Can't hide

Jiang Yu took Duan Zhuo's hand and brought him to the dining table.

The family used a large round table with a glass turntable, and there was no emphasis on seating arrangements. There were empty seats on the left and right sides of Jiang Sui, but Duan Zhuo's brain was short-circuited at this time.

Although the heartbeat that had stalled just now had calmed down, the tingling feeling of being hit by the electric current was deeply engraved in his mind, and he couldn't get rid of it.He thought that this should be a physiological reaction, but if it was a boy's snort and voice that caused this physiological reaction, it would be too weird.

With a complicated and evasive mood, Duan Zhuo took a seat one space away from Jiang Sui.

Zhao Ruizhi went out with the last dish of vegetables, and asked with a smile, "Why didn't you two sit together?"

Duan Zhuo raised his eyes, facing Jiang Sui's bewildered expression, he didn't know how to answer, but fortunately, Jiang Yu popped up and said, "I want to sit among them."

Zhao Ruizhi also sat down: "Aren't you full at your classmate's house?"

"I'm full, but seeing the dishes you cook, I'm a little hungry again."

In this family, no one could resist the child's sweet tongue, Zhao Ruizhi smiled so much that the corners of his eyes were curved, and two small lines appeared.

Zhao Ruizhi's specialty dish is Jiwei Shrimp in Honey Sauce, which is placed in front of Duan Zhuo, but it's not just Jiwei Shrimp, Duan Zhuo feels that all the dishes are biased towards his seat.

"Auntie doesn't go to the kitchen very much. She hasn't done it for a long time. I don't know how it tastes. You should try everything first."

Jiang Junhui also said: "Eat more of whichever you like, don't be polite, treat it as your own home."

Duan Zhuo thought again that night in the dormitory, Jiang Sui lifted the lids of many kinds of meals and placed them in front of him, asking him to taste each of them. It turns out that tenderness is contagious like this.

While feeling warm, there is also a faint sense of loss. This is someone else's parents, someone else's family atmosphere.

While eating, he secretly prayed that Jiang Sui's parents would not ask questions about his parents, because it would inevitably involve talking about his father in prison, and he was ashamed to speak out, and he didn't want to lie to them.

But the reality is always disappointing. In the quiet atmosphere, Jiang Junhui suddenly asked: "Then what do your parents do?"

Duan Zhuo lowered his head, staring at a bit of sauce in the rice bowl and said, "My mother committed suicide when I was seven years old."

"Ah?" Zhao Ruizhi opened his mouth and was stunned for a second before asking, "How could this be?"

Jiang Sui also paused when he picked up vegetables, this was the first time he heard Duan Zhuo mention his family.

It's not like he wasn't curious before. Once, he asked Duan Zhuo's family where they lived, and Duan Zhuo only responded vaguely with the words "living in the country", and quickly changed the subject. He was very self-aware. No more questions.

"Because something happened to my dad and he was arrested by the police, and the family owed a lot of debts. She was under too much pressure and committed suicide when she couldn't think about it."

Maybe it's because it's been too long, when Duan Zhuo said this, he was unexpectedly calm and frank, and he didn't avoid any eyes.

But in fact, there is no need for any self-protective psychological construction. The eyes of Jiang Sui's family are full of surprise and sympathy, and there is no trace of contempt.

Only Jiang Yu, who was full of curiosity for knowledge, asked: "Then why did the police arrest your father?"

"Because his father made a small mistake, the police uncle will take him there to educate him." Zhao Ruizhi turned the topic back to the dining table with discernment, "Xiaobao, add some drinks to Brother Ah Zhuo's cup."

Duan Zhuo chewed the rice carefully, thinking of his mother.

The time she spent with him was too short, and the memory of her childhood was very shallow. He only remembered some pictures full of visual impact.

One rainy night, Zhang Sinan went to his bed, turned off the light for him, and then suddenly strangled him like crazy.

He didn't fall asleep, he felt pain, felt difficulty breathing, trembling with fear, opened his eyes and patted her arm desperately, Zhang Sinan was not only indifferent, but pinched him even harder.

He wanted to beg for mercy, but he couldn't make a sound, just when he thought he was about to suffocate, Zhang Sinan suddenly let go of him, squatted on the bedside, kept saying sorry to him, and kissed his forehead , stroked his cheek.

In the chaos and shock, Duan Zhuo tasted the taste of tears.

