follow my heart

"I want you to be good," Ji Wan steadied her voice, and went to push away her hands tightly wrapped around her waist, "Hurry up, the car is waiting."

"Okay, I have to be obedient, so that I won't be thrown away."

Ji Wan wondered: "When did you say you were going to be thrown away?"

"What you said just now..." Meng Buqing looked at her aggrievedly, and said quickly, "You said that I am so annoying and clingy, that I hate you for being on your body and trouble you, and you said that you hate me."

Ji Wan was dumbfounded.

Ignoring her again, she opened the door of the taxi waiting on the side of the road, "Hurry up and get in."

Meng Buqing glanced at her in disbelief, took half a step forward, and couldn't help but glance at her again.

"..."

Ji Wan didn't speak anymore.

She looked indifferent, but when she lowered her head to get in, she made a careful movement of raising her hand to hold the top of the car door to prevent her from accidentally hitting her head.

Both got in and closed the doors.The car moved forward slowly.

In the narrow and warm car, Meng Buqing looked at her quietly from the side.

Ji Wan's face was shrouded in the dim light, her shadow was indistinct, and she couldn't see it clearly.Only the eyes are still bright, the peach blossom eyes under the long eyelashes are as quiet as black jade.

The light and shadow of the ever-changing scenery outside the car window passed her eyes.

Meng Buqing looked at her with a dazed expression.

Ji Wan also let her watch.

Still didn't speak.

After a while, Meng Buqing frowned, couldn't help feeling a little wronged, and said in a low voice, "You really hate me?"

"What do you hate?" Ji Wan turned her face, "Because you are annoying and clingy, and you always rely on me to trouble me?"

"..."

Meng Buqing choked on her words.

She wanted to say that she drank a lot of wine, and the intention of talking nonsense just now was to use the wine to act like a baby, and she wanted to hear her casually coaxing "like".

Ji Wan's attitude of ignoring her is so indifferent.

I still want to keep acting like a baby.

But alcohol made the brain dull, and Meng Buqing felt a sense of illusion and fatigue in a half-dream, and leaned back.She closed her eyes and suddenly lost interest in speaking.

"Why aren't you happy?" Ji Wan looked at her expression and said amusedly, "Last time when I was drunk, I said with certainty that I like you, but this time when I was drunk, I said with certainty that I hate you. What do you think?" .”

Meng Buqing stared at her suddenly: "I was not drunk at all last time! This time I was just a little dizzy!"

"Okay, then why are you suddenly unhappy now, because I didn't coax you, little drunk?"

"Don't coax..." Meng Buqing's voice suddenly dropped, "My own mother doesn't like me, maybe I'm really annoying."

Her tone was as cool as white, clear and shallow.

There is no emotion in it, like just casually saying something about the weather forecast I saw.

At this moment, a wisp of the hair beside the ear hangs down, covering the side of the cheek.

Meng Buqing pursed her lips slightly and remained silent.

In fact, she knew that when she spoke to Xiao Anqiao, her attitude was very bad, and she was a bit smug.I also know that she has a bad temper, and she will definitely be angry when she hears it.

but……

I haven't seen my mother for so long, Meng Buqing's casual and bearish expression hides some nervousness, trying to pretend not to care, but still irritated by this nervousness.

I can't control my temper a bit.

Meng Buqing can be calm, well-behaved and generous in front of other relatives, and she can say whatever she wants.

But in front of my mother...it's hard to act the way she wants to see.

"I said it before." Seeing her expression, Ji Wan could probably guess what was going on at the dinner table, and stretched out her hand to brush the hair from her cheek to her ear, "I won't find you annoying."

Fingertip movements are gentle.

Meng Buqing raised her face, "Are you so nice?"

"It's not my fault," Ji Wan said in a low tone, especially seriously, "Because Bubu is a little girl who is loved by others."

"..."

After a moment of silence, the corners of Meng Buqing's lips twitched slightly.

After getting in the car until now, I finally showed some smiles.

Seeing this, Ji Wan also bent her lips, "Go home and rest early."

"Ah."

—

The relaxed mood didn't last long. As soon as Meng Buqing entered the house, he saw the notification of all Aite's class groups popping up on his mobile phone.

