all i want is a man

When the moon is full, it will lose money, and when the water is full, it will overflow.The leisure time was shattered by a phone call from Xia Xuechen.

"Xiaochen, come back quickly. Something happened at home." The phone number belonged to Xia Xue, and the person who spoke was the neighbor, old man Zhang.Although he tried his best to hide his panic, Xia Xuechen still caught the ominousness from his tone.

"Uncle Zhang, is that my brother? What's wrong with my brother?" After a while of questioning, the man had already rushed under the bed and packed his things.

"Come back as soon as possible, your brother has me." Half urged, half comforted.

"Xiaochen, what's the matter?" Xiao Chuan was also busy packing his things. At this time, having more people would give him a little more peace of mind.

"My brother has something to do. I have to go home right away." There were tears and determination flashing.

"It's me." She pursed her lips and hugged.

After tidying up briefly, Xiao Chuan set out on the road with Xia Xuechen.No one knows what awaits them.Fear stems from the unknown.Old Uncle Zhang's words were calm on the surface, but there was no delay between the lines.The two of them were worried along the way, and their hearts were always hanging in mid-air.After Xia Xuechen received the call from Uncle Zhang, she began to swallow saliva non-stop, her face was pale, and her hands were tightly clutching the corners of her clothes.

At two o'clock in the morning on May 21, [-], Xia Xuechen finally arrived at the hospital.

The medical staff led him not to the ward, but to the morgue.Dressed in white cloth, a body.

"Brother—" With a wail, Xia Xuechen stopped swallowing, and stopped clutching the corners of her clothes with her hands, and began to tremble non-stop, her complexion turned a little paler due to the sudden drop in temperature.

He covered his eyes with trembling hands, and after a long time, he slowly moved away. At this moment, every second is the whole spring, summer, autumn and winter.Strings of tears flowed silently from his sad face, there was no crying, only tears kept flowing down.Strong emotions hit him like Mount Tai, his hands and feet were numb, his heart that was beating just a second ago was suffocated, his blood that was still boiling just a moment ago was coagulated, and he heard the sound of a sharp knife piercing his heart , followed by a "stab", the internal organs burst.He couldn't say a word, didn't even groan, his eyes were darkened, and he collapsed on the gray and cold concrete floor.

Without saying a word, Xiao Chuan tightly hugged the man who collapsed on the ground, and wrapped him in his coat.At this moment, it is a luxury to be hugged quietly and enjoy the warmth of another body.

Gradually, Xia Xuechen regained some consciousness, and the things in front of him seemed to be floating on water, because his eyes were full of tears.He still couldn't believe the facts in front of him. He was still on the phone with Xia Xue last night, and now Yin and Yang are separated forever. No one can admit this truth.However, the biting cold, the clean white room, the familiar body, and the strong smell of the potion all proved to him bluntly that everything was real.Whether he accepts it or not, the person named Xia Xue will never let him be called brother again.Wave after wave of indescribable pain hit him, glistening teardrops rolled in his eyes, rolled down his cheeks, dripped on the corners of his mouth, on his chest, and on the ground, but his pain was not at all caused by tears The loss is reduced by half.

"Uncle Zhang, how did my brother get there?" Xia Xuechen's words froze in the icy bungalow, and they were broken joint by joint in an instant.

"Xiaochen, please be sorry. Since you returned to school during the winter vacation, your brother has been working as a mason in a neighboring village. During the day, when he was laying bricks with mud on a three-meter-high support, he accidentally landed on his head and went straight to the ground. He fell down in the courtyard of the host's house in a daze. He usually works very carefully and is in good health. When he suddenly happened, everyone was very sad. The host immediately sent Xiaoxue to the hospital. Xiaoxue had no relatives around him, so I followed But, he left after a while." Uncle Zhang looked at Xia Xuechen with his big wet eyes, and after a long time, he lowered his eyes, and two lines of muddy tears ooze out.

