperor, father and queen are deeply blessed, and the next life will be safe and smooth."

"If the fortune is deep, why can't this life be safe and smooth?" Xie Chongjin asked.

Everyone will leave him, no one will stay with him forever...

Lu Xuechao couldn't answer, so she just quietly let him hug her.

Xie Chongjin hadn't had any water or rice for a whole day. He was distraught and lost his strength.Lu Xuechao made him a bowl of longevity noodles, didn't say any birthday blessings, just let him know that someone will accompany him to celebrate his birthday.

Xie Chongjin looked at the steaming longevity noodles, but didn't use them immediately: "You haven't eaten today, let's eat together."

Lu Xuechao said: "This is your longevity noodles, which symbolize longevity. How can I eat it? I'll just make another bowl."

Xie Chongjin immediately pinched off his face when he heard the words, hiding his fear and said: "Your life is divided, what's the use of my long life, I just want you to be with me."

When Lu Xuechao was young, he was weak and sick. The imperial physician once said that Xu Huiji would be injured, and it is very likely that Young Master Lu will have a short life in this life.Xie Chongjin thought it was nonsense, but after that, he became more and more concerned about Lu Xuechao's body, even when Lu Xuechao coughed, he was extremely nervous.

He has always believed that Lu Xuechao can live a long and safe life.But he also believed that his father and empress could live a long and healthy life, yet his father and empress still left so suddenly.He was really afraid that everyone he loved would leave him one by one.

The world calls the emperor long live and the queen a thousand years old. If he doesn't want it, that's a full nine thousand years away.He wants to give Qingshu four thousand five hundred years old, so that they can die together.

Lu Xuechao comforted him: "I will be with you for a long time, and I will never leave you in this life. You will be born in the same quilt, and you will die in the same coffin."

Xie Chongjin still looked uneasy.

Lu Xuechao stretched out her little finger and hooked Xie Chongjin's finger: "Pull the hook like you did when you were a child, so you can rest assured?"

Xie Chongjin felt a bit of peace of mind when he looked at the entwined fingertips of the two.

……

Suddenly losing his loving parents, Xie Chongjin felt that the sky was falling.During the most difficult period, Lu Xuechao spent it with him, accompanied him to observe the filial piety and the mausoleum, and encouraged him to regain his strength.

No matter how glamorous and indestructible their appearance is, all their embarrassment, sadness, and fragility will be unreservedly displayed in front of each other.

Before, Xie Chongjin had never encountered adversity.

After that, Xie Chongjin has never been happy.

The first emperor managed Changli well, and what Xie Chongjin took over was a prosperous dynasty.He was born to be the proud son of heaven, and he also remembered his father's last wish, to be a generation of Mingjun, and to treat Qingshu well.

... But Changli was spoiled like this, and Qingshu also suffered so much.

What he wanted to do failed, and what he wanted to protect was killed by himself.

Not only did he fail to keep his father, emperor and queen, he even failed to keep Qing Shu from life to life.

After knowing that their world was just a game, Xie Chongjin had a guess.

His father was always in good health, why did he suddenly get sick, even the imperial physician couldn't find out the cause, so he was helpless, and finally died young?

Is it because...he is the protagonist of the game, so he must be enthroned?

His father is still alive, so of course he, the crown prince, cannot ascend the throne.

In order for him to ascend the throne in a logical manner, so that the players can start the game, so the father had to abdicate, and he had to die...

He is the cause of his father's death.

He was born a disaster.

-

Xie Chongjin's mental state is not right, this cannot be hidden from Lu Xuechao.

Lu Xuechao was rational to the extreme, and was still a bystander, and was tortured to the point of going crazy, unable to distinguish between reality and fiction, from the initial desire to survive to the desire to die.

Xie Chongjin was the one being manipulated with consciousness.

After wearing the mask for a long time, it will grow into a mask.

After being manipulated for a lifetime, Xie Chongjin would not be able to tell the difference. What is the difference between that manipulator and him?Aren't he the one who did all kinds of bad things, the one who was stupid, the one who ruined the country, and the one who killed Qingshu?

Why is he still alive?

Is it because he is dead that this manipulative world will end?All tragedies are never repeated?

The feeling of self-blame and self-loathing is getting heavier and heavier, to the point where it tends to be self-destructive.

Especially after learning that he is the protagonist of the game and that all the plots revolve around him, Xie Chongjin is not surprised. He only has a ridiculous feeling in his heart: it really is so.

Sure enough, he was the beginning of all misfortunes.

He was born wrong.Without him, these tragedies would not have happened.

Dark and negative emotions linger in Xie Chongjin's heart all the time, clamoring why he doesn't die, to atone for his sins, he has killed so many people, even his father, emperor and queen died because of him, and killed Qingshu so many times, how could he There is still a face alive.

Seeing Lu Xuechao, Xie Chongjin worked hard to ignite a belief in living again.

By desperately dealing with political affairs day and night, I will not have extra thoughts to give birth to those negative thoughts.

How could Lu Xuechao not know.

At night, Xie Chongjin couldn't even sleep in his dreams, frowning, and kept shouting "I'm sorry".

The one who reads most is his name, and he will also call father emperor and father queen.

Lu Xuechao had studied medicine, and in order to guide himself, he also learned about some mental illnesses.

Xie Chongjin is suffering from depression.

He massaged Xie Chongjin and adjusted the sedative medicine so that Xie Chongjin could sleep peacefully, but in the end he treated the symptoms but not the root cause.

Xie Chongjin was afraid that Lu Xue would be worried, so he pretended nothing happened in front of him, but when he saw him, he always had the same smile as before, but his eyes were dull.

Lu Xuechao pretended not to know.Xie Chongjin was so proud that he probably didn't want others to know that he was sick.The young man who was so radiant back then is about to go out now, wrapped in darkness and unable to extricate himself.

Right now he doesn't want to pretend anymore.When he was sad, Xie Chongjin would coax him, but who would he tell Xie Chongjin about his sadness?

His sun, even its own temperature is cold, and it will spare no effort to use up all the light and heat to warm him.

The moon has no light, and the moonlight has always been the sun's light.

The moon also wants to warm the sun.