Beauty across the cloud

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"What's your plan next?"

Jin Lan sat on the sofa opposite Lao Zou and listened to what he said.

He looked at the neatly stacked fruit baskets on the coffee table, thought for a while, and then said, "I want to stay."

"Oh?" Hearing this answer, Old Zou seemed to be in high spirits. He refilled his tea and asked, "Why did you stay?"

This question was blunt, but for Lao Zou, this was already considered very kind.

Jin Lan's tone was steady, revealing a certainty in his words, he said: "My results and articles meet the requirements, I think... I can stay."

"Then what if I don't want you? I have limited places this year."

Jin Lan looked up at Old Zou.In the half a year since Jin Lan left school, his hair has turned gray a lot, but today he looks in good spirits, and he still speaks with energy.

He replied: "Then I can only go abroad."

This is the truth. During the time when Jin Lan was abroad, he met a professor who admired him very much. At that time, he discussed the future arrangement with Jin Lan and said that if Jin Lan is willing, his laboratory can accept him. Continue to read the Ph.D. If Jin Lan wants to go to other places, he is willing to help recommend it.

Hearing this "backup option", Lao Zou frowned: "Then why don't you just go abroad? With an overseas background, you can find a teaching job when you come back."

"I'm not used to it, so I don't want to go." Jin Lan said honestly.

He was born in the south, where the south is humid.He missed the air at home at school, but after staying in the north for so many years, he didn't want to change places and continue to miss the wind and sand at school.

However, from a purely utilitarian point of view, staying with Lao Zou is not the best choice.Two months ago, old Zou Gang had a small stroke. After being sent to the hospital for observation and treatment in time, he was fine, except that he was sometimes slow to respond and had a bad memory.There are rumors in the courtyard that Lao Zou is about to retire, so even if he is still teaching students now, he may have more energy than he wants in the future.And because he has never been tactful in life and has a very bad temper, he has offended countless colleagues and superiors around him for decades. Even if he was able to gain a foothold in the academy with solid personal achievements when he was there, I am afraid that more than one person will leave the tea when he retires. .His students are naturally difficult to be taken seriously.

The world is as thin as autumn clouds, but that's all.The school is not an ivory tower.

The cigarette ash fell on his lap, and Lao Zou stretched out his hand to shake it off, but found that his hand was shaking slightly.

Before he finished his recuperation, he didn't want to see these students who came to visit.I have been stubborn all my life, and I am always unwilling to show weakness in front of others.

He just heard that Jin Lan was here today, so Lao Zou couldn't care less about it and was eager to chat with him.After all, his other students are very assertive, and they have already found a place for themselves, so he doesn't need to worry about anything, but Jin Lan has always had an attitude of letting others rub him down, which always makes him worry.

Old Zou coughed lightly to cover up his trembling hands: "Well, I'll help you contact your tutor and recommend you to go to another school."

Jin Lan didn't speak, her face was still so calm, her eyes moved down to the texture of the floor, her emotions were gathered into her eyes, as if she would never be understood by others.

Old Zou picked up his teacup and took another sip. He was very patient this time, waiting patiently for Jin Lan to figure it out.Aging is an avalanche, and there is no turning back. Lao Zou sat on the sofa and unconsciously warmed his hands with a teacup. In fact, the room is well heated, but once a person gets old, the body can no longer hold the heat .

A person's life is like a one-way trip, and in the end, he will always go to a remote place where the sun cannot shine and the spring breeze cannot reach. It snows here day and night, seeping into the skin texture and bone crevices.

Jin Lan said, "I stay in school."

He spoke very calmly, as soon as the words fell to the ground, they were placed neatly in front of the other party like a stone, and they could not be changed.

Old Zou leaned back dejectedly, combing his white hair in vain with his deformed joints.

"Teacher, what do you think?" Jin Lan said.

Old Zou was too lazy to lose his temper, and glared at him, "What else can I think? If you want to stay, can I not accept you?!"

It was only four o'clock in the afternoon when I came out of Lao Zou's house. The north wind was still cold but the sun was already fading.Standing under a thin sun, Jin Lan squinted her eyes and looked at the layers of clouds in the sky, the people flowing on the earth, and all the things that are about to be replaced and reborn in the next reincarnation. Her heart was unprecedentedly peaceful. The rest of his life was thus planned, and he was satisfied.

He doesn't ask for much, he can see the bright sun in the daytime and the pure moon in the evening, the spring flowers in the morning and the autumn rain in the evening, he is very satisfied with life.

After the first doctoral examination, the graduates basically ushered in the season of leaving school.But those who have internships or jobs don't go back to school very often, unless they go back and forth a few times for graduation defense.