"Brother—" The past years were vivid in his memory, Xia Xuechen stared at the familiar body, his eyes were red and swollen from crying, and the tears were still flowing.He didn't wipe it, and let the tears flow to his mouth, astringent.

"Did my brother leave anything to say?" Xia Xuechen blinked her blood-colored eyes and looked eagerly at Uncle Zhang. Even a single word was a great comfort.

"Xiao Chen, your brother left too suddenly." Uncle Zhang felt sad and kept wiping away his tears with his sleeve.

"Brother! Brother——Brother——" Xia Xuechen choked with grief, and lost her voice instantly, like an abandoned little beast, howling weakly in the wilderness late at night, with self-blame and regret mixed with the tragic injury.

Only Xia Xuechen knows the real reason for Xia Xue's sudden and long death.Xia Xue's words from the previous night were still clear: "You kissed a man, and you were hugged by a man. You didn't resist at all...Xiaochen, tell brother. Are you?"

The only hope in life was reduced to ashes, the greatest spiritual sustenance of life was reduced to nothing, and 23 years of forbearance and running around became a joke.

Xia Xue couldn't bear it.

Brother - I was wrong.As long as you can wake up, I would rather not fall in love with a man for the rest of my life.Brother, I'm sorry, I hurt you.You are only 23 years old, you haven't married a wife and had children, you haven't seen me rise to prominence, and you haven't waited for me to give you happiness.Brother, you have nothing, you are all for me.I'm so selfish, I'm so cruel, I know your expectations, but I still go my own way and go against your wishes.Brother, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.You just fell asleep.Move your eyes quickly!As long as you wake up, I promise anything.I don't need to love men, I don't need to be with Xiao Chuan, I can even marry a woman after graduation.Brother, wake up quickly.elder brother--

Staring at the male body under the long white cloth, Xia Xuechen prayed and prayed in his heart over and over again.One minute and one second, tick tock, those eyes fell asleep quietly.I was really wrong.Even if you spend the rest of your life, you can't escape the blame.Regret mixed with self-blame, like a mountain, overwhelming, and head-on, Xia Xuechen's eyes dimmed, and no sunlight, moonlight, or lamp could restore their eyesight.Xia Xuechen couldn't hear Xiao Chuan's screams and old man Zhang's comfort. He only saw their lips fluttering up and down, and then he lost consciousness.The man has passed away, and what is left to the living is probably only boundless pain, which Xia Xuechen can't confide with his whole life.

There is a new grave on the mountain of the village.

The sounds of suona, trumpets, and cymbals, mournful and mournful, are thin and long, floating in the mountains, casting a layer of mystery on the mountains.

The sounds of humming, wailing, and consolation, sometimes high and sometimes low, are intermingled. Those who did not join the funeral procession stood silently on both sides of the mountain path, solemn and lonely.The white paper money draws graceful dances in the air, like butterflies, fluttering and beautiful.Layers of loess rose from the team's white robes.

"Brother, you may rest in peace." She shook her head, and tears welled up in her dark eyes.

Another small mound not far away has long been neglected, and there are occasional unknown birds frolicking on it.

Falling in love with a certain place is often because there is someone you like living in a certain place.Now, gone.

Lin Yuan is gone, Xia Xue is gone.This village is still so peaceful, it seems that it has never changed.

There is a pair of eyes, there is a person, ignored.He also suffers, but he knows that his pain is nothing at all.Therefore, he silently endured or enjoyed it.Xiaochen, since I cannot legitimately share your pain and sorrow, then allow me to be your backing support.Xiao Chuan said this to himself.

Xia Xuechen's thin shoulders could no longer bear any more weight, even if it was love.Lin Yuan's voice and smile, and Xia Xue's thunderous snoring, wandered in his mind countless times. They all said forever, they all said they loved themselves, and they all said they wanted him to be happy.Now, those beautiful things have become the memories of another life, just like the bright moon in the water, beautiful and clear.

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