There is a crematorium, I won't say who it is

In the first ten days of January, the Christmas holiday came to an end, and Xie's father and mother asked for leave from the conservatory where he worked, and planned to stay in Italy and spend the Spring Festival with Xie Wen.

They rushed to visit Xie Wen's grandmother and grandfather before the New Year's Eve. In the villa area of ​​the rich in the north of Rome, a kind and quiet old lady opened the door for them. Xie Wen hadn't seen his grandmother for a long time. He was a little uncomfortable, but he still had a warm feeling in his heart. He remembered that his grandmother's name was Giorgia, and she was his first Italian teacher.

That night, colorful fireworks were set off in the sky of Rome, and groups of young people walked on the street chatting excitedly, many of them were friendly Asian faces, they picked up their mobile phones to call important people, and the laughter wandered around In the streets and alleys.

Xie Wen stood in the yard wearing the padded down jacket his mother had prepared for him, his tall figure in the past looked a little bloated and clumsy at this moment.He looked up at the flickering fireworks, his eyes were shining brightly, and he didn't speak for a long time.

There is also a firework in his memory. At that time, the summer had not yet passed completely. He walked from the stage to the crowd and saw the person next to the seat.They chatted a few words inappropriately, and then the man turned to him and asked if he wanted to be a lover.

Xie Wen blinked his eyes, stretched his slightly sore neck a few times, and dispelled the scenes that should not have appeared in his mind.

The sound of the door opening and closing came from behind. Mother Xie, wearing a red cashmere dress, brought out a cup of hot coffee and handed it to her son, asking softly, "Aren't you going to play with your friends on the street tonight? When you were young, you liked and loved The partners of the Le Orchestra went to the Arc de Triomphe together, why didn't you contact them after you came back?"

She is a slightly plump and beautiful woman with a pair of almond eyes and a soft tone when she speaks, like a green hill in the rain and fog in spring.

Xie Wen took the cup of hot coffee and took a sip through the dense mist: "I have grown up, and I haven't contacted them for a long time."

This is the truth, he felt that he was already out of tune with those lively young people on the street.Although he is only 30 years old, sometimes he is no different from those young people, but from his temperament, experience and the indifference in his eyes, it can be seen that Xie Wen is more rational and mature.

"The members of the orchestra miss you very much. Last time I asked my dad when he could perform with you," Xie's mother smiled and said a little sadly, "My dad and I still think you are a child, and many things have not yet been resolved." Teach you, you are already this big."

"How could it be?" Xie Wen shook his head, looking at the woman beside him comfortingly, "I have learned a lot."

"Let's not talk about this," Xie's mother asked, "Are you really planning to contact your friends on New Year's Eve? Meng Shu sent me a text message a few days ago, asking for your phone number."

Hearing the word "Meng Shu", Xie Wen was in a daze for a while, as if being dragged back to the days in Tangjia City, and did not come back to his senses until the white rose-shaped fireworks lit up above his head .

"I almost forgot, I haven't left a call for Meng Shu yet."

Xie Wen concealedly took out the new mobile phone from the pocket of the down jacket, quickly tapped eleven numbers on the display screen with his fingertips, and dialed it.

No one answered the phone for a long time, so he called Xian Lu and Zhuo Yiming respectively.

"Wenwen," Xie's mother smiled, as if she was watching the cute children messing around, "You forgot, their time is different from ours, maybe they are still sleeping."

Xie Wen turned his head, and shyness flashed in his eyes.

"Why are you absent-minded tonight? Grandma asked several questions. You subconsciously replied in Chinese, but grandma couldn't understand. Wenwen, do you still have something on your mind?"

"I—" Xie Wen was speechless.

He was discouraged: "Mom, I feel like I am at a fork in every step. There are many choices waiting for me, but I don't know which one I want."

Xie's mother nodded and said in a low voice: "Then let's talk about your recent plans. Do you want to continue to operate your violin shop?"

"...that store has been entrusted to Meng Shu for the time being," Xie Wen replied, "I will return to Tangjia City when I am in better condition."

