The whole e-sports circle is waiting for me to drop the horse

Ji Shiyan was stunned.

The brain exploded with a bang, and the word "Yanyan" came out of Lu Chaokong's mouth like an arrow piercing through the air, piercing the high wall he had built for self-protection and escape in an instant, the wall that separated him. The dividing line between past life and present life.

The memories sealed in the previous life spewed out. Every time Chi Mian gently called him "Yanyan" while doing something coercive to him under the possessive desire, the fear and pain brought about would drown him like a deep sea, his whole body Gu Ping floated rootlessly in it, almost being overwhelmed.

Ji Shiyan slowly opened his arms, his facial expression was uncontrollably stiff, and his face was stiff: "Lu Chaokong, what did you call me just now?"

And Lu Chaokong also seemed to realize something, pursed his lips, quietly looked at Ji Shiyan, and said nothing.

The air fell into a deathly silence, and Ji Shiyan was still in a trance. Under the magnification of alcohol, everything in front of him became more and more unreal.

"Lu Chaokong, you've always...you've always regarded me as Ji Shiyan, haven't you?"

Lu Chaokong didn't know how to answer.

There was a burst of remorse in his heart, he felt a little dizzy just now, and the movements of Ji Shiyan in his arms were exactly the same as when he was a child. For a moment, he forgot that Ji Shiyan had reincarnated as Shi Yan, and subconsciously called out the name that he missed.

Originally, Lu Chaokong planned to take Ji Shiyan to the orphanage, let the latter know that he was the one who had been with him for 12 years, and then tell him.

However, at this moment, Lu Chaokong really had an urge to tell Ji Shiyan that he knew he had been reborn, but seeing the panic and panic in his eyes after hearing the word "Yanyan", Lu Chaokong still forced it. suppressed his words.

That's it.

Not bad for two days.

Wait for Ji Shiyan to trust himself completely and stop panicking about being recognized by him, then tell him.

The two looked at each other silently for a long time, Lu Chaokong reached out to hug the boy, and said in a low tone, "I was wrong...I'm sorry, Yanyan."

The three words "I was wrong" seemed to hit Ji Shiyan's heart hard with a fist, and his face suddenly turned pale.

If Lu Chaokong's answer was that he recognized his true identity, Ji Shiyan would only complain why he didn't tell him earlier, and then couldn't help crying while hugging him.

But Lu Chaokong didn't say that.

He just apologized.

He also changed his name to himself.

Ji Shiyan couldn't help thinking of Chi Mian saying that Lu Chaokong used himself as a substitute, but he didn't take it to heart at all at that time, because he knew that Lu Chaokong was not that kind of person.

Besides, Ji Shiyan felt that it was not unacceptable for him to act as a substitute for himself.

But even though Lu Chaokong knew it was Shiyan, he still called out Ji Shiyan's name to himself after he was drunk.

Lu Chaokong really just... regards himself as a phantom of "Ji Shiyan" in his memory. His pampering and pampering himself in this life is really only because the soul of this body is his reincarnation, and the soul in his heart "Ji Shiyan" is very similar, so I am honored to receive this honor.

Ji Shiyan only felt that his heart was soaked in a piece of ice, and it was so cold that it hurt a little.

In his previous life, when love was still a blank sheet of paper, the first and only love he encountered was Chi Mian's paranoid and deformed love for him. Since then, he has instinctively panicked and avoided the word "love" .

This is also the reason why Ji Shiyan relied on and wanted to get close to Lu Chaokong no matter how much he relied on in this life, but he couldn't say "I love you" to him no matter what.

Ji Shiyan himself didn't realize that he was no longer willing to accept and believe in love. During this period of time, Lu Chaokong's gentleness and kindness towards him had been influencing him. Ji Shiyan also slowly began to accept love, but... The little trust he had just established in love was still too fragile, and Lu Chaokong's unconscious word "Yanyan" after drunk was enough to destroy everything.

