Glass Butterfly

Failure

Ruan Youqing thought Tang Tu would say something, blame him, or at least ask him why.

Although he didn't seem to be able to answer the specific reason, just like he didn't know why it seemed logical to see Tang Tu stepping into his domain without permission.

The other party only asked if this was his first kiss.

This is not the first kiss.It's just like his first kiss a long time ago, out of the blue.

His first kiss was in the evening when he was 15 years old, on the quiet window sill, in the pile of books for summer homework, and in the drowsy sunset.

It was the first day of summer vacation. He and Jiang Jilan returned to Ciqing at the same time. When they met, Jiang Jilan looked up at him slightly and said, "Little Youqing, you've grown a lot taller."

Because of her body, Jiang Jilan was about 16 years old, and she didn't grow much taller when she was 7 years old. Her frail figure will exceed 1.7 meters. Ruan Youqing started to work hard in junior high school, but within two years, she was able to look down on him.

"Xiao Youqing is so handsome now, there must be many girls like it?"

He didn't deny it, and took out two carded envelopes from his schoolbag and handed them to Jiang Jilan. The opening of the envelopes was tightly pasted with heart-shaped stickers, and he hadn't opened them yet.

"This is... a love letter..." Jiang Jilan didn't seem very surprised, she just handed the envelope back to him, jumped onto the window sill with effort, "Read it to me." Some people gasp.

"Huh?" Ruan Youqing was taken aback, Jiang Jilan sat wearily on the window sill, leaning against the window frame and closed her eyes.

Each of their encounters was accompanied by a marked weakening of the other.The original handsome and cheerful little brother became more and more gloomy, skinny, and his beautiful big eyes were sunken.Ruan Youqing always felt that he was not as happy every year, and it seemed that it was not just caused by the torment of the lingering illness. Sometimes he couldn't understand Jiang Jilan's looking into the distance, or the surging eyes in his eyes. What is emotion.He felt that Jiang Jilan had something to tell him, but the other party never said anything.

"Read it to me." Jiang Jilan urged him in a low voice.

Ruan Youqing tore off the sticker, unfolded the thin, scented paper, and read out those youthful confessions word by word. Although the words were pure and reserved by the girls, they were not lacking in sincerity.The corner of Jiang Jilan's mouth forced a smile: "Are they pretty? Do you like Xiaoyouqing?"

"Looks good. I generally like it." Ruan Youqing folded the letter back into the envelope, not thinking about what to do with it. Although she couldn't respond, it was someone else's wish.At least these quiet female classmates don't always like to point and point at him like those kids in the elementary school class, which is much cuter.

Seeing that Jiang Jilan didn't intend to come down from the window sill, Ruan Youqing dragged a chair and sat beside him, took out his summer homework and laid it on the window sill to write. , or simply look at his face, not leaving his eyes for a long time.Ruan Youqing got used to it, let him watch, and wrote until the twilight, the orange light was soft and warm, Jiang Jilan picked up the glass beads he put in the pencil case and turned it around to the light: "Why do you keep it... ..how many years..."

Ruan Youqing seldom receives gifts from anyone, this meeting gift from Jiang Jilan when he was young is naturally very precious.

The man stared at the clear marble and said to himself: "Do you know what glass means?"

Ruan Youqing raised his head, he didn't understand the question.

"Stop writing, it's getting dark and it hurts your eyes." Jiang Jilan took advantage of the gap in his thinking and took away the notebook, closed it, and threw it in the pile of books, "How can a child work so hard on the first day of vacation?"

Ruan Youqing looked up at him, always feeling that the other party's mood was not right: "Tired? Go back to eat and rest?" He asked.

Jiang Jilan reached out and touched the top of his head: "Wait a little longer. Wait a little longer."

"Brother...what's the matter with you?" He panicked inexplicably, Jiang Jilan's eyes were wet, as if he was about to cry in a second.

"Xiao Youqing." The other party propped up his body and approached him, "If you don't see me in the future, will you miss me?"

