Princess Love Story
Chapter 32
My name is Chen Ran, and I am the daughter of the village head of Chenjiacun. Chenjiacun is a small town in the south of the Yangtze River. The town is so small that I didn't really understand what a small place is until I saw the grandeur of the capital.
I knew that my father was a very talkative person in the town, but even so, when everyone found out that my mother had leprosy, he still couldn't persuade the villagers to let her go, and as the village head, he had to bear the responsibility He took up the responsibility of protecting the villagers, so he ordered my mother and me to be sent to leprosy, but he himself committed suicide on the day we left because he felt guilty.
The mother kept saying, "My son, it is the mother who is sorry for you. The mother should not have given birth to you and made you suffer."
At that time, Niangqin's body had already started to fester, and almost half of the people in the leprosy town lay dying, their bodies were bleeding pus, and maggots were even crawling on unattended wounds.
I curled up in a corner, watching the dying people being carried out one by one, and then burned and buried.There is a man who is still alive. When I saw him being carried away, he moved his lips and said to me, "I don't want to die." But, even if he shed tears, even if he didn't want to die, but Still, he was thrown into the pit full of corpses and full of corpse smell, and then the leader took the torch from the side with a blank expression, and the torch burned to his heart's content. There is a strange light glowing under it.
The wail was remembered at the moment when the torch was thrown into the pit. I never wanted to think about it, but such a desperate wail that yearned for hope from others appeared in my dreams time and time again.
Nightmare has never left.
In Leprosy Town, the lives and deaths of people are like animals that are ready to be slaughtered. They have no power to fight back, and those who do it have long been numb to their lives and deaths.
"However, you have to leave here." When my mother was so sick that she no longer had the strength to speak, she threw the last sentence she said at me.
Later, she was carried away.
Even though she was still breathing, she opened her eyes and looked at me with tears in her eyes, but she didn't say a word.
I quietly followed the crowd, walked to the pit again, watched my mother being thrown into it heavily, watched them throw the torch into it, watched the flames suddenly filled with realization, watched...
Mother didn't howl like others, she didn't even make a hum when she was completely burned.
I squatted next to the pit and watched the fire burn out. There were some broken bones and off-white powder scattered in the pit, and I couldn't tell which belonged to my mother and which belonged to other people.
I looked at the pit and kept thinking about a question.
At some point, I would be ruthlessly thrown in like this, and then burned to a handful of ashes, and since then I have been sleeping in this pit where an unknown number of dead souls have accumulated.
I do not want.
I don't want to be like this, I don't want to die like this, I don't want to die so wronged.
So I tried my best to take advantage of the night to sneak over the back mountain and climb over the mountain wall to find a way out.
Many people have traveled that road, or many people who want to leave Leprosy Town have passed by, but in the end, how many people have passed by, but no one knows.
I looked up and down the abyss, the only way out for this town.
Is life better than death or just jump off?
I chose the latter without hesitation, after all, the latter still has a little chance of life, and the former... I can't stand it anymore.
I don't know if it's lucky or unfortunate.
I fell off the cliff, not too heavy because I was still young, and ended up stuck on a tree trunk at the bottom of the cliff.The merchants who passed by here rescued me and gave me clothes and food.
I was full of gratitude, "I don't know what kind of business these uncles do?" After waking up, I drank the medicinal soup they sent, and asked curiously.
At that time, they looked at each other and smiled without saying a word.
I should have guessed it, but in the end it was an oversight.
They are businessmen who specialize in selling children and women. They picked me up on the road and saw that my injuries were not serious, and they could sell me for more money, so they reluctantly bought me two soups.
I thought, that's okay, at least I survived.
At night, when I rolled up my sleeves and looked at the pink spots on my body, I knew very well that they had been there since I was a child. My mother said it was a birthmark, but now she knew that it was a sign of leprosy.
I only hope that God will give me another chance to see the outside world, no matter whether I have been trafficked or not, in short, don’t let me go back to the cave of the living dead that is already indifferent to life and death.
Being trafficked into children, almost everyone cries every day. I am used to this, and I just choose to be indifferent.
Later, I found a girl, she was wearing light yellow clothes, she seemed to be from a family, she was sitting in the corner, with a pair of big watery eyes, looking at everything around her.
I don't know if it was because of fear or something else, but she was the only one who didn't cry with me.
She said, "My name is Qingying. I have no parents and no home since I was a child, so they gave me a good dress and I left with them. Sister, what's wrong with being sold? "
What she said was obviously wrong, but it was hard for me to refute it.
I also think there is nothing wrong with being sold, after all, life and death can still be chosen by oneself.
The two of us just leaned on each other, bumping along the way, not knowing where we were going.
In short, it made no difference to either of us where we went.
Qingying likes to curl up in a corner at night, so I slept outside her, fearing that she would be kicked accidentally when someone passed by and would wake her up.She said she had no home, and I happened to have neither, so I recognized her as my younger sister, and I wanted to treat her well.
From the spring day in the south of the Yangtze River to the beginning of summer, I don't know how long it has been.
That day, I woke up as usual, and then I saw a red figure outside by the window.
The woman was a little older than me, tall and thin, with a simple but hard-to-look appearance, of course the most eye-catching thing was the red dress.
The man didn't know what he was talking to the traffickers, he seemed to be talking about the price, maybe he wanted to buy a few girls.Seeing her take out the silver and hand it to the trafficker, I walked back quietly, sat beside Qingying, and carefully pushed her awake.
"Shhh." I pulled her to the corner, for fear that the woman would separate the two of us when he picked her up.
For some reason, before I met Qingying, I felt that it was irrelevant to where and to whom I was sold, but now I feel that if I want to separate me from her, it might be worse than killing me. I'm sad.
Unsurprisingly, the woman came in after the traffickers. The red gauze was so eye-catching in the dirty room.
"Girl, pick whatever you want."
The traffickers are very attentive, and it seems that the money given must be quite a lot.
The woman glanced around the crowd, and many people who were still asleep were kicked awake by the traffickers one by one. They rubbed their eyes dimly and scanned the surroundings, and finally fixed their eyes on the woman. I also understood what was going on.
"The two of them." The woman glanced at everyone hastily, and finally stretched out her fingers to Qingying and me.
I froze and looked at her with some puzzlement.
She grew very quickly, her bright eyes were slightly bent, as if she was smiling, but her eyes were cold.
"The two of them?" The trafficker took two steps forward and turned his head once again with certainty.