He couldn't control his mind and began to replay the gentle "Yanyan" that Chi Mian said when he was about to rape him before he died. It was like a nightmare, like an invisible curse. Don't let go of his love.

Ji Shiyan pushed away Lu Chaokong's embrace, his body trembling slightly, and he stared closely at Lu Chaokong with panicked eyes.

He couldn't control the anger and the urge to cry in his heart, and leaned his back against the sink, but this moment gave him the illusion that he was leaning on the door handle.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Lu Chaokong wanted to come and hug him, but the light fragrance that made Ji Shiyan feel at ease in the past was covered by the smell of alcohol, and the tall and thin figure enveloped him. This scene was too familiar, and the scenes before his death and this moment overlapped back and forth in front of his eyes , making Ji Shiyan a little confused whether this is the past life or the present life.

Seeing that Lu Chaokong was about to hug him, Ji Shiyan pushed him away again, grabbed the cup on the sink and threw it on Lu Chaokong: "Lu Chaokong, you...you are too much. Don't touch me...you hate me to death .”

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Ji Shiyan regretted it.

He saw Lu Chaokong standing there in a daze, a hint of bewilderment appeared in the latter's usually indifferent eyes, his thin lips trembled, but he didn't say anything.

"I...I'm not..."

Ji Shiyan didn't dare to look at Lu Chaokong's expression anymore, pushed open the door and rushed out, entered the bedroom and wrapped himself in the quilt.

The surroundings were plunged into darkness, but Ji Shiyan didn't want to come out of this confined space. The pictures of his previous life and Lu Chaokong's expression just now played back repeatedly in front of his eyes. He shrank into a ball and hugged himself tightly. Already soaked in tears.

Ji Shiyan sobbed softly. He knew that he must have hurt Lu Chaokong again, but he couldn't help but think that he was just a stand-in for Lu Chaokong.

He could tell Lu Chaokong that he was Ji Shiyan, but he couldn't accept that Lu Chaokong knew that he was Shiyan, and still regarded himself as "Ji Shiyan" in his heart.

Is it really so insignificant?

Losing the skin of "Ji Shiyan", I can't even compare to a person who exists in my memory.

I don't know how long it took, Ji Shiyan was tired from crying, and fell asleep under the influence of alcohol. When he opened his eyes again, it was already eleven o'clock the next day.

His eyes were swollen and uncomfortable, and his throat was extremely dry. Ji Shiyan sat up slowly, and it took him a long time to fully wake up.

He suddenly discovered that Lu Chaokong didn't come back all night yesterday.

Ji Shiyan was startled, and got off the bed with bare feet. The living room outside the bedroom was also empty, but the luggage of the two of them had been packed, and his coat was neatly placed on the back of the chair.

He didn't change or put on his shoes, he opened the door and ran out.

Tang Ping told everyone to gather downstairs at twelve o'clock. Everyone should be asleep and won't get up until the last second. Only Liquor is cooking porridge for everyone in the kitchen.

Hearing the movement, Liquor turned around and was taken aback, "Yanyan, why aren't you wearing shoes?"

"what."

Ji Shiyan didn't pay attention, but asked directly: "Brother Shen, have you seen the captain?"

Liquor was surprised: "No, didn't he sleep with you? Did he go out after getting up in the morning?"

"do not know."

Ji Shiyan pursed his lower lip, he didn't dare to tell Liquor that Lu Chaokong was not there last night.

Ji Shiyan's voice lowered a bit: "Then I'll go up first."

"Ah."

Liquor gave him an extra look, but didn't ask anything, and said, "Come down for some porridge later."

Ji Shiyan nodded and walked up slowly.

He went back to the bed and lay down for a while, stood up, and silently packed the changed pajamas and the remaining toiletries into the box.

When they went down to the first floor, Jian Beihan and Jiang Xingtu had already woken up and were sitting at the table having breakfast.

Liquor brought out a bowl of porridge for Ji Shiyan: "Where's Lu Chaokong?"