He nodded naturally.From his point of view, this question is very superfluous. Apart from his grandfather, there is almost only one Jiang Jilan left in his world. Not to mention that he will not see this kind of nonsense in the future, even now, in the other three seasons when he cannot meet, he will meet from time to time. I miss this only playmate and only expectation since I was a child.He likes summer because he is not alone in summer.It took Jiang Jilan four years to finish high school. It stands to reason that he will enter university soon after this summer vacation.But Ruan Youqing couldn't feel the slightest bit of his longing and expectation, only felt that Jiang Jilan was full of entanglement and sadness at the moment.

"Speak. Speak out." Jiang Jilan would deliberately force him to speak more from the day he was diagnosed with hearing impairment.Ruan Youqing is used to being silent, but he has never been able to hold back this patient brother.

"Yes. But where are you going?" Ruan Youqing asked.

"Go...to get medical treatment..." The man leaned forward and slowly raised his chin, "Little Youqing, please don't forget me." After finishing speaking, he kissed me without warning, I don't know if it was somewhere Uncomfortable, Ruan Youqing felt that he was shaking badly.

The two lips are stuck together, the distance is too close, the range of vision is blurred, only the smell is mixed with a faint smell of Chinese medicine.

Jiang Jilan's mouth is sweet and soft, that's because the medicine is too bitter, he is used to taking a candy from time to time, blue eight-treasure candy with soda flavor.

The hand resting on Ruan Youqing's chin was very warm.Throughout the year, he always wears three layers inside and three layers outside, so Jiang Jilan's skin is always so warm, which is different from the seriously ill patients in Ruan Youqing's impression, so he thinks that his brother should recover, but he doesn't know where to go After being cured, they should be cured when they meet again, right?

Ruan Youqing just imagined a healthy Jiang Jilan in her mind, until she was pulled by the neckline by a big hand behind her and thrown to the ground.

The chair fell down with a bang, and Ruan Youqing hit the back of his head against the wall, feeling dizzy for a while.

"go home."

Grandpa couldn't help but dragged him up, pinched his arm and pulled him out, with such strength that his flesh, muscles and bones were aching.

Ruan Youqing looked back at the silhouette in the sunset, Jiang Jilan was still sitting in the boundless orange with the backlight, and the furry light was reflected around her, like an angel who was about to fly out of the window in the next moment.

"Shameless." Grandpa gritted his teeth along the way, staring at the front with red eyes, "Ruan Youqing, listen to me, you are not allowed to see him again in the future."

Since Ruan Youqing could remember, she had never seen her grandfather so angry, as if the sky was about to fall.He threw his beloved grandson into the room, sat outside the door and shouted out of breath, "Okay, don't learn...Okay, don't learn... I thought it was all rumors... Really... I won't see you in the future He's dead, and I won't let him see you again. You don't want to come back next summer. Yes, don't come back."

Ruan Youqing's schoolbag and hearing aids were still left in his grandfather's office and he hadn't brought them back. He vaguely heard his grandfather's hysteria, and recalled the bizarre scene just now.

Kissing is too novel for a 14 or 5-year-old boy. Such a charming reverie comes from romantic novels and movies, but he can recognize it as an intimate interaction between a man and a woman. He did not expect two people of the same gender to actually also can.

Shouldn't this be an act based on... admiration and liking?

He tossed and turned at night, the old single bed creaking.His heart throbbed, so Jiang Jilan...does he like him?Otherwise, why not just kiss him on the cheek like grandpa or the parents in childhood memories, but kiss him?What about me, do you also like Jiang Jilan?Although surprised, he didn't reject the kiss, and was even faintly excited.So, is he also welcoming his first love?It's just that he didn't expect that the other party would be the person who grew up with him silently.

Everything happened too fast, he wrote down all these questions that he didn't have time to verify, and he had to ask Jiang Jilan clearly the next time he saw Jiang Jilan.

