The Emperor of Meiqiang and the Shadow has grown a pair of bunny ears

How can I do this?

Qi Jiu didn't figure this out.

He is still doing repetitive things, occasionally live broadcasting, occasionally writing songs, secretly giving Yan Shiqing the situation quietly, and completing any work and training with all his heart.

He also tried to make a little change, learning to master some skills every day, running and singing, and growing a bunch of flowers on the open-air windowsill with the wine bottle that Lin Beisheng had finished drinking.

He also quietly used his own money to sign up for an acting class. After being discovered by his agent, he scolded him severely, but he was not banned.

But Qi Jiu still felt that it was not enough, and still felt that he was not on the way.

He sometimes dreams that when he was a child, he jumped down from the third flight of stairs wearing a cloak, and the joy he got in the dream turned into sadness the moment he woke up.

All his efforts did not bring enough sense of accomplishment. Qi Jiu's life was filled with trivial incidents. When he stopped and reflected, he realized that all the confusion was rooted in:

I don't know what I'm doing.

No. 11 months since his debut, Qi Jiu's assistant and manager changed several rounds, and finally waited for Yang Xiao to move forward stumblingly.

It was at this time that he received an invitation from Yan Shiqing.

Yan Shiqing and Zhou Qing first focused on opening up the road wholeheartedly, laying down the country step by step, and gradually forging a way out of the environment where it was difficult to walk.

He has won many awards abroad with the crew, and is gradually shifting the focus of his work back to China. His name is once again ringing up in domestic forums.

In the second year of going abroad, Yan Shiqing participated in several Olympic films, one of which actually won an award. When the media interviewed him about his next plans, he announced calmly that he was about to return to China for development.

When he was at a loss, he suddenly gave up the future that had already paved the way, and resolutely set foot on the flight back to China.

But in fact, he was even busier in the days before returning to China. Most of the affairs were lined up for him to deal with. The most recent schedule was not vacated until the day before the Golden Flower Film Festival.

Zhou Qingxian simply took advantage of this opportunity to let him attend a grand event, and demanded that his first public appearance must be full of energy, and he would not be allowed to run around, so he was ordered to stay in the hotel to recharge his batteries and overcome jet lag. .

Zhou Qing first knew that he couldn't trap him, so he informed Qi Jiu in advance, told him the air ticket, invitation letter, and Yan Shiqing's room number, and told him that he could come early.

Qi Jiu agreed, but also brought Yang Xiao along, and changed the ticket to a few hours before the film festival.

He had a reason. On the day Yan Shiqing came back, he had a live broadcast of his debut on the signing platform, and he had to record a song the next day. This was the closest time he could squeeze out.

Qi Jiu can also explain, he remembers that Yan Shiqing always wanted to hide him before, if someone caught them in the same framed photo at this time, it would be a kind of trouble for Yan Shiqing's current state.

And even if I was photographed on such an occasion with my agent, I can justifiably say that the company arranged for me to socialize and study.

He also remembered that Yan Shiqing felt sulky for a few days after he made his debut and moved out of the house. If old accounts were brought up at this time and there was a conflict before the ceremony, the impact would be even worse.

Anyway, that's how Qi Jiu convinced himself.

That's how he convinced Yang Xiao, Zhou Qingxian, Lin Beisheng, and Yan Shiqing.

Qi Jiu should be happy, rather he hopes he is happy.

Looking at the booked flight information, he interpreted his abnormal heart rate as excitement, and believed that the emotion that made him unable to sleep did not come from anxiety.

His lover may be able to unlock a new achievement, a milestone in his career, and the result he's been waiting for.

Qi Jiu persuaded himself to put away the strange emotions of the past few months, hide the anxiety and confusion, and witness with Yan Shiqing wholeheartedly——

But he screwed up.

Qi Jiu messed up, the plane was delayed that day, and he couldn't show up on time.

Qi Jiu remembered that it also rained that day.

He temporarily changed to a high-speed train, and was caught in a lot of rain during the journey, which messed up the delicate shape.

He remembered that he kept apologizing to Yan Shiqing on the train, but he couldn't remember what he said, nor how the other party comforted him.

Only the hot feeling in the heart remained, wrapped in annoying anxiety and irritability, covering him like a steamer in the scorching air of August.

Qi Jiu can't remember many details clearly, but he can only vaguely recall the smell of rust in his throat, the taxi driver's horn irritably, and black mist-like dots appearing in front of his eyes.

Yang Xiao started the live broadcast at the side, and the host's high-pitched voice came out, and Qi Jiu was disturbed to hear it, so he asked him to turn it off.

When waiting for Qi Jiu to arrive at the place, more than half of the awards ceremony had passed, and only the heavyweight actor and actress hadn't been announced yet.

The venue has been blocked and no one is allowed to enter. Holding the invitation letter, Qi Jiu can only go around and go in through the back door. He only dares to stay on the extended platform, hiding at the door and watching from a distance.

The dark backs on the seats, which one, which one is Yan Shiqing.