Yan Xueyu has a criminal record of leaving without telling, so Jin Lan specially greeted him in advance: If you want to leave this time, you must tell him in advance that he has no other friends, so he must go see him off.

Yan Xueyu naturally agreed.

On the day when the results of the doctoral entrance examination came out, Jin Lan was eating in the cafeteria when she suddenly received a call from Yan Xueyu.

He first asked how his grades were, then smiled on the phone and said that he was about to leave for today's plane.

"Why didn't you tell me in advance?" Jin Lan's first reaction was a little angry, "Afternoon? Why are you in such a hurry?"

"The plan can't keep up with the changes, and, am I telling you?"

"when's the flight?"

"Are you coming to see me off?"

"Of course."

"Fifteen past one."

Jin Lan looked at the time, and it was less than half an hour before [-]:[-].It's definitely not going to catch up.There was no need to even get angry, he sighed in frustration, "Your scarf is still with me!"

He has been thinking about returning the scarf that Yan Xueyu left on him, but it is strange, it seems that either he is not at school for so long, or Yan Xueyu has gone out for an internship.Even when both of them were in school, they were both in a hurry and couldn't find the right time.

Maybe it's because I always think that there is a chance to meet next time.

Even this time, Yan Xueyu still said: "It's okay, I'll see you later."

"Okay, I have to get on the plane," he said, before hanging up hastily.

He was standing on the opposite side of a road, and he happened to be able to see Jin Lan through a glass wall.Because Jin Lan always eats in a fixed area.When he saw Jin Lan put down his cell phone, he looked a bit annoyed, but it was useless to be annoyed, he still had to pick up his chopsticks and continue eating in the end.

Yan Xueyu was relieved, he pulled up the suitcase and walked towards the school gate.Now that it's the official graduation season, people are running around with boxes all day long.

Yan Xueyu and Jin Lan had attended classes together when they first met. At that time, the school's educational administration system was particularly perverted, arranging a compulsory course in the evening.It's already cold in winter, and it's really annoying to stay up until nine o'clock at night.At that time, the sound they both loved most was a waltz, which was the bell for the end of get out of class at that time.

Once class was over, Jin Lan walked out of the teaching building, turned around and told him in surprise that it was snowing.Yan Xueyu just nodded.He was used to seeing snow, so he thought it was nothing special.Before returning to the dormitory, the two went around to the back door of the school to eat supper, but they met a fortune-telling old man under a street lamp.The dim light reflected the snow clearly, and Jin Lan couldn't bear it, so he gave the man 50 yuan, telling him to go home quickly tonight.

The uncle said that Jin Lan had a good heart and insisted on showing him his face.Jin Lan suddenly became serious and his eyes widened.As a result, the uncle looked at it for a while, and only said, young man, you are destined to be married late.

Then what about me, Yan Xueyu said from the side.

The uncle looked at Yan Xueyu and said, you got married later than him!

After the two had supper, on the way back to the dormitory, Jin Lan was still thinking about the meaning of that sentence.He asked Yan Xueyu, "If I was married late, what does it mean that you married later than me?"

His expression was so serious that Yan Xueyu was amused.He said why are you so stupid, that means I can't get married, but he put it a little bit more tactfully.

It was the beginning of summer, and the heat was just beginning to appear. How could he suddenly think of that winter night with heavy snow and whiteness?He was pulling the suitcase and walking on the road. The pulleys of the suitcase made a crackling and not crisp sound after friction, and left an inconspicuous mark on the ground.He looked down and saw the faint white marks on the gravel road, and thought of the two of them walking together under the street lamp that night, leaving two strings of footprints in the snow, which were neither close nor far apart.At that time, the snow was falling, and when Jin Lan raised her head, the tip of her nose and cheeks were red from the cold, and her eyes remained. The black ones were mountains, and the white ones were water.He smiled, and the mountains and rivers were hidden inside.

Later, when the spring was warm and the flowers bloomed, the footprints melted with the snow, and no one knew that they had walked side by side for a while.

Jin Lan continued to stay under Lao Zou to study for a Ph. D. Besides, she also had to help the courtyard with some administrative work, such as working as a teaching assistant.I didn't get much money, but I did a lot of work.Looking around, among all the young doctoral students, he was the only one who was exhausted from being too busy every day, and he was so happy that he couldn't wait to be more busy. work with him.

So everyone said that Jin Lan was too motivated.So they all persuaded him, the days are still long, you are like clockwork from the beginning, and you will get tired easily later on, don't you see that some students are full of energy and strength when they first enter school, thinking that the future road is under their feet, After a long time, my laziness suddenly became disheartened, and I was unable to produce results for a long time, and finally failed to graduate.How terrible it is to waste time and not get a degree!

