Morbid domestication

Feng Jue went to the balcony to make a phone call, probably to Uncle Zhang. Although I deliberately lowered my voice, I still heard some vague words.

The lights on the balcony were not turned on, and he was only wearing a thin shirt and standing in the shadows. His figure has become much thinner. It seems that he has indeed had a bad time during this time.

I stood in the bedroom and looked at the shadow outside the glass door in a daze. I thought I was crazy, I was abnormal, I must have suffered from insomnia for too long, or I was tortured to the point of unconsciousness by those endless dreams.

What Xu Tangyi said is right, a peaceful life has always been what I long for.

That being the case, I shouldn't continue to entangle with Feng Jue.

Zhang Bo's reason for asking me to keep Feng Jue is really unreasonable. I don't believe it. With Feng Jue's previous strength, even if he is really down and out and needs to find a place to lie dormant for a while, he should never come to me.

I knew this clearly in my heart, but not only did I not refute Zhang Bo's words, but I acquiesced in his leaving the seal here.

I told myself in my heart that I was only because of guilt, because a large part of the reason for the sealing formula was caused by me, so I took him in to make up for my fault and make me feel better.

But there is always a faint voice in my heart, telling me that this is not the case...

I lowered my eyes to look at Feng Jue's suitcase at my hand. The metal-colored suitcase glowed silver under the light, making people dizzy and confused. After a while, I gently put it in my pocket. Beside the bed, turn around and go out.

I went to the kitchen and cooked simple clear noodle soup. When Feng Jue came out, I had just brought the noodle bowl to the dining table.

He was standing a few meters away from me with an extremely complicated expression on his face.

"Yu Nian?"

He shouted, his voice seemed to be tentative, and he seemed to be confirming something.

For some reason, my heart felt sore and weak, and my eyes began to swell. I lowered my head, looked at the green onions floating on the noodle soup, and asked as calmly as possible.

"Want some noodles?"

There was a thunderclap or two outside, and the rain was beating the windows quickly and tightly, and the rain seemed to be getting heavier.

Feng Jue and I sat facing each other under the warm lighting of the restaurant, each with a bowl of steaming clear noodle soup in front of us.

This is not the first time Feng Jue and I have eaten together. On the contrary, we have eaten together too many times, but never once did my heart feel so peaceful.

When I was in the villa, I was always trembling, sensitive and suspicious, and I was always afraid that I would do something wrong again and make Feng Jue unhappy.

Later, when we were working together in City A, there were many opportunities to have dinner together, but I was too wary and calculating at that time.

In short, no moment is easy.

But it's different now, even though none of us spoke, we just ate the noodles in our bowls, the atmosphere was rare and peaceful.

After a while, Feng Jue put down his chopsticks.

He stared at me intently for a while, then suddenly said, "I'm looking for someone."

The hand on my face stopped, and my heart also jumped. I slowly raised my eyes to look at him: "Who are you looking for?"

Feng Jue's gaze fell on me, as if he wanted to see through me, I clenched my chopsticks lightly, subconsciously trying to avoid his gaze.

I can't tell what I'm nervous about, he's never looked at me like that before, Feng Jue used to always look calm and unhurried, as if everything was under his control, this kind of him always makes me more stressed, Involuntary tension.

Now he seems to be a different person, his eyes are no longer sharp, and they don't give people a sense of oppression. Occasionally, he will show a moment of blankness, which is the unique eyes of amnesiacs, and I am very familiar with it.

"I don't know." Feng Jue shook his head, he seemed a little distressed, after a pause he continued: "But I have to find him, I seem to owe that person a lot."

"You even forgot who he is, so how can you remember what you owe?" I put down my chopsticks, stared down at the cold bowl of noodles and let out a sigh of relief, my chest felt tight and uncomfortable.

My voice lowered unconsciously, and I continued, "Since I forgot, there's no need to remember it."

I have been entangled with Feng Jue for so long, he lied to me, humiliated me and hurt me, and because of my calculations, I fell into this situation, who owes whom more, I can't tell for a long time.

Maybe this is the best ending between us.

Because the memory-lost Feng Jue will not be attached to the mediocre Yu Nian, our relationship should end here, just like I always hoped, everything should be back on track.

"I don't want to forget him."

I heard Feng Jue continue to say in a low voice: "I want to make up for him."

Feng Jue's two simple sentences were like a drumstick, hitting my chest numb for a while, I wanted to say something, but I couldn't.

"Yu Nian."

Feng Jue called my name, I raised my head to look at him, and found that he was staring at me for a moment, as if trying not to miss any expression on my face.

"You're the one I'm looking for, aren't you?" he asked.

I stared at him for a while, suppressed the turbulent emotions in my heart, and said two words bluntly.

"No."

The author says:

Sorry for the shortness, I haven't been in a good state lately.

This book is also in the final stage, very stuck.

I will adjust it as soon as possible, and if it goes well, there are still [-] to [-] to finish writing.