follow my heart

Ji Wan pursed her lips and took half a step back.

The hazy moonlight with the curtains not drawn mixed with the dim light reflected into the room, the light was not bright enough to reflect her gloomy expression clearly.

The two looked at each other in silence for a moment.

Seeing Meng Buqing's increasingly tense eyes, Ji Wan's expression softened a little.She sighed softly, looked at her calmly and softly, and said:

"Bubu, you're still too young, it's normal to have some random thoughts for a while. When you grow up a bit, and when you look back, you'll be annoyed at what you said, and I'll be annoyed at what I've heard."

Meng Buqing unconsciously held his breath.

Intuitively, Ji Wan knew what she was talking about, but she just didn't want to believe it.

She doesn't believe her.

This cognition hit her heart hard, and her voice was muffled: "For you, I'm really not mature enough, am I?"

"..."

Ji Wan didn't speak.

But it was clear that he had already answered.

Meng Buqing felt frustrated and regretted her, embarrassing her ignorance.

From very early on, Qi Min was her favorite author and idol she admired the most.

She was under too much pressure in high school, and her way of decompression was to copy Qi Min's novels by hand, copying the fragments she liked.Word by word, written so that I can almost recite certain fragments.

She suddenly remembered many years ago.

When Qi Min didn't have many readers, she would occasionally post some sighs about life's trivialities on Weibo.

One evening, just after Meng Buqing finished her evening self-study, she came out of the classroom and checked her Weibo.

On a cool, breezy night in summer, she bounced around with her heavy schoolbag on her back, and took screenshots first before carefully looking at the contents.This habit is entirely because Qi Wen always likes to delete old Weibo.

She said that day:

[After reading a book or listening to a piece of music, this moment is over.The rest of the space is a gap where quicksand cannot flow.I have never been able to like others. ]

Meng Buqing remembered that when he saw this passage, he was still self-righteous and happy, and could only understand the superficial meaning.

She has never liked anyone.Knowing that Qi Min is like this, she thinks that she is the only one in the world who can get along with Qi Min.

It's always been such a pleasant illusion.

The object of her heart at the beginning is the same person as the author who has always been on the cusp of her heart.The intoxicating sense of surprise and pleasure under the huge coincidence fell on me, and I didn't have time to look at other things.

For example, she is not good enough for Qi Min.

Not good enough for Ji Wan.

Meng Buqing lowered his face and nodded, but did not make any sound after all.

After obediently retracting into the bed, he turned his back to her, and then said in a soft but firm tone: "No matter what you think, anyway, I don't regret liking you."

Ji Wan frowned and locked her eyes, her eyes almost became severe.But when he spoke, his tone was still soft:

"Stop saying those disturbing things."

Meng Buqing turned over again when she heard the words, her dark eyes floated out from under the quilt, and she asked firmly, "Did I bother you like this?"

"..."

See her silent.

Meng Buqing's throat slid, swallowed the bitterness in his heart, and tried to ask calmly: "Did you work hard during the time you lived with me?"

"sleep early."

Ji Wan moved to the window and lowered the curtains.

Her evasive posture made Meng Buqing out of breath, and her hand hiding under the quilt grabbed the hem of the pajamas.He simply said insincerely through drinking: "Actually, I am also very tired, so let's stop living together."

Ji Wan paused and turned to look at her.

"..."

Meng Buqing twisted her pajamas and thought.

The reason why Ji Wan moved in, she said at the beginning.

Because Meng Yong owed her money and asked her to take care of his daughter before he died.

At that time, I had a subconscious judgment on Ji Wan with colored glasses, thinking that she had a special relationship with Meng Yong in a moment of unconsciousness.

Only then did he take out a large sum of money and throw it into the sea.

I thought she moved in to guard the house, to recover some lost property.As for the latter sentence, the wind blew past her ears purely as disgusting.

Thinking about it now, fulfilling the request of the deceased before his death may be the real purpose.

Ji Wan is very hard-spoken and soft-hearted, if she ever received help from Meng Yong when she was fledgling or in decline, she would remember to repay the favor.

Even if the benefactor has passed away, no one cares that she still does not return it.

In that case, she should set her free.

Meng Buqing thought calmly, what kind of care does a 20-year-old need?

Ji Wan's addiction to smoking came out again, and she looked at her, her tone became more and more low: "Go to bed when you're drunk, don't talk."

Meng Buqing raised her lips, and she even laughed, "Don't you like to hear other people tell the truth after drinking? And I know very well that you know how low the alcohol content of rice wine is."

Although the smile is ugly.

"You really want me to move away?" Ji Wan's eyes turned cold, and she clenched her sleeved hands tightly.

She was on the verge of giving in, trying to say something lightening.

In fact, a 20-year-old girl has just left the difficult and closed high school life, and has not had time to explore her own thoughts. It is normal to have various conflicting thoughts.

At the moment just now, looking into her hopeful eyes, Ji Wan even wanted to nod.

When you fall in love with her, you only want the present, not tomorrow, what's wrong?

