heart flower deer hit

After everyone left that night, Leng Feng cleaned the studio until midnight, and Lan Xueqing stayed to help him. Seeing such a mess, Lan Xueqing was also a little sorry, but Leng Feng did not utter his usual cynicism, but indifferently and Some self-deprecatingly said: "This place has been empty for a long time, and today is the first time this fake studio has opened to make things."

Lan Xueqing didn't smile, she said seriously: "Ah Feng, don't care what other people say, some things belong to you only, just care about your own feelings, what others say is not important."

When Leng Feng heard this, the self-deprecating expression on his face became stronger, and he said: "What if what others say is what I think in my heart?"

Lan Xueqing was stunned, Leng Feng stopped what he was doing, and said: "What the critic said was heartless, desireless, incapable of empathy, and expressionless. These twelve words are also my evaluation of myself. I have done it. Those so-called works are worthless and nothing.”

Lan Xueqing wanted to say no, your work was once loved by so many people in and out of the industry, and it was valuable to be collected by so many art museums, but she herself just said that, a creator only cares about his own Feeling, it is obvious that Leng Feng is not satisfied with himself, and all satisfaction from the outside world does not count.

Leng Feng was so frank that he was almost naked: "You want to say the support from the outside world, yes, it is indeed very supportive, those art brokers, curators, gallery owners, auction house owners, the best resources in the domestic circle, almost all They have praised my field, but I know very well that they are not promoting me, but my father."

"Your father, the dean of the Academy of Fine Arts."

"Yes." Leng Feng nodded, and when he mentioned his father, there was no emotion on his face: "My grandfather was the first batch of sculpture masters in the art world after the founding of the People's Republic of China. My father inherited his behest and became the dean of the Academy of Fine Arts all the way. Chairman of the Artists Association, what kind of title do you have? In this circle, you can do everything you want. Although this description is ridiculous, it is not an exaggeration. As his son or his direct disciple, what do I want? Do you have any resources? In his own words, I support you, and you are nothing without me."

I don't know why, this night Leng Feng suddenly talked about this topic so bluntly and sharply, even Jiang Yuan hadn't talked about it before, Leng Feng's eyes fell on the workbench where the tools were placed, and the cover there was bulging. Little piece, there's that clumsy, ugly squirrel down there.

Leng Feng knew that he liked that squirrel, it was ugly but beautiful.

He can casually carve a squirrel that is infinitely finer and more vivid than that one, but it is not that kind of squirrel, that kind of squirrel that you can't forget once you see it.

So his mood became a little indulgent and decadent, and he unscrupulously opened up the past.

"You've been away from home for so long, hasn't your father looked for you?" Lan Xueqing asked.

Leng Feng shook his head: "I have blocked all his contact methods, he is so arrogant, and he can't do such a thing as humbly asking others to contact me, so that's it, it's good."

Lan Xueqing sighed, but didn't know what to say, Leng Feng didn't need comfort, he needed to talk, and it was only at this moment.

"My father knew that what I made was low-quality, and I knew it myself, but I did it with the method he taught me. In private, he said very bluntly that I was like a craftsman, and I couldn't refute it. Because that’s what I am, a craftsman wearing an artist’s skin.”

"Don't say that about yourself." Lan Xueqing couldn't help but said that she had seen Leng Feng's previous works, although she hadn't seen the real ones, but she had seen many pictures in the exhibition, and felt that such works were much higher than "craftsman" .

"But he still gave me a lot of resources. As long as someone supports me in any circle, I can get ahead. This is even more so in this industry. Since my sophomore year, I have held personal exhibitions and been invited to participate in various exhibitions at home and abroad. Awards, like an idol in a talent show, shines as soon as it debuts, behind it is a pile of connections and money, false prosperity."

"But every time I stand under the flashing lights and face the smiling faces and invitations of various people, I always say in my heart that they all hope to have a good relationship with your father. Without your father, they would never recognize you. It lasted until two years ago, when it was stabbed by an article by a critic."