Due to the teacher's time and teaching arrangements, the midterm exam time for the course "Mathematical Analysis" will be advanced.I have an exam next month.

All that came out from below were wailing sounds, mixed with a few receptions.

Meng Buqing was already worried about what he didn't understand in class and the homework he missed, but this time, his anxiety index quickly became full.

Originally her mind was still groggy, but she raised her hand and rubbed the center of her brows in annoyance, the more she thought about it, the more uncomfortable she became.It was difficult to breathe like an invisible boulder was suddenly pressed down on his body.

The wine woke me up.

Ji Wan washed a bunch of grapes for her in the kitchen, and quickly brought them out and said, "Eat some fruit, you can hangover."

"Ah."

"Why is your face so ugly?"

Meng Buqing lowered his eyes and took a deep breath for a long time, but still did not relieve the slightest irritability and panic: "Just now I saw the notice in the group that I have to change the exam time for a class."

Ji Wan: "Ahead of time?"

"Well, that teacher is really strange. If he has something important to do, can't he just cancel the exam? Is it reasonable to arrange it in advance?"

"when is the exam?"

"I'll take the exam on the [-]st of next month. This time I'm really doomed. My scores in front of me are already very low, and I haven't made up the ones I pulled down before. The percentage of grades in this course is still very high..."

The more Meng Buqing talked, the more anxious he became.

She tried to think of a way out of the chaotic and dire situation where there was no hope at a glance, "It's too early, he thinks everyone is a genius, if you don't teach him, it's really annoying—"

"Eat grapes," Ji Wan quickly picked up a grape and fed it to her lips, interrupting her with a warm voice, "Taste to see if it's sweet."

Meng Buqing ate it into his mouth, and said slowly: "Shouldn't grapes be peeled and eaten?"

"This is a grape, you don't need to peel it."

"Oh."

Meng Buqing's eyes under the long eyelashes were shining, staring at her.As if he had no hands, he waited for her to continue feeding.

"What do your classmates say?"

"They also said they didn't know what to do. Of course, a small part of it is true and the other part is fake. Anyway, they are better than me. There are a few people who didn't even think about passing the exam, so don't worry."

Ji Wan persuaded: "Then you don't need to be in a hurry. In fact, there is still a lot of time. It is time to review those contents and make corresponding plans. Even if you really fail the course, it is not a big deal to kill your head."

Meng Buqing said innocently, "Why don't you continue feeding?"

"..."

Ji Wan picked up the grapes one by one, and glanced at her delicate and bright red lips, her gaze flickered for a moment.

The action then stopped.

Then he stuffed the small basket full of red grapes into her hand: "You eat by yourself."

Meng Buqing puffed up his face, and reluctantly took it, but he didn't insist on pretending to be a three-year-old child to be fed.After all, he was mostly sober, so he wanted to save face.

Lamented: "Why is there such a big gap between smart people and stupid people in the world, what should I do about my exam..."

Ji Wan wiped her hands and touched the top of her hair, her voice was low and gentle: "Bubu, you have to believe in yourself. You are not stupid, you can always do things well if you work hard."

Meng Buqing puffed up his face, but actually didn't like being treated like a child.

But he couldn't refuse this intimacy.

Mathematics is not like some liberal arts exams. No matter how thick the book is, you can always see the progress of your recitation, and the time you spend can always be rewarded.

Mathematics is that if you can't correctly understand a complex and abstract concept at the moment, you may only be able to stay on the current page of the book for three days.

Meng Buqing once had a frustrating experience of being unable to eat, sleep well, and still unable to understand a basic theorem after thinking hard for many days.

Although after figuring it out later, a kind of enlightened happiness will finally emerge.

But the joy is soon shattered by the next problem that comes.

Recalling that painful time, Meng Buqing murmured: "I'm afraid, I really can't learn mathematical analysis well. In fact, the passing grade last semester is the result of my all-out effort."

Ji Wan asked: "Will many people fail the exam?"

Meng Buqing nodded with a pale face: "Of course, half of the people who died last semester were actually working hard."