Zhang Sinan said a lot of things afterwards, but he couldn't remember them, because his throat was so sore at that time that it was difficult to swallow. The pain made him think that he would not be able to eat in the future.

But he remembered that he said it's okay, mom, can you not scare me in the future.

——At that time, he really thought that Zhang Sinan was playing games with him.

When did you realize that things were not easy?He also couldn't remember clearly, his memory and dream were mixed together, he could vaguely recall some, understand a little, from speculation to confirmation.

Another thing I can think of is the day of Dragon Boat Festival, when Zhang Sinan said he would take him to fish for lobsters, he excitedly ran to dig earthworms in the soil, but Zhang Sinan told him mysteriously that he could fish without earthworms, and she had other ways .

Duan Zhuo followed Zhang Sinan with a bucket in one hand and a bamboo pole in the other.

After the rain, the land is extremely muddy, and every step on it leaves deep footprints, and the tin buckets clang all the way.

After finally reaching the shore, Zhang Sinan started to cry again, so Duan Zhuo had no choice but to step forward and wipe her tears.

Zhang Sinan wanted to take him away countless times, but in the end he kept him.

Jiang Sui noticed that Duan Zhuo's mood was not up when he entered the door, so he wrapped some kimchi and chicken breast with lettuce and handed it over: "Try this, it's delicious."

Duan Zhuo stuffed it into his mouth and was amazed by the complex taste.

Jiang Yu yelled to eat honey-flavored prawns, because he didn't want to peel the prawns by hand, so he flattered both left and right sides, one brother at a time, and his voice was soft and sweet.

Jiang Sui didn't eat this set at all, and turned the shrimp to her: "Brother Ah Zhuo is a guest, you can't trouble him like this, if you want to eat, peel it yourself."

"It doesn't matter, I have to eat anyway." Duan Zhuo picked up a few shrimps, peeled them in two or three strokes, put them into Jiang Yu's cartoon bowl and asked, "Are these enough?"

Jiang Yu nodded with a sense of propriety, but it was Jiang Sui who cheekily snatched two from her bowl and stuffed them into his mouth at lightning speed. .

"My brother peeled it for me!"

Jiang Sui enjoyed the booty triumphantly, with the corners of his lips curled up, completely forgetting his position just now, and urged: "Then you can act like a baby with him again."

Jiang Yu was furious: "Why don't you let yourself go."

Jiang Sui said very self-aware: "I'm not as cute as you, and my voice is not as sweet as yours. It's useless to say it."

Jiang Yu guarded the last two shrimps in the bowl: "You haven't sprinkled it before, so how do you know it's useless? Dad said that you have to try everything first before making a conclusion."

Duan Zhuo lowered his head and peeled the shrimp, glanced secretly at Jiang Sui from the corner of his eye, wondering whether Jiang Sui would act like a baby to him for a while, whether he should peel it or not.

But Jiang Sui just said in a very unbeatable tone: "Hurry up and eat you, be careful that the remaining two are gone."

Jiang Yu didn't care to wrap the shrimp in sauce, so he gulped it into his mouth.

Duan Zhuo put the peeled shrimps into her small bowl again.

Zhao Ruizhi saw it, and hurriedly said: "You should eat more yourself, don't spoil her, and quickly taste how this chicken soup tastes."

Generally speaking, the process of this meal was very relaxed and pleasant for Duan Zhuo, there were no blunt topics, only proper care, everything was so natural, so natural that he seemed to have lived in this family for many years.

After the meal, Duan Zhuo helped to bring the bowls and chopsticks into the kitchen. Zhao Ruizhi just let him put them down. There is a dishwasher at home, but Duan Zhuo felt that there was still something to do, so he peeled the fruits on the counter that hadn’t been cleaned in time. , cut into pieces.

"I was really sorry just now." Zhao Ruizhi said suddenly, "It reminded you of something unpleasant."

Duan Zhuo shook his head again and again: "It's okay, it's normal, everyone will be curious."

"Your mother died because of depression?"

"I was too young at the time, so I didn't know it very well, but thinking about it now, it should be like this."

"It must have been hard since I was a child without my mother by my side."

Duan Zhuo didn't say anything, because he felt that no one would be able to empathize with this kind of suffering even if he said it.

Zhao Ruizhi showed the eyes of someone who had passed by. She peeled the lychee and put it on a plate, with a gentle voice: "Have you ever complained about your mother?"

Duan Zhuo hesitated for a moment, but nodded honestly. When he understood why Zhang Sinan strangled him and why he took him to the river, he was angry.

