Haomai Xiansheng

Fang Yitu looked at the emperor who had just been promoted to 'Xiandi' with a puzzled look on his face: "You have never believed in immortality, and you are not old enough, why did you take the elixir and die?"

The emperor slapped his thigh and scolded: "Mother Xipi, what kind of medicine is it? After you went, sister, I arrested Fang Luo, and when I was discussing with the ministers how to convict Fang Luo, someone said that he could call back souls."

It's like this...

In the Changle Palace dedicated to the Dachaohui, all the gold vessels were replaced with silver pottery, and the red parts were also wrapped with white cloth.The emperor sat facing south, wearing a mourning suit made of natural colored linen, the crown on his head and the jade pendant on his body were all removed, and he wore a linen hat, with a sad face, and knelt on a linen mat with his arms folded.

Dagong is a mourning dress made of cooked linen, which is slightly thinner than "Qi Shuai" and slightly thicker than "Xiaogong". "Gong" is the same as "工", which means that the workmanship is very rough, so it is called "Great Gong".This mourning dress is worn for nine months.The etiquette system does not stipulate the color of the emperor's mourning clothes for his subjects, nor does it stipulate the color of the men's mourning clothes for his sister-in-law, and the emperor's original intention was not to wear mourning, so he just wore it like this.Qi Shuai is mourning for grandparents, stepmother, and wife. Although it is heavier, it cannot be worn.

All the ministers lined up and entered the queue. Before they had time to bow down, they were so scared by the emperor's attire that they almost passed out.After prostrating quickly and vigorously, he kneels and sits on the brocade cushion on the ground according to the etiquette.All the ministers sat down for a while, then stood up from the ground one after another, stepped out, huddled together and said: "Your Majesty can't do it!"

The fat old man had a headache and cried: "Your Majesty is a king and a minister. He is humble and not respectful. How can your majesty mourn for a subject. Your majesty, please take off your clothes!" Don't do that!

The general beat his chest and stamped his feet: "Your Majesty's move, how can Boss Fang's spirit in heaven be safe?" I'm afraid that Boss Fang will lose his fortune!

The handsome man knelt down and said: "This is the Mingtang of the Son of Heaven. It is not your Majesty's bedroom. Your Majesty must not do this!" Go back and do what you like, be careful here!

The bearded man tore off his clothes to reveal his mourning attire, and said: "The mourning of the Empress Diji is painful for me, but I can serve as a role model for my colleagues and teachers, but your Majesty can't!"

The old man, who couldn't open his eyes and lost all his teeth, said tremblingly: "Rituals and music are the foundation of a country. Your majesty's move shakes the country's foundation. I wish to die!"

The emperor saw that the old man who was obviously not alive for a few days said this, so he was furious, picked up the startle next to the jade seal and slammed the table: "Shut up!" Tiannian, how do you do this act of selling fame and reputation? Since your words are humble but not honorable, how dare you threaten me with your life! To show off your loyalty for a while, take away the fame of the world, and make me fall into a coma, this is not what a virtuous minister would do! "

What's the matter, you're going to die!This is deliberately using your life to discredit my famous name!Can't you talk well if you have something to say, even though I won't listen to you!

The old man gasped for a moment, unable to speak, rolled his eyes and fell down with a creak.

The emperor copied the gavel again and clapped: "Crack! Crack! Crack! If I want to get rid of my obedience, I just need to do my three things!"

All the ministers are familiar with the road, and the ministers, especially the left and right prime ministers and a group of officials in the Zhengshitang and Zhongshu Sheng, all understand the emperor's habit of blackmailing people.They can reject the unreasonable edict of the emperor, but after they reject it, the emperor still has shameless tricks to threaten them, and that's it again!

The emperor said confidently: "First, I will issue an order to order Fang Luo to be executed for my sister!"

The heaviest of the five clothes is zhanju, which refers to the mourning clothes made of burlap.This kind of mourning clothes cannot be hemmed, and a few pieces of burlap must be cut out with a knife and stitched together randomly, so it is called "cutting".

This kind of mourning clothes will be worn for three years once it is worn, and it is used between immediate family members and the closest people. For example, a son mourns for his father, and a wife mourns for her husband.The reason why the mourning clothes are random patchwork means that the person closest to me has died. How sad I am, I don’t even have the mood to make clothes, so let me wear a few pieces of sackcloth to mourn for you.

All the ministers looked at the majestic look on the emperor's face, and then looked at Fang Niu, the doctor who had always spoken and acted in accordance with the Book of Rites. He looked sad and seemed about to bite someone, so he shut up.Anyway, Fang Luo is now in the dungeon, and no one else can see what he is wearing in mourning... It is more important for the emperor to get rid of his uniform.

Shameless Your Majesty!Threatening others with yourself again!Hate!

The emperor said more seriously: "Secondly, I will cut Fang to pieces to avenge my sister's death."

Just as the ministers were about to speak, the emperor slapped the gavel when their words came to his lips, and said, "Thirdly, I want to pursue the posthumous title of Sister Zhenguo Wude King."