Lan Xueqing had never read that article. Leng Feng said: "He is an authoritative Chinese critic in the world. His name is Rong Yu. His qualifications are higher than my father's. Probably because of this, I was completely out of my father's relationship network, so I said it so sharply. In fact, a small person like me would not be noticed by him, but because of my father's relationship, people in China praised me. He said that I am the hope of domestic avant-garde art in recent years. With such a big name, Rong Yu naturally has to take a good look, and he can see the details at a glance, and see through the emperor's new clothes woven by my father himself."

"At the beginning, Rong Yu only said those twelve words. Naturally, people from my father's side in China stood up to refute, so Rong Yu put on a serious academic attitude and wrote a long review seriously. Fang Xiang criticizes why my works are not in the mainstream without dead ends. There are reasons and evidences. Although art is mostly based on aesthetic cognition and self-perception, there are no fixed rules. Xia Cheng, everyone knows that after that long review, those who helped refute it in the country also died down, and my father felt extremely humiliated, but he still couldn't do anything to that Rong Yu."

"So you chose to leave?"

Leng Feng nodded: "So what can I do if I don't leave? The emperor's new clothes have been torn clean, should I continue to lick my face and hang out in that industry? No matter how thick-skinned I am, no matter how much I like to fight for fame and fortune If it’s not enough, besides, it’s really bothering that circle, and I can’t hear a single truth.”

"In fact, I am very grateful to Rong Yu. Although his big truth has made the past prosperous, I can finally be a man without wearing a mask, and I can finally leave my father's siege. Otherwise, I will always be surrounded by so many good resources. Holding it, I really don’t necessarily have the determination to break free.”

Lan Xueqing was very emotional, but also felt that it was a pity. Could it be that Leng Feng really stopped making works after this?From the age of five to almost 30 years old, sculpture has become something that has been integrated into his flesh and blood. Should he just let it go?

Leng Feng laughed at himself: "However, after leaving Denghong and coming to Lijin, I found that I don't know anything except those flashy works of art. I should go to a teacher, and I can work as a carpenter in half a year, so I can at least support myself."

This cold, hard and arrogant man opened his heart on this cold winter night. Lan Xueqing felt a little distressed. She knew that Leng Feng didn't need an audience, but he just happened to be in this mood. Just in front of his eyes, it became the audience.

But she still didn't quite understand, why was Leng Feng suddenly touched tonight?

After Leng Feng said this, he seemed to have vented all the unsatisfactory backlog in his heart. Although he couldn't change anything, his mood seemed much more stable. He smiled: "Sorry, I made you laugh."

Lan Xueqing shook her head: "Ah Feng, I really hope you can release yourself. You look calm and rational, but you suppress yourself too much."

"That's right." Leng Feng didn't refute, and said with a faint smile: "It's not easy for adults to make a scene, and I'm not Yuan'er."

Both of them couldn't help laughing, Jiang Yuan and Leng Feng are completely different people, Leng Feng often mocked and scolded Jiang Yuan as weak and willful, but in fact he sometimes envied Jiang Yuan's willfulness, like his I can't be self-willed no matter what, I know too much what is good, right, correct, like the sculptures he made, every knife is extremely precise, but when put together, it ends up with a precise and boring thing.

Leng Feng didn't know how to change himself, he felt that some things might be innate, maybe he chose the wrong path, if he has such a temperament, if he becomes a carpenter, a doctor, or a law enforcement officer, maybe he will have a better future and be more comfortable.

After Lan Xueqing left, Leng Feng poured himself a glass of wine, stared at the bulging piece on the workbench for a while, and then stretched out his hand to open it.

The ugly squirrel stared blankly at him while dragging its cloud-like tail.

Leng Feng took a sip of the wine, stretched out the glass to the squirrel, as if he wanted to clink glasses with it, this behavior was a bit childish, Leng Feng couldn't help laughing, and then drank the wine in one breath, saying: "You and You're as stupid as your master."

I also said in my heart that the same thing is so irritating to people, and it is like a nail at a glance, piercing people's hearts.