She gave birth to him, but she only treated him like a toy, she wanted him as much as she wanted, and threw him away whenever she wanted.

He wondered more than once why she did it.

The answer may be that he is afraid of death and wants him to be with him, or it may be that he hates him, hates him as Duan Zhihong's son, and regrets giving birth to him.

However, Zhao Ruizhi gently pinched his shoulder and said: "It may sound a bit old-fashioned to you to say 'a child is a piece of meat that falls from the mother', you have to believe that there is no mother who does not love her child. "

Zhao Ruizhi's tone was too gentle, which made Duan Zhuo have an inexplicable desire to confide.

"But... she wants to take me to commit suicide."

This is the first time that Duan Zhuo shared this long-buried secret with others, because even though Zhang Sinan's last time in the world was full of crime and violence, he still wanted to protect her from outsiders.

Only Zhao Ruizhi, he felt that she understood Zhang Sinan and Zhang Sinan, even better than him.

"I think she wants to take you away because she loves you so much and can't bear to leave you alone in this world." Zhao Ruizhi looked at him sideways, "Actually, depression patients think differently from us. , they see death as a relief."

The past cognition was suddenly overturned, Duan Zhuo froze in place, blinking.

"Actually, protecting children is a mother's instinct." Zhao Ruizhi smiled slightly, "She loved you when she was sick and wanted to take you away, and loved you when she was awake, so she kept you here."

She took him to stand in the perspective of a mother, and glimpsed another kind of truth.

Duan Zhuo has a very sweet melon in his mouth, but he still can't resist the sour feeling in his heart. He has misunderstood Zhang Sinan's love until now.

This may be a kind of compensation from the heavens, allowing Zhao Ruizhi to speak up for the dead Zhang Sinan, asking him to forgive her sins, and also relieve him of his many years of illness.

"Thank you, Auntie. I feel much more at ease after talking with you."

"It's good to be in a good mood." Zhao Ruizhi patted him on the back. "In the future, I will come over to play frequently during the holidays. Auntie welcomes you at any time. Our family likes to be lively. Especially Er Bao, who is a little crazy, usually she will I peeled the shrimp myself."

"I see." Duan Zhuo said with a smile.

"You are talking bad about me! I heard it!" Jiang Yu who was in the living room suddenly howled.

Zhao Ruizhi and Duan Zhuo looked at each other with a smile, and walked out with fruit: "We are praising you for being cute."

Jiang Sui picked up a crumpled club leaflet by the coffee table, glanced at it, and asked Duan Zhuo: "Why do you still have this? Want to sign up?"

Duan Zhuo replied indifferently: "They sent it, but they kept forgetting to throw it away."

Jiang Sui asked again: "Then can you swim?"

"Of course I will." Duan Zhuo drew a circle in the palm of his hand, "My home is on a small island, surrounded by seas on all sides. Because they are worried about children drowning, the parents divide into two groups. The first group does not allow children to go near the sea. The first group will teach children how to swim in advance, our family belongs to the latter, and I probably have been able to do it since I was in the big class."

"Wow! You are amazing!" Jiang Yu's eyes were full of admiration, "Can you teach me? I really want to learn to swim too!"

Duan Zhuo almost agreed, but suddenly thought that children value promises the most. He was sad for a whole week because Duan Zhihong promised him to go to the amusement park but failed. If he failed, Jiang Yu might be like He was just as disappointed as before.

He didn't dare to make a promise lightly, and added conditions very strictly: "It can only be done after I have a vacation."

Jiang Sui suddenly said, "Can we play one against two?"

"Huh?" Duan Zhuo didn't understand why.

Jiang Sui pointed to himself and then to the second treasure, with eager eyes: "We signed up together, and I want to learn too."

Duan Zhuo squinted at him: "Aren't you a professional athlete, you can't swim?"

Jiang Sui grinned: "I'm very happy, in your perception, athletes are actually all-round creatures."

Learning to swim is not something he does on a whim. As early as the beginning of the training class, the teacher said that the school has listed swimming as a compulsory course. If he fails to pass the examination by the senior year, the school will delay the distribution of graduation certificates.

Duan Zhuo raised his eyebrows: "I can teach children for free, but adults need teaching fees."

"Baojiao Baohui?"

"That's for sure," Duan Zhuo added after finishing speaking, "If you really can't, it can only be a problem with your brain."

