Youth Notes

Wen Ziqing!I must hate you!We must become enemies!right!enemy!Enemy!Enemy!Water and fire are incompatible!

very good!Things are going great!We have nothing to say!Fire when you touch it!I am hostile, you are full of suspicion, disgust and contempt!We loathe each other!

I want to scream, roll like a madman, hit the wall, kill myself!I was running around like a mad dog, and I wanted to cry, cry terribly.but I do not have!I laugh!Laugh like crazy!

Yes, as soon as I see you, I get irritable, my temper is so bad, I want to hurt you bloody and torn, and when I get angry, you become annoyed, and I get even more annoyed, and I keep acting ugly and neurotic... Ha Haha, do you believe it?One day when you were having dinner, you coughed and squatted on the ground and couldn't get up. I was so excited to see your "frog jumping"!Do you remember?One day I told you to get out, and you said angrily, "Get out! Are you afraid that I can't walk fast enough!" Then you walked away in a panic, and I laughed wildly for a long time that day!do you remember?One day you came to me happily, but I arrogantly ignored you, so you left with a sigh and despondently, I cursed viciously behind your back, I cursed you to fall on all fours at the door!Ha ha ha ha!Ha ha ha ha!

right!I curse you!Using the most ugly and vicious words, cursing non-stop, I don't allow myself to reflect, and I don't allow the other me to stand up and defend you!I don't allow my mind to turn a corner, nothing to block my anger and resentment!I insulted you in my heart, and then I despised myself!I turned out to be such a ghost!It turned out to be a demon with teeth and claws!Ah ha ha ha ha!Hehehe, I don't allow myself to reverse my thoughts for a second, no, no - I want to curse with all my heart, do my best, and use all my talents to curse!Ho ho ho, hate is better than hopeless love!10,000+ times faster!

I repress, I repress!I want to release!freed!freed!I'm gonna tear myself apart, ask Ray to blow it up!It exploded loudly!Flesh and blood splattered everywhere!The sea - I adore you!Desert - I adore you!Raiden - I adore you!Dynamite - I adore you!Erupting volcanoes—rushing magma—everything turbulent and exploding—everything!I admire you!Get me out of my wits!Hunfeiposan - Hunfeiposan!And then, unrepressed, fully released, comfortably, quietly, die.I, I, I am not Wei Chen, I am no longer Wei Chen!I am not anymore!I became a badass!Big devil! ——I often long for something to happen, as if I am afraid that the world will not be chaotic.I hate tranquility, I can't stand tranquility, when I hear others say that I am quiet, elegant and quiet, I feel ruthless in my heart: hum!What a joke!You were all fooled by me!I am a war madman!I'm killing, looting and looting every day, doing all kinds of evil!I love madness and cruelty!Love the madman Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights!Love the horrific battle scenes!Love tsunamis and landslides!I am an iron devil and fierce ghost with a gentle and quiet appearance!

I was insane, I didn't have a moment of peace, my thoughts went back and forth, and I was hysterical with myself every day.Anything tragic excites me, and I don't know which of my senses it satisfies, which of my strange and terrible nerves.I imagined that I was a god possessed by a devil, subverting the entire human being and the entire universe, and using the most cruel and vicious methods to make human beings kill each other, making their blood flow into rivers and flesh into pulp. Laughing like hell.I imagine the afterlife as a very attractive man who travels all over the world, seduces all the infatuated women, and leaves when he drives their love crazy, leaving all the damned women to cry miserably Love, weeping for their lost hearts.I shall smile at all this with joyful cruelty.I want to command all the volcanoes to erupt at the same time. All the volcanoes are like Guan Yunchang’s knife in the stomach. Together with me, vanish into ashes.

I laughed, laughed wantonly, died while laughing, laughed while dying!

"I'm not fit to eat, I've always been bad, and now I'm getting worse. You should throw me out or kill me. My parents are stupid, they shouldn't have married, and I wouldn't have Will come to this world where black and white are turned upside down. My parents should have thrown me in the well as soon as I was born. I want to leave home, so I married a farmer that I don't like, and everything in my house is a mess , everything is neat and tidy here.” The self-report of a lunatic in Freud’s "Desperation of the Soul", compared with me, she is far behind...

I am disgusting to Wen Ziqing. I am changing from a person to a ghost. All the ugly, narrow, dirty, despicable thoughts and words are fermenting in my heart. Not only am I living shamelessly like a dog, but also Like a butcher, he killed himself to the ground, in a mess.Why do I have to live like this!