"Father also means the same thing. He wants you to stay in Italy for a while longer. When the two of us return to Austria to teach, you will take care of the house here."

Xie Wen nodded heavily.

They chatted in the yard for a while, and when the fireworks dissipated and the New Year's bell rang, the lively and celebrating people rubbed their tired sleepy eyes and left, while his mother still stood beside him and listened quietly.

"Mom, I've decided."

Xie Wen turned his head, his tone was a bit solemn: "I want to participate in one more concert as a violinist at the end, and then give up the position of the principal of the orchestra."

His words were dispersed in the moist cool wind of Rome, along the city's Piazza Navona into the gentle waves of the mother river Tiber, and rushed to the sea.

This orchestra is not talking about the Symphony Orchestra of Tangjia City, but the Italian National Philharmonic Orchestra.

Therefore, after hearing this decision, Xie's father and mother were a little surprised, but they decided to respect their son's choice and not interfere.

This is not a temporary idea. Xie Wen has been thinking about it for a long time. Although he is very reluctant to give up this position, if it continues, it will only make him feel that he is standing still.Some impulsive factors in his bones are also persuading him to put him into a new life as soon as possible and get out of his comfort zone.

Before the Spring Festival, they drove to the supermarket and bought a lot of useful and useless things to fill the trunk. On the way, Xie’s father and mother went to the pharmacy to buy a few bags of spare items. Xie Wen was like a child without adult supervision, wandering around on the street. .

The streets and alleys of the city of Rome have resumed normal business. There is no New Year atmosphere here, and everything is normal.

The sun shines on the river under the Holy Angel Bridge, the breeze pushes the sparkling light to move slowly downstream, and the two rows of sycamores on the side of the road are also swaying. Under the red brick wall at the corner of a certain street, a boy of twelve or thirteen years old Wearing yellow overalls, standing in the shadows and playing the saxophone.

Xie Wen stood in front of him and listened for a while, remembering that he was also very interested in this instrument when he was a child, but his grandfather felt that the saxophone was not dignified enough, and he could not stand in a symphony orchestra like a gentleman, so he stopped his thoughts in time .

Anyway, at this moment, the little boy played very well.

Xie Wen took out a handful of money from his wallet and put it in the musical instrument box on the ground. The little boy blinked his eyes, stopped playing and said thank you in broken Chinese.

Immediately afterwards, he saw the handsome viewer in front of him and couldn't help smiling, as beautiful as the daylight behind him.

Xie Wen said goodbye to him, and continued to wander in the street in front of the pharmacy.

He walked into a flower shop, and the waiter warmly greeted him and followed him to introduce each flower variety to him.

In fact, no introduction is needed at all, Xie Wen already knows most of the flowers and flower languages ​​on the market, as for the reason... I don't need to go into details.

Finally, he walked out of the flower shop with a small glass bottle in his arms. A plant like a green bamboo shoot was planted in the bottle.This is picked by Xie Wen. When it grows up, white hyacinths will bloom by the window.

After returning home, he dug out the orchestra training diary he had written before from his room, which recorded every time he worked hard to win the orchestra's chief performance node, and these were the most important moments in his life.

After the New Year’s Eve, Xie Wen contacted members of the Philharmonic Orchestra who hadn’t seen each other for a long time. Most of them were Italians, and their excited speech speed was processed by the phone signal to make it difficult to distinguish.

He rejoined the band's training for his final performance.The days passed in such a busy and fulfilling time. In such a country, he would not be emotional, let alone think of the past because of something.

But Xie Wen knew very well in his heart that his subconscious was resisting, and he still couldn't fully adapt to such a life.

When he realized that he fell in love with Jiang Zhiye, it was in a quiet night.

Walking out of the training room, it was raining. He followed his body's natural reaction and looked towards the gate. There was no luxurious and low-key black car in the rain and fog, and no man was waiting for him with an umbrella.

Naturally, no one will take care of all the details for him, even the button of his shirt. The coffee used to warm his hands, the cold scarf, warm embrace and intimate whispers all disappeared. gone.