At that moment, I saw a smile on the woman's face, she was really smiling, the corners of her lips were drawn high, but there was no smile in her eyes.
She is such a strange person.
When the human trafficker was about to walk towards me and Qingying after getting the accurate answer, the woman suddenly stretched out her hand, with five fingers spread, and walked towards the human trafficker's neck.
I quickly covered Qingying's eyes, she shook and asked "what's the matter?" I didn't dare to make a sound, I just looked at the woman.
After the woman broke the trafficker's neck, she looked at all of us indifferently, and then showed a disdainful smile, "Let's go."
Without much words, she turned and left.
The door that was supposed to imprison us was wide open like that, without anyone blocking it, it was like a dream.
After the woman left, the people around her gradually started to move. Some of them walked out boldly, and ran out crying when they found that no one was guarding them.
"Sister, we..." Qingying looked at me timidly.
I saw the expectation in her eyes, she wanted me to give her an answer about the future, but I couldn't give it.
Before, we muddled along, waiting for the day when we would be taken away and sold, but now when freedom comes, we suddenly don't know what to do.
What's more, we have no family, we only have each other.
I sat there thinking for a long time, and when I came back to my senses, Qingying had already stood up and turned around in the already empty room.
"What is this?" Qingying picked up something from the ground and handed it to me. It was a simple-looking hairpin.
"It belongs to that person just now." I held the hairpin in my hand. All the belongings of the people in this room have been searched since the day they were arrested, so it cannot be theirs.
Just when I was thinking about whether to give this thing to that person or to find a place to change some money by myself, the door that was originally wide open was suddenly blocked by a figure.
"That's my thing."
That was the first sentence she said to me. I turned my head and passed the hairpin over.
She carefully put the hairpin into her sleeve, then looked at me and said, "This trafficker is dead, why don't you two leave?"
"When he was alive, we still had something to eat, but now that he's dead, we can't even eat." I glanced at the corpse on the ground, "Both of us have no home, so where else can we go? ?”
"That's what you said." She laughed, this time for real, smiling with her eyes covered and her mouth covered, "Don't you two have a place to go?"
"Yeah." I replied, and Qingying nodded repeatedly.
"Then follow me." She looked at me, and after looking at me, she just pursed her lips, "I lack two girls by my side, if you have nowhere to go, follow me."
She said that she was going back to Beijing, and returned to a big prison in the capital.
Then I finally knew that the big cage she was talking about was the imperial palace in the capital, and she was the elder sister of the current emperor, the eldest princess of the current dynasty—Li Ruo.
"I gave you a name." Sitting in the eldest princess's mansion, Li Ruo held a pen in his hand and wrote a few words on the paper, "Her name is Qing Ying, so you can be called Hong Xing."
I looked at the name on the paper, was slightly dazed, and then laughed. "Thank you, master."
She gave me my name and gave me everything. She was like a fairy from the other side who came to the world to save all beings.
Some people think she is a devil, but I don't.
She is my master, my eldest princess.
After living in the eldest princess's mansion for a period of time, I gradually became familiar with it, but I still have considerations in my heart. Every time I roll up my sleeves and look at the red spots that become more and more clear, I become more and more worried.
I don't know if I should stay here, maybe I'm a little greedy, greedy for the comfort in the eldest princess's mansion, greedy for the feeling of having Qingying and the eldest princess by my side, greedy for...
"It's so late, what are you doing sitting in the yard?" The Eldest Princess appeared in the yard at some unknown time, I turned my head and saw the thin and thin woman appearing behind me under the faint moonlight.
"Master." She has always been so indifferent, just like when she killed people that day, everything seems to leave no trace in her eyes, and no one seems to have any ripples in her heart.
"The cold dew is heavy this night, even if you want to sit here, you still have to wear some clothes." While speaking, the Eldest Princess took advantage of the opportunity to sit next to me, which surprised me a bit.
"Red apricot." The eldest princess called me, and I responded with a nod of "hmm".
"Qingying said that she had no parents since she was a child, so she begged for a living with those homeless people. What about you? What was your past like?"
This is what I am most afraid of, I am afraid of being asked about the past, I am afraid that others will know my past, and I am even more afraid of recalling the past.
I don't know how bad the expression on my face was at that time, anyway, after a long time, the eldest princess sighed helplessly, "If you don't want to say it, then don't say it."
The eldest princess treats me very well, but not only to me, but also to Qingying.
Qingying has a more lively personality, and within a few days she gets along very warmly with everyone in the house. Faced with her mischief, the eldest princess always turns a blind eye, while I always turn a blind eye to her mischief. Take it upon yourself to help her with everything.
I like the feeling that everyone is like a family.
That long-lost warmth.
Not long after, the Eldest Princess asked me to study medicine with someone, and I was very willing, as long as the Eldest Princess asked me to do it, I was willing to do it, and I did my best to do it.
I don't know what this kind of emotion is called, I think it is gratitude, I am full of gratitude to the eldest princess, after all, I have everything I am today because of her.
I went to the Valley of Divine Medicine, where it is like spring all the year round, and the whole valley is full of herbs that I couldn't name at that time.
There lived a man named Zhuge Jun in the Valley of Miraculous Doctors. He was fat, just like the Maitreya Buddha that was usually placed in the temple.
He is a very powerful person, because he knew my illness after meeting me once.
He said, "Your disease was brought from your mother's womb. I have medicine to try to suppress the disease in your body, but don't contact those who have already developed the disease. At that time, the disease that was suppressed will become more serious." serious, you know?"
After this incident, Zhuge Jun's view of excellent medical skills took root in my heart.
Seeing that the erythema on my body gradually faded, Zhuge Jun gave me a few more needles, and I sat there with my hair full of silver needles, shaking my head and reciting medical techniques.
Sometimes when Zhuge Jun came back from collecting herbs, seeing my absent-minded appearance, he would pull out a silver needle and stab it fiercely at my laughing acupoint.
"Fatty man, you sneaked up on me." I smiled like that, and relieved the only burden in my heart, and suddenly I found myself laughing more and more.
Several times, when the eldest princess came to visit me, she would say the same thing, "Hongxing, you are getting more and more beautiful."
I don't know why, but when I hear the eldest princess praise me so much, I blushed and lowered my head.
The heartbeat is very fast, I have never had that feeling, I don’t know what that feeling is called, I just know that I am looking forward to that person to visit me more and more, looking forward to being in that blue-yellow The bright red figure appeared on the hillside, and I hope more and more...
