Unreasonable

Standing straight, one leg is folded inward, the toes point to the ground, the other leg is forward, and the heel is raised.

He swayed gently, the breeze brushed the tail of his hair, and his shoulders were covered with rays of light.

He noticed You Nan who was stunned at the gate of the yard, stood up, and waved to him with a smile: "You Nan, come quickly!"

Younan rolled his throat and looked straight into his eyes.

It's very clean, as clear as the Lanxi River in March, and it's also inexplicably a little unconsciously gentle.

Light and faint, like the glow of autumn.

He thought to himself, if only he could roll into Zhiling's arms and hide forever.Don't worry about how wrong this person's demeanor is, who is hiding something from me...

Or ask him to ask for three-point clarity, wrap yourself up, and enjoy his gorgeous light.

He approached Zhiling step by step, and finally stood still in front of Zhiling.

He raised his head, a tear fell from the corner of his eye, and said in a trembling voice, "Zhiling, please hug me."

Zhiling sensed that the mood and state of Younan in front of him were not quite right, so without asking any further questions, he gently took him into his arms and patted him on the back.

When his cheek touched the clothes on Ling's heart, Younan instantly felt that all the grievances for more than ten years had overwhelmingly drowned him, as if the surroundings were finally not empty, and finally someone was willing to come over sincerely.

His eyes were wide open, as if dull, but also as if extremely sad.

After a while, he gently pushed Zhiling away, with vague meaning, and said in a low voice: "Zhiling. You don't know... I begged for the favor of the stars in the dark sky, struggled silently in the loneliness behind me, and grew up, Looking back, I realized that I have been spinning in the fog since I was born."

Zhiling asked, "...what do you mean?"

Younan shook his head: "It's nothing. I just suddenly wanted to ask, Zhiling, do you like me?"

Zhiling said without hesitation: "I like it."

"Then can I trouble you to like me a little more?"

"Why do you say that?"

Because I long to be loved, to be valued.

Because I am shameless and wishful thinking to stay by your side forever.

because......

"Because I'm a baby."

Zhiling stared fixedly at Younan's expression, and after a while, he said, "Then Baby Younan, shall I take you out to play?"

You Nan smiled back: "Okay."

Zhiling turned around and took a few steps to the entrance door, shouted a few words into the house and left first, pulling Younan away.

Su Yu, who rushed out after hearing the sound, only saw two backs, one as noble as bamboo, and the other as thin as paper, very close together.

In fact, it didn't take long for Nan to look normal after the two left.

Zhiling asked, "Where are you going?"

You Nan said: "The shopping mall."

I hailed a taxi and got in, and reported the name of the largest shopping mall in the city. The driver looked back and saw that it was Zhiling, and immediately smiled: "Yes, Zhiling! Haha! Oh, by the way, if you go shopping, I suggest Or change places."

Zhiling asked, "How?"

"There's a student committing suicide on the rooftop over there. No one is shopping in the mall anymore. They're all watching downstairs. That crowd of people makes it impossible for a car to pass all the way."

Zhiling said "ah", "suicide?"

Looking back at Younan again: "Shall we go take a look?"

Younan asked, "What are you looking at?"

Zhi Ling said: "See if I can persuade that student."

Younan has been in a daze since hearing "suicide", so he nodded indiscriminately at this time.

The two soon arrived near the shopping mall. Sure enough, there was a sea of ​​people rubbing shoulders, and the vehicles could not move at all.

After getting out of the car, Zhiling squeezed in with Younan, quickly crossed the cordon, and went straight to the elevator.

At the top floor, the elevator door opened, and there was another flight of stairs.

Walk up a few steps, open the metal door, just in time to see a girl on the edge of the roof, and the surrounding police who are always on alert and dare not act rashly.

Zhiling took a step forward, and the leading policeman frowned and shouted, "Where did you come from? Back off!"

The girl also screamed, trembling all over, looked at the scene downstairs, then at Zhiling and Younan at the door, clenched her hands, and said loudly: "Don't come here!"

Her eyes were red, and her whole body was trembling slightly, as if she was still hesitating.

The sky is dark, and the romantic glow of the roses just now has faded away, leaving only the rolling clouds, which makes people feel flustered in vain.

The police had no time to control the two who appeared suddenly, and continued to try to persuade the girl.However, when they mentioned "parents", the girl shrank severely, and then she turned around and jumped off when she saw it!

Sudden!You Nan, who had been standing behind Zhiling all this time, moved.

He just took a small step forward, and said in a not too loud, even gentle voice: "Can you wait for me a moment. I want to send you something." Then, he whispered a few words in Zhiling's ear , his eyes still stayed on the girl.

