Go home, no rain, no sunshine

I started avoiding him.

I turned into a spider and hung under a big tree all day long, weaving a web, just like I have done for thousands of years.

But I know that no matter how much I try to hope that my heart will return to the time when I have no desires and no desires, I will never go back.

Once time passes, there is no possibility of reversing it. As is the case with memories, so is the nature of mind.

The scholar couldn't find me in human form, but he still insisted on waiting for me under the big tree every day, and didn't return until late at night.Whenever this happens, I close my eyes and pretend not to see him.But my senses still clearly describe his existence to me: his steady breathing, his robes blown by the wind, and the faint fragrance of ink from his body.

It is the taste of longing day and night.

But the more I miss him, the more my heart aches.A love with a fixed ending, Ruo Na Huang Lian, is extremely bitter.

Come on, I thought, back to the time when I didn't know you.

One day, the scholar stopped coming.I thought he had finally given up, and my heart felt a little relieved, but in an instant, I was overwhelmed by stronger and harsher feelings.But Qu'er flew over with a message.

"Mr. Private School is gone. I saw him leave with the merchant ship this morning."

These words were like a heavy hammer, hitting my heart hard.Instead of the ease and joy I thought I had, a strong panic hit my heart——

The scholar is gone!Never see him again!

A deadly silence followed the climax of terror.

A certain part of my heart seemed to be dead, it was empty, all vitality seemed to be far away from me, and my heart died like ashes.

A few days later, Xiangrui, who had left the valley, came back.

"A few days before your lover left, some strange people found him, and then he found a single general, and then left. There seems to be something hidden in it. Interesting~" He rubbed his chin, "Hey, you Rather than being immortal here, how about looking for Shan Jiang? Maybe there will be some surprises."

As soon as the words fell, I was two or three hundred steps away from him in human form.I ran to the neighboring village at a very fast speed, completely ignoring the surprised expressions of the villagers on the road.

"...He! Where did he go!" I easily found Shan Jiang's home, and when I saw him, I immediately shouted.

General Shan was chopping firewood, he was not surprised when he heard that, he just glanced at me indifferently, and continued with the movement in his hand.

"Don't worry, if things go well, you'll be back in about a few months."

"What if things fail?!" I keenly caught a few words.

"……die."

I don't know if it was because of his cool attitude, or because I was too afraid of the possible ending, I shouted angrily: "What is he going to do!" The voice also became slightly sharper.

"It's none of your business."

How can it be ignored, how can it be ignored!If he dies, then I...

Where do I have the strength to live?

I must know what happened.

"Shan Jiang," I called him, his voice became soft, like a dream: "Look into my eyes."

Under such temptation, Shan Jiang's eyes gradually became confused, he raised his head unconsciously, and met my eyes.

"Tell me exactly what happened. From beginning to end, in detail."

The most helpless thing in the world is that you have the power to reverse everything, but you cannot change it.

"Wen Jing was favored by the sixth prince because of his extraordinary talent back then, but the sixth prince is too vicious and vicious, and treats human life as nothing, which is not in line with Wen Jing's political philosophy. Wen Jing wanted to refuse, but they But he threatened him with Wen Jingyuan's adoptive mother in the mountain village. Wen Jing's parents died of illness at the age of eight, and it was the adoptive mother who worked hard to bring him up, and the relationship between mother and child is deep."

"The adoptive mother was a sensible woman. She probably noticed something and threw herself into a well. Wen Jing was extremely sad and didn't want to take the imperial examination. She tried her best to escape their imprisonment and hurried back to her hometown. At that time, the emperor was critically ill, and the court fought for it. Fierce, the faction of the Sixth Prince probably has no power to control him, seeing that he is no longer able to serve the Prince, they let him go."