Every time she left, I would sit on the top of the hill and watch the carriage go away.I don't know why, every time the eldest princess leaves, it is at night. I sit on the top of the mountain and enjoy the wind, and I am extraordinarily awake, so I can stare at the direction she left for a long time.
"Damn girl, I asked you to pick herbs, why did you pick half of them?"
Zhuge Jun would always jump around for no reason, I looked at him, a little puzzled, "What half, I have already picked a basket of herbs."
"Heh." Zhuge Jun sneered and picked up the herbs in the back basket, "I mean half of the herbs-grass! Tell me, why haven't you clearly distinguished grass from herbs after teaching for so long..." said He said, and rolled his eyes annoyed, "It's really annoying."
Sometimes I find it very strange why Zhuge Jun is able to say "Hate!" without changing his face, pointing his orchid fingers up and coquettishly. This question has been lingering in my mind.
He said, "Damn girl, what do you know." As he spoke, he raised his orchid finger again, pointed at the tip of my nose and said, "I'm a style, do you understand a style?"
"don't know."
I don't understand a lot, such as why the master is so fat but so flexible, every time I fight against him, I always lose to him; also, why he promised the eldest princess to teach me medical skills, even though I am not familiar with medical skills There is no talent at all, he calls me stupid every day, but he still works tirelessly to teach me medical skills; why often, like me, he sits alone on the top of the mountain in a daze, is he missing someone?Who could it be?
"Damn girl, if you leave, I won't be used to it." One day, Zhuge Jun was sitting in the yard basking in the sun, and somehow mentioned this matter.
I thought about it, yes, I have lived in this valley for many years, if she leaves, she will be a little bit reluctant to part with this fat man who speaks sissy and flexible.
"Master, if I leave, will you be so thin that I can't recognize you when I come back?"
Zhuge Jun was stunned for a moment, then he pulled the bamboo pole beside me and hit me on the head, "Damn girl, master, am I not thin now?"
I didn't want to tell lies, so I finally chose not to speak.
The noisy days are finally over, the eldest princess took me back to Beijing, Zhuge Jun didn't even say a word of reluctance, and I left without even turning my head.
To say I don't want to, is really a little bit reluctant.But compared to being able to see the person you want to see every day, what is that bit of reluctance?
"Sister Hongxing." When I returned to the eldest princess's mansion, Qingying had grown into a big girl, she had lost her youthfulness and timidity, and she became more and more charming. Only then did I realize that the years have passed , I have also grown up.
"From now on, you will follow me."
I got my wish, but I was a little uneasy after all.
"Hongxing, the emperor chooses a concubine, are you willing to enter the palace?" On that day, the eldest princess pulled me into the study and asked softly.
The emperor chooses a concubine?Send me to the palace?
I have been with the eldest princess for a long time, and I know that the eldest princess has a lot of ideas in her heart. She has her plan, she has what she thinks should be done, and the right thing.
Although I was a little reluctant in my heart, I still said, "Everything is under the arrangement of the master."
That night, Qing Ying told me that the Eldest Princess also asked her the same thing, presumably the Eldest Princess was going to choose between Qing Ying and me to send to the harem.
I would like to, but I don't want to.
What I'm willing to do is to do anything for the eldest princess, but what I don't want is... I don't want to just leave her.
So I sat in the room with Qingying and talked all night, I tried to relieve the fear in my heart, I was afraid that when I opened my eyes tomorrow, the eldest princess would come and tell me to let me enter the palace.
"Sister Hongxing, look at our master, after so many years, it is still the same as before." Qing Ying lay on the bed and said to herself, "They said it was made from eating bird's nest." Qing Ying said Ying held her own face and said, "You said that without those nourishing things, in two years, I will become an old woman with a withered complexion, just like that Xiaocui at the pork stall."
Qingying is talking about a girl who is about our age at the pork stall. She has been doing business in the pork stall since she was a child. Naturally, her face is a little bit worse after being exposed to the wind and sun, but when I heard Qingying say this, I still couldn't help but sigh. laughed.
"What are you thinking about?"
After all, Qingying is a child. Apart from having fun every day, she studies clothes and tidying up. Seeing her current appearance, I really can't laugh or cry.
Later, the eldest princess decided to send Qingying to the palace.
Speaking of which, this result still makes me a little unhappy in my heart.
Not because of jealousy, but because Qingying entered the palace, so he couldn't see her often.I was also worried, afraid that her temper would cause trouble if she entered the palace.But seeing her innocently changing into new clothes, I could only shake my head with a wry smile, and said nothing more.
After all, Qingying is married, I helped her get dressed, and the eldest princess did her hair in person.
At that moment, I felt that a child had grown up suddenly.
When getting on the sedan chair, Qingying took my hand and asked me to take good care of the eldest princess, I said, "Don't worry, I will."
No one needs to tell me this, I will do it.
Without Qingying, the princess' mansion suddenly became much deserted.The eldest princess was often in a daze, and one day, she asked me, "Hongxing, do you feel that something is missing?"
I said, "Stop smiling, master hasn't smiled for several days."
I like to see the eldest princess laugh, that kind of smile from the heart.Every time, when she smiles, she will lick her lips, and then pull the corners of her lips, and every time she smiles, I feel as if I see the sun.
Although the eldest princess does not look like a warm person, her eyes are often covered with frost, but I know that there is a warmth in her heart that others cannot understand.
Every year, the eldest princess would lock herself in the study on the day of her mother's funeral.
I don't know what she was doing in there, but once when I passed by unintentionally, I seemed to hear sobs in a trance.
I have never seen the eldest princess cry, even when she fell off the horse and broke her leg, her eyes were not red, but now in a corner where there is no one, is she crying?
Thinking of this, I suddenly feel very distressed.
Later, it was reported in the palace that Qingying was pregnant, which really made me and the eldest princess laugh happily.In those few days, the eldest princess and I kept talking about whether the child born by Qingying would be as naughty as her. We all laughed as we talked.
At that time, Qing Ying, who always liked to jump around, suddenly became more peaceful, and gradually became like a mother.But no one would have thought that that day the queen, the eldest princess, and Qingying went to see the scenery together. I was afraid that the eldest princess would catch a cold, so I went to the coat in the carriage, but it was only for a short while, and when I went When they returned to the side of the mountain, they heard that Qing Ying and the queen fell off the cliff together.
