Can't hide

Before the week's vacation was over, Duan Zhuo flew back to Nancheng first, and when he arrived at the airport, he called Wang Ye again.

Before that, he only heard that Duan Zhihong went to a community drug rehabilitation center for detoxification, but the specific location and current situation were unclear. He still wanted to know why Duan Zhihong took drugs repeatedly.

It's not a working day, and the call is connected quickly.

Duan Zhuo got on the high-speed rail back to school and asked, "Do you have time today? Can you take me to a community drug rehabilitation center?"

Wang Ye paused, and said in a regretful voice, "He is not in the drug rehabilitation center now."

"Where did that go?"

"in hospital."

Duan Zhuo's heart skipped a beat.

After meeting Wang Ye, Duan Zhuo found out that Duan Zhihong's illness had deteriorated rapidly in the past half a year. His kidney type failed twice, and his disease was in the advanced stage. He had to rely on the hospital's equipment to maintain his breathing.

"The staff in the community told me that your dad barely talked after he entered, ate little food, and didn't participate in any activities." Wang Ye drove Duan Zhuo to the hospital. His own will to survive is not strong."

Duan Zhuo leaned on the co-pilot, looking out at the sky through the car window, the clouds were lead gray, low and thick, the wind rolled up the withered and yellow leaves on the roadside, within an hour, there should be heavy rain.

Last year, Duan Zhihong, who went back to the island to see him and fell ill, also had such a gloomy day, which seemed to herald a new kind of ominousness.

It was two o'clock in the afternoon when we arrived at the hospital. Duan Zhuo followed Wang Ye into the corridor full of the smell of disinfectant, went up the stairs, and walked a long way. After pushing open the door of the safe passage, he looked up and saw the big characters in the intensive care area. .

After consulting the medical staff, Duan Zhuo and Wang Ye were brought into the ward together.

Even though he had made enough mental preparations, Duan Zhuo was quite shocked when he saw Duan Zhihong.

Duan Zhihong is like a refugee who has not had food for several weeks. He is completely thin and out of shape. His thin, wrinkled and freckled skin clings to his bones, his eyes are dull and deeply sunken, and his teeth are black because of the The collapse of the skin becomes extruded.

A little over 1.8 meters tall, I don't know if he still has ninety kilograms. Although he is wearing an oxygen mask on his face at this time, it seems that every breath is very laborious, and he will lose his breath at any time.

"How could he do this?"

Duan Zhuo looked at Duan Zhihong when he was talking, but Duan Zhihong didn't seem to hear them enter the door, closed his eyes and turned to the ceiling, without any reaction, wondering if he was asleep.

The doctor who came in together said: "He can't eat by himself, and he vomits when he eats. We are already giving him egg whites."

Duan Zhuo approached the head of the bed, bent down and yelled, Duan Zhihong finally opened his eyes, a hand like dead wood stretched out from the quilt, and touched Duan Zhuo's fingers.

The pale lips moved, but no sound came out, but Duan Zhuo could recognize the mouth shape.

He is saying sorry.

"Why do you still smoke when you know you're sorry?" Duan Zhuo couldn't forget the incident a few months ago. If it wasn't for the help of his sponsor, he would have been persuaded to quit by the national team.Not only did he not participate in the competition, but he also had to bear foreign debts. He couldn't forgive Duan Zhihong at all.

But seeing Duan Zhihong's half-dead appearance now, and hearing this sorry, he couldn't say the curse words out.

It was only at this moment that he discovered that resentment and compassion can exist at the same time.

Duan Zhuo looked at the needle on his arm, and sighed: "Why don't you want to live a good life? You've already come out."

Duan Zhihong was so angry that he could no longer speak like an ordinary person. Duan Zhuo only saw his dry lips move, and then he began to pant and cough, as if something was stuck in his throat.

This cough lasted for a long time, with the help of the nurse, he spit out a soft, bloody thing, Duan Zhuo almost vomited, turned his head to the other side.

Duan Zhuo couldn't have a normal communication with him, so he went out with Wang Ye not long after.

"How long has he been in this situation?" Duan Zhuo asked.

Wang Ye took out a cigarette from his pocket, took out one and held it in his mouth. Without lighting it, he said vaguely, "It's been about a week since he passed out. I didn’t call you, and sent him to the hospital directly, and the doctor said that the main reason for his fall was cerebral hemorrhage.”

