ask willow

The sky was dim, and it was drizzling hazyly, and the clothes seemed to be wet.

There were very few pedestrians on the street, Wen Yan walked straight along the bluestone path, but he didn't know where he was going.

His consciousness clearly knew that this was a dream, but he couldn't wake up.

He went to one of the eaves to shelter from the rain, and the fine raindrops merged into water droplets and fell down the eaves of the dripping rain, dripping on the steps, splashing small splashes.He saw a thirteen or fourteen-year-old boy standing under the eaves, holding a half-eaten candied haws.

"Brother Wen."

Seeing him coming, the young man frowned and smiled innocently. There was a little baby fat on the cheeks that hadn't faded on the gentle outline, which made people want to pinch him.

like...

Wen Yan forgot for a moment that this was a dream, and raised his hand in a daze to caress his cheek.But just now, there was nothing left at his fingertips, and even the surrounding scene disappeared. He returned to the courtyard where he lived in Baicaozhuang, where the pear trees were blooming like snow. He sat on a stone bench, Looking up, I saw that young man walking slowly——

He is no longer the soft, child-like appearance. He has grown a lot taller, and the baby fat on his cheeks has also disappeared. His lips are slightly pursed, and his delicate jaw line is tight, and he still looks a little green. appearance.

"Master, don't worry, as we agreed at the beginning, the marriage contract is fake. I know this very well. I will never interfere with you, nor will I disturb anything about you."

The young man bit his lower lip, his clear eyes showed stubbornness, and he just looked at him without any hesitation.

He wants to say no, wants to say it's not your fault, it's me who shouldn't blame you.

However, the body is not under its own control.

Only then did he remember that this was a dream about the past, and he could only watch from the sidelines.

And he heard himself say, with a sort of sneer, "That would be really nice."

The young man frowned slightly, his lips were biting white, and his dark eyes looked at him for a moment, as if with a look of grievance, but he didn't open his mouth to argue.

like it.

Wen Yan wanted to stand up and walk to him to comfort him, but when he raised his hand, he shattered the nightmare.

Opening his eyes, he was still in the inn. Looking at the sky, he seemed to have just slept for half a day. Perhaps because of the dream, his body was rested, but his spirit was very tired.

He closed his eyes slightly, recalling the past so clearly for the first time.

In the past five years, in the first one or two years, he still had some obsessions, and he was also extremely indifferent to Liu Zhongyi.And then, three years, four years, five years... He gradually seemed to wake up from a dream, and recalled more details. Looking back, he suddenly felt that it was extremely absurd.

Between him and Liu Zhongqing, there was no mutual affection at all, but he was still young at the time and felt that as long as he had a marriage contract with that person and met day and night, he would eventually win his heart.

In fact, it is just a self-deceiving mirror, which will shatter at the slightest touch.

If he was asked to wait for a lover who fell in love, let alone five years, he could wait even ten years.But let him wait so wishfully and hopelessly for someone who doesn't love him, he is finally too tired and has no strength to persist.

When he finally admitted this fact, it was like waking up from a big dream, and he realized that everything in the dream was extremely illusory, and when he recalled the things he did, he felt extremely ridiculous.His obsession with Liu Zhongqing and his resentment towards Liu Zhongyi also seemed ridiculous for a while.

Those obsessions are blinding eyes, and those resentments just come from the person who almost broke the dream before he woke up. He was stubborn, evaded, unwilling to admit, and turned all these emotions into resentment, so that he could continue to dream for a long time.

Gradually, he was no longer attached, including love and hatred, but he was tired of all kinds of emotions. At that time, his father passed away, and he was in charge of everything in Baicaozhuang. things.

Regarding the past, he didn't want to think about it, as if he had forgotten it, his mood gradually became calmer, and his person became calmer than before. To put it nicely, his heart is like calm water, but he also understands that it is more like a pool of stagnant water.

It won't hurt if you don't feel emotional, and because he was so deeply obsessed, he seemed too tired to be emotional again.