Ji Shiyan shook his head.

"what?"

Liquor froze for a moment: "Are you still not back?"

Ji Shiyan tugged at the hem of his clothes: "Yes."

Liquor asked, "You didn't message him to ask?"

Ji Shiyan didn't speak.

Liquor suddenly understood what was happening, and smiled: "Are you having a conflict with the captain?"

Ji Shiyan whispered: "Yes."

"Harmful."

Jian Beihan said: "It's normal for young couples to have conflicts. It's okay, just go back to sleep... It's not that sleep, I mean, maybe I've been too tired recently, and there's jet lag, just go back to China and rest. "

Ji Shiyan said "hmm" again.

indeed.

He thought, it might be because he was too tired recently, and he drank some wine last night, and he started to lose his temper for no reason.

Apologize to Lu Chaokong when you get home.

Thinking of this, Ji Shiyan felt better.

It was almost twelve o'clock when Lu Chaokong came back. The few people who were chatting paused and looked at the same thing.

Liquor stood up: "Did you eat? Do you feel sick to your stomach? Have some porridge?"

"Ah."

Lu Chaokong said, "Thank you."

He went to the bathroom to wash his hands, returned to the restaurant, and naturally sat down beside Ji Shiyan.

Jian Beihan gave Ji Shiyan a wink, look, the young couple didn't have an overnight feud.

During the meal, Lu Chaokong's face was always indifferent, but as usual, when someone spoke to him, he would respond lightly.

After the meal, he went up to get the suitcases for the two of them and came down, and he was by Ji Shiyan's side when he took the car and the plane.

It seems that the state of the whole person is indeed the same as usual. On the plane, he will also help Ji Shiyan communicate with the foreign flight attendants, ask him for a blanket, and then cover him gently.

Both Liquor and Jian Beihan thought that the two had reconciled, but only Ji Shiyan knew that Lu Chaokong was still not relieved.

Because he really didn't dare to touch himself.

There was nothing to say all the way, back to the base, the two walked upstairs together.

As soon as he arrived at the door, Ji Shiyan said, "Lu Chaokong, I'll go back to my room and sleep."

He was afraid that if he went to Lu Chaokong's room, Lu Chaokong would not sleep.

I didn't sleep that night in the United States, and I slept uncomfortable on the plane. If I don't sleep after jet lag, my iron body will collapse.

Ji Shiyan just wanted Lu Chaokong to have a good night's sleep, talk to him after waking up, and then apologize, but when these words fell into Lu Chaokong's ears, the meaning changed.

His fingertips tightened when he was pulling the suitcase, his knuckles were faintly white, but his tone was flat: "Yes."

Seeing that Lu Chaokong opened the door, Ji Shiyan suddenly said, "That..."

Lu Chaokong paused: "Speak, Yanyan."

Ji Shiyan pursed her lips, but still said in a low voice, "That's right, are you still going to your orphanage..."

Lu Chaokong was stunned for a moment.

He thought that after Ji Shiyan rejected him, he didn't want to touch anything related to him anymore, and he was ready for the memories that belonged to the two of them, but he didn't expect Ji Shiyan to bring it up on his own initiative.

"Look at you."

Lu Chaokong looked sideways and said quietly: "We can go if you want."

Ji Shiyan still didn't hesitate this time: "Yes."

"it is good."

Lu Chaokong smiled: "Then I'll tell the dean, we'll go tomorrow."

Seeing Lu Chaokong smile, Ji Shiyan finally felt less depressed, and tugged on the latter's sleeve: "Good night, Lu Chaokong."

Lu Chaokong said "hmm" and said, "Good night."

With this thing in mind, Ji Shiyan couldn't sleep well. Although he woke up early the next day, he was still dizzy.

Unexpectedly, Lu Chaokong also got up very early and had already made breakfast for him.

It seemed that everything was back to the way it was before, except that the only difference was that the two didn't come out of the same house upstairs at the same time.