The rain was dense and fell obliquely, and a hazy mist floated on the ground in the distance.

Duan Zhuo and Wang Ye didn't bring umbrellas, they stood under the eaves, waiting for the rain to subside.

"Then is it still useful to have a kidney transplant?"

Wang Ye said, "He couldn't bear it physically."

Regarding the illness, there is no follow-up after talking here, but Duan Zhuo has already understood that Duan Zhihong is now like a patient with terminal cancer, who is hanging on his breath by the equipment in the hospital, and he may die at any time.

Duan Zhuo's shoes were wet from the rain, he didn't pay attention, Wang Ye pulled him back a step, and lit the cigarette.

"Actually, leaving is also a relief for your father."

Duan Zhuo knew that Wang Ye was trying to comfort him, but just as no one came to this world voluntarily, no one would leave voluntarily, they were just pushed into a corner by life, and there was no possibility of struggle.

In the final analysis, it was because Duan Zhihong took the drug for the first time more than ten years ago. If he hadn't been addicted at that time, his family would not have gone bankrupt, his mother would not have committed suicide due to depression, and he had a normal family like other classmates.

But then he might not think of coming to Nancheng, meeting Jiang Sui, or joining the swimming team. Duan Zhuo couldn't tell whether he should resent Duan Zhihong or thank him.

"Life is still pretty amazing."

"Yes," Wang Ye followed with emotion, "Many things are destined to be good, just get used to it."

Duan Zhuo turned his head and glanced at him, guessing that among the many things, Wang Ye's regret should be included.

Since Duan Zhihong transferred to the community detoxification center, the rented house was also withdrawn, and Duan Zhuo returned to the student apartment.

It is still the same as before leaving, the only change is that there is an extra person in the bed next to Cheng Ziyao.

The apartment building was very quiet, and the room was so quiet that he could hear his own breathing. Duan Zhuo tidied up his desk and began to listen to the online class.In order to prepare for the competition, he missed a lot of courses, and he didn't even take the final exam. The counselor said that he should make up the subjects that should be tested when the school starts.

On the third day of reviewing, he suddenly received a call from Wang Ye, telling him to go to the hospital as soon as possible. Duan Zhihong seemed to be dying.

Zhuo just got up during the call time, only brushed his teeth, and went straight to the hospital without even taking care of his hair.

Duan Zhihong suddenly began to vomit blood after drinking some soy milk. It was less than two hours after the doctor gave the critical illness notice to Duan Zhihong's departure.

When Duan Zhuo arrived at the hospital, the doctor was busy resuscitating him. When the doctor walked out of the operating room, he was gone.

Duan Zhuo didn't even see Duan Zhihong's last glance.

"Did he say anything before he left?" Duan Zhuo asked the nurse.

The nurse shook her head and said, "Sorry."

It was the first time for Duan Zhuo to experience such a thing. After saying goodbye to the body, he didn't know what to do. It was Wang Ye who told him to contact the crematorium to take the person to be cremated.

"Is there any relative in the family that you want to inform?" Wang Ye asked.

Duan Zhuo shook his head and said, "No."

It was only after answering this question that Duan Zhuo suddenly realized a terrible thing. In this world, he no longer has any relatives.He became a ship drifting in the ocean, a weed in the desert.

"I still have some things belonging to your father at home, why don't we burn them together?" Wang Ye asked.

"What else?"

"A few old clothes. The landlord sorted them out last time. Because they were not in season, I didn't send them to the drug rehabilitation center."

Duan Zhuo got into Wang Ye's car and went back to the community. When he walked to the door, he was greeted by the golden gradient. He hadn't seen him for more than a year, and it became fatter.Duan Zhuo sat on the sofa in the living room and waited, it jumped onto his lap recklessly, rubbed against his arms, and smelled the scent on his body.

Duan Zhuo stroked its fluff lightly, his eyes swept across the living room, there was no trace of anyone other than Wang Ye in this house, and what Duan Zhuo was wearing on his feet was not the pair of oversized slippers, but disposable shoe covers .

I heard from Coach He that He Xun moved to Beijing with his fiancée's family, and it seems that he hasn't been here for a long time.

Wang Ye went downstairs carrying an oversized gray handbag, which contained several autumn cardigans, trousers, and a pair of old leather shoes.