Xie Wen admitted that Jiang Zhiye took good care of him in daily life. With Jiang Zhiye around, he didn't need to think about anything. Even the temperature of the hot water in the bathroom was adjusted by a man for him.

However, on such a night, he would go home alone, finish dinner alone, wash up alone, and then go to bed alone.

But how can I sleep?Xie Wen closed his eyes sadly.

His body and mind have all been handed over to Jiang Zhiye. In many inadvertent details, he is vaguely looking forward to Jiang Zhiye's appearance. Even the pleasure and pleasure of his body can only be relied on Jiang Zhiye.

This condition cannot be cured, Xie Wen spent the night awake, and the next day, he was busy practicing piano as usual.

In his mind, this relationship is broken, and there is nothing to regret.Sooner or later, Jiang Zhiye will marry someone else and have children. He has already expected this kind of consequence.But emotion has never been controlled by human reason, it is not controlled at all.

On the night of New Year's Eve, Xie Wen asked his mother painfully, how can he forget him?

Mother Xie asked back: Why should he be forgotten?Forget about him, it is disrespectful to you.

Xie Wen didn't answer, and he didn't learn to reconcile with this love-hate relationship until a long time later.Love is very important, but it will not be the whole of a person. He has to look forward and keep this part in a corner of his heart. Over time, he will forget that he loved Jiang Zhiye.

So he accepted the fact that he fell in love with Jiang Zhiye, and then used other parts of his life to dissolve and bury it little by little.

The trajectory of life is upward, and Xie Wen believes that he will gradually become happier.

Different from the warm and humid southern Europe, Tangjia City is the coldest season after the Spring Festival.

Jiang Zhiye spent those two months with difficulty, and when the vacation was over, he forced his life to get back on track.He called his aunt to clean the whole villa, put all Xie Wen's things into the room, and locked it.

Strong self-control has taken over his body again, as long as no one brings it up, he will not think of the sweet past of the two of them.

Sometimes everything in front of him also makes him confused. What is the purpose of all these years of hard work, to climb to a higher place, to stand at the top?

But why after getting it, it seems to have lost everything.

When he was dissatisfied with the work arrangement, Jiang Zhiye would drive by the door of He Rijun and smoke a cigarette. He felt very sorry that he had not had time to say a lot to Xie Wen. He wanted to say that he liked him and loved him very much, but he had no chance now up.

Even standing in front of him, he wouldn't want to hear it.

Jiang Zhiye laughed at himself, and continued to live this hopeless life. The Jiang family and the Song family are about to marry, and they also have a lot of business contacts. Bad debts are extremely troublesome to clean up.

After free time, he began to look up things about Lan Xi.For example, why his parents called him back to the old house in a rage that day, and exerted great pressure to bring the marriage of the two families into daily life; for example, why did Lan Xi suddenly appear in Shise that day; In some cases, I suddenly think of Lan Xi...everything has a result.

A guy who flatters everywhere just to gain benefits is not worthy of Jiang Zhiye's attention, but who told him to do evil in matters related to Xie Wen?

After dealing with Lan Xi, Jiang Zhiye told himself, accept the reality, Xie Wen will not come back again.

He will continue to walk along this road, go to Hei, marry a contract wife, and live the rest of his life without any hope. This kind of chaotic life should not involve people like Xie Wen, and he should be given a spotless life. , a clean future that has nothing to do with me.

At that time, he was dazzled by the sweet attachment in love, and Jiang Zhiye hadn't realized that he was not qualified to promise the rest of his life to that person. He wanted to have a future with that person, but that person might not be willing.Why buy a house?If it really made it impossible for Xie Wen to sit in that honorable position and follow him without a name...he would also be reluctant.

Roses that need to be pampered like that shouldn't be wronged by him.

After thinking about this matter clearly, Jiang Zhiye's heart was suddenly empty, his eyes were only dark, like his future, he couldn't see his fingers.

Around the beginning of spring, the joy of the New Year has not yet dissipated, and the ladies in the wealthy circle walk around with each other, discussing the important matters of each family.