Later, Qingying's child was gone, and what was more serious, the imperial doctor said that she would never have another child of her own in this life.
"Hong Xing, you said that I sent Qing Ying to the palace, did I do something wrong?"
The eldest princess never doubted herself, but that time she said such a thing.I wanted to comfort her, but when I thought of Qingying's despair after learning the truth, I suddenly lost my voice and couldn't say anything.
What if I was the one who entered the palace in the first place?Will everything be different?
I'd rather let me bear all the pain than...
Qing Ying lost her mind and gradually began to become unconscious.I know, I know that she has always wanted to have a family, and when she found out that she was pregnant, she was so happy.
At that time, she said, "Sister Hongxing, you know, it's the first time I feel so at ease, and I feel that life is very hopeful."
However, God always likes to play tricks on people like this.
All her hopes were cut off just like that, and she finally fell into despair.
"Hongxing, let's go." I visited again and again, but Qingying's situation has never improved. That day I saw disappointment on the princess's face, and she said, "Forget it. Let her go."
Afterwards, the days went on as usual day by day, and nothing changed because of Qingying.At that moment, the feeling of trying life and death to be normal many years ago once again hit my heart, and I suddenly became a little scared.
One day later, the eldest princess and I went to Baiyue City as promised, but I didn't expect to hear that Cang Liang was arrested by the emperor.So, the eldest princess and I had to change our itinerary and prepare to return to Beijing, but unexpectedly, we ran into that person while we were on our way.
That person is the second son of the great general. I have heard his name and his affairs, but I didn't expect that he would be her.
She was a woman, and her already thin body was made even thinner by the thick wrap around her chest.
I don't know what the eldest princess planned, I just helped Yin Rong treat the wound according to the order, and then...
There was only one vacant room in the inn in the town. Yin Rong was seriously injured and naturally wanted to sleep on the bed, and the eldest princess Guizi naturally wanted to sleep on the bed.
I have to say, when the eldest princess said that she would share the bed with Yin Rong, I felt a little uncomfortable in my heart.But that feeling was fleeting, and I quietly looked in the direction of the bed.
The thin bed curtain was lowered, and the shadow of the eldest princess could be vaguely recognized. She lay down slowly and fell asleep peacefully like that.
Just lying on the table like that, secretly looking at the direction of the bed, my heart was empty, and somehow a bad premonition flashed across me.
Then, everything seemed to go beyond expectations.
I followed the eldest princess's order and went back to find the master to get the medicine, but when I came back, I heard the news that the emperor had granted the eldest princess and Yin Rong a marriage.
At that moment, I felt a little dizzy, and everything was as unreal as a dream.
How is it possible that after only a few days away, the eldest princess is going to marry Yin Rong?Moreover, the eldest princess clearly knows that Yin Rong...
I am the slave and she is the master.
I am not qualified to ask too much, even if I am so eager to know the answer.
Yin Rong came to the house again and again, and I just looked at her, watching her approach the eldest princess step by step.I can't stop it, I have no reason to stop it, and I can't stop it.
I followed my duty to do my best, and I was afraid that if I did too much, or if I didn't do it well, it would cause the eldest princess' displeasure.
Her displeasure, even the slightest, would make me very uneasy.
Because of this, I began to tell myself that I knew I would not have it from the beginning, so how can I feel lost now?
But the world is unpredictable, Qing Ying is crazy, the Queen Mother intends to let me enter the palace.When the eldest princess finished all the words, my heart was extraordinarily peaceful.I thought I should feel disappointed, but unexpectedly, I just accepted the fact calmly.
I didn't lose anyone, what I lost was my own heart.
It was left somewhere by me, I can't find it, and I don't plan to look for it again.
The harem is as disgusting as I imagined. Apart from facing the emperor every day, there are a bunch of concubines who come out of nowhere.
I wandered among those people, listening to them say some very boring things, and remembering to help the eldest princess in my heart as before.Even if she told me that as long as I take care of myself, how could I do that?
Over the years, I've been trying to make her thing my own.Now, how can it change?
Day after day, the day when the eldest princess gets married is coming, I have no time to take care of it, because I found that the erythema on my body has gradually become clearer.
I'm starting to get sick.
Zhuge Jun told me not to contact those people with leprosy, but all this is beyond my control.There was a young eunuch in the palace who was suffering from leprosy. He had a relationship with me once, and this aspect took my life.
I knew that I was going to die, my body began to fester, and I would gradually become like the people in Leprosy Town back then, becoming neither human nor ghost.
I sealed myself in the room and didn't let anyone see my appearance. I thought that I could avoid the fact, but the fact... the fact is that the palace servant I took care of also suffered from leprosy.
I threatened her and coaxed her not to tell the story.
but……
In the end, the fire could not be covered with paper, the imperial doctor and guards broke open the door, and at that time I had no strength to resist.
Even if I didn't want to, at that time I was already ready to be thrown into a pit and burned to ashes.
And at that time, the person I hadn't seen for a long time appeared in front of me again. She appeared in my dreams again and again, but that time she actually appeared in front of me.
I wanted so much to step forward to hug her and express all the grievances in my heart, but when I opened my mouth, I just said lightly, "It's now, master shouldn't come to see me. "
I waited desperately for death, at least it was worth it for me to send me this journey.
And at that moment, I suddenly understood why my mother didn't make any sound when she was thrown into the fire pit.
Because I don't want the person I care about to feel more sorry for me, I don't want my pain to become a nightmare and become that person's pain, because...
"Hongxing, don't be afraid, take this medicine, and you'll be fine when you wake up."
Will it be all right?I pulled out the last laugh and swallowed the medicine with peace of mind.
Even if it's poisonous, it doesn't matter.
The moment I closed my eyes and fell asleep, I suddenly regretted that I didn't say what was in my heart before I died.
"Li Ruo, I like you." From the day she told me "If you don't want to say it, then don't say it.", she has fallen in love with you, but there will be no more chances...
Even if he doesn't ask for anything in return, but just wants to stay by her side, the chance to do something for her is already gone.
I clearly have so many things I want to say in my heart, but I have no chance.
Hot tears flowed down the corners of my eyes, and I couldn't believe the touch.
Do you still cry after you die?
"Damn girl, do you know that you almost died?"
A familiar voice sounded, could it be a dream?
"Damn girl, Li Ruo handed you over to me, saying that if I can't cure you, you will trample on my stomach. How can you do that?"
Master!
