sick man

"I was terrified and fell ill as soon as I got back."

Even after many years, Xue Xiaoyun's eyes still faintly revealed fear when he recalled that dank torture chamber, with fresh or dried blood all over the floor, and the wailing that kept echoing in his ears.

At that time, he was only 16 years old, loved by Li Chengyan boundlessly, and he didn't know the feeling of sorrow at all.Never have I seen such a shocking scene.He didn't even want to stay in the palace, and insisted on going back to Xue's mansion to cultivate.

With this disease, I was bedridden for several days, and I thought about it a little deeply.

"When I was about to recover, he... came to see me."

Xue Xiaoyun looked up at Li Chengyan's face. When "he" was mentioned, Li Chengyan's body shook slightly, and then he straightened his back pretending not to care.

"When the servants came to pass it on, I thought I had heard it wrong."

Xue Xiaoyun curled the corner of his mouth, revealing a faint smile,

"He is the empress chosen by the empress dowager for you, and he condescends to come to see me..."

It must have come to show off.

He lay on the bed in fear and humiliation, he felt that Su Hongrui should be kept out, but he didn't dare to hinder the power of the Su family.

But he also didn't want to lose face in front of Su Hongrui.

So he chose a dress with the most complicated and gorgeous patterns, and puffed out his chest to meet him.

Once in the front hall, Xue Xiaoyun was dumbfounded.

Su Hongrui was still wearing plain clothes, sitting quietly at the table drinking tea, and even put a gift for visiting patients in his hand, his lowered eyebrows looked calm and peaceful.

Seeing him coming out, Su Hongrui was stunned for a moment, then stood up and smiled at him,

"Mr. Xue, please forgive Su for taking the liberty to disturb me."

That was the first time he heard Su Hongrui's voice, gentle and low, like a generous palm ironing people's hearts.Like a soft needle, it easily pierced his bluff.

"I fell in love with him right away."

Xue Xiaoyun admitted with some embarrassment, "He is a modest and warm person, and he also said that if I want, he can help persuade the Queen Mother to agree to our matter."

"In this case, why did you... jump off the cliff after meeting him?"

When Xue Xiaoyun recalled this place, Li Chengyan's expression had already changed.He pressed his chest with a rapidly beating heart, arched his back slightly, his head was buzzing, his whole body was a little shaky, but he still insisted on asking.

"Because... I'm afraid..."

Xue Xiaoyun slowly closed his eyes, he finally had the courage to face the demons that had tormented him for so many years.

"Are you afraid?" Li Chengyan repeated with difficulty.

Xue Xiaoyun nodded, his voice was a little unsteady,

"At that time, you had just succeeded to the throne, and there were Xiyi on the outside, and the third prince waiting to counterattack inside, and you and the queen mother had nothing to rely on. Once they succeed, then I... will really be like those people in the execution room, and I will end up with nothing to lose. The end of the corpse. I don't have the courage to face that ending, and even thinking about it, I feel scared..."

That timid and cowardly self is what Xue Xiaoyun can't bear to look back on.He lowered his head, not wanting Li Chengyan to see the guilt on his face.

Li Chengyan didn't know what to say anymore, he thought of so many possibilities, the only thing he didn't expect was that Xue Xiaoyun would give up on him.

"And...the Queen Mother chose the wrong person."

Xue Xiaoyun continued, "If Su Hongrui is domineering and aggressive, and insists on competing with me for you, I may insist on not giving in because I am not convinced."

"But... he is so kind, not only did he not look down on me, but he also helped me..."

"After he left, I thought about it for a long time, and I thought about it a lot. Maybe the queen mother is right. I will not help you at all except to drag you down. And Su Hongrui is the most suitable for you. He is the son of Su Jian, and he is A great general with great military exploits will definitely defend the country for you."

"So you decided to leave me?" Li Chengyan looked at him blankly, with a bitter pain in his heart.That bitter taste, like a torrential rain falling on a calm lake, created circles of undulating ripples in the bottom of my heart.He clutched his chest tightly, feeling out of breath.

"Yes...the only way I can think of is to leave you."

Xue Xiaoyun looked at him worriedly, thought for a moment, and still told the truth.

"Although I was young at that time, I also knew that you treated me sincerely. With your love for me, you would never let me go. So I thought about it, and then came up with a way to escape that I thought was wonderful. Law."

"I think, if I'm not here, all problems will be solved. The Queen Mother doesn't have to worry about what to do with me anymore, and you won't send people to look for me everywhere, and he can also be your queen as a matter of course..."

Avoiding Li Chengyan's deep and unpredictable gaze, Xue Xiaoyun explained with a little confidence.

He himself understood that no matter how brilliant the method was, it seemed to be for Li Chengyan's sake, but in fact, it was just a stopgap measure for his own protection.

He knew that he was wrong a long time ago, so over the years, the guilt accumulated in his heart a little bit, and finally reached the point where it was hard to get rid of depression.

"Chengyan, I'm sorry... I'm really... sorry..."

Xue Xiaoyun choked with sobs and couldn't continue speaking.If he was wrong, he was wrong, no matter how well-intentioned he was and how hard he was, he still couldn't get rid of the fact that he left Li Chengyan and ran away selfishly out of fear.

He came here today to tell Li Chengyan the truth, and even more to ask for his forgiveness.

"Xiaoyun..."

Li Chengyan, who had been silent all this time, finally spoke under Xue Xiaoyun's cautious and expectant eyes.He took a deep look at Xue Xiaoyun across the wooden table, and then said in a hoarse voice,

"You go..."