He always thought that Liu Zhongyi, like him, would gradually forget, not to mention, he always felt that that person was still young, and he would naturally meet someone more suitable in the future, so why bother spending time with him, a person whose heart is like stagnant water.

But he didn't expect that Liu Zhongyi would sacrifice his life to save him in the stone room that day.

He still remembers that moment when the man slammed him against the wall, and his warm body pressed against each other. He clearly heard the sound of the hidden weapon piercing into the flesh, and felt his blood flow to his own. On the arm, it was so hot that it seemed to be on fire.

At that moment, there was a ripple in his heart, which was as quiet as stagnant water. It seemed that it was the first time he realized what it was like to be loved with his life.

It's just that the situation at that time didn't allow him to think so much. He brought Liu Zhongyi back to the shore after he escaped death, and found that he had stopped breathing. Although he was the fastest rescuer as a doctor, his heart was so tight that he was almost suffocated.

Liu Zhongyi almost lost his life because of him, which made him feel uneasy when he recalled all these years, and he felt worthless.If love can really choose according to reason, he wished that he had put all his heart on him from the beginning.

In this way, there will be no later...

In this way, he can always protect that person, and won't let him be so helpless all these years.

Unfortunately, all this will never happen again.

He thought about treating him better, at least, returning to the way he was when he was a child.

But after these few days, he found that this idea was impossible to realize.

When he focused on Liu Zhongyi, he realized more and more that he had really grown up, and was definitely no longer the gentle and soft boy in his memory.There will no longer be any natural and intimate behaviors, no occasional coquettishness to him, and no longer a smile without any grievances as long as she looks at him like before.

I don't know why, but the impression that was not very deep in my memory suddenly became extremely clear because of such a strong contrast, as if deliberately trying to make him feel guilty.

Now Liu Zhongyi is cold and silent, not as obedient and obedient as before, and often refute him mercilessly, but also very assertive, once a decision is made, even he can't change it.It was as if he had insisted on asking him to go after the members of the Yinshan School last night, while he returned to the Sword Asking Gate alone.

However, if you are more careful, you will also find that the person is often duplicity, unwilling to expose some of his soft thoughts, awkward and cute.

So, I started pampering unconsciously, and I didn't feel angry when I heard him say some indifferent words that didn't fit my heart, on the contrary, my mood improved inexplicably.

But this morning, when he heard him say so firmly that they are just allies now, he suddenly didn't believe his original judgment a little bit.

What can't be ignored is the inexplicable feeling that gushed out of my heart at that moment.

That feeling is very complicated, it seems to be disappointment, and it seems to be a little uncomfortable.

He felt tired after returning to his room, so he didn't want to think about it, but he didn't expect to dream about those things from the past. When he woke up from the dream, and when he thought about it again, he suddenly understood a little bit.

Those emotions were just because he thought that Liu Zhongyi still liked him, but he got a negative answer.

I still remember that he asked that person on the way to ask about Jianmen, do you still like him?At that time Liu Zhongyi also answered that he didn't like it, but he didn't feel anything.

So, does the current self treat Liu Zhongyi differently than it did back then?

She would expect him to still love her, unless... she had already fallen in love with him.

It's just that he can't believe that that person really still has such thoughts now, Liu Zhongyi always denies and refuses in various ways in front of him.

Thinking about it, Wen Yan couldn't help but smile wryly.

In terms of love, he always seems to be wrong.When she fell in love with Liu Zhongqing back then, she refused to give up even if she didn't get a response. Instead, she treated the person who really liked her coldly.When he finally stopped obsessing over the past and was finally able to fall in love with another person, he found that he had missed it for too long, and probably had exhausted the other person's feelings.

In fact, feelings cannot be said to be right or wrong, so it is probably only time that is wrong.

He can't be sure of Liu Zhongyi's thoughts now, because of that person's temperament, he can't ask directly, but since he knows his own heart, he should always treat him well in his own way, even if it is to repay what he owed in the past five years The same is true.