Lu Chaokong sat opposite Ji Shiyan, finished breakfast with him, and asked Ji Shiyan to wait for him at the gate of the base.

It was just the two of them, Lu Chaokong didn't drive the Cayenne, but changed back to the supercar that he saw Lu Chaokong for the first time in this century.

Ji Shiyan suddenly remembered that when he hailed a taxi to chase after Lu Chaokong's car, the taxi driver told him that the men who drove this kind of supercar were more ruthless than the other.

——Who would have thought that Lu Chaokong would be in love so long? Ji Shiyan really felt a little incredible that a person could be in love to such an extent.

"I asked Tang Ping for leave."

Lu Chaokong said: "But we should be able to come back before they wake up."

He turned his face and smiled: "If you are sleepy, sleep in the car for a while."

Ji Shiyan pursed her lips and responded.

The air was a little quiet. The two of them were not talkative characters, and they returned to a normal way of getting along, without talking for a long time.

So drowsiness gradually hit, Ji Shiyan leaned his head on the back of the chair, and slowly closed his eyes.

The car was driving very steadily, and the familiar light fragrance came from the tip of his nose at some point. Ji Shiyan slept very peacefully this time, and when he opened his eyes, he found that the car had stopped.

The window of the driver's cab was opened a crack, and Lu Chaokong's coat was on his body. In a daze, Ji Shiyan had the illusion that he was brought back to the KPG base by Lu Chaokong for the first time when he was just reborn.

A note was pasted in front of him, in Lu Chaokong's forceful handwriting: [I'm going to find the dean first, you can wait here for me or just take a look. --land]

Ji Shiyan rubbed his eyes, and then remembered that he had already arrived in the orphanage where Lu Chaokong grew up.

He looked out the window and was startled suddenly.

——This is also the place where I grew up in my previous life.

At that moment, a ridiculous but very close to the real idea appeared in Ji Shiyan's mind. He put down Lu Chaokong's coat, opened the door and rushed out.

Everything is extremely familiar, even if he changes countless bodies, he will never forget the ten years he spent here.

Following his memory, Ji Shiyan ran to the dormitory where he had always lived.

But he didn't go in, but something vaguely guided him along a small path behind the dormitory building, and walked slowly to the end.

Ji Shiyan's footsteps stopped suddenly.

In the nearby bushes, a very decayed wooden cross was erected, covered with creepers and vine-like plants, the shape of the cross could not be seen clearly.

There was a slight pain in the brain, and all of Hou Ji Shiyan's memories came back in an instant.

It used to be here. When he was a child, he was bullied and would secretly hide behind the cross and cry.

The teachers couldn't find him, and the urchins of the same age didn't want to look for him. Only his elder brother would come here, talk to him through the cross, coax him out, and then carry him home.

Later, his elder brother would fight those people for him, and no one dared to bully him again, but this place was also regarded as a secret base for him and his elder brother, and when he couldn't sleep at night, Ji Shiyan would pester him to take him out, Chatting under the scattered moonlight, listening to him describe the stars in the night to himself.

Suddenly came to my mind, the memory of backing the lamp and the moon on Huayin, but it has been ten years of traces and ten years of heart. *

Ji Shiyan remembered again that after Lu Chaokong debuted in his previous life, Chi Mian put on a bracelet and was shocked by him. It was not for any other reason, but Chi Mian was using the pain to make him instinctively avoid and forget this memory.

That's why when I saw Lu Chaokong and the vine cross pattern on the necklace between Lu Chaokong's fingers, I felt pain from the depths of my brain, and I couldn't touch the truth in the mist.

Ji Shiyan stood there quietly, although he still couldn't believe it, all the signs pointed to that absurd idea.

The person who accompanied me through the difficult and happy times in the past

——It was actually Lu Chaokong.

The author has something to say:

* Nalan Rongruo's words: Backing the lamp and the moon is the shade of the flowers, it has been ten years of traces and ten years of heart.