Ji Wan said in surprise, "Then you are amazing."

"..."

Meng Buqing wanted to laugh but didn't dare to laugh, it was indeed a narrow escape.After she found out the score, she was almost relieved and ecstatic that the world was amnesty.

But this time I'm done, and I haven't understood the current class since the beginning of the school. How could mathematical analysis fool you.The basic foundation may still be a little bit, but it is really difficult to make up for what has been pulled down.

Ji Wan patted her on the shoulder: "You are just a student, it's normal to be nervous about the exam like everyone else, don't be afraid. You don't have to read the whole textbook, just grasp the knowledge you should master in the exam syllabus."

Listening, Meng Buqing slowly calmed down.

Not because of how comforting her words were.

It's her very existence.

"Okay, I'll do my best."

—

The sky was gray, and the time for the morning class hadn't arrived yet, and there were already a few people sitting in the auditorium.Last night, Meng Buqing contacted several high-grade academic masters, and took the time to help her answer questions.

As a result of staying up late to study, there were two dark circles under her eyes with a bad complexion on her pretty face.

Zuo Xiaoyun yawned and said, "Come on, you have a good foundation, and if you work hard, you will definitely be in the top ten."

"Please don't talk nonsense with your eyes closed," Meng Buqing said with a bitter face, "It sounds like a mockery."

Zuo Xiaoyun's tender little face was full of helplessness: "Don't be discouraged, it's just a midterm exam, so there's nothing difficult about it. We have so many people teaching you, you can be in the top ten on average!"

Her own mathematical analysis was a perfect score last semester.

"That's right, what are you afraid of? I'll fill up your knowledge points later, and you'll be able to improve your computing skills after a little bit of practice." The girl who spoke was called Li Yawen, and she was the second person to get a perfect score in the test.

Such a difficult exam is still a subject that Meng Buqing is good at. She tried her best to get a passing grade.Most of the students who studied all night in the class failed their subjects.

There are still two people who are getting full marks in the exam.

The gap between people is greater than that between people and dogs.

"..."

Meng Buqing rolled her eyes, propped her head on her left hand, and focused all her attention on the formulas in the copied handouts.There was no time to ask them to change that understated tone.

There was still a while before class, and people came to the classroom one after another.

Meng Buqing's private tutoring time is over.

"I'll treat you to dinner later," Zuo Xiaoyun whispered, "The previous scholarship has already been sent to the card, let's go eat something good!"

Meng Buqing said weakly: "Okay, I will kill you."

"Okay, so what do you want to eat?"

Meng Buqing said: "It's all right, I don't have extra brain capacity to think about it."

"Then we-"

Zuo Xiaoyun was about to say something.

He was interrupted by a voice behind him, "Yunyun, we are going to eat Japanese food later, do you want to go together?"

"Ah?" Zuo Xiaoyun turned his head, saw several of his roommates, and hurriedly said, "No, no, no."

"Why not? Didn't you just get a scholarship, take it and eat something good."

Zuo Xiaoyun sneered and said, "Forget it."

"Forget it anyway," the leading girl folded her arms and said condescendingly, "You don't want to send money home again, do you?"

"I'm sorry," Meng Buqing turned sideways, leaning her elbow on Zuo Xiaoyun's right shoulder. She raised her eyes and said with a sleepy tone, "I've booked this person in advance today."

"...Oh, so you have already made an appointment."

The girls nodded and quickly found a seat and sat down without further entanglement.Waiting for class.

"What's the matter," Meng Buqing asked in a low voice, "You have only received such a small scholarship, and they are still thinking about asking you to treat me?"

"no."

Zuo Xiaoyun shook his head, obviously hesitant to speak, but he still didn't speak.

"What's the matter?" Meng Buqing put down his pen, leaned his face on the table and looked up at her, and said in a hoarse and dry voice with half of his body buried in the loess, "I don't have the energy to play guessing games, so tell me everything quickly."

Zuo Xiaoyun was inexplicably amused by her tone.

After laughing, he pursed his lips and said, "I should have told you about this."

Meng Buqing said lightly, "Yes."