"After Wen Jing kept his filial piety for three years, he resented the darkness of the officialdom and had no intention of becoming an official, so he came to this mountain village to be a private school teacher. Five years ago in the battle of Qicheng, the six princes defeated the prince and were imprisoned in the imperial mausoleum. The prince ascended the throne. Thinking that the world will be stable now, how do you know that the Sixth Prince's ambition is not dead, he escaped from the imperial tomb and secretly recruited various forces, this time he came to find Wen Jing to work for him."

"Wen Jing hated the Sixth Prince because of his adoptive mother, and this time just provided him with a chance to take revenge. He compromised a little and voted for the Sixth Prince on the surface. The official's mentor still has some contacts. He didn't tell me the details, but he probably wants to use his tricks to help the current Holy Majesty completely wipe out the six princes one by one."

General Shan is right, even if I have the ability to turn the capital upside down, I can't do it.Revenge is the scholar's choice, if I take action, the suicide of the adoptive mother will become a knot in the scholar's heart forever, and nothing can be solved.Only when he defeats the Sixth Prince's faction through his own efforts, can he have a chance to untie his knot.

The only thing I can do is wait.

No matter how it ends, no matter how long it takes.

Wait for him to come back.

It is another spring, and I lie on the branches every day and weave my net.The years seem to return to the time when I have no desires or desires, except for weaving nets, there is only weaving nets.

But I know that I am waiting for someone in my heart.

Qu'er was still noisy, and now he flew from afar, shouting all the way: "Wan Zhi Wan Zhi Wan Zhi!! Guess what I saw—that private school teacher is back!"

I straightened up and stared fixedly at the person who was thinking about it day and night.At the end of the path, a familiar but unfamiliar figure came from afar, less youthful and more mature.

It was really him—the scholar came back.

I thought it was such an exciting moment, but when I really saw him, I realized that my heart suddenly calmed down, and the uneasiness, hope, and longing in the waiting days all settled down in an instant.My heart began to become full again, all the sorrow and suffering in the world left me, only the good memories of the past fermented in my heart.

It's good to be back.

The days seem to be back to the past.The private school was reopened, and he went to visit his friends in the neighboring villages every day when he was resting. The strange thing is that he even persisted in waiting under the big tree at sunset every day.

I weave the web and watch him wait for me in human form.

It's funny how I'm on top of him and he'll never know.

When you know that I am a spider, are you still willing to wait for me every day?

Would you regret it, would you be disgusted, would you want to - kill me?

No matter what the ending is, I can't bear it.

Yeah, I'm a coward.

I'm just a spider.

Sad, sad.

It was doomed from the very beginning that the monsters have different paths.

But I can't help it.

Can't help but hope for a different future.

Maybe he said yes?Perhaps he also harbored the same feelings?Maybe we can also stay together like Liu Yi and Dragon Girl I?

……

"Go and try if you're not sure." Xiangrui looked at me, and there was something in his eyes that I couldn't understand. It seemed to be very, very sad, but also like extreme irony.

"Can you bear the day when he has affection for another person?" I looked back at him quietly.

Can't can't can't! !I don't want another person to have the faint fragrance of ink on his body, to listen to his hearty laughter, to lie with him and look at the boundless sky.Just thinking about that image still drives me crazy.

"If you don't mind, it's fine as always." I still looked back at him quietly.

Mind mind mind mind mind! !If you want to see him flirting with another person, it is better to die at this moment, keep the best memories and fantasies about him, and then disappear into this world.

Something in my heart began to become clear.

I have made a decision.

Another evening, I took human form and stood under a big tree.

When the scholar came, he saw me from a distance and ran towards me in surprise.

"I haven't seen you for a long time. You disappeared without saying anything, which makes me very worried..." The scholar was probably over excited, chattering like a song.

His reaction made me a little happy, and it was so full of emotion overflowing my heart.

Can't help it.

You come, you come.

I took his hand and went to the net I wove.Then I become a spider.He witnessed my disappearance, but couldn't see a tiny spider on the ground.Not being able to find me made him very flustered, not knowing what had happened.

