Black Powder Monologue Diary

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2020. 2, 10

I saw Ji Shanye's poster in a restaurant today, and I was in no mood to eat in an instant.

He held a bottle of drink in his hand, and smiled lightly on his impeccable face. The poster was printed on the white wall opposite me, and I could see him as soon as I looked up.So I changed my position, with my back to him, barely able to eat the meal.

To be honest, Ji Shanye was not at fault at all.In the 20 years since he debuted at the age of 13 until now, he has never been out of breath.Mention his name, and the aunts sitting in the sun in the park can chat with you a few words.

For so many years, Ji Shanye has no scandals, no social news about house collapses, and no bad habits exposed by the entertainment media.Low-key and humble, most of his work is filming. The movies and TV series he shoots are either very popular, or he wins awards at film festivals and gets soft.

In the words of his fans, he is too perfect to be real.It is an existence that is close to being like a god.

It's really funny, if there is a God, I will be the first to make a wish to God, asking him to drop 300 million from the sky for me.

A staunch materialist will not believe in ghosts and gods.

I hate Ji Shanye.

If this sentence is said, he will definitely be chased and scolded by countless fans.

In high school, my one and only friend, asked me what I hated.I said I hate Ji Shanye.She looked at me in disbelief and asked me why, but I didn't answer.She then called me out of my mind and called me a dick.It's all about seeing other people's big stars living well, but I don't like them, and I feel sour for them.

I couldn't understand it at the time. In my opinion, even if I hated Ji Shanye, it shouldn't be enough to be chased and scolded.If you like Ji Shanye, you will like it, and I didn't force you not to like it, it's just a personal preference.Just like you like to eat coriander, but I don't like to eat coriander, it's nothing to be surprised about.Why, you still blame me, why don't you eat coriander, coriander is so delicious, and you scolded me by the way.

Since then, my friend hasn't said a word to me. Every time she sees me, she always rolls her eyes at me.However, I think, she may not regard me as a friend at all, but I have always been passionate about myself.

I don't have any friends anymore, and Ji Shanye also got rid of my only friend, and I hate him even more.

Everyone in the world likes Ji Shanye, only I hate him, only I am a freak.

How do freaks have friends.

2020. 2, 11

Let's talk about Ji Shanye again. I found that after I talked about it, I felt much better.

After I went to college, I was looking for Ji Shanye's black website on my mobile phone. I wondered if there were people in this world who hated Ji Shanye as much as I did.But after looking for it for a long time, there were basically none of them. They were all rainbow farts praising him.

Later, it was hard to find a black website related to Ji Shanye.I went in and took a look, and it turned out that they were all junior high school students or primary school students, and they came up with some seemingly fake materials to speak ill of him.What Ji Shanye was originally named Ji Gousheng, what Ji Shanye was an illegitimate child, what Ji Shanye had five children.I also insulted him with some unsavory swear words, and the adjectives in the scolding were getting dirtier one by one. I frowned, and finally backed out, and then reported the black station again.

Thinking about it carefully, although I hate Ji Shanye, it's not to this extent.I think Ji Shanye Studio should thank me, a person who hates him, for being able to help him with anti-criminal work.

Let me tell you why I hate Ji Shanye, although I don't really want to mention this part.

When Ji Shanye was 23 years old, he acted in a movie, and that movie helped him win the first important award in his life, and became a real powerful movie star.That should be a good thing for him, but for me, it's a nightmare.

When he was 23 years old, I was just 13 years old, graduated from primary school, and just entered the first grade of junior high school.My parents divorced, my mom ran off with another man, and I was handed over to my asshole dad by the court.

My mom made the right choice to follow that man, and she can finally live the life she wants.But I can't, I can't walk, I can't walk in every sense.

My dad and I lived in a very dilapidated apartment building that was rented. The house was very dilapidated, with mottled walls, yellowed walls, messy graffiti of children everywhere, and food poured out by the neighbor’s aunt on the steps. Rubbish, rotten smell everywhere.

My dad was a normal, good dad when he was sober.He will give me money, although the money is only enough to buy me a good meal.He will care about my studies, and when his conscience blows his mind, he will take me to the amusement park.But alas, he's rarely sober, he's a drunk, he's a jerk.

When he was drunk, he liked to hit people.This is also the main reason why my mother left him.Before my mother left, she protected me, and after my mother left, I was the only one left.

I don't hate my mom, she protected me for too long.Without her, I would have been thrown to death by my dad when I was very young.She was right to leave my dad, she couldn't take me away, and neither could I.I still rely on him to go to school.

September 23, I remember that day very clearly.When I got home from school that night, my dad wasn't home, so I knew he was drinking again.So I secretly ate a snack that was in the drawer. If my dad saw it when I came back, he would definitely beat me again.

When my dad was away, I was comfortable, cooking and doing the dishes by myself.Then he sat in the living room and watched the CD he borrowed from his classmate. He said it was a popular movie recently.I originally planned to watch TV and watch a movie at the same time, but the movie was so good that I was so fascinated by it that I ignored my dad's heavy footsteps.All I heard was a slam on the door, and before I could turn off the TV, my dad came back.

[The author has something to say: I'm coming!An update that was caught off guard, remember to bookmark it when it comes. 】