But he never saw him again.

Their unexplained first love died in infancy.

The questions at that time remained in my heart, and Ruan Youqing found the answers one by one in the days of growing up alone.

After all, he understood the meaning of that question. Glass was just one of the code names for homosexuality in that era.

Jiang Jilan is gay, and so is he.

He didn't know whether he was influenced by Jiang Jilan or was born with it, it doesn't matter, what matters is the result.He doesn't pay too much attention to girls, and his eyes are only attracted to the same sex during his adolescence, which is not restless.

Ruan Youqing threw the glass beads back into the plate and couldn't help smiling.

It's been a long time since I felt this heartbeat.

"Boss!!!" Xu Hanyi raised her voice, "Did you hear me!" The girl frowned.

"What?" Tang Tu was taken aback.

Can't say it's the first time.In the past few days, he has been distracted frequently, and the culprit is that inexplicable kiss.Of course he was not stupid enough to ask Ruan Youqing why he kissed him. The young artist must have been extremely excited to be so recognized by the collector for the first time. He didn't know how to express his feelings, so he just happened to be standing beside him.Otherwise, why else? Is it because I like it?But there is a limit to a flirtatious kiss.

Artists have always been so hard to resist, they are straightforward, they are romantic and frivolous, you will never know what they are thinking, the only thing that is certain is that every plant and tree in this world may be in their eyes more important than you.

"I just said that Gu Ying called several times..." Xu Hanyi said, "You still don't see him?"

"Are there any new works?" Tang Tu put his glasses on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"...He didn't say yes." The little girl recalled, "It seems that there are no new works after signing the contract. It's been half a year..."

"Then just go and see him again sometime. Tell him I'm busy. If he offers to renew the contract, you imply that I don't mean it."

"Boss, I heard his tone is not right..." Xu Hanyi was a little embarrassed, "He, that, you saw him drinking at the bar that time... After that...he seems to be not right..."

"En." Tang Tu found a contract from the folder, "Fortunately, the first batch of young artists signed contracts for half a year. It's only a few days away, bear with it."

Creativity and inspiration are not inexhaustible.But he can never accept that an artist uses drugs to stimulate these precious feelings, which is like stealing, and he will never renew his contract with an artist with a history of drugs.

"...I knew you didn't want to renew your contract with me, heh."

Xu Hanyi turned around abruptly: "Teacher Gu? You, how did you get in??"

A haggard man stood at the door of the office. He looked like he was drunk, and he staggered towards Tang Tu's desk step by step: "Do you think I want to! Do you think I want to do this! But I draw Can't come out! You don't help me! You don't want to wait for me! Since you look down on me so much, why did you agree to sign a contract with me in the first place, and why did you encourage me?"

"Why did you come here without saying a word. Sit down." Tang Tu did not rush, smiled at him, and pointed to the chair opposite, "Hanyi, go get some coffee." He glanced at his little assistant, Xu Hanyi has always been smart, so he should be able to call the security guard.

He didn't know how this person came up, but he hadn't seen him for three or four months, so it's not hard to imagine how this person looked like a ghost.Some things are stained for a lifetime.

Tang Tu silently grabbed the phone, and if this person behaved out of control, he could call the police.It's not that he has never seen foreign artists go astray, self-mutilate, hurt others, go crazy, and die because of drug use.

"Gu Ying, what's going on recently..."

"You don't ask questions knowingly. So your gentleness before was fake, right. You must be deceiving others again now. I have inquired, Ruan Youqing? I heard that you came back from London yesterday. I stood downstairs waiting for you I will see you after work, and you will come out with him from 04:30 to [-] o'clock. Tang Tu, how did you prevaricate me when I confessed my love to you again and again? Didn't you say that you don't fall in love with artists? ?”

Tang Tu was dumbfounded. He confirmed that the other party must have a serious mental problem, because Gu Ying had never confessed his love to him, and it was a fabricated memory.

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Just a light kiss~