"Damn girl, can you wake up!"
The moment I opened my eyes, the bright sunlight hurt my eyes, and I... was still alive.
I knew that my father was a very talkative person in the town, but even so, when everyone found out that my mother had leprosy, he still couldn't persuade the villagers to let her go, and as the village head, he had to bear the responsibility He took up the responsibility of protecting the villagers, so he ordered my mother and me to be sent to leprosy, but he himself committed suicide on the day we left because he felt guilty.
The mother kept saying, "My son, it is the mother who is sorry for you. The mother should not have given birth to you and made you suffer."
At that time, Niangqin's body had already started to fester, and almost half of the people in the leprosy town lay dying, their bodies were bleeding pus, and maggots were even crawling on unattended wounds.
I curled up in a corner, watching the dying people being carried out one by one, and then burned and buried.There is a man who is still alive. When I saw him being carried away, he moved his lips and said to me, "I don't want to die." But, even if he shed tears, even if he didn't want to die, but Still, he was thrown into the pit full of corpses and full of corpse smell, and then the leader took the torch from the side with a blank expression, and the torch burned to his heart's content. There is a strange light glowing under it.
The wail was remembered at the moment when the torch was thrown into the pit. I never wanted to think about it, but such a desperate wail that yearned for hope from others appeared in my dreams time and time again.
Nightmare has never left.
In Leprosy Town, the lives and deaths of people are like animals that are ready to be slaughtered. They have no power to fight back, and those who do it have long been numb to their lives and deaths.
"However, you have to leave here." When my mother was so sick that she no longer had the strength to speak, she threw the last sentence she said at me.
Later, she was carried away.
Even though she was still breathing, she opened her eyes and looked at me with tears in her eyes, but she didn't say a word.
I quietly followed the crowd, walked to the pit again, watched my mother being thrown into it heavily, watched them throw the torch into it, watched the flames suddenly filled with realization, watched...
Mother didn't howl like others, she didn't even make a hum when she was completely burned.
I squatted next to the pit and watched the fire burn out. There were some broken bones and off-white powder scattered in the pit, and I couldn't tell which belonged to my mother and which belonged to other people.
I looked at the pit and kept thinking about a question.
At some point, I would be ruthlessly thrown in like this, and then burned to a handful of ashes, and since then I have been sleeping in this pit where an unknown number of dead souls have accumulated.
I do not want.
I don't want to be like this, I don't want to die like this, I don't want to die so wronged.
So I tried my best to take advantage of the night to sneak over the back mountain and climb over the mountain wall to find a way out.
Many people have traveled that road, or many people who want to leave Leprosy Town have passed by, but in the end, how many people have passed by, but no one knows.
I looked up and down the abyss, the only way out for this town.
Is life better than death or just jump off?
I chose the latter without hesitation, after all, the latter still has a little chance of life, and the former... I can't stand it anymore.
I don't know if it's lucky or unfortunate.
I fell off the cliff, not too heavy because I was still young, and ended up stuck on a tree trunk at the bottom of the cliff.The merchants who passed by here rescued me and gave me clothes and food.
I was full of gratitude, "I don't know what kind of business these uncles do?" After waking up, I drank the medicinal soup they sent, and asked curiously.
At that time, they looked at each other and smiled without saying a word.
I should have guessed it, but in the end it was an oversight.
They are businessmen who specialize in selling children and women. They picked me up on the road and saw that my injuries were not serious, and they could sell me for more money, so they reluctantly bought me two soups.
I thought, that's okay, at least I survived.
At night, when I rolled up my sleeves and looked at the pink spots on my body, I knew very well that they had been there since I was a child. My mother said it was a birthmark, but now she knew that it was a sign of leprosy.
I only hope that God will give me another chance to see the outside world, no matter whether I have been trafficked or not, in short, don’t let me go back to the cave of the living dead that is already indifferent to life and death.
Being trafficked into children, almost everyone cries every day. I am used to this, and I just choose to be indifferent.
Later, I found a girl, she was wearing light yellow clothes, she seemed to be from a family, she was sitting in the corner, with a pair of big watery eyes, looking at everything around her.
I don't know if it was because of fear or something else, but she was the only one who didn't cry with me.
She said, "My name is Qingying. I have no parents and no home since I was a child, so they gave me a good dress and I left with them. Sister, what's wrong with being sold? "
What she said was obviously wrong, but it was hard for me to refute it.
I also think there is nothing wrong with being sold, after all, life and death can still be chosen by oneself.
The two of us just leaned on each other, bumping along the way, not knowing where we were going.
In short, it made no difference to either of us where we went.
Qingying likes to curl up in a corner at night, so I slept outside her, fearing that she would be kicked accidentally when someone passed by and would wake her up.She said she had no home, and I happened to have neither, so I recognized her as my younger sister, and I wanted to treat her well.
From the spring day in the south of the Yangtze River to the beginning of summer, I don't know how long it has been.
That day, I woke up as usual, and then I saw a red figure outside by the window.
The woman was a little older than me, tall and thin, with a simple but hard-to-look appearance, of course the most eye-catching thing was the red dress.
The man didn't know what he was talking to the traffickers, he seemed to be talking about the price, maybe he wanted to buy a few girls.Seeing her take out the silver and hand it to the trafficker, I walked back quietly, sat beside Qingying, and carefully pushed her awake.
"Shhh." I pulled her to the corner, for fear that the woman would separate the two of us when he picked her up.
For some reason, before I met Qingying, I felt that it was irrelevant to where and to whom I was sold, but now I feel that if I want to separate me from her, it might be worse than killing me. I'm sad.
Unsurprisingly, the woman came in after the traffickers. The red gauze was so eye-catching in the dirty room.
"Girl, pick whatever you want."
The traffickers are very attentive, and it seems that the money given must be quite a lot.
The woman glanced around the crowd, and many people who were still asleep were kicked awake by the traffickers one by one. They rubbed their eyes dimly and scanned the surroundings, and finally fixed their eyes on the woman. I also understood what was going on.
"The two of them." The woman glanced at everyone hastily, and finally stretched out her fingers to Qingying and me.
I froze and looked at her with some puzzlement.
She grew very quickly, her bright eyes were slightly bent, as if she was smiling, but her eyes were cold.
"The two of them?" The trafficker took two steps forward and turned his head once again with certainty.
At that moment, I saw a smile on the woman's face, she was really smiling, the corners of her lips were drawn high, but there was no smile in her eyes.