Zuo Xiaoyun also lay on the table, stuck very close to her, and said in a breathy voice: "My mother is not my real mother."

Meng Buqing controlled the expression of surprise not to show on his face, and continued to "hmm".

"and then?"

"It's nothing...in fact, I wanted to hide it from everyone. A few days ago, I accidentally told Cheng Jiawen that I had leaked it, and then everyone in our dormitory knew about it."

Meng Buqing rolled his eyes, recalled what they said just now, and roughly guessed some reasons.

Zuo Xiaoyun's voice was very low, her long eyelashes drooped, and her face lying on her side was half-dark, "Then, they all said that I shouldn't send money home, and I should think about myself, and plan for myself earlier."

"..."

"They said that my mother's small favors to me are just to make me grow up to be devoted to them, and they want to suck my blood. They say that I am already being sucked, but they don't feel it yet."

Meng Buqing observed her expression, "You don't agree with what they said at all."

"Well, when I was about three or four years old, my mother divorced my father... No, they didn't get a certificate at all. My mother was with my father when I was working at the age of 16. I was born by accident and raised me. After more than half a year, she finally packed up her things and left while it was dark."

Before the woman left, she carefully packed away her belongings and half of the family's savings, and blocked all the contact information of the man, leaving only one daughter behind.The man couldn't get through the phone, and it didn't occur to him to look for it.

The two of them met each other while working outside, and lived together as partners.

He is a rough man who doesn't know how to take care of children, so he sent his daughter back to his hometown to be raised by his elderly parents.A few years later, I saved enough money, and the family made arrangements to help arrange a blind date.

After meeting a few times, they got married after negotiating the dowry money.

Zuo Xiaoyun finally had a mother again.

Zuo Xiaoyun said: "The year my father fell ill and died, I was just seven years old and my sister was born. The already poor family became even poorer and poorer. My grandfather's family refused to take me in, and they refused to give me living expenses."

Meng Buqing listened silently, her throat slipped, and the emotion of surprise spread in her heart.

She always thought that Zuo Xiaoyun was a girl who had a complete family and was cared for and loved by the elders.After all, she was so slender and frail, she would blush nervously when talking to strangers.

"Your stepmother raised you?"

"Ah."

"She must have been nice to you."

"Well," Zuo Xiaoyun recalled, "Actually, my mother was in the same village as her. For a while, she was really short of money. She asked my mother to return to the village when she asked me to act in a play to sell poor money, and said Buy me candied haws when you arrive. I still remember that day..."

That day, early in the morning, she carried a bamboo basket and went to her grandmother's house in the south of the city to hunt pigweed. She wandered around until it was getting dark and didn't meet anyone.

The stepmother came to her, and after asking her clearly, she deliberately scolded her for beating so much all day long.

With her loud voice, she quickly yelled and a circle of people surrounded her.

Zuo Xiaoyun's mother was finally called out by the spectators.

She walked over and saw that in the bamboo basket on her back, only half of the basket of pigweed had been huddled in the whole day-half of the basket was full of weeds, and then she looked at the little girl's hands, which were white and tender.

In winter, my hands are so clean that I don't even have chilblains, so I know that I don't work on weekdays.

She crossed her arms and said leisurely to her stepmother: Girl, you should spank if you are lazy.

Zuo Xiaoyun's stepmother was stunned for a long time.He kicked her on the bamboo basket and yelled loudly.

My mother watched coldly from the side.

The little girl knew she was acting, but she was so frightened that she cried.In her heart-piercing crying, it was the stepmother who couldn't hold back first, bent down, and hugged her into her arms, rubbing and coaxing her.

"Money, of course, I didn't ask for a penny." Zuo Xiaoyun suddenly choked up a little, and she tried to hold back her tears and said steadily, "Then my stepmother hugged me and went home angrily. On the way back, she still bought me money." I got two candied haws."

Seeing this, Meng Buqing touched her pocket, ready to hand her a tissue at any time.

"Actually, when I grow up, when I think back, asking for money at that time should be a lie to me. In fact, I wanted my mother to pick me up. Who knew that I wandered in front of their house for a whole day, but I didn't even get in. "

Speaking of this, Zuo Xiaoyun didn't cry, but smiled foolishly, "She couldn't help it, so she took me back again."

