Black Powder Monologue Diary

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2020. 3, 9

It's been two weeks since the production started, and I haven't seen Tan Ling yet.I heard from others that Tan Ling had few roles and only signed a two-month contract with the crew, so she would only come over when the filming was nearly halfway through.

Because this semester has just started, I'm not too busy.When I don't need to make up, I sit alone in the chair of the crew, study the topics assigned to me by the instructor, and just send the outline of the article before the end of the month. This is not very difficult for me.

I waited boredly for Tan Ling to arrive, but what I didn't expect was that before Tan Ling came, Ji Shanye came first.

That day, I arrived at the set at eight o'clock in the morning because I had to do makeup for many extras.The film crew is setting up the scene for today's filming, and several actors are waiting on the chairs while reading the script.Around ten o'clock, some girls in the dressing room saw something, stood at the door chattering and ran out with their mobile phones.Even the few extras who were waiting in line behind to put on makeup gathered around the door in twos and threes to watch.

The costume designer of the production crew is surnamed Chen. She is usually called Sister Lisa by others. She is very kind and cheerful, and can chat with anyone.She came over and asked me, "Oh, do you want to go out and have a look?"

"What's wrong?" I said.

"Ji Shanye is here." She looked very excited.

I was wearing a mask, and my eyes were all on the eyebrow that was melting under my hand: "I'm not going, it's not finished yet."

"Then I'm going." She said and left.

The little girl who was being made up by me rolled her eyes and said to me in a low voice: "Teacher, can I do it later, I also want to go out and have a look."

I was silent for a while, and put down the eyebrow pencil in my hand: "You can go if you want, I just have a rest."

After they left, the makeup room suddenly became empty, with only a few people sitting on stools and swiping their phones.Thanks to the annoying Ji Shanye for giving me some time to breathe.

I sat on a stool, took off my mask, and took a sip of water.After a while, Miss Lisa came back from outside, and I put on the mask again. Sister Lisa walked up to me and showed me her mobile phone: "Look, I captured Ji Shanye."

There were a lot of people in the photo on the phone screen. She kept zooming in on that photo and zooming in again. Finally, I saw a man wearing a peaked cap and simple black clothes in a corner.Such a blurry portrait, I can barely make out, it should be Ji Shanye.

"It's a pity, he came to meet with the director. I only watched it for a short while before being dragged into the conference room by the director."

"It's so fucking handsome! You said this face, this figure, whoever sees it will not drool. I was thinking about seeing if I had a chance to take a picture with him. Look at so many people, how can I squeeze in?" It's good to go."

"Ji Shanye hasn't shown his face in public for a long time. He came to visit the class, and he will definitely be on the hot search soon."

Lisa looked up at me: "Well, after a while, his girlfriend Tan Ling will join the team, and he should come to visit the set. I think there will be a chance to see him."

She discussed gossip with me in a low voice: "I heard that Ji Shanye doesn't seem to have a good relationship with Tan Ling. They seem to be breaking up. Are you telling the truth?"

I said: "I don't know."

She looked at me for a while, staring at my face, not knowing what she was looking at, and it made me shudder.Then suddenly, she took off the mask on my face: "I said Xiao Lin, you are so handsome, why do you like to wear a mask? It would be nice to show it openly."

"If I hadn't seen you take off your mask by chance before, I would have thought you were too ugly to show your face."

I stepped back uncomfortably, put on the mask again, smiled awkwardly, and said dryly: "You praised me too much."

Sister Lisa said: "You are like this, you can be an idol." She then said: "Oh, I know a manager, do you want to introduce you?"

My social fear is brought to the extreme at this moment: "No—no need."

I chatted with her a few more times, found a random reason and said I needed to go to the bathroom, and left.To be honest, I am most afraid of people staring at me, especially listening to her say those words.

On the way back from the toilet, my phone rang.The instructor notified in the group that next week we will go to Qunqing Mountain to collect specimens, and also sent a document, which contains the information of several species that we need to focus on collecting this time.I clicked on the file and looked at it while walking.He didn't pay attention to the road under his feet, and bumped into a person head-on, and his mobile phone fell to the ground.

That man was like a rock, hard all over.My shoulder was so painful from the impact, but now I didn't bother to rub my shoulder, and hurriedly bent down to pick up my mobile phone.

Fortunately, fortunately, it didn't break.I am relatively poor this month and have no money to buy a new mobile phone.

"Sorry, are you okay?" said the guy who bumped into me just now.

I straightened up, and Ji Shanye's face appeared in front of my eyes.I froze for a few seconds at first, thinking it was my own illusion.But soon found out that it was reality, but still stood still.

I realized I was panting and my heart was beating wildly.This is not the excitement of the fans when they saw the idol, because when I saw him standing in front of my eyes, the first thing that came to my mind was the image of him holding a stick and blood at his feet.

It was my nightmare, I was shaking uncontrollably, my legs were so weak, I felt like I was going to collapse on the ground soon.

The psychiatrist said that you have to try to face the pain of the past, otherwise, you will never be able to get out.

My dad put on Ji Shanye's face and said, I'm going to kill you.

My mother said, I want a happy family, although I love you very much, but I'm sorry, I can't keep you by my side now.

The words of many people kept ringing in my ears.At that moment, I felt like a piece of porcelain with cracks, which looked intact on the surface, but as long as others touched it lightly, it would turn into a piece of residue.

Ji Shanye didn't leave and kept looking at me.Although I don't know what he is looking at, maybe he thinks I am a fool.

"Are you okay?" he asked again.

"It's okay." I finally said.

"Sorry," he said.

Our conversation ended here, and he hurried away quickly.I stood where I was, looking at his back, and smelled a faint woody fragrance.Obviously, it was Ji Shanye's smell.

I went back to the dressing room like a marionette, and the extra girls had already sat down obediently.I continued to put makeup on them, but for some reason, I couldn't calm down.

I suddenly thought of the father who was still in prison.I haven't thought about him for a long time, and thinking about him doesn't do me any good.

He won't come out again, and he won't hit me again.Thinking of this, my tense heart slowly relaxed.Yes, no one will hurt me anymore.

Meeting Ji Shanye was just an accident.He's a star, and there's no overlap with his own life.He has nothing to do with my asshole dad, I should relax, I'm safe.

After calming down, I began to recall all the details of the meeting with Ji Shanye.

The clothes he was wearing were pure black, and the hat was pushed down very low. It was different from seeing him on TV before.

To be honest, I was a little bit frustrated.Because I always resentfully felt that Ji Shanye's face must have been modified by the camera, but just after I saw him in real life, I realized that he was just as the fans said, his appearance and body were impeccably perfect.

The difference between a big star and an ordinary person cannot be measured by distance.

In addition, what surprised me was that Ji Shanye's voice just now was different from the one in the movie.It seemed a little gentle and light, which made me very uncomfortable, and on the contrary, I became even more afraid of him.To use an inappropriate metaphor, it's like the well-dressed beasts that are often played in movies.However, this may also be because, as a star, he needs to maintain a perfect image in front of ordinary people at all times, so he behaved like a gentleman in front of me just now.

However, what happened to him has nothing to do with me, and we probably won't meet again.

[The author has something to say: I will never guess how long I will update.Please collect it. 】