Jiang's mother happily welcomed her niece who came back from abroad, seeing her eleven or twelve-year-old nephew running around in the garden with indescribable envy in her heart.

"Don't worry, Auntie. Isn't Zhiye getting engaged soon? When spring comes next year, maybe I can give you a grandson."

"I can't count on him," Jiang's mother said, but the joy on her face was unstoppable. "It's more than 30, and the marriage is finally finalized. Seeing that he is so focused on Jiang, I guess I don’t plan to have children with Yingqing even after I’m married.”

"Don't worry, you need someone to urge you to have children. If you find a few cute children to hang around in front of Zhiye every day, he will figure it out and want it."

The niece's patient enlightenment made Jiang's mother very upset.

"Otherwise, let's take the child to see Zhiye, and let him feel what it's like to be a parent."

After a few words, Mother Jiang nodded.

Speaking of which, this was the first time she brought an outsider to Jiang Zhiye's private house as a guest. How could a mother send a report to her son to visit her, so the few of them drove to the place where Jiang Zhiye lived without thinking too much about it. Villa area.

It was the afternoon at this time, and Jiang Zhiye would never be at home. Mother Jiang hesitated whether to take her niece to a nearby shopping mall, but the niece said, "What's the matter? Have a meal together."

Jiang's mother said yes, and when she got off the car and stood in front of Jiang Zhiye's house, she realized that she did not have her son's house key.

He simply rang the doorbell, and someone opened the door. It happened to be the aunt who came to help with the cleaning.She looked hesitantly at the two middle-aged women and a child in her teens at the door, and refused to let them in.

Jiang's mother immediately frowned: "I am Zhiye's mother, can I still be blocked from entering?"

So they Shi Shiran broke into Jiang Zhiye's private house, and as soon as they entered, the niece's exclamation reached Jiang's mother's ears: "Auntie, Zhiye is indeed a son raised by a rich family, and the facilities at home are so luxurious. "

Although she has never visited her son's home, such compliments made Jiang's mother feel a little more proud. She enthusiastically took her niece's hand and went up to the second floor: "Come on, let's continue chatting and wait for Zhiye to come back." Then go to dinner."

At seven o'clock in the evening, Jiang Zhiye pushed open the door and saw the aunt at home serving food on the dining table.

"Why is it so early today?" He frowned slightly and glanced at the watch on his wrist.

"Mr. Jiang..." Auntie explained helplessly, "Your mother and cousin came to visit you, and they are sitting on the second floor now."

Mother and cousin?

Jiang Zhiye stood at the entrance, squinting his eyes and thinking about it for a while before he remembered what his cousin looked like.Normally, he seldom went back to Jiang's house, and even for the New Year's Eve dinner, he hurried back to the old house for a perfunctory meal. Why did his mother suddenly come to the house to look for him?

The aunt looked at the host's uncertain face, and cautiously probed: "Either, or else don't make this meal."

"No need," Jiang Zhiye interrupted, "Go ahead."

He tugged on his tie casually, passed by the second floor without stopping at all when going upstairs, and went directly to his bedroom to change clothes.

When he came out from the third floor, the phone in his pocket suddenly rang a few times. Xue Wei called and was about to report to him the latest agreement on the Sino-French Cooperation Fund.

Jiang Zhiye stood at the corner of the stairs, listening to Xue Wei's words in silence, standing there.

Listening and listening, there was a sudden sound not far away, and the sound came from upstairs.

Upstairs... There are only the top four floors. Jiang Zhiye hasn't been there for nearly three months. The last piece he collected was the violin Xie Wen made for him.

Why, there is a sound on the top floor.

Jiang Zhiye slowly put down his phone, turned his head to look at the end of the stairs, his eyes became cold and dark.

Who is there.

Xue Wei's unfinished sentence was hung up by Jiang Zhiye, he stepped on the stairs with his long legs, and walked forward step by step.

The noise seemed to be unaware of his approach, and it was crackling in all directions, coming towards the man.

One second, two seconds, three seconds...

Jiang Zhiye pressed the switch in the hall on the fourth floor.