Just keep it like this.

During the Chinese New Year, my stepmother bought new clothes for my younger sister, but I didn’t have enough money to buy another one.She looked at Zuo Xiaoyun with caution and guilt in her eyes.

The following year, the factory raised wages by more than a hundred yuan, and finally was able to save some money.She immediately brought a brand new down jacket like a treasure, saying, this one is from a famous brand, and it is more expensive than my sister's before.

Meng Buqing asked in a low voice, "Has she always paid for your tuition?"

"Well," Zuo Xiaoyun nodded and said, "Because of my good grades, I was signed by a key high school in the province very early. She didn't know at the time that this was a class with free board and lodging fees."

"..."

"She turned pale when she heard that high school tuition fees cost so much money, but she didn't say a word of objection. After dinner in the evening, she went out alone, went to relatives in the whole village, and borrowed money from house to house. , she borrowed everything she could... a total of 620 yuan."

Zuo Xiaoyun's eyelashes trembled, tears fell, and immediately buried her face in her elbows, wiping away the tears on her face.Pause for a moment to adjust your tone.

She turned her face again and asked Meng Buqing calmly:

"You said, is this a small favor?"

Meng Buqing's eyes were complicated, and he took out a tissue and said expressionlessly: "After listening to you, I'm going to cry. If my mother becomes very poor one day, she might just sell me to traffickers for a few banknotes." .”

Zuo Xiaoyun laughed "puchi", half crying and half laughing: "You're teasing me again!"

Meng Buqing pursed her lips, noncommittal.

The school bell rings.

Professor Gao Liangfei, a master-level mathematician, walked in with a tattered computer bag.There are only three decayed hairs on his head, which are still ceremoniously pomaded and combed back.

Zuo Xiaoyun stared at the professor's hairstyle in amazement, and said to Meng Buqing: "Professor Gao said before, let us always remember our original intention of choosing mathematics...do you have it?"

Meng Buqing said "hmm" slowly.

While the professor was still on the computer.

Zuo Xiaoyun continued to gossip: "That's great. I just think the Poincaré conjecture is very interesting, but I never thought I could be Perelman. I never had any mathematical dreams."

"I never had a dream, and then your grade point is firmly in the top five of your major." Meng Buqing took out the paper, lowered his head and blew his nose and said, "I'm going to cry all this pack of tissues."

Hearing this, Zuo Xiaoyun smiled with eyes like crescent moons, "My grades are better than yours, but you must be more promising than me in the future! After all, you are so good in every aspect!"

Meng Buqing: "..."

The friend filter is really strong.

Zuo Xiaoyun said in a low voice: "I'm just a very worthless person. I just want to find a stable salary with a good salary after graduation. I can buy gold bracelets for my stepmother, and many little nympho-like bracelets for my younger sister." Princess dress. This is the whole reason why I am willing to study hard every day and stay in the library all night working hard."

The professor begins his lecture.

Both of them quickly opened the book, stared at the whiteboard, and prepared to listen carefully to the class.

Five or ten minutes passed with great difficulty.

The professor went out for a smoke.

Meng Buqing immediately fell face down on the spread handouts.

In the back seat, Zhang Anqi got up to go to the toilet, saw her table full of draft paper and notes as she passed by, and said in surprise: "Hey, are you already reviewing?"

"..."

Someone next to him answered, "Didn't you see the notice of the early exam in the group?"

"I see," Zhang Anqi was wearing black-rimmed glasses. Her grade point was fairly high, but she only scored [-]% in the math analysis test last semester, and everyone said that she took the test naked, "Oh my god, is it just me Didn't you study, it seems that I will definitely fail this time."

"..."

"Wow, you are all so serious."

Zhang Anqi was standing next to Meng Buqing, trying to get her handouts.

Meng Buqing pressed down violently, she straightened up, the pressure accumulated in her mind for a long time was churning nervously.Who doesn't know that she is hypocritical on the surface, secretly wishing to go to the bathroom with her handouts.

Poor eyes: "Didn't review, right? I'm sure I'm going to fail this time, right?"