All the officials rushed out one by one, weeping bitterly and kowtowed to the ground.

The emperor folded his hands, closed his eyes, and used his internal force to seal his hearing, and waited for half an hour before speaking.Half an hour later, he almost jumped up when he opened his eyes...

At the court meeting, all the ministers and ministers were divided into five camps and fought each other over "what should be done for Fang's crime" and "why should Fang Diji pursue her posthumous title?"

"Boss Fang has worked hard and made great achievements, these are what should be" faction, pure generals, mostly Fang Yitu's former brothers, pure Fang party members.

The "Emperor Empress is pitiful and respectable, but these are too ostentatious, and shed a little to avoid criticism." The faction is mixed in civil and military, and pure party members.

The faction of 'Everything is fine except chasing posthumous posthumous titles' mainly focuses on young civil servants.

'Only the first one can do nothing else' faction, mainly middle-aged civil servants.

'Nothing at all!Don't think about it! The 'pai' is dominated by a small number of elderly civil servants, a small number of middle-aged civil servants, and a small number of non-party generals.

The generals roared angrily and picked up sterling silver lampstands weighing more than ten catties, took off their official hats and long hairpins to make Emei thorns, rolled up carpets into buckets, showed their fists and feet, and carried mats, books, and boards, The screaming and screaming civil servants fought together.

The emperor held his chin and looked at it with great interest for a long time, then said rather fearfully: "Fortunately, fortunately, it is fortunate that you are not allowed to bring weapons or use internal force in the palace."

Even though Fang Niu was in a low mood, he still wanted to laugh when he saw the people in a mess: "Otherwise, the Palace of Changle will be demolished."

The emperor said triumphantly: "I don't need a beacon, but I can make you smile, and I can kill two birds with one stone."

When the officials saw that the emperor woke up, they immediately stopped, and the emperor immediately stopped talking.With a gloomy face, he said coldly: "My elder sister has done so much for the country and the people, and now she is killed by a thief, how do you want me to forgive you?"

Zuo Prime Minister Ma Boshen picked up the Jinxian crown from the ground and looked at it, but it was not him. He took the Jinxian crown and passed it all the way, broke half of it, put it on his head, and inserted a long hairpin.Looking at Fang Niu, he came out and said: "Your Majesty, I have heard that the Lord does not judge rewards and punishments based on personal feelings. Fang Luo is guilty, not guilty." He said in his heart, Your Majesty, you like Fang Niu, yes, but if you want Fang Niu Niu favored Fang Diji to the point of ignoring the criminal law, so that's no good.Fang Luo killed his wife and the emperor concubine, according to the law, he could be killed by a lord or a stick, and there is no rule in the law that he can be cut, so you can't do that.You can't just be like this just because she is your lover's older sister!You are not married!

Right Prime Minister Zhan Yuelou adjusted his official uniform, which was scratched by the embossment because he hid his fist on the mountain-climbing pillar, and also came out and said: "Your Majesty Qi Zuo, I think that Fang Luo can clarify the canonical punishment, but Fang Diji's posthumous title The word Zhongzhenguo can be used, but the word Wude still needs to be considered."

"Strength and straightness are called martial arts; mighty and powerful enemies are called martial arts; restraints and chaos are called martial arts; punishments and people overcome are called martial arts; boasting aspirations and poverty are called martial arts; mighty and ruthless virtues are called martial arts; eliminating falsehoods and preferring the true are called martial arts; To be far away is to call martial arts; to command the crowd is to be obedient, to be called martial arts; to protect greatness and make meritorious deeds is to be called martial arts; to be strong, to be obedient is to be called martial arts; To control the power of heaven is called martial arts; to secure the people and the people is called martial arts; to control the world is called martial arts; to be wise and not to kill is called martial arts; to be compassionate to the people and eliminate harm is called martial arts; to go to the enemy without avoiding it is called martial arts;

"Emperor Ji Fang was born in the army and fought against foreign invaders. Although she is a woman, she can be used by a warrior, but she must not be virtuous."

"Suirou people call virtue; remonstrance and disputes are not powerful, that is virtue; planning is not powerful, that is virtue; noble and good manners are called virtue; loyalty and pure preparation are called virtue; people from Suihuai are called virtue; tough and gentle, called virtue; diligent and sympathetic to the people. Virtue is called virtue; loyalty is called virtue; helping the world and the people is called virtue; being lenient to the public is called virtue; hard work is simple and honest is called virtue; benefiting and pure Shu is called virtue; being rich and honorable and polite is called virtue; Being far away is called virtue; being wise and renewing daily is called virtue; being good at government and nurturing the people is called virtue; "Admonishment and admonition without violation are virtues; rituals in the midst of circles are virtues; virtues that reach out to the outside world are virtues; Yixiu repairs without laxity are virtues."

"The posthumous title is for the conclusion of the coffin, and there is no way to change it. Your Majesty needs to be careful."

The emperor curled his lips: "Why can't sister be a word of virtue?"

A civil servant sprang up with teeth and claws, and shouted: "Your Majesty Qizuo, my family was broken when I was young, and the one who looted was Fang Yitu. How can such a person..."