However, he was still exhausted, and he never tired of it.

So after another half a year, people gradually changed the saying: only one dollar was spent in half, and I have never seen him tossing his life as two people.

Just after the meeting, before he had time to chat, he went to another building to play PPT for the lower grade students.

That's right, just run.

Jin Lan did this for a reason.Luo Weiqiu came to look for him a few times later, with such a tall figure and such handsome features, for some reason, he refused to give up and had to wait at the door of the classroom for him to finish class.However, Jin Lan always walks in a hurry and always looks indifferent.He just said: Sorry, I have another meeting later, let's talk about it later.

So he has to get busy, he thinks that if he is more busy and walks faster, even if he meets Luo Weiqiu at school and catches a glimpse of Luo Weiqiu out of the corner of his eye, he won't have time to stop and take a closer look, and he won't have time to listen to him elaborate.

He couldn't give himself any chance to be moved.

However, this idea has been in my heart for a long time, and I don't know why it was retribution.

In another winter season, a major incident occurred in the school: some students used illegal electrical appliances in the dormitory, which caused a fire.The weather was dry, and there were inflammable materials everywhere in the dormitory. For a while, the fire burst out of the balcony, black smoke shot up into the pale sky, and the flames swayed, and the whole dormitory became a sea of ​​flames.

At that time, Jin Lan was printing the minutes of the meeting downstairs, and saw the crowd gathered in a distance, with noise, crying, and siren sounding in chaos.He couldn't hold back and walked over, standing on the periphery to take another look.For some reason, there was a gap in the crowd wrapped in layers, and at that moment, he saw the boy with a dark face who was being carried into the ambulance. His body shape somewhat resembled Luo Weiqiu.

With just one glance, before he could step forward to recognize it clearly, the ambulance roared away.

impossible?he thinks.He looked around and found the charred balcony.It's not Luo Weiqiu's dormitory.But what if he happened to go to this building today?

--impossible?

As soon as Jin Lan thought of this thought, he couldn't hold it back. He became flustered. He tried his best to recall what the boy looked like in the glance he saw, but his mind became a mess, and some of the resemblance turned into a mess. very similar.After all the people dispersed, he was still standing where he was, and he didn't even think of grabbing a student to ask him.

Jin Lan's breath trembled.He took out his mobile phone, leaned against a wall, and breathed in intermittently.He thought he had to calm down, it wasn't such a coincidence.But when he thought that the person lying in the ambulance might be Luo Weiqiu, he felt that he couldn't breathe at all.He was too scared.

Outgoing calls, no one answered the first one.Dial again, still no answer.

Jin Lan closed her eyes resignedly, put her phone back in her pocket, and planned to go to the hospital right away.

No matter how anxious you are, you can't fly to the hospital.He called a taxi, and while he was in the car, he dialed the number over and over again.

Luo Weiqiu actually didn't know what happened.

He was taking a shower at the time, and when he came out, he found that his phone was still ringing. When he saw that it was Jin Lan on the caller ID, his heart also jumped.What will happen to him looking for himself?He answered the call with a bit of hesitation, a bit of excitement, and a bit of surprise, but the person on the other end of the phone seemed to be more nervous than him, and it took a long time to confide a few words.

Jin Lan said, "Is it Luo Weiqiu?"

Luo Weiqiu said, "It's me, senior."

Jin Lan said, "You didn't answer the phone just now."

Luo Weiqiu said, "I'm taking a shower."

There was a second of silence on the other side, and then the phone was hung up.

Luo Weiqiu stood beside the bed, staring blankly for a while.He didn't even have time to wipe his hair, and the water dripped down.

First doubt, then anger.

Today he finally realized that if the relationship and distance between two people is a rope, then Jin Lan is the only one who controls this rope.From beginning to end, he has almost no choice.Jin Lan came whenever he wanted to, and left when he said he wanted to. If he didn't want to talk to him, he just ignored him perfunctorily. If he called him for no reason, he could hang up unceremoniously.

Perhaps to Jin Lan, he is just a joke.

This discovery made him angry, and this anger made him feel free to call back the phone.

Without waiting too long, Jin Lan picked it up.

Luo Weiqiu laughed back angrily, but he couldn't laugh as soon as he opened his mouth. All he had left was sadness, like ashes after a flame had burned out: "Senior, what's wrong with you? Is it just so fun to play tricks on me! You Why do you treat me like this? What did I do wrong to bear this!——Why did you come to provoke me, why did you ignore me after you provoked me!"

Jin Lan hadn't even got out of the car, and his disturbed breathing due to nervousness and worry hadn't calmed down yet, and he was stunned by the continuous questioning.

