are you a clown

"That said, I really don't treat me as an outsider. There is also a saying that there is no filial son in front of Jiu's bed. No one can say what will happen in the future. I think it is good to have a clear conscience in this regard, but there is no need Excessively demanding on yourself." Ma Tiantian was quite understanding at this time.

"Excessive... The definition of this standard is really vague."

"Isn't it because everyone has different standards for likes and dislikes? As far as I know about zero times three, you don't have any clear likes and dislikes, right? No matter what kind of behavior you do , I don't find it surprising."

"Oh? Sister Tiantian, what do you think I can do that will surprise people?" Hearing what Ma Tiantian said, Lin Chensan felt that it would be no harm to listen.

"If you want to make an analogy, you can make such an assumption. If one of our parents suddenly suffers from a terminal illness, such as a type of cancer, the cost of the operation is 50. If it is an ordinary person, I will not say 100% Well, at least half of the people will choose to have surgery even if they lose their fortunes, and the other half want to have surgery for various reasons, but they can’t. , you just give up the treatment."

More than half of this is too taken for granted and optimistic.Lin Chensan couldn't help thinking this way, but now she wants to answer the question: "No."

"Ok?"

"It's better to say that when you compare me with them, all the answers you can get about me are wrong."

"They? What happened to them?"

"They really see their parents as their parents, and I don't."

Ma Tiantian was confused: "No? Can you still see your parents as something else?"

Lin Chensan didn't answer but instead asked: "Don't talk about anything else, if one day I get terminally ill, such as a type of cancer, Sister Tiantian, can you choose to go bankrupt to save me?"

"My analogy is not appropriate, but your analogy is not very good..." Ma Tiantian muttered softly.

"Just tell me if you can."

"Of course you can't. It's not like you don't know that talking about money hurts feelings between friends. Even if you ask me to borrow a few hundred yuan at this time, I will think about it for a long time."

"My relationship with them is not as good as my relationship with you. I will pay, but it must be within the scope of my ability. It is not impossible to lose my family. After all, I do owe them a lot in terms of money, but I’m going to borrow something, I’m sure I can’t do it. Then, I have to take shit and pee, and serve me carefully, don’t even think about it, I’m sure it’s hard to do.”

"Then what do you regard your parents as? Enemies?"

"It's a stranger under the same roof."

"But is it really possible to completely regard parents as strangers?" Ma Tiantian is skeptical about this, "Sometimes I also quarrel with them, and every time I quarrel, I think that no matter what, I will not quarrel again Yes, but really as long as you touch the top, you will still be noisy if you should, and you can't control yourself at all."

"Yes, it is very difficult, so I have been working hard to achieve this." Lin Chensan smiled, "It is necessary to break the identity setting that they are my parents, if they are only regarded as being under the same roof You don’t have to trust them and then be disappointed, you don’t want to gain a sense of value recognition from them to shape yourself, and you don’t have to choose tit-for-tat when they express their incomprehension and try to oppress others in hysteria.”

"It can be treated as usual, and there will be no ideological burden when communicating."

What Lin Chensan said is an ideal state.In fact, she didn't say the colder thing. The state of her relationship with her parents is worse than that of strangers under the same roof. A better way to say it is "job burnout". After working in a job for a long time, it is nothing Positive feedback is repetitive and uncreative. It’s hard not to let people feel tired about it. Lin Chensan said earlier that 'going to work is like going to a grave'.The ugly ones are called 'depersonalization' or 'dehumanization'. To put it in plain English, it means not treating people as human beings.Although the object of Lin Chensan who doesn't treat people as people is often herself...

Everyone often has such times, for example, when encountering some embarrassing situations, you will imagine yourself as a seam somewhere, or regard the group of people in front of you as Chinese cabbages and carrots.It's as if I won't be nervous anymore.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with doing this at work. For a profession like a doctor, not treating people as people can even be said to be a kind of professionalism.

Lin Chensan remembered very well the reason why the deputy chief physician refused to buy insurance: "For serious illnesses, one copy is enough. Like cancer, except for a very small number, the recurrence rate is too high. Don't talk about five years of survival, half a year is counted. Not bad, and after the operation, most of the working ability will be lost, and the family needs to take care of it collectively. The income ratio is too low. Generally, I don’t recommend my patients to have surgery after receiving the insurance compensation. It’s better to take the money Go out and play with your family."