Zhang Anqi said "hmm" involuntarily, "Why? Why don't others not love learning?"

"Okay," Meng Buqing nodded, and said with a sinister smile on his lips, "then let me tell you first, I have studied very seriously, so if you dare to do better than me this time, I will kill you .”

"..."

—

Ji Wan returns home.

She heard the sound of stewing soup in the kitchen, turned around, but didn't see Meng Buqing.

After changing my shoes, I just took off my coat.

Meng Buqing came out of the study in a hurry, went into the kitchen and turned off the gas stove, then turned back and said, "You are back."

"Well, I'm back," Ji Wan saw that she still had a pen in her hand, "Are you doing your homework?"

Meng Buqing followed her gaze and lowered his head before reacting, and put the pen aside: "Well, I studied hard, and the sky is dark."

Ji Wan said with a smile, "So hardworking."

"I can't help it," Meng Buqing said, curling her lips, "I made a bet with an annoying classmate today, and I must pass her in the midterm exam!"

Ji Wan: "Why do you like to bet with others so much, what is the bet?"

Meng Buqing looked serious, and after thinking for a few seconds, he weighed it and said, "If I bet that my score is lower than hers, I have to kill her."

Ji Wan: "..."

Ji Wan went to the kitchen to wash her hands, paused for a moment, and said in a slow tone: "Then you have to work hard, you can't kill people."

"Well, I'll do my best."

The meal was served, and the two of them sat at the dining table.

After taking a few mouthfuls of food, Meng Buqing stopped her chopsticks and stared at her thoughtfully.

His eyes were burning, and it was impossible to ignore them.

Ji Wan stopped her movements, and asked with a helpless smile, "Will you eat well just looking at me?"

Meng Buqing came back to her senses, stared at her, and said in a meaningful way: "Well, it's really pretty and delicious."

"..."

Ji Wan's eyes flickered, obviously embarrassed by her thick skin.

After a pause, "Do you want to say something?"

"I want to know your plan," Meng Buqing lowered his eyelashes, staring at the white rice grains in the bowl, and said in a normal tone, "Where are you going after I graduate?"

What Zuo Xiaoyun said to her today actually caused an uneasy storm in her heart.It turns out that a mother and daughter who have no blood relationship can be so close.

Meng Buqing was thinking about Ji Wan all the way after school.

I was also thinking about the special feeling I secretly had for her.Floating thoughts, sometimes feel happy, sometimes sober and cold.

After all, Ji Wan is only living with her temporarily.

The original not asking means not caring.Later, slowly, I became a little afraid to ask.It seems that once you ask, it will destroy your current life.

Ji Wan didn't speak, but stared at her face.

After a short pause, he lowered his eyes and said softly, "Why should I leave? As long as the landlord doesn't chase away the guests, I will live until I am 80 years old."

"Really?" Meng Buqing couldn't hide his surprise and excitement, "Don't you want to leave? You threatened me to sell the house early and leave with a share of the money! If you have no plan to leave, I will definitely not drive you away. "

"..."

Meng Buqing continued: "After all, I still need you to accompany me. Do you really have no plans for your future?"

The words stumbled.

The truth is not always easy to say.

Ji Wan smiled lightly and said, "Okay."

"What are you laughing at?" Meng Buqing stared at her, she was still talking about something serious, what did she mean by smiling so nicely all of a sudden, "I'm asking you, what are you thinking?"

"Any idea?" Ji Wan's eyes were gentle and bright, with a smile on her lips, "I think you are very cute, like a little flower."

"..."

Meng Buqing pursed her lips speechlessly.I felt that what she said was inexplicable, but also a little weird to laugh at.

Like little flowers?What an old, rags-to-riches compliment!

Ji Wan picked up the bowl and continued to eat quietly.

Few people know that the saffron that breaks out of the ground from the first thaw of ice and snow has a light purple color and elegant petals, but it actually has a very strong and pleasant aroma.

The flower language of crocus is: happy.

She looked exactly like the little girl in front of her.

Beautiful, warm, childish, and full of vitality, blooming in her barren world like a crocus.

Who needs whom more.

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