Even if it's just a child's picture.

For a moment, Ji Wan blamed her for seducing him so much.In the end, I still hate myself for being so unbearable to temptation.

Against her cold gaze, Meng Buqing said with a soft "um": "Don't worry, I will ask you to settle the house after I graduate. Anything else you want can be taken away directly."

"..."

—

How the night ended, Meng Buqing has no memory.

She only remembered that she was hiding under the thick blanket, her hands and feet were still trembling uncontrollably, as if she was very cold.With her eyes closed, the beating heartbeat made it difficult for her to fall asleep.

Until there is the sound of chirping birds next to my ears, welcoming the dawn lively.

Meng Buqing was so tired that he was finally able to close his eyes and fall asleep.

She has a lot of dreams.

She dreamed that she had transferred from a private aristocratic school halfway to junior high school, and the learning content was quite different, so she couldn't keep up with the progress.

The wallet is a brand name, bought by my mother.When the classmate saw it, he said angrily: You are really rich.

She looked at the old wallet, thinking that she chose the school because she couldn't afford the tuition.

Later, I finally integrated into the environment slowly, catching up with the progress of my studies little by little.Although it took a long time to pay, it is also difficult to recall.

In fact, Meng Buqing has been working very hard.

"..."

Going to sleep again, and dreaming about the scene after my father went bankrupt.

The formerly amiable elders were tearing up their faces and making noise.Mom quickly packed up her things and left, leaving only chicken feathers left in the house.

On the day her mother left, Meng Buqing didn't dare to keep her.

She only dared to pretend that she didn't have any needs.After people leave, I sit alone for a long time, and I don’t even dare to cry—the house is already messy enough.

The home in my memory used to be an empty villa.The father who often holds meetings in the smoky Chinese-style conference room, the mother who invites the little sisters to go shopping all day for beauty treatment, and the meal cooked by the nanny aunt.

Then it was a simple room, my own bed.Cook your own meals in the kitchen.

Always lonely, gradually forget loneliness.

After such a long time, she didn't feel that she was lonely.

Calling friends and staying in the streets and alleys until dark, no one was waiting for her to go home anyway.Anyway, this is Meng Buqing's life.

She will always remember that the head teacher in junior high school called her to the office when she was sleeping in class, and taught her with a straight face.Hearing that she was aggrieved and said she was sleepy, she immediately softened her tone.

He also laid down his chair to let her lie down and sleep for a while before going back, and told her to combine work with rest.

The high school math teacher took her to his home and cooked for her.

Praise her happily when she makes a little progress.

As if she really was some kind of promising kid.

These shimmering goodwills are not often talked about, but Meng Buqing carefully packs them up and keeps them in his soft heart.

Let her be so arrogant and rebellious for so many years, she will not learn to be bad, or even do evil.

"..."

Meng Buqing kept dreaming and couldn't even tell whether he was really asleep or not.

She slept too lightly and kept waking up one after another.Because I was very afraid and didn't want to face this day, so I forced myself to fall asleep repeatedly with a little consciousness.

Then I hid under the blanket and slept until the afternoon.

—

The late spring sun is slanting, and the light in the living room is warm.

The sound of the road outside the window filled the air.

Meng Buqing was wearing slippers and pajamas, and walked out as lightly as a cat.What her throbbing heart expected to see—

After peeking at Ji Wan and the suitcase next to her, she froze in place.

Ji Wan slightly raised her eyes, and after colliding with her eyes for a few seconds, she calmly said: "Morning."

"It's late……"

Meng Buqing's voice was a little hoarse.

"Well," Ji Wan lowered her eyes, and straightened the handle of the trolley case, "Then I'm leaving. If you haven't had time to collect the things, we'll talk about them in a few days."

Meng Buqing wanted to say "yes", but unfortunately his voice was too dry, so he could only nod.His hands in his pockets were clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white.

Her face is still pretending to be dead.

"..."

Meng Buqing watched Ji Wan go out.

Her throat slid down, and her eyes stuck behind her back did not blink, watching her open the door and leave with a calm expression.I couldn't believe that she was so unrestrained and flirtatious, she didn't say a word, and didn't give her any room to repent.

I had to secretly remind myself that I was doing the right thing.

Why use the dead man's will to entrust her to bind her and cause her a lot of trouble.Ji Wan doesn't need her.

Meng Buqing was very sad in his heart, but he couldn't express it.

After closing the door gently, Ji Wan stood at the door for a few seconds.

She drooped her long eyelashes, staring at the black gap between the white floor tiles, and after a moment of silence, she pursed her lips and mocked herself silently.what are you waiting for.

"..."

She lifted the box and went downstairs.

Originally, there was a two-day short trip tomorrow.After Ji Wan packed her things, before she had time to tell Meng Buqing, she left early in this way.

The author has something to say:

There is a small red envelope in this chapter~

(It’s going to be sweet right away, don’t mess with my mentality with abandoning the article, raising the article and urging the progress, I want to finish writing this story well)