I climbed on top of him, and up his arms.He grabbed me and yelled anxiously: "Little spider, I don't have time to play with you." I ignored him, broke free from his fingers, and crawled towards him again.He picked me up angrily and threw me forward.

This time he finally saw clearly, the little spider thrown by him turned into a human form in front of him, becoming the "Wanzhi" he had been waiting for every day.

He looked at me suspiciously.

"I'm a spider, or it's more appropriate to be called a spider spirit." I looked at him lightly.

There was a little panic in his eyes, revealing his intention to escape.

As I expected, but since I made a decision, how could I allow him to leave like this?

My filaments gently invaded the ground and quietly circled behind him.

"I like you. It's the kind of love between husband and wife."

He turned and ran back.

too late.

The filaments broke through the ground and built a snow-white half wall in front of him, and then slowly closed, binding him tightly.

"What do you want to do!" He began to struggle, but how can mortal strength break free from the filaments I have woven through thousands of years?

"I want to be happy with you forever." I ignored his anger and directly expressed the thoughts I had hidden in my heart for a long time.

"You are really crazy! I always thought you were a kind-hearted person, but I didn't know that you were like this—why do you want to take by force if you don't like it! What's the difference between you and those villains who are rampant! Really What a spider spirit—it really is a beast!" He was startled, frightened and angry, and began to speak indiscriminately.

Is it true that you said such things because you were too emotional?

Beast... Beast!He calls me that.So in your eyes, am I so unbearable?

I knew it clearly, but I still couldn't stop my heart from throbbing like being squeezed hard.I bit my lower lip tightly, and my sharp teeth pierced the membrane of the lip and penetrated into the flesh and blood.Accompanied by the stabbing pain, blood beads appeared from the corner of the mouth, which was thick black.

I looked at him straight, tears couldn't flow out by myself, as if I wanted to shed the thousand years of sadness.Like the thin stream outside the village, running along my cheeks and passing the corner of my mouth.Half flowed forward, gathered at the jaw, then became heavier and heavier, and finally fell downward, merging into the ground.The other half seeped into my mouth silently, the tears mixed with the thousand-year-old spider's blood were salty and crying, but there was a hint of sweetness hidden.

He stopped cursing.There was a trace of confusion in his eyes, which gradually became deep, and he looked at me quietly with eyes that I had never seen before.

I tried my best to see what was in his eyes, but my eyes were blurry, and I could only roughly distinguish some color patches, his slightly dark complexion, his snow-white robe and his black hair.

The world fell silent for a moment.

The wind started to blow.The fragrance with the smell of green grass in the distance passed over his flying long hair, and gradually became the familiar ink fragrance on weekdays.

Mountain rain is coming.The ox hair-like rain lightly and gently embraced everything in the small mountain village.

Everything seems to have returned to that day, when he walked barefoot under the tree, chanting "Going home alone, there is no wind and no rain.", accompanied by hearty laughter.

But no matter how similar they are, they can't go back.

The rain fell quietly.

"Let me go." He said.

I couldn't quite hear what he was saying.

"Let me go," he said again.

I don't want to understand what he means.Spiders don't understand speech, do they?

"Let me go." He repeated again.

What a fool, if I really can't hear, he will keep talking until the end of time?

The rain in early spring is always lingering and affectionate, it falls so mistyly, non-stop, as if it will last until the end of time.

Maybe he really decided that way.How many words did he say in three days and nights?

His voice was clear from the beginning, until now it has become hoarse and weak.

I finally couldn't bear to hear it.

Filament slowly let go of him according to my will, and he fell to the ground weakly.Even so, it was easy to see the sudden joy in his eyes, as if he had renewed vitality.

I smiled wryly, did leaving me make you so happy?

I turned my head. "You go."

Ten steps, twenty steps, fifty steps, a hundred steps... I heard him staggering to the distance, and finally disappeared where I couldn't hear him.

I squatted down, hugging a broken heart.

I cried out.

Thin sobbing came from his throat, which was quietly melted by the mountain rain.