She is such a strange person.
When the human trafficker was about to walk towards me and Qingying after getting the accurate answer, the woman suddenly stretched out her hand, with five fingers spread, and walked towards the human trafficker's neck.
I quickly covered Qingying's eyes, she shook and asked "what's the matter?" I didn't dare to make a sound, I just looked at the woman.
After the woman broke the trafficker's neck, she looked at all of us indifferently, and then showed a disdainful smile, "Let's go."
Without much words, she turned and left.
The door that was supposed to imprison us was wide open like that, without anyone blocking it, it was like a dream.
After the woman left, the people around her gradually started to move. Some of them walked out boldly, and ran out crying when they found that no one was guarding them.
"Sister, we..." Qingying looked at me timidly.
I saw the expectation in her eyes, she wanted me to give her an answer about the future, but I couldn't give it.
Before, we muddled along, waiting for the day when we would be taken away and sold, but now when freedom comes, we suddenly don't know what to do.
What's more, we have no family, we only have each other.
I sat there thinking for a long time, and when I came back to my senses, Qingying had already stood up and turned around in the already empty room.
"What is this?" Qingying picked up something from the ground and handed it to me. It was a simple-looking hairpin.
"It belongs to that person just now." I held the hairpin in my hand. All the belongings of the people in this room have been searched since the day they were arrested, so it cannot be theirs.
Just when I was thinking about whether to give this thing to that person or to find a place to change some money by myself, the door that was originally wide open was suddenly blocked by a figure.
"That's my thing."
That was the first sentence she said to me. I turned my head and passed the hairpin over.
She carefully put the hairpin into her sleeve, then looked at me and said, "This trafficker is dead, why don't you two leave?"
"When he was alive, we still had something to eat, but now that he's dead, we can't even eat." I glanced at the corpse on the ground, "Both of us have no home, so where else can we go? ?”
"That's what you said." She laughed, this time for real, smiling with her eyes covered and her mouth covered, "Don't you two have a place to go?"
"Yeah." I replied, and Qingying nodded repeatedly.
"Then follow me." She looked at me, and after looking at me, she just pursed her lips, "I lack two girls by my side, if you have nowhere to go, follow me."
She said that she was going back to Beijing, and returned to a big prison in the capital.
Then I finally knew that the big cage she was talking about was the imperial palace in the capital, and she was the elder sister of the current emperor, the eldest princess of the current dynasty—Li Ruo.
"I gave you a name." Sitting in the eldest princess's mansion, Li Ruo held a pen in his hand and wrote a few words on the paper, "Her name is Qing Ying, so you can be called Hong Xing."
I looked at the name on the paper, was slightly dazed, and then laughed. "Thank you, master."
She gave me my name and gave me everything. She was like a fairy from the other side who came to the world to save all beings.
Some people think she is a devil, but I don't.
She is my master, my eldest princess.
After living in the eldest princess's mansion for a period of time, I gradually became familiar with it, but I still have considerations in my heart. Every time I roll up my sleeves and look at the red spots that become more and more clear, I become more and more worried.
I don't know if I should stay here, maybe I'm a little greedy, greedy for the comfort in the eldest princess's mansion, greedy for the feeling of having Qingying and the eldest princess by my side, greedy for...
"It's so late, what are you doing sitting in the yard?" The Eldest Princess appeared in the yard at some unknown time, I turned my head and saw the thin and thin woman appearing behind me under the faint moonlight.
"Master." She has always been so indifferent, just like when she killed people that day, everything seems to leave no trace in her eyes, and no one seems to have any ripples in her heart.
"The cold dew is heavy this night, even if you want to sit here, you still have to wear some clothes." While speaking, the Eldest Princess took advantage of the opportunity to sit next to me, which surprised me a bit.
"Red apricot." The eldest princess called me, and I responded with a nod of "hmm".
"Qingying said that she had no parents since she was a child, so she begged for a living with those homeless people. What about you? What was your past like?"
This is what I am most afraid of, I am afraid of being asked about the past, I am afraid that others will know my past, and I am even more afraid of recalling the past.
I don't know how bad the expression on my face was at that time, anyway, after a long time, the eldest princess sighed helplessly, "If you don't want to say it, then don't say it."
The eldest princess treats me very well, but not only to me, but also to Qingying.
Qingying has a more lively personality, and within a few days she gets along very warmly with everyone in the house. Faced with her mischief, the eldest princess always turns a blind eye, while I always turn a blind eye to her mischief. Take it upon yourself to help her with everything.
I like the feeling that everyone is like a family.
That long-lost warmth.
Not long after, the Eldest Princess asked me to study medicine with someone, and I was very willing, as long as the Eldest Princess asked me to do it, I was willing to do it, and I did my best to do it.
I don't know what this kind of emotion is called, I think it is gratitude, I am full of gratitude to the eldest princess, after all, I have everything I am today because of her.
I went to the Valley of Divine Medicine, where it is like spring all the year round, and the whole valley is full of herbs that I couldn't name at that time.
There lived a man named Zhuge Jun in the Valley of Miraculous Doctors. He was fat, just like the Maitreya Buddha that was usually placed in the temple.
He is a very powerful person, because he knew my illness after meeting me once.
He said, "Your disease was brought from your mother's womb. I have medicine to try to suppress the disease in your body, but don't contact those who have already developed the disease. At that time, the disease that was suppressed will become more serious." serious, you know?"
After this incident, Zhuge Jun's view of excellent medical skills took root in my heart.
Seeing that the erythema on my body gradually faded, Zhuge Jun gave me a few more needles, and I sat there with my hair full of silver needles, shaking my head and reciting medical techniques.
Sometimes when Zhuge Jun came back from collecting herbs, seeing my absent-minded appearance, he would pull out a silver needle and stab it fiercely at my laughing acupoint.
"Fatty man, you sneaked up on me." I smiled like that, and relieved the only burden in my heart, and suddenly I found myself laughing more and more.
Several times, when the eldest princess came to visit me, she would say the same thing, "Hongxing, you are getting more and more beautiful."
I don't know why, but when I hear the eldest princess praise me so much, I blushed and lowered my head.
The heartbeat is very fast, I have never had that feeling, I don’t know what that feeling is called, I just know that I am looking forward to that person to visit me more and more, looking forward to being in that blue-yellow The bright red figure appeared on the hillside, and I hope more and more...
