Beauty across the cloud

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Until the two entered the door, Luo Weiqiu did not notice any difference between Jin Lan.It's nothing more than talking less, but he has always talked very little.Just as the door was closed, Jin Lan's arms stretched out from behind and hugged him tightly.

Luo Weiqiu heard him say: "Come and do it?"

Luo Weiqiu didn't react for a while, but he was very happy when Jin Lan took the initiative to hug him.Turning around and circling Jin Lan tightly, he put his head on Jin Lan's shoulder, kissed his face, feeling the warmth of his skin and the rise and fall of his breath.

(Omitted)

"I'm so happy, senior, are you comfortable today? Have I made progress?" His eyes sparkled.

Jin Lan stared at him blankly, suddenly felt that the child was a little silly.How could it be uncomfortable? He likes him so much.

However, he answered irrelevantly: "Are you smoking? I have seen your cigarette case. Don't smoke in the future."

Luo Weiqiu didn't expect him to mention this suddenly, wondering if he smelled of cigarettes: "...Okay, I won't smoke from now on."

"Good boy." Jin Lan raised his body, and their foreheads touched each other.Jin Lan wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say, and suddenly thought of the two words that Luo Weiqiu said by chance, baby.

Baby, baby, he whispered softly in Luo Weiqiu's ear.Luo Weiqiu kissed him again, and he said, "This is the first time someone calls me that."

He may have accounted for Luo Weiqiu's first time too much.It's not that he has any concept of chastity, but when he thinks that he will leave all kinds of indelible marks on his life, Jin Lan panics for a moment.

Afterwards, the two of them went to the bathroom to clean up, but couldn't hold back and started arguing again. Half a day slipped by like this, and finally ordered takeaway, ate something and fell asleep hugging each other.

Jin Lan woke up after sleeping for a few hours. He got out of bed, put on his clothes, went to the bathroom and washed his face. When he looked up, there was a pale and feeble person in the mirror.He shook his hand, and the water droplets splashed onto the sink, leaving a small stain.Jin Lan wiped the water stains dry with paper towels, and then threw the used paper towels into the trash can together with the half pack of cigarettes in his pocket.He asked Luo Weiqiu to quit smoking, so he had to be with him.

Back in the room, he began to pack his luggage lightly.

After everything was ready, Jin Lan sat by the window.There are a few lonely white stars on the night outside the window, about to fall, like a piece of gorgeous black silk that has been ruthlessly pricked with a few needles, with tiny lights leaking out of the small holes.

I don't know how long it took Luo Weiqiu to wake up in his sleep. He raised his eyes and saw that Jin Lan was facing him in front of him. With her slender body, jade-like neck, black and soft hair tips, in such a quiet room, everything It was very similar to the day when he fell asleep looking at Jin Lan's back.It's just that this time he woke up looking at the figure from behind.

"...Senior?" He suddenly felt bad, rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Are you awake?" Jin Lan turned around. He stood up, picked up the coat that was lying on the side, and put it on without haste.His expression was very calm, no one would notice anything unusual, but Luo Weiqiu became panicked at this moment.

"Don't talk yet," Jin Lan said in a flat, even cold tone, "I have to go. After playing for a few days, you have to take care of yourself."

"I……"

"I know what you want to say," Jin Lan rarely interrupted him, "but let's stop here."

"...Why did you leave...?" Luo Weiqiu had an intuition that this time was different from the previous few times, and this time he might really not be able to keep Jin Lan.But he still tried to impress Jin Lan and make him change his mind: "Senior, I like you, don't you like me? Don't leave, okay?"

Jin Lan said, "Do you like me?"

Luo Weiqiu nodded.

"Are you sure?"

Luo Weiqiu nodded slightly, but did not respond.Jin Lan's usual calm tone seemed a little scary at this time, like an invitation without good intentions.

Jin Lan wanted to say something, but he didn't say it, he paused for a moment, his eyes deviated to other places, but then fell on Luo Weiqiu again.