"Chengyan?" Xue Xiaoyun looked at him puzzled.

Li Chengyan buried his face in the palm of his hand, raised his other hand, waved it weakly a few times, and said to Xue Xiaoyun in an orderly tone for the first time,

"You go out!"

Xue Xiaoyun froze for a moment, stopped talking several times, and then left with a look of embarrassment on his face.

In the cold and damp cell, Li Chengyan was the only one left.

He maintained the posture just now, sitting stiffly at the table, like a frozen sculpture.Only intermittent sobs leaked from between his fingers covering his eyes tightly, and gradually filled the entire room.

"Hong Rui... Hong Rui..."

The tears rushing out of his eyes ran across his cheeks, seeped into his mouth little by little, and tasted the bitter and hot taste, Li Chengyan slowly raised his head, smiled wistfully at the void, suddenly frowned, and vomited a pool of blood Come.

"Your Majesty, Your Majesty! Come quickly! Your Majesty... Your Majesty..."

In the chaos, Yuan Xi screamed in panic and accompanied by the sound of chaotic footsteps, Li Chengyan covered his heart that was about to burst in pain and curled up on the ground, feeling nothing but the cold.

Li Chengyan's illness got worse.

He vomited blood and fell into a coma for three full days before waking up, but he still refused to see anyone, and even refused to drink the decoction he had reluctantly taken before.The cheeks that were originally thin, but within a few days, quickly sunken, mixed with a pale color, looking at it dazzlingly, it was a bit cold and bleak.

What was even more frightening was that he was already a little unconscious.

Sometimes when she was lying down, she suddenly sat up straight and ordered someone to find the queen.

The maid serving him knelt on the ground and kowtowed, crying and answering,

"Return to Your Majesty, you... have not conferred the title of empress, so please tell your Majesty which empress you want to announce!"

When Li Chengyan heard it, he was furious instantly, grabbed the jade pillow in his hand and threw it at the girl who was kneeling on the ground,

"Bastard! How could I not have a queen! I want to see Hong Rui, so hurry up and find him!"

As soon as the words fell to the ground, the flawless Hetian jade pillow rolled down to the side of the maid.Fortunately, Li Chengyan was sick and weak, and he missed his head. The jade pillow that fell on the ground didn't hit anyone, and it wasn't broken, only a few hideous cuts.

The palace maid was so frightened by Li Chengyan's words that she kowtowed and didn't even dare to reply.

"What are you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to find Hong Rui?"

Li Chengyan threw the quilt and pillows on the bed to the ground, and lay down on the bed wearing only a jacket.

The palace people outside quietly lifted the curtain to peek, feeling that the girl whose forehead was bleeding was really pitiful, so they secretly went down to look for Yuan Xi.

With Li Chengyan's current state, only Yuan Xi dared to persuade him.

When Yuan Xi came in, he held a child by his hand.The child looked about eight years old, compared to his peers, he was already taller, and there was still a faint shadow of Li Chengyan in his sculpted eyebrows and handsome eyes.

"Your Majesty, the prince is here to serve the sick."

Yuan Xi went to the bed and knelt down, lowered her head and flirted with the maid, the maid retreated tremblingly holding her breath as if she had been pardoned.

"Yuanxi, you came just in time."

Li Chengyan sat on the bed, his anger subsided a little because of Yuanxi's arrival, he pointed in the direction where the maid just left, and said angrily,

"You are becoming more and more useless! Who are you going to find for me to serve you? One by one is more stupid than the other, and you can't even invite anyone! Go! Go and invite me for the queen right away!"

After hearing this, Yuan Xi knelt and kowtowed in haste,

"Your Majesty, I'm afraid you have misremembered. Now in the harem, you only have a concubine, not a queen."

"nonsense!"

Li Chengyan lifted the quilt that Yuanxi had covered him again, patted the bed and cursed,

"Take one or both of them as if I'm sick and confused? How could the empress whom I personally married disappear without a trace? Hong Rui clearly returned to the imperial court yesterday, so why can't he invite me!"

"Your Majesty, what you're talking about...is General Su?"

Yuan Xi raised his head slowly, with a subtle tone.

Li Chengyan didn't answer, just stared at him for a while, then suddenly covered his forehead, parted the corners of his mouth and said with a smile,

"I really misremembered, Hong Rui sent someone to deliver a message from the border yesterday, but I thought it was him who came back..."

"Your Majesty... have you forgotten?"

Yuan Xi's concerned eyes were covered with a layer of panic, he pinched the hem of his clothes, and said tremblingly,

"General Su...he didn't go to the border, and he didn't send anyone to return the news. He had already..."

He is already dead, have you forgotten?

Yuan Xi let out a sneer in his heart, and just as he was about to blurt out this sentence, Li Chengyan interrupted him abruptly, and turned his gaze to the child kneeling beside Yuan Xi, and asked,

"Who is this?"

Immediately, the child stood up, raised his head to look at Li Chengyan, and shouted aggrievedly,

"Father, you are my son."

Li Chengyan showed a rare loving expression, even stretched out his hand to touch the top of his head, and said with a smile,

"What are you here for?"

The child also smiled at him, and replied in a serious manner,

"Reporting to my father, my son is here to serve the sick."

Li Chengyan touched his immature face again, stared at it thoughtfully for a while, and said in a hoarse voice,

"If he's still here... I'm afraid the child will be this old, right?"