Every time she left, I would sit on the top of the hill and watch the carriage go away.I don't know why, every time the eldest princess leaves, it is at night. I sit on the top of the mountain and enjoy the wind, and I am extraordinarily awake, so I can stare at the direction she left for a long time.
"Damn girl, I asked you to pick herbs, why did you pick half of them?"
Zhuge Jun would always jump around for no reason, I looked at him, a little puzzled, "What half, I have already picked a basket of herbs."
"Heh." Zhuge Jun sneered and picked up the herbs in the back basket, "I mean half of the herbs-grass! Tell me, why haven't you clearly distinguished grass from herbs after teaching for so long..." said He said, and rolled his eyes annoyed, "It's really annoying."
Sometimes I find it very strange why Zhuge Jun is able to say "Hate!" without changing his face, pointing his orchid fingers up and coquettishly. This question has been lingering in my mind.
He said, "Damn girl, what do you know." As he spoke, he raised his orchid finger again, pointed at the tip of my nose and said, "I'm a style, do you understand a style?"
"don't know."
I don't understand a lot, such as why the master is so fat but so flexible, every time I fight against him, I always lose to him; also, why he promised the eldest princess to teach me medical skills, even though I am not familiar with medical skills There is no talent at all, he calls me stupid every day, but he still works tirelessly to teach me medical skills; why often, like me, he sits alone on the top of the mountain in a daze, is he missing someone?Who could it be?
"Damn girl, if you leave, I won't be used to it." One day, Zhuge Jun was sitting in the yard basking in the sun, and somehow mentioned this matter.
I thought about it, yes, I have lived in this valley for many years, if she leaves, she will be a little bit reluctant to part with this fat man who speaks sissy and flexible.
"Master, if I leave, will you be so thin that I can't recognize you when I come back?"
Zhuge Jun was stunned for a moment, then he pulled the bamboo pole beside me and hit me on the head, "Damn girl, master, am I not thin now?"
I didn't want to tell lies, so I finally chose not to speak.
The noisy days are finally over, the eldest princess took me back to Beijing, Zhuge Jun didn't even say a word of reluctance, and I left without even turning my head.
To say I don't want to, is really a little bit reluctant.But compared to being able to see the person you want to see every day, what is that bit of reluctance?
"Sister Hongxing." When I returned to the eldest princess's mansion, Qingying had grown into a big girl, she had lost her youthfulness and timidity, and she became more and more charming. Only then did I realize that the years have passed , I have also grown up.
"From now on, you will follow me."
I got my wish, but I was a little uneasy after all.
"Hongxing, the emperor chooses a concubine, are you willing to enter the palace?" On that day, the eldest princess pulled me into the study and asked softly.
The emperor chooses a concubine?Send me to the palace?
I have been with the eldest princess for a long time, and I know that the eldest princess has a lot of ideas in her heart. She has her plan, she has what she thinks should be done, and the right thing.
Although I was a little reluctant in my heart, I still said, "Everything is under the arrangement of the master."
That night, Qing Ying told me that the Eldest Princess also asked her the same thing, presumably the Eldest Princess was going to choose between Qing Ying and me to send to the harem.
I would like to, but I don't want to.
What I'm willing to do is to do anything for the eldest princess, but what I don't want is... I don't want to just leave her.
So I sat in the room with Qingying and talked all night, I tried to relieve the fear in my heart, I was afraid that when I opened my eyes tomorrow, the eldest princess would come and tell me to let me enter the palace.
"Sister Hongxing, look at our master, after so many years, it is still the same as before." Qing Ying lay on the bed and said to herself, "They said it was made from eating bird's nest." Qing Ying said Ying held her own face and said, "You said that without those nourishing things, in two years, I will become an old woman with a withered complexion, just like that Xiaocui at the pork stall."
Qingying is talking about a girl who is about our age at the pork stall. She has been doing business in the pork stall since she was a child. Naturally, her face is a little bit worse after being exposed to the wind and sun, but when I heard Qingying say this, I still couldn't help but sigh. laughed.
"What are you thinking about?"
After all, Qingying is a child. Apart from having fun every day, she studies clothes and tidying up. Seeing her current appearance, I really can't laugh or cry.
Later, the eldest princess decided to send Qingying to the palace.
Speaking of which, this result still makes me a little unhappy in my heart.
Not because of jealousy, but because Qingying entered the palace, so he couldn't see her often.I was also worried, afraid that her temper would cause trouble if she entered the palace.But seeing her innocently changing into new clothes, I could only shake my head with a wry smile, and said nothing more.
After all, Qingying is married, I helped her get dressed, and the eldest princess did her hair in person.
At that moment, I felt that a child had grown up suddenly.
When getting on the sedan chair, Qingying took my hand and asked me to take good care of the eldest princess, I said, "Don't worry, I will."
No one needs to tell me this, I will do it.
Without Qingying, the princess' mansion suddenly became much deserted.The eldest princess was often in a daze, and one day, she asked me, "Hongxing, do you feel that something is missing?"
I said, "Stop smiling, master hasn't smiled for several days."
I like to see the eldest princess laugh, that kind of smile from the heart.Every time, when she smiles, she will lick her lips, and then pull the corners of her lips, and every time she smiles, I feel as if I see the sun.
Although the eldest princess does not look like a warm person, her eyes are often covered with frost, but I know that there is a warmth in her heart that others cannot understand.
Every year, the eldest princess would lock herself in the study on the day of her mother's funeral.
I don't know what she was doing in there, but once when I passed by unintentionally, I seemed to hear sobs in a trance.
I have never seen the eldest princess cry, even when she fell off the horse and broke her leg, her eyes were not red, but now in a corner where there is no one, is she crying?
Thinking of this, I suddenly feel very distressed.
Later, it was reported in the palace that Qingying was pregnant, which really made me and the eldest princess laugh happily.In those few days, the eldest princess and I kept talking about whether the child born by Qingying would be as naughty as her. We all laughed as we talked.
At that time, Qing Ying, who always liked to jump around, suddenly became more peaceful, and gradually became like a mother.But no one would have thought that that day the queen, the eldest princess, and Qingying went to see the scenery together. I was afraid that the eldest princess would catch a cold, so I went to the coat in the carriage, but it was only for a short while, and when I went When they returned to the side of the mountain, they heard that Qing Ying and the queen fell off the cliff together.
Later, Qingying's child was gone, and what was more serious, the imperial doctor said that she would never have another child of her own in this life.