He was panting unevenly, and his vision was covered with fog caused by lack of oxygen. He couldn't find the answer, only the big screen switched the faces of several candidates.

Yan Shiqing was also looking for someone at the last second. He turned his head slightly and glanced past the entrance. After realizing that the camera was sweeping over, he slowly retracted, showing a decent smile.

He is dressed very handsomely today, with narrow brows and no blemishes on his face. He even controls every angle of his smile, showing an irresistible heroism under the camera.

Qi Jiu's limbs were cold.

He found that his heart was beating very fast, and he was running too fast just now, and he could hardly keep up with his breathing.

He sent a message to Yan Shiqing in the car, probably because the communication equipment was confiscated during this period, and Yan Shiqing didn't know where Qi Jiu was.

Qi Jiu's clothes were covered with mud, and his hair was blown tousled by the wind. He bent down and held the door to gasp for breath, showing no grace at all.

After the long-awaited joy was diluted, only self-defeating embarrassment remained.

Just as he tried his best to adjust his breathing, a familiar name sounded in his ear.

Qi Jiu's information processing center had slowed down, and he didn't realize what happened just now until thunderous applause sounded.

Best Actor, Yan Shiqing.

His lover, at this moment, became the film king.

Qi Jiu's hand holding the doorknob was trembling, his airway seemed to be choked, and the feeling of vomiting from excessive running surged, he hurriedly covered his mouth with the other hand, suppressing his cough.

Qi Jiu thought, he should be happy.

He gasped for breath and told himself forcefully amidst the noise separated by a layer of fog.

Be happy, get excited...!

This is your lover The person you love How can you have any other bad emotions at this time You shouldn't share his joy--

"Qi Jiu!" He heard Yang Xiao call him, "What's wrong with you! Why is your face so pale! Did you feel uncomfortable after running for too long just now..."

The sound pierced into the brain like thunder, and gradually faded away, leaving only a paleness in the mind.

Qi Jiu raised his head slowly, looking at the podium with blurred vision.

It was too far away, and he couldn't see Yan Shiqing's facial features clearly, so he could only use the screen.

Watch him through electronic devices like you did two years ago.

He remembered that he watched Yan Shiqing win the award two years ago under the quilt. As long as Yan Shiqing appeared in every scene, he would feel happy, and he would cut and watch it frame by frame.

He remembered that he didn't care at all whether Yan Shiqing would win the award or not. He would start screaming when he saw the nominations when the list was released, and would happily kick the bedsheets, dazzledly giving likes to every barrage that praised Yan Shiqing.

Why did things become like this?

Qi Jiu felt that he should be in love with Yan Shiqing, otherwise how could there be such a heart-wrenching moment.

In the devastation, what he felt was not joy, pride, or excitement, but panic from the depths of his heart that hit his soul.

Like an ant, it gnawed at his skin and devoured all his decency.

Fear rose from the soles of his feet like a tidal wave, and after submerging his whole body, Qi Jiu felt a trace of desolate inferiority complex again.

really weird.

This is the five years since he grew up in No.20, and he has always regarded happiness as the first priority. This is the first time he feels this kind of emotion, and he got it from his lover.

...Can such a relationship really be called a lover?

Qi Jiu was at a loss and felt a little confused.

He wondered vaguely, what will Yan Shiqing do next?What should I do next?

Will he continue to move forward, will he touch the next achievement, will he gradually become an existence that is difficult for others to match?

what about me?Should I follow him?Or will he be locked up at home again?

Am I going to do the same thing again?Am I never going to catch up with him?Have I been off track?

Am I about to be left behind by him again?

Qi Jiu recalled that Qi Yan used to say that people cannot raise cats because of overflowing sympathy.

Amidst the intense devastation, and outside the hopeful stage, he was slow to realize that Qi Yan was right.

Now the cat wagged its tail, gracefully, and walked away without looking back.

Questions, contradictions, and entanglements that had been avoided countless times exploded in front of him, Qi Jiu trembled all over, his lips and teeth were slightly parted, and he was speechless.

He finally dared to admit that such a relationship is not normal.

If it is a normal couple, they will not hesitate to buy a ticket when they are tossing and turning, wishing to cross the constraints of time and space, and hug their lover in the next second.

If it is a normal couple, they will not be so depressed at such a time that they dare not vent their anger, full of fear, and selfishly consider their own whereabouts at such a brilliant moment.

Qi Jiu was choked up, and his last thought came to mind:

If only I was good enough.

His eyes were filled with golden lights, and Yan Shiqing's clear acceptance speech was amplified by the microphone, but Qi Jiu still couldn't hear it clearly.

He gently sucked the tip of his nose, keenly looking for Yan Shiqing's smell in the air.

The venue was too big, there were too many people, and the barrier agent functioned too well, so he couldn't find it.

This is the alpha who marked him, the alpha he dreams of, the alpha he loves.

But Qi Jiu had tears in his eyes and breathed hard, but he still couldn't find the taste of bitter tea engraved in his body.

...Qi Jiu found nothing.