His tone was extremely stiff, as if he was reciting a script that had been written long ago.That was the line written in his heart: "...It's like this. You have a good family background and a good person. In the eyes of the public, you really have a lot, but that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. That time your mother came in to see When it comes to me, I can see her shock and disappointment, but she is educated and doesn't interfere with your business, and sure enough, she didn't say much. I guess other people around you will be the same, they are polite I'm a good person, I won't say much, let you take your temper. But in the future? You will always meet some people who don't understand or accommodate you. At that time, Luo Weiqiu, you can really bear other people's eyes Is it? In addition to that silent staring, there are even people who say things you don't like to hear. They may not be malicious, and there may be a trace of sympathy, but they are more curious. Are these really okay? Is it really okay? ?”

"I know you're going to think, I'm taking it, so you're fine. But we're different. I'm gay by nature. I don't have a choice. You're different. You're a monk. You could have it. A smoother life, I can even predict your happy and happy future. If you wake up in the middle of the night one day, will you regret for a moment that you gave up your smooth life and embarked on a more difficult road? ?——I should be like this, you are actively choosing, what we two have to face, what we have to give up, and what we have to pay are actually different. I am really not a good person. If I am a good person, I shouldn’t Drag you into the water."

He laughed self-deprecatingly: "But it seems that it is nothing now. In fact, these words are my greatest selfishness. I don't want you to look back on the present and think that I seduced you, and then blame me. You Look at me, I’m really bad. At this point, I’m just afraid of being blamed by you in the future. So don’t think that I’m doing it for your own good—it’s really not, I’m doing it for myself from the beginning to the end. I don't want to be a sinner."

"I can see that you are very afraid that others will leave without saying a word. So I want to say all these words in front of you-this should not be regarded as being silent, right? But Luo Weiqiu, you have to be strong Wake up, not every parting in this world has a voice."

Luo Weiqiu stared blankly at the person in front of him, his words were cold and his expression was strange.He thought inappropriately: In the past, Jin Lan just didn't talk, but when he wanted to talk, he could talk a lot.So how long has he been brewing these words?

Jin Lan didn't pay him any extra attention. After saying this, he turned around to pick up his luggage, and was about to walk out of the room.

Luo Weiqiu spoke behind him: "Senior, do you know why I got into a car accident?"

Jin Lan stopped in front of the door.Luo Weiqiu slowly approached him.

"That day, when I went out, I saw a rabbit in the middle of the road. I wondered if it was the one you were raising. I...didn't notice the red light at the time."

"It's my fault that I didn't tell you," Jin Lan said, "That one is already dead, and I buried it with my own hands."

"I'm really sorry for you, from beginning to end. You see, it's not difficult at all to give up a bad person to choose a better future, right?"

Jin Lan left by himself.

After Luo Weiqiu realized it, he remembered that it was not easy to take a taxi nearby, so he should be sent to the airport at least, but at that time he was no longer in the house.Jin Lan stood on the broad road, with the brilliant sunlight pouring down from the sky, he had nowhere to hide, like a fugitive exposed to everyone's sight.

After arriving at the airport, there was still time before boarding the plane, so he simply took out his mobile phone and slowly replied to the messages that he hadn't had time to reply in the past few days.Some from schoolmates, some from Xiaoyan, and some from Qin Suian.Among them, Qin Suian was the most gossip, asking him if he had an affair with the handsome guy.After thinking about it for a while, Jin Lan briefly explained the whole story, and at the end he did not forget to emphasize that he was planning to go back to school now.

Jin Lan found that her psychology of choosing to confide in her is also very subtle. First of all, she is open-minded enough, and secondly, she is safe enough-they have different majors and schools, and they have no mutual friends. Except for the news of blessings, there will be no more contact.

Qin Suian's news came back quickly, and she called out: Jin Lan, you are too scumbag, you lied to someone's feelings, and even played with his body, that innocent virgin is really pitiful.

When Jin Lan thought about it, she seemed to have a little bit of that meaning, even her mouth was too merciless.After thinking about it, he laughed.

After a while, she replied again: Don't be sad, I think you both lack a sense of security, in fact, it is not suitable, forget it, if you are scum, you will be scum, if you break it, just break it, it's okay, I will give it to you later Introduce one, isn't it a man?

Then Jin Lan couldn't laugh anymore, even she could read between the lines, was he so sad?The eyes were extremely dry and sore, but not a single tear could fall.Jin Lan knew it was because he didn't have the right to cry, and he didn't have the right to relieve pain with tears.How helpless is the child abandoned by him at the moment, how dare he secretly take a breath by himself?