"Hong Xing, you said that I sent Qing Ying to the palace, did I do something wrong?"
The eldest princess never doubted herself, but that time she said such a thing.I wanted to comfort her, but when I thought of Qingying's despair after learning the truth, I suddenly lost my voice and couldn't say anything.
What if I was the one who entered the palace in the first place?Will everything be different?
I'd rather let me bear all the pain than...
Qing Ying lost her mind and gradually began to become unconscious.I know, I know that she has always wanted to have a family, and when she found out that she was pregnant, she was so happy.
At that time, she said, "Sister Hongxing, you know, it's the first time I feel so at ease, and I feel that life is very hopeful."
However, God always likes to play tricks on people like this.
All her hopes were cut off just like that, and she finally fell into despair.
"Hongxing, let's go." I visited again and again, but Qingying's situation has never improved. That day I saw disappointment on the princess's face, and she said, "Forget it. Let her go."
Afterwards, the days went on as usual day by day, and nothing changed because of Qingying.At that moment, the feeling of trying life and death to be normal many years ago once again hit my heart, and I suddenly became a little scared.
One day later, the eldest princess and I went to Baiyue City as promised, but I didn't expect to hear that Cang Liang was arrested by the emperor.So, the eldest princess and I had to change our itinerary and prepare to return to Beijing, but unexpectedly, we ran into that person while we were on our way.
That person is the second son of the great general. I have heard his name and his affairs, but I didn't expect that he would be her.
She was a woman, and her already thin body was made even thinner by the thick wrap around her chest.
I don't know what the eldest princess planned, I just helped Yin Rong treat the wound according to the order, and then...
There was only one vacant room in the inn in the town. Yin Rong was seriously injured and naturally wanted to sleep on the bed, and the eldest princess Guizi naturally wanted to sleep on the bed.
I have to say, when the eldest princess said that she would share the bed with Yin Rong, I felt a little uncomfortable in my heart.But that feeling was fleeting, and I quietly looked in the direction of the bed.
The thin bed curtain was lowered, and the shadow of the eldest princess could be vaguely recognized. She lay down slowly and fell asleep peacefully like that.
Just lying on the table like that, secretly looking at the direction of the bed, my heart was empty, and somehow a bad premonition flashed across me.
Then, everything seemed to go beyond expectations.
I followed the eldest princess's order and went back to find the master to get the medicine, but when I came back, I heard the news that the emperor had granted the eldest princess and Yin Rong a marriage.
At that moment, I felt a little dizzy, and everything was as unreal as a dream.
How is it possible that after only a few days away, the eldest princess is going to marry Yin Rong?Moreover, the eldest princess clearly knows that Yin Rong...
I am the slave and she is the master.
I am not qualified to ask too much, even if I am so eager to know the answer.
Yin Rong came to the house again and again, and I just looked at her, watching her approach the eldest princess step by step.I can't stop it, I have no reason to stop it, and I can't stop it.
I followed my duty to do my best, and I was afraid that if I did too much, or if I didn't do it well, it would cause the eldest princess' displeasure.
Her displeasure, even the slightest, would make me very uneasy.
Because of this, I began to tell myself that I knew I would not have it from the beginning, so how can I feel lost now?
But the world is unpredictable, Qing Ying is crazy, the Queen Mother intends to let me enter the palace.When the eldest princess finished all the words, my heart was extraordinarily peaceful.I thought I should feel disappointed, but unexpectedly, I just accepted the fact calmly.
I didn't lose anyone, what I lost was my own heart.
It was left somewhere by me, I can't find it, and I don't plan to look for it again.
The harem is as disgusting as I imagined. Apart from facing the emperor every day, there are a bunch of concubines who come out of nowhere.
I wandered among those people, listening to them say some very boring things, and remembering to help the eldest princess in my heart as before.Even if she told me that as long as I take care of myself, how could I do that?
Over the years, I've been trying to make her thing my own.Now, how can it change?
Day after day, the day when the eldest princess gets married is coming, I have no time to take care of it, because I found that the erythema on my body has gradually become clearer.
I'm starting to get sick.
Zhuge Jun told me not to contact those people with leprosy, but all this is beyond my control.There was a young eunuch in the palace who was suffering from leprosy. He had a relationship with me once, and this aspect took my life.
I knew that I was going to die, my body began to fester, and I would gradually become like the people in Leprosy Town back then, becoming neither human nor ghost.
I sealed myself in the room and didn't let anyone see my appearance. I thought that I could avoid the fact, but the fact... the fact is that the palace servant I took care of also suffered from leprosy.
I threatened her and coaxed her not to tell the story.
but……
In the end, the fire could not be covered with paper, the imperial doctor and guards broke open the door, and at that time I had no strength to resist.
Even if I didn't want to, at that time I was already ready to be thrown into a pit and burned to ashes.
And at that time, the person I hadn't seen for a long time appeared in front of me again. She appeared in my dreams again and again, but that time she actually appeared in front of me.
I wanted so much to step forward to hug her and express all the grievances in my heart, but when I opened my mouth, I just said lightly, "It's now, master shouldn't come to see me. "
I waited desperately for death, at least it was worth it for me to send me this journey.
And at that moment, I suddenly understood why my mother didn't make any sound when she was thrown into the fire pit.
Because I don't want the person I care about to feel more sorry for me, I don't want my pain to become a nightmare and become that person's pain, because...
"Hongxing, don't be afraid, take this medicine, and you'll be fine when you wake up."
Will it be all right?I pulled out the last laugh and swallowed the medicine with peace of mind.
Even if it's poisonous, it doesn't matter.
The moment I closed my eyes and fell asleep, I suddenly regretted that I didn't say what was in my heart before I died.
"Li Ruo, I like you." From the day she told me "If you don't want to say it, then don't say it.", she has fallen in love with you, but there will be no more chances...
Even if he doesn't ask for anything in return, but just wants to stay by her side, the chance to do something for her is already gone.
I clearly have so many things I want to say in my heart, but I have no chance.
Hot tears flowed down the corners of my eyes, and I couldn't believe the touch.
Do you still cry after you die?
"Damn girl, do you know that you almost died?"
A familiar voice sounded, could it be a dream?
"Damn girl, Li Ruo handed you over to me, saying that if I can't cure you, you will trample on my stomach. How can you do that?"
Master!
"Damn girl, can you wake up!"
The moment I opened my eyes, the bright sunlight hurt my eyes, and I... was still alive.
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