The policemen probably felt that there was something wrong with this kid, and just about to reprimand them, they suddenly saw the girl turn around slowly and look at Younan.

So they tried to communicate again: "Little classmate, look..."

"Uncle policeman, can you step back a bit. With all due respect, it's useless for you to surround her like this. I want to have a few words with her. You...don't force her."

Saying that, Younan smiled at the girl again: "Have you ever committed suicide before? Have you ever committed suicide?"

The girl shook her head blankly.

"It's all right. I have. I'll tell you."

36. ​​No.30 Six unreasonable troubles

◎18 years can make a person know nothing about society, can't peel eggs or care for quilts, and can also make a person lose the courage to make demands on the world. ◎

A policeman frowned and wanted to rush out to stop Younan, but was stopped by the policeman next to him.

Younan didn't care about them, just looked at the girl gently, and said softly:

"When I was young, I was always alone and had a bad life. I felt that the only pain I could get was the loneliness with blank eyes. I didn't understand the meaning of living. So often, I would try to end my life."

"I cut my wrist, but I didn't die. I just remember the pain of the flesh being cut and the coldness of the blade, which made me feel that death is more uncomfortable than living. You see, until now, I have the scar on my hand It’s not faded yet.” As he spoke, he lifted up the sleeve of his left hand, and there was a terrifying scar on the wrist connected to the palm!The upper arm also had hideous scald marks.

The girl seemed to be stunned, and unconsciously took a few steps forward, wanting to take a closer look.After a few steps, he paused and stopped.

"But after a while, I felt that life was meaningless again. In order to die in less pain, I decided to swallow medicine. But we didn't have sleeping pills at home, and I couldn't afford to buy them. So I took all the medicines I could find at home. The ones should all be gathered together, one pill, a bunch of unfamiliar colorful medicines, swallowed in a few mouthfuls with water."

There was a gasp all around.

"But unfortunately, I had a stomachache for a day, and I still didn't die."

The girl looked straight at him without speaking.

"I also tried to drown myself. There is a ginkgo forest in the west of Yucheng, which is very beautiful and gentle. There is a big river on the edge of the forest. I also walked into the water step by step on the bank of the river at dusk that day. The cold The water spread from my ankles to my thighs, and I felt the turbulent undercurrent under my feet, and suddenly felt panic for no reason. It’s just that the pace of my feet couldn’t help myself, and I was almost pushed to the center of the river by the water. When the river overflowed to my chest At that time, I suddenly regretted it. I suddenly felt that I hadn’t decided whether to die or not.”

"Maybe people really only think of a lot of regrets and memories when they are one step away from death and seem to have no way to recover. For example, when I tripped over the undercurrent at the bottom of the water, I fell up and down in the cold river water. I choked on water in my lungs, and when I wanted to cough, water poured into my mouth, throat, and trachea everywhere... I stretched out my hands to push, but I couldn't push anything, so I could only slap the water with all my strength, trying to struggle to change my body. Breath, but only water, only water, boundless to me..."

"It was when I was so helpless and desperate that I remembered that my cat was still waiting for me to feed, and the alfalfa in the forest hadn't grown a single four-leaf flower yet. Last year's swallows haven't been with me this year. Say hello, I just planted a seed the day before yesterday and forgot to water it..."

He paused, and the surroundings fell into a dull silence. After only a moment, he said again:

"But fortunately, I was rescued. I struggled in the water, and there is still a possibility of survival. But if you jump from here and suddenly regret it, who will rescue you from midair."

"During my stay in the hospital, a friend worried that I would be bored, so he gave me a beautiful glass box and a bag of SpongeBob SquarePants."

Younan turned his head and found that Zhiling was already standing at the door at some point.

He avoided Zhiling's sight, took the thing in his hand easily, and raised it towards the girl: "Look, this is it."

"You go back and raise them in the water. When they grow up, you choose a sunny day, bring the glass box and SpongeBob SquarePants under the sun, raise it a little higher, and look up from the bottom."

"You will see a piece of colorfulness soaked in golden light, mottled color blocks, and gorgeous and colorful light. The beautiful light and color are intertwined into a gorgeous dream. It is so bright that people dare not look at it, but it is so bright. I can't help but look at it again and again, I just think it's so beautiful, beautiful enough to make up for all the disappointments in my life."

"I often think later, maybe people's salvation is only a moment. You are so young, you still have a lot of time to squander, why don't you try to find your own salvation? Maybe it's a line of poetry, maybe it's a painting