At ten o'clock, the pendulum in the living room rang twice, Jiang Yu went back to sleep, and Duan Zhuo also got up to say goodbye. He booked a room in a nearby express hotel and walked there for 10 minutes.

After changing back to his shoes and walking a few steps, he raised his heel and took a look. The degummed and cracked parts were actually glued together with glue, and they were very firm.

His first reaction was that Zhao Ruizhi helped to do it, because she was considerate and thoughtful, and she had tidied up the shoe cabinet.

But when he thanked Zhao Ruizhi, Zhao Ruizhi said, "It was Dabao who made it."

Duan Zhuo was shocked and wondered when Jiang Sui was attached to him. They stayed together all night, and he didn't even go to the bathroom.

It must have been when cutting fruit in the kitchen.

Duan Zhuo turned his face away, Jiang Sui was leaning on the door frame, the corners of his mouth were slightly raised, and he stared at him with eyes expecting to be praised.

Duan Zhuo thanked him, but Jiang Suinu pursed his lips, seemingly dissatisfied: "Just thank you? No specific actions?"

Although he knew that the other party was joking, but Duan Zhuo walked in the courtyard, he still thought about it seriously.

"Then you help me buy a pair of swimming trunks, and it will be considered as tuition fees."

Jiang Sui finally grinned again, made an "OK" gesture, and sent Duan Zhuo out of the gate of the community. He urged: "When you arrive at the hotel, send me a message. If you can't sleep, you can chat with me."

"I won't lose sleep."

It was not until Duan Zhuo arrived at the hotel that he realized that he would not be unable to sleep, he said it early.

The single room in this express hotel has no windows, and there is a musty smell typical of the wet rainy season. The sheets and quilts are not completely dry to the touch, and there are still strands of hair that haven't been cleaned under the pillow.

Forget about the lack of air circulation and the inconvenience of taking a shower. The most important thing is that his room is too close to the subway station. As soon as he lay down, he felt that the subway was rumbling past him, and he couldn't calm down at all.

Finally, when the subway was out of service and there was no sound, a man and a woman next door started a late-night show. Duan Zhuo was forced to listen to the protests from the bed board for a few minutes, and suddenly remembered an incident that happened when he was a child.

At that time, it was almost the same as now, and it was just the beginning of autumn. He entered elementary school from kindergarten, and after class in the evening, Duan Zhihong drove to the school gate to pick him up.At that time, everyone called Duan Zhihong not "Boss Poison" but "Boss Duan".

Duan Zhihong and his brother run an entertainment city in partnership. Duan Zhuo can go in and out of any corner freely, but he only likes to stay in the private room on the third floor, because there is no deafening music there, and there are cartoons to watch.

I don’t know what button was pressed that day, the TV switched to a strange channel, a Japanese movie was shown on the screen, a geisha in a kimono was dancing, a man with a beard hugged her from behind, and put his hand into her clothes In the movie, the vulgar plot and the eclectic scenes shocked his vision, and he stared at it stupidly, forgetting to change the channel.

Duan Zhihong pushed the door in with a pile of food, frightening him, but instead of scolding him, Duan Zhihong asked him with a smile: "Stinky boy, do you understand?"

Duan Zhuo finished watching the movie while eating snacks, and just like that, his sexual enlightenment time was advanced by many years.

The memories related to Duan Zhihong seem to have happened in the clubhouse.Once, he watched Duan Zhihong pick up a wine bottle and smash it on the head of a man, blood flowed all over the ground, the man knelt on the ground begging for mercy, and said something he couldn't understand.

At that time, he hadn't established a correct concept of right and wrong and values. He mistaken Duan Zhihong's recklessness for bravery and brutality for majesty. He admired him very much, and even once wanted to become such a hero.

It's hard to imagine, if Duan Zhihong hadn't been arrested back then, and the scale of the entertainment city had expanded, would he be doing the same thing as Duan Zhihong today and be proud of it.

That night, his thoughts were disturbed, and he remembered many old things. He didn't fall asleep until after two o'clock in the morning, but he didn't sleep for a few hours, and was "woke up" by the early subway.

He lay on the bed and looked at the subway timetable, thinking that if Jiang Sui's biological clock was on time, he would have woken up by this time, and they could have breakfast together later, and then go back to school together.

He clicked into WeChat, entered the words "Do you want to be together", and quickly deleted it.

He can't take the initiative to send Jiang Sui a message like this, otherwise Jiang Sui must think that he really wants to have breakfast with him.