Luo Weiqiu's words were like electric currents rushing back and forth in his brain, and where they went, not a single blade of grass grew.

Why did you provoke Luo Weiqiu?It's not that he has never blamed himself, he blamed himself and felt ashamed every second of his spare time, his dream was full of Luo Weiqiu's confused face full of pain - didn't he suffer?

Jin Lan closed his eyes hopelessly.The traffic outside the car window didn't stop, and there was silence in my ears, only the sound of car horns that rose and fell from time to time.

He said: "If you were me, what would you do...? Luo Weiqiu, if you have the ability, you can answer this question! If the person you like may suffer because of your relationship in the future, how would you choose! What do you say? Ah! Don’t you want him to be happy from now on and live a life ten thousand times better than going the other way! You say you like me, if you foresee that I will be hurt, what will you choose!”

Luo Weiqiu seemed to be taken aback for a moment, but did not answer immediately.

And these few seconds of silence made Jin Lan feel happy.That's right, this is a difficult problem that no one can solve perfectly. What can he do?Luo Weiqiu can't blame him, he really has nothing to do.

However, Luo Weiqiu quickly said: "...I will save you."

"what?"

"I said I will save you," Luo Weiqiu said, "I will save you, no matter what happens to you, no matter where I am, no matter what the price may be, I will definitely save you. I will definitely cure you, and I will never leave you."

At that moment, time seemed to stand still.All thoughts and feelings are condensed in this second.Nothing in the world matters anymore.Taxi pulled up, as if because there was a red light ahead; a woman on a scooter crosses the road with a child who appears to be holding a lollipop; will it cool down tomorrow; meeting just printed Where is the summary; will spring come again... Jin Lan is about to be overwhelmed by thoughts, and the only thing he can hold on to, so that he can float on the sea without suffocation, is that sentence : I will never leave you.

This sentence made him sink into the ocean, and he broke out of the ocean to escape.However, Luo Weiqiu's next question drove him into the bottom of the sea again.

He asked, "Do you want to come and save me?"

When a person asks a question, he naturally expects an answer.Luo Weiqiu's words were thrown out, but no one answered for a long time, so it condensed into icy rain in mid-air.

The only thing transmitted through the handset of the mobile phone was the trembling breathing of that person.

"So that's it, I understand." Finally, Luo Weiqiu said: "Jin Lan, I never want to see you again."

It rained all on his heart.

The mobile phone dropped at his feet, Jin Lan covered his face with one hand, tears wet his fingers.He seemed to have just found a great love.

But in a blink of an eye it was lost again.

Luo Weiqiu kept his word, until the day he graduated, he never took the initiative to look for Jin Lan again.But the campus is so small, they would meet occasionally in the cafeteria and library, and Luo Weiqiu didn't show any expression.After all, this endless relationship left some traces on him, and there was no longer so much hostility between his brows—it was an irresolvable indifference, like a layer of fog that could not be dispersed for years, Caged on him.

On the day of graduation, their courtyard held a farewell party for the graduates. In fact, Luo Weiqiu didn't want to go, he only showed up at the end: mainly to take the free bus to the airport.

When he was picking up his luggage and getting on the bus, a figure flickered out of the corner of his eye, it seemed to be Jin Lan, but it didn't seem to be.Luo Weiqiu glanced at the juniors and juniors who were holding the sign "Alma mater is your forever home" under the car, but still didn't see anything.Someone behind was eager to get into the car, so he pushed him, and he looked away and got into the car.

The bus passed through a thick shade of trees.There were cicadas singing outside the car, and the light and darkness inside the car fluctuated.The car passed a speed bumper, the whole body jerked, and the people in the car also swayed, this sway made Luo Weiqiu sober, he thought, is this graduation?Haven't thought it through yet, haven't put it down yet, haven't gotten results yet, haven't prepared yet, so is this graduation?

At first he looked at the scenery outside the car window, but the journey to the airport was long, so he couldn't resist leaning back in the chair and fell asleep for a while.After waking up, I looked up and found that the sky had darkened and the moon was west.Strange, how can it get dark so quickly in summer?Never noticed before.

It's almost time to stop.I don't know who took the lead in singing "Farewell".A pot of turbid wine fills up the rest of the joy, don't dream about the cold tonight.Luo Weiqiu listened to a few words, then closed his eyes again.

No matter how far the road is, there is an end.This year's graduates were sent away, and another summer was spent in the world.

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"World love is as thin as autumn clouds" is derived from Zhu Dunru's "Xijiang Moon" "world affairs are as short as spring dreams, and human feelings are as thin as autumn clouds".