Wang Ye handed him a brown paper envelope: "The landlord found this in a drawer in your father's room. I didn't open it. It should be for you."

The envelope felt very thick, Duan Zhuo carefully tore it open, and saw a stack of change and a piece of A4 paper, the first line read: "For my son".

Duan Zhuo never expected that Duan Zhihong would leave such a suicide note.

The handwriting on the letter is correct, it should be written by Duan Zhihong.

By the time you read this letter, I should be gone.As you know, I smoked again and I thought you were going to be disappointed, but this time was unlike any previous one.

Of course, if you want to blame me, I think it should be.

I didn't fulfill my responsibility as a father. From the moment I was imprisoned, I knew that I had lost everything. I had no chance to do it again, and I didn't deserve your care and trust.

Every day in prison, I hope that I can die peacefully, just like your mother, I have tried many methods, hitting my head against the wall; cutting my own artery with a sharp stone; even sneaking up on the police officer to take his hand in the gun, but all failed.

The moment I walked out of the prison gate, I was thinking, should I buy a sharper knife, cut my own throat, or jump from the roof, but I saw you, and you said you would go back and make me a meal Eat, buy new clothes.

Later, my thinking changed, from "how to get rid of it quickly" to "how to survive".

I went to the shipyard to move the goods, and I slept on the shelf at noon. I often dreamed of you and your mother.When you were still in your mother's womb, you were naughty, and if I touched you lightly, you would kick people.When you were a child, you liked to listen to my storytelling, and you were willing to sleep only if your mother and I hugged you.You got the first place in the school exam, but you don't want a reward. You just want me to stay with you at home for a day.

You are a good boy, you have been since childhood, but I am not a qualified father, nor a good husband.

Thinking of these, I feel infinite guilt, self-blame, and annoyance. If I were given a chance to do it all over again, I would rather continue to run transportation at the shipyard than open an entertainment city.

When I wake up, it's too late, I can't change my messy life, and I can't make up for my mistakes. You accept me, but I get sick and become your burden. Maybe this is God's punishment for a guilty person. man's real punishment.

The money in the envelope is all my savings, and all the money in WeChat has also been withdrawn.Don't worry, these are all saved after I got out of prison. They are clean. It is very easy to set up a stall in the shopping mall. At most, I can earn [-] a day.

If only I had found out about this business sooner.

I saved these, of course, not to make you sad for me, because this is what a father should do, I owe you all the time, I want to do something for you as much as possible before I die.

Although I have been doing dialysis recently, I can still feel that death is getting closer to me. My hands often don’t work, I can’t do things well, I can’t eat, and I don’t want to spend money and energy on treatment.I thought of a way to leave happily.

I won't be in pain, don't worry.

The last thing I want to say is that I am happy for you to see that you have found a heart-to-heart friend at school. I also wish you smooth sailing in your studies and career in the future. You can find someone you like, form your own family, and be healthy, safe, and happy. Live this life happily.

This letter was written at the beginning of the year, a week before the hot search incident broke out.

Duan Zhihong overdosed on drugs and had hallucinations. He thought he would die, but he didn't expect to be rescued by the police and medical staff.

Seeing the crumpled old cash in the envelope, the tears that had been hanging in Duan Zhuo's eyes finally fell, soaking the paper, the last signature on the envelope melted away little by little, and the handwriting became blurred.

He actually failed to say "It's okay" before Duan Zhihong left.

Family love is the most easily overlooked emotion in this world. Everyone takes its existence for granted. Only when it is completely lost, the love of family members will emerge from the details.

Jiang Sui didn't know the news of Duan Zhihong's death until the third day. At that time, Duan Zhuo just sent Duan Zhihong's ashes back to the island's Guilin Garden, a public cemetery specially used to house local residents.

"He left me a letter." Duan Zhuo spoke with a distinct nasal voice, as if he had been crying, "If I hadn't seen that letter, I don't think I would be so sad."

How to comfort a bereaved person has been a big problem since ancient times.It's not like falling out of love, you can get a new one, and it's not like being unemployed, you can find another way out.

To die is to lose completely.

After being quiet for a while, Duan Zhuo said in a very low voice, "I don't have a family anymore, and I won't have any from now on."

Jiang Sui said, "I'm going to get angry when you say that."

"Ok?"

"Am I not part of your family?"