At that moment, a lively black shadow flashed in front of him, holding a beautiful glass box in his hand. Jiang Zhiye recognized it at a glance. It was the container he had personally selected for Xie Wen's violin. Many full drills.

It is the most important thing for him, and it hurts even to look at it, and he is not willing to touch it.

But now, the little boy who came out of nowhere opened the lid wantonly and touched it with his hands.

"What are you doing?"

As the man gritted his teeth and roared, the boy hit his ribs in a panic, and the glass box dropped from his hand, rolling down the long and curved spiral staircase.

Almost in an instant, Jiang Zhiye staggered, and he suddenly reached out to fish it, but the piano box had already fallen on the steps, and there was a sharp and painful howl, the glass shattered to the ground, together with those shiny The diamonds fell all over the floor, and the violin was also thrown out by this fierce force, knocked on the corner of the step, and rolled down layer by layer with a muffled sound.

Scratched glass, skewed bridges, loose strings.

Jiang Zhiye's heart seemed to be cut open by the glass at that moment with a bloody wound. His heart was split into pieces, but the glass knife was still falling, splitting his soul and body in two, leaving half stiff in the original place. Half of the ground has already been broken along with the harp.

He immediately turned his head, grabbed the little boy who was terrified and wanted to escape, lifted him up and pressed him against the railing of the stairs, and said angrily, "Who told you to touch it?! Are you looking for death!"

The little boy was so frightened that he burst into tears. He squeezed Jiang Zhiye's strong arm tightly, and the cry was even sharper than the sound of breaking glass.

That's the most important thing for Jiang Zhiye, he hasn't shed tears yet, so why should this child be?

Why is he?

The continuous noise attracted the two women on the second floor. Seeing the situation in front of her, Mother Jiang's niece shouted: "Zhiye, what are you doing, put down Xuanxuan!"

Jiang's mother also said in horror: "Put him down quickly, can't you just talk about something?"

Looking at the mess all over the floor, even if they didn't see what happened with their own eyes, they probably guessed it.

It was the aunt who quickly found a piece of cloth and swept the broken glass into the corner, so that Jiang Zhiye's cousin was able to rush up and snatch her son, crying distressedly: "It's just a violin, if it's broken, there's so much more to it, you Why are you so angry?"

Jiang Zhiye's eyes were red, and he said sullenly, "Get lost."

"You, what did you say?"

Mother Jiang also stood up the stairs: "Zhiye, she is your cousin, you want to talk to her like this for a violin?!"

"Do you want me to say it again?" Jiang Zhiye was already on the verge of rage, "Get out!"

"You are really lawless. When you were young, you should have been more strictly controlled, and you shouldn't be allowed to touch these messy things. Now that you have grown up, your wings have become stiff, and you are so rude to your elders. I really regret that I didn't do it any more. Discipline you!"

Jiang's mother scolded her for being unfilial, as if she was irritated, she blamed Jiang Zhiye.

"Okay, Auntie, Zhiye is just too angry. I believe he didn't do it on purpose. We came here today to let him meet Xuanxuan, and to make him like children..."

"Auntie, see off the guests," Jiang Zhiye broke out in a deep voice, "ask them out."

The meeting broke up unhappy, and Mother Jiang angrily took her niece and grandnephew into the car and left his home.

When the aunt came up with the broom to clean, Jiang Zhiye still stood there numbly and said in a hoarse voice: "There is no need to clean here, you can go back too."

He looked at the debris all over the ground, his heart fell into the bottomless abyss, his hands and feet were cold, and his whole body was cold.

Make him like kids?

Jiang Zhiye dislikes children the most in his life. Children who are not self-reliant remind him of his parents, so he also hates being parents.He hates all the incompetent parents in this world. If possible, he would like to live without a family for the rest of his life.

He reached out to pick up the shards of glass, the light reflected from the incision shone into his pupils, and he could still hear his mother scolding and hysterical.

He saw himself hiding under the table when he was young, the sky outside the window was already dark, there were no stars, and the air was filled with the smell of perfume from various women. He heard his mother and the teacher of the piano class say: "Our home is not suitable He doesn't have the talent to come into contact with these music arts and the like, so the teacher doesn't have to bother him about it in the future."