He was covered again, and another person jumped up and said: "Your Majesty, when I impeached General Fang, I was threatened by thieves..."

"Your Majesty Chen Qi, when I was in charge of Yushitai, the Fang family had privately sent countless precious and beautiful maidservants..."

"I have my own, I made a slight mistake in supervising the military rations, but I was whipped by Mrs. Fang..."

"Fang's militarism..."

"The Fang family is good at provoking..."

"Fang's corruption, shutting down the way of speech and weaving disciples..."

The officials of the anti-party party memorized the long-written memorial one by one, and the party party also jumped up and rejected them one by one, and typed those who could not be rejected.

The emperor picked up the Jingtang and patted it twice, without looking at these people, he said, "How about Ma Xiangyi?"

Ma Boshen was tall and dignified, even though he was wearing a worn-out hat, he still did not detract from his demeanor, bowed and said: "Your Majesty, I think it is more appropriate to posthumously be strong."

"Fortune and strength are strong; strength is strong when he is conquered; strong is death in the wilderness; strength is victory over the enemy and chaos; courage is strong when strength is used; Strong; if you don't use etiquette, you can say that you are strong."

The emperor nodded and said kindly: "In that case, change it to Zhen Guo, Wu Zhuang, King De. How about it?"

…………

Fang Yitu scratched his head: "Daotai, I have heard enough about you fighting wits and courage with the officials on weekdays, and I know the result now..."

The emperor clapped his palms and suddenly said, "Sister is right, I am a bit wordy."

"Fang Niu wants to hang a crown and mourn for you for three months, I agree."

"I was thinking in the harem that I won't be able to see my husband for three months... I have three sons and eight daughters, and heirs are enough... I have nothing to do at night... Isn't it too insulting to invite the queen and concubine Shu to beat me up? Is it gentle? The main reason is that I can't win Concubine Shu... It's so embarrassing, Concubine Shu wins every bet, and I can't."

…………

The Huangmen official reported: "Qizou Your Majesty, there is an official named Wailang outside the gate of the palace, who claims to have psychic abilities and can invite Fang Diji, who has become a fairy, to come back."

The emperor was listless, and said with a sinking face: "I have seen a lot of jugglers with ghosts as an excuse."

He sighed leisurely: "When my sister was still there, every new year's festival, I would set up a colorful shed in the palace, and get some entertainers to perform the functions of fetching things with bare hands, swallowing snakes and spitting fire, transforming into a living person, being invulnerable to swords and guns, and catching ghosts and chewing them." Ghost bones, the tricks of going up the mountain of swords and going down into the sea of ​​fire are for everyone to see. After that, there is no "immortal way" to deceive me and the princes. Fang Luo's floating on the water and sister's fighting cattle across the mountain are the best, and I will never see them again , My sister can turn a small iceberg into snow powder through the wall, which is very beautiful."

The Huangmen officer bowed to leave, and the emperor said with an ugly face: "What is the name of that person, how dare he come here to deceive people while I am in grief! How daring!"

Huangmen official said: "His surname is Yang and his name is Ji. He donated an official in the year of Bingzi, and he claims to be a descendant of Erlang God."

The emperor turned to Sun Shilang and said, "This name sounds familiar, do you remember it?"

Sun Shilang saluted hurriedly, went to another room full of bookshelves, took out a book from the bookshelf, flipped through a few pages and said: "Your Majesty has a good memory, this Yang Ji has Li Xiang's comments, saying that he is a certain color. Uncertain, capable of sophistry, greedy temperament. Empress Diji's comment is that this person is a strange person, with many spirits and monsters, who is different from the world, and is good at making money, and has help from strangers, so he should not be a close minister."

…………

Fang Yitu raised his eyebrows and said, "Then His Majesty met him and ate the elixir he offered?"

The emperor laughed dryly: "Well, I thought, if he doesn't have supernatural powers, he can't communicate with psychics, isn't it... The elixir he offered has been tested for poison, and it didn't have poison. After taking one pill, I felt very refreshed all over my body, and in a trance, I went to the fairy world to see you, but I didn’t remember what I said, so I had to take another pill half a day later.”

"It's just two pills a day. After taking it for ten days, I... can't live without that medicine. If I miss a meal, I feel my body scratching, my blood pulses, my body is half cold and half hot, and my thoughts are upside down. I'll bring it to you The effect of the poppy is very similar. I tried to replace it with refined poppy. I tried many times, but I couldn’t relieve its pain.”

Fang Yitu frowned, and said in a hateful voice: "Did that guy kill His Majesty by doing this?"

The emperor held her hand bitterly: "That fellow wants an official, power, and I want the princess to marry him..."

The author has something to say: Yes, what that guy offered was the legendary Hai, Luo, and Yin... It is said to have a high-strength hallucinogenic effect and can also cause incontinence.

I don't want to say that this is Li Daimo's inspiration for me... I don't like him in a good voice, I hate bearded men, especially the bald head who laughs like a pussy, it's an insult to the bald head.

…………

Ask for a comment!Please discuss!Ask for promotion! ! !