Duan Zhuo finally smiled: "You are my lover."

"On the legal level, your lover is one of your family members. Although we have not registered marriage yet, we will definitely in the future. When you reach the legal marriage age, we will go abroad to register. I will fulfill As a husband's duty, treat you well."

Duan Zhuo was overwhelmed by the sudden wedding invitation, and hadn't put forward any amendments to the word "husband", Jiang Sui continued: "Find a suitable time, I will explain our relationship to my family, they may I will object, but this will not affect my liking for you. Just like I fell and got injured, but it does not affect my love for short track speed skating. I will overcome emotional difficulties as I overcome injuries, so You don't have to worry that I will leave you. Although my name is Jiang Sui, I am not casual, I only do what I like, and I will only be with people I like in the future."

Although the confession is impromptu, the thoughts contained in it seem to be well thought out, sincere and passionate.

Marriage, obtaining a certificate, things that Duan Zhuo didn't even dare to think about, but Jiang Sui said it in such a sure way. Apart from shock and joy, there was also a little bit of annoyance. Such a confession did not come from Duan Zhuo. It came out of Zhuo Mouth.

The spring and autumn seasons in Nancheng are extremely short, especially in the past few years, the alternation of seasons has almost disappeared. Two consecutive rainstorms swept away the last trace of summer heat. In a blink of an eye, the whole city entered a state of ice, and the temperature dropped precipitously. , dropped from more than 20 degrees to single digits.People in the circle of friends who went out in short-sleeved clothes the day before changed into warm cotton clothes the next day.

Jiang Sui was no exception. When he returned to the dormitory after training, he turned on the air conditioner.

The temperature displayed on the remote control was still the temperature adjusted a few days ago, air-conditioning, 23 degrees, and he shivered and switched to warm air.

Turn on the video as usual, and was quickly connected, Duan Zhuo was already guarding on the bed.

Jiang Sui took a sip of hot cocoa and said, "Didn't I tell you last time that the World Cup schedule might have to be changed, and now the superiors say no, the first stop is still in Shanghai, and the competition will be held for five days from the 20th to the 22nd. I should arrive in Shanghai two days in advance, and if you want to come over then, you can take the high-speed train, it only takes more than half an hour, which is very fast."

"Ah? From the 20th to the 22nd..." Duan Zhuo looked very embarrassed, "I just have an exam and I have to make up a paper, so I don't have time to go."

"That's it..." Jiang Sui was a little disappointed, but he still tried his best to control his expression and didn't let his emotions show. "Then you take the exam first. Anyway, there are other things after this competition. Don't worry."

Duan Zhuo looked at the calendar and said, "It happens to be Sunday after the game. If you take a break, shall we hang out in Shanghai?"

"Hurrah."

On the afternoon of NO.18, under the leadership of the team leader and coaches, the short track speed skating team flew from Beijing to Shanghai.

For the first stop, China, as the host, arranged for athletes from various countries a four-star business hotel near the gymnasium. Although it is a double room, the accommodation conditions are much better than the dormitory building at the base.

Jiang Sui and Cheng Ziyao were assigned to a room. As soon as they walked in, they could smell a faint scent of flowers. It was not inferior aromatherapy, but the base note of perfume. Jiang Sui couldn't wait to push the luggage aside, and flew to Big bed.

Everything here is fine, but the mattress is too soft. The doctor said that his waist cannot sleep on a soft bed.

Turning over, he sent Duan Zhuo a location, reported his itinerary for a few days, and finally sent a voice saying: "The phone may be confiscated after the meeting tonight, let's kiss first."

Cheng Ziyao rolled his eyes when he offered a kiss in the air, and he glanced at the message on his phone and said, "The coach circled you in the group, saying that he will go to his room to find him early in the morning, and he will take you and another senior brother to go with him." Hospital."

This time, he will play against the South Korean team. Jiang Sui found out through the Internet that his old rival An Junxian will also come. If there is no accident, they will meet again on the 500-meter track.

Back then, Ahn Jun-hyun's kick caused him to lose the championship, and he was almost paralyzed. This time, he has to win back this breath no matter what.

In order to ensure his performance on the field, he decided to take another shot to block it.

After returning the message to the coach, Jiang entourage dragged out the mat that had been prepared from the suitcase and spread it on the floor, and threw the pillow on the bed.

Just then, the doorbell of the room rang.