But the heart was so painful that it was about to melt, and the breath he exhaled turned into a bloody mist.Jin Lan slowly raised her face, put the back of her hand on her forehead, and stared blankly at the top of the waiting hall.The white bricks are closely arranged, and the cracks between the bricks are squeezed to form black lines, which are then woven into a terrifying black net.The net tightened in the depths of the pupils, strangling a heart full of bloodstains.

Love is a chronic disease that human beings cannot conquer.When you are happy for love, you have already entered the incubation period, and at the moment of the onset, the pain penetrates into the bone marrow.Pain for love, Jin Lan is not the first, not the last, nor the most serious one.His love is not great, his pain is not novel, he can't even cry.Since human beings have a sense of pain, there are countless suffering people in this world, and Jin Lan is just the most inconspicuous one among them.Passengers preparing to board the plane came and went around him, and no one gave him a second glance.

Qin Suian's news came again: Don't keep silent, brother, are you angry?Sigh, I didn't mean to call you a scum...

Jin Lan replied the message with a few words: I know, I'm not angry.

Qin Suian replied: That's fine, I'll find one for you later.

Jin Lan said helplessly: Stop joking.

A gentle female voice sounded on the airport radio.

It was time to board the plane, so he turned off his phone.

In fact, Jin Lan thinks it's okay.He really doesn't need a new love.

That's right, the words hovering in his mind were no longer "forget it", but "it doesn't matter".He remembered that they kissed that dim afternoon, it didn't matter, it didn't matter, as long as he remembered the touch of that kiss, everything was fine.It's okay to be hurt, and it's okay to lose.Because of that kiss, he once owned the whole world.

And the days before this kiss have become wasted, no need to miss it anymore, the future after this kiss has become a bubble, no need to look forward to it any more.

Jin Lan narrowed his eyes and looked out the porthole of the plane.The wings of the plane broke through the clouds and came to the sky, and the densely arranged clouds underneath were like empty bubbles, shining in all directions, emitting a kind of slightly cold blue, full of purity and beauty.

At this moment, Jin Lan suspects that the Creator has ulterior motives.

Why are there so many pure and beautiful things in the world, and so many pure and beautiful people, each one of them makes him hateful.

If he hadn't met a clean soul, he might not have discovered his hypocrisy in this life.But it's okay, Luo Weiqiu should just be distracted for a while, he should be able to wake up and cheer up soon.

And have a great future.

Luo Weiqiu watched the plane take off and land from a distance in the parking lot outside the airport.

There were several flights back to school today, and he didn't know when Jin Lan left.In the setting sun, under the afterglow, the last plane took off, like a thin feather, which quickly melted into the bloody sunset.

He just went home.

Open the door, take off your shoes, go upstairs, and open the door again. The room is very warm.He lay on the bed full of doubts and confusion, and the bed accepted him and embraced him.He took all the strength out of his body and closed his eyes.

The surrounding is very quiet, Luo Weiqiu has lived here for many years, he has never heard the click of the old clock on the wall so clearly.

Click, click, like a worm eating him from the inside out.It doesn't hurt, I just feel that my body has become lighter, and I feel in a trance, as if I lost the real weight of being alive in an instant.

How did things become like this?Of course he couldn't figure it out.He thought carefully, pondered slowly, and paid close attention to every bit of the relationship between the two, trying to find a clue from it, like searching for evidence at a murder scene, not letting go of an inch.

In the end, he had to admit, it was a perfect crime that took place in a back room.

Perhaps it is wrong to try to clarify emotional cues.Some things follow the cause and effect of fate, not the logic of the world.

In the past few days when the two lived together, Jin Lan had been sleeping on one side of the pillow very regularly, while Luo Weiqiu was on the other side.

At this moment Luo Weiqiu was lying on Jin Lan's side, the smell of Jin Lan remaining on the pillow lingered all over her body.And so he fell asleep.Not heartbroken, not tearful, not even hard, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

At night, he was awakened by the dream again, looking around, suddenly found that there was a coolness within reach.No one would call him baby anymore, because the only person who would have done so was gone, and he finally understood the fact.This discovery made him at this moment the loneliest man of the night.

It turned out that this was lovelorn.

It was still dark, and the wilderness was lonely.He turned his searching eyes to his surroundings, but no one could comfort him, the starry sky and the earth remained silent.He sat on the bed for a long time until dawn came.