The tone was relaxed, natural, and straightforward, as if to say 'The money spent on playing with the family is not life-saving money'.

When the deputy chief physician calmly explained the current status of the cancer cure rate to her in professional terms like 'five-year survival rate', Lin Chensan, a fresh graduate who knew little about the hospital, was in shock for a long time. Come to yourself.According to her idea, every patient sent to the hospital expects the answer from the doctor is definitely not the case, they should still hold hope, and even lie on the hospital bed with a smile on their faces.But in the eyes of their doctors, they are no different from dead people?

It can also be said that the deputy chief physician is mainly in internal medicine, and it is not his turn to do surgeries, so he has no right to speak. However, after that, Lin Chensan discovered in many professions that "not treating people as people" has become a common practice in the industry. There is a subtle rule in it.

For example, Chen Xiaofeng said that players are cheap, and you usually take good care of them, but they don’t take anything away, but once they turn cold faces and change positions, they will charge up money one by one faster than robbing a bank.For many games nowadays, there are ready-made examples to follow.Because the theory of krypton gold sow, weak and soft has already been discussed a lot, so I won't talk about it here.

She doesn't treat her parents as adults, and the game operator regards gamers as mentally handicapped. Is there any difference in essence?Please don’t get me wrong, as stated above, Lin Chensan’s words do not contain any derogatory connotations, but just matter-of-fact, as a precocious, honest, boring child who lacks creativity and imagination, if she doesn’t want to chase Parents never keep their eyes on themselves and keep running, so they can only do this.

In other words, there must be emotional transmission in the real interaction between two people. If she wants to identify with the plight of her parents' generation, she will not be able to completely separate herself from that situation.

To be honest, Lin Chensan didn't want to do this at first, but too much flesh and blood concern would affect his rational judgment. After sensibility overwhelmed rationality, the development of the situation would easily overwhelm the surrounding environment and each other. After the relationship she maintained was ruined to a mess, she had to be squeezed into this fast lane.

Socialized high division of labor and repetitive non-creative labor lead to human alienation.Lin Chensan thinks this sentence is very correct.

When Lin Chensan was in junior high school, she lived on campus and went home once a week. Every time her mother came to pick her up, she would say, "Why is she so sad again? Look at how good-looking your classmates are when they smile. They are so happy." It seems that it is not normal for her to be unhappy when others are happy.

Later, when she dropped out of high school, her father stopped her for the same reason: "Everyone else's children go to school, what do you think you can do if you don't go to school?" At that time, she thought it was because her father was not good at words. It’s good to reveal my heart. In fact, reading is a manifestation of valuing my daughter.Now that I think about it, what was going on? It was because the intellectuals had a good face and didn’t want to do something special so she didn’t go to school—she didn’t even care about filling out the volunteers for the college entrance examination.

If society is compared to a big machine, all companies, factories, and units are made up of large and small gears.

As a part of the micro-gear, the family is actually similar, right?It's just that the assembly lines of those factories produce products, while on their side, they produce 'children' who don't even know who they are as adults.

What kind of person will such a child eventually grow up to be, and what kind of life will he have?Is it important?It may be important, it may be a little important, and it may not be important at all... The answer to this is different from person to person.

What I said here may be a bit too far. Lin Chensan has a lot of inner drama, and her views on her parents are not consistent at different times, but she is clear about one thing. She does not want to use this to criticize anyone or refute No one, she has no so-called cynical habits or ideals, if she wants to tell anyone, parents should love their children, and children should respect and love their parents.After all, there are many parents who realize that they don't really like their children that much after they officially gave birth to a child. There are also children in this world whose parents feel uncomfortable because they are too close to them.

In the final analysis, not treating parents as human beings is also to better look at problems from a third-person perspective, and to deal with problems in getting along with parents can be more harmonious, normal and efficient.From this point of view, although Lin Chensan hasn't been home for two consecutive years, as long as she creates a legitimate reason for not going back, her parents won't say much.

Or to put it another way: one day they start to realize that their child is really a living, flesh-and-blood person, will they know how to raise this child to be like this?