love letter to you

I took a bath at night, and I was much more awake. Looking at myself in the mirror, the collarbone tattoo was on April 1998, 4. It hurt a lot when I got the tattoo, but I don’t regret it. This is the proof that I loved you.We kissed each other in the middle of the night, and we were lingering until death. You looked at me with your eyes open, 'Yangyang, today is so passionate. 'I laughed,' so beautiful' I saw me in your eyes, with all kinds of charms, like a different person, did I look like this before?It's the first time I'm like this with you, I didn't dare to open my eyes before because I was shy, but today I want to see how you are addicted to desire, it's really attractive.I said 'say you love me' 'I love you' we kissed hard, touched each other, you kissed my collarbone for a long time, I think you should be proud to see the proof that I love you. 'I want to kill you' I sat on you, clasped your hand with one hand, touched your face with the other, and said against your mouth, you froze for a moment, then smiled, and said 'my pleasure' we Looking at each other, I hope to see a trace of affection in each other's eyes, but I can't see it, everything has changed, we are doing the most intimate things, talking the most cruel words, I am no longer me, and you are no longer It's you I know, we've all changed, or maybe it's just me.The next day, before you go to your little girlfriend's house, you showered, changed into new clothes, and cleaned yourself up, and I didn't speak during the process, I just looked at the phone, and I thought, I really do Sadly, what the hell am I doing here, I was wrong, I have always been wrong.I packed all my bags before you came back, I thought, I should go.You came very quickly, as if you felt something, you didn't take off your shoes and went to bed as usual, but sat and looked at me, and then a message came from your phone 'later we play video baby. 'Very sweet voice, really touching, I couldn't sit still, I pulled you and said, 'Take me to the hotel. You put down your phone with a look of astonishment and said to me, "Why, if you leave tomorrow, I'll take you off. It's late and it's not safe, and do you know how to take a car?" 'I touched your ear and prayed softly and said, 'Take me, hurry up. "Unexpected calm, I know, after today we are finished, I am forcing myself to go here, I can't do this anymore.We were very quiet on the way to the parking lot. You lit a cigarette and gave me one as well. Sitting in the car all the way, I couldn’t stop shaking and squeezed my hands tightly. You thought I was cold and closed the car window Okay, what should I do, what should I do, I won’t see you again, that’s it, we’ve been absurd for so long, is it going to end, it’s finally over.Before you left, I looked at your side face for a long time, and you stood there without moving. I was suddenly very reluctant. If there is no accident, it will be the last time. I only thought about you for a few minutes. After a while You say 'then I'm leaving. 'I nodded, I watched you slowly disappear in front of my eyes in the car, I stared in a daze in front of me, for a long, long time, until my eyes blurred.I don't remember how I spent that night. I just remember that I ate a bucket of instant noodles and then called my mother. She didn't know I was coming. I told my mother about our business and said You, I said I wanted to go home, but it was too late, there was no car, I said I missed you, my mother finally paid attention to my liking for girls, she choked up and said to me, "What will you do in the future, Yangyang, I worry about you. '