The mother said to the mother of his classmate: "Madam, please keep your son away from Zhiye in the future. His self-control ability is really bad. His father and I just want him to study hard. In the future, the two children Just don't continue dating, and don't let him run around with Zhiye after school."

The young Jiang Zhiye huddled in a place out of the light, staring blankly at the white porcelain floor, on which leather shoes stepped over the fallen mud, had long hair, and a black piano with only the lower body exposed, showing Three neatly arranged pedals in metallic colors.

He covered his ears in fear, he didn't want to hear his mother belittle him blindly, he didn't want to hear his classmate's mother echoing, he didn't want to hear the teacher's promise, he didn't want to admit that he was a child with extremely poor self-control and no talent at all. I don't want to go to school without friends, and I don't want to lose my ability to experience new things forever.

Father and mother bent down, and their faces appeared in front of the young Jiang Zhiye. Against the light, Jiang Zhiye looked at their slightly dark faces: "Son, it's time to go home."

He was dragged into a limousine and returned to the huge villa. He was pressed and kneeled on the red blanket, with leather shoes and high heels shaking in front of his eyes, and yelling and cursing echoed in his ears.

The people in the villa watched Jiang Zhiye being punished with bated breath. He wanted everyone to close their eyes and not look at it, but he didn't dare to speak. There were bloody scratches on his skin.

"Why are you disobedient? You have to go home after school! You are really hard-winged now, how dare you escape to learn piano?"

"Do you think you are the son of a great musician, with the talent to perform on stage? If you commit another crime in the future, it will be more than these punishments!"

Jiang Zhiye tried his best not to cry, his young body was trembling slightly, it was the fear and resentment towards his parents, and he even hated his own incompetence.

He hated himself for being controlled by others. If he could choose, he would rather be an orphan than such parents.

"Okay, okay, that's it."

The mother's casual and lazy voice sounded, and the father immediately put away the wooden stick, and she asked for ointment from the housekeeper, and the cold and irritating pain poured on Jiang Zhiye's wound.

He wiped away his tears, shook off his mother's hand and rushed back to his room.

"This child, if you don't take the medicine, you will have scars... It's really worrying."

After so many years, such a scene is still vivid in his memory, tormenting him every night.

Trembling, Jiang Zhiye continued to pick up the fragments on the ground, the sharp surface hurt his palm, he didn't realize it, he collected them bit by bit, as if he was trying to restore his broken heart.

He picked up one step after another, seeing the loose bridges and strings of the violin, his heart ached even more.

The owner of the violin made it very well and beautifully, and it was also extraordinarily strong. Even if it rolled across the entire floor in the pile of glass shards, the bridge still stubbornly did not fall off.

Trembling, Jiang Zhiye hugged the violin in his arms, placed it on his heart, lowered his head and put his cheek against it, as if comforting the violin in his arms.

His fingertips stroked the body of the piano little by little, inspecting the wound left by the sharp blade, and finally stopped at a certain mark.

His gaze gathered there, and he didn't slow down.

What does "X"... mean?

It was a very design-inspired logo, printed in black ink on one corner, and you couldn't find it if you didn't observe carefully.

On the day of the breakup, Jiang Zhiye was full of Xie Wen. He picked up the piano in the snow and didn't pay attention to the details.

The symbol X, he had only heard of a luthier using it that way.

It's William.

William...X...William...Xie?

Jiang Zhiye stared at the mark with his eyes slightly closed.

After a while, he suddenly laughed, and laughed out loud, as if he was pleased by himself.

Jiang Zhiye, Jiang Zhiye, there is a dead end in your life.

If you don't get what you want, you lose everything you get.

The author has something to say:

Thanks to Wen Zhoudu, my boss threw two mines!

Thanks to Boss Yanqing for the 5 bottles of nutrient solution irrigated

Thanks to Wen Zhoudu for a bottle of nutrient solution irrigated by my boss

Thanks to the boss of Jiali for the 5 bottles of nutrient solution irrigated