Even if there is no response, or it is impossible to wait for him to change his mind.

Anyway, not worth it.

Even he himself felt that he was not worthy of that person's liking, and that he should be with someone better.

There is no regret medicine in this world, and it is impossible to turn back time.

In fact, he was only moved, and it didn't hurt much to let go now, but he didn't want to go back to the past, he would rather indulge himself and sink so slowly.

Just treat it as retribution, Wen Yan had the idea of ​​giving up on himself for a while.

Even if you can't be with that person in the end, there is nothing to complain about.

It's just a bit of a pity that I couldn't finally realize the desire to be happy with each other that I had been obsessed with from the beginning.

At night, it began to drizzle again. Liu Zhongyi sat by the window and listened quietly. The little blue bird stood on his wrist, pecking at a few peanuts in his palm.

Because the color is too conspicuous, Xiaolan has been hidden for the past few days. When she was outside, she was put in a cage and covered with a cloth, and she was locked in Liu Zhongyi's room in the inn. Liu Zhongyi was finally free. The bored little guy kept leaning on him, looking very intimate.

When he heard the door knock, Liu Zhongyi put peanuts on the window lattice to distract Xiaolan's attention, and then went to open the door.

"what's up?"

Wen Yan said outside the door: "Come and eat."

These days, the two of them basically ate in Wen Yan's room. After all, Liu Zhongyi couldn't see it, and it would be inconvenient for the waiter to deliver the food to his room.

Liu Zhongyi agreed, then closed the door and followed him.

When eating, Wen Yan put some dishes into his bowl as usual, Liu Zhongyi habitually ate a little, then suddenly remembered something, and said, "I'll do it myself."

Wen Yan paused and looked up at him: "What's wrong?"

"I can do it myself." Liu Zhongyi said as he tentatively touched the plate on the table with his chopsticks, picked up a bean-like one, and put it in his bowl.

"Zhong Yi," Wen Yan stopped, "You caught the pepper."

Liu Zhongyi frowned, pursed his lips and remained silent.

"When your eyes are healed, naturally it won't be my turn to take care of you," Wen Yanfang said in a soft voice, "Don't be brave, be good." As he spoke, he took the bean out of Liu Zhongyi's bowl——

Of course it's beans and not some chili.

He didn't know why Liu Zhongyi suddenly began to refuse his care. Could it be that he was aware of something and resisted so much?

He didn't want that person to just push him away, so he lied casually to coax him.

Wen Yan calmly put the bean in his bowl, then picked some other side dishes for him, and changed the subject: "Shall we go to Yunchuan next?"

Liu Zhong wondered for a moment: "Ask about Jianmen, I don't know..."

"Don't worry about that," Wen Yan said, "If it's just those people from last night, with Senior Yuan around, there shouldn't be anything wrong. Moreover, I don't think the logo is embroidered on the leader's clothes, so it can be seen that he is the Mingsha Sect." The people here are not too high-status."

Liu Zhongyi nodded: "Then we will leave tomorrow."

Wen Yan paused for a moment before saying, "Have you ever thought about the identity of the original owner of that jade pendant?"

Liu Zhongyi couldn't help but look serious, frowned and said in a low voice: "The current Mingsha leader." Sighing slightly, he continued: "Of course it's just a guess, and I hope it's not."

"Ah."

Liu Zhongyi was silent for a while, and said: "I always feel very uneasy. If my brother is all right, it is impossible for my brother not to give me any news." This is the deepest worry in his heart for so long, and he has never told anyone. The fear once spoken becomes true.

Wen Yan comforted softly: "When you arrive in Yunchuan, there will naturally be a result. It is useless for you to worry all the time now."

"I know."

"So, take good care of your injuries first, don't think so much, and eat now."

"Ah."

Wen Yan watched him lower his head and continue to eat slowly, and gradually felt a gentleness in his heart, accompanied by a touch of distress.

In any case, at least for now, I am with him.