time for sysyphus

In a world without Lins, Ji Zhongnian's life passed year after year, like flipping through page after page of a time record book.

If you really look carefully, you will find that every page is actually blank and colorless, with rotten corners.

The so-called law of conservation of energy——

Lin Si himself was tortured before his death, but after his death, he changed to another person, and the pain was transferred to Ji Zhongnian, who became Ji Zhongnian to be tortured.

In the past few years, Ji Zhongnian's mental state is still very unstable, but he has long since chosen to cut off the drug treatment, because the psychiatrist gave him those delusion drugs, which made him gradually lose sight of Lin Si.

So instead of trying to pull himself out, he immerses himself in it.Occasional hallucinations are the vital agent that keeps him alive.

The psychiatrist tried to persuade him: "Resume treatment as soon as possible, you will die if you continue like this."

"It doesn't matter." Ji Zhongnian only said.For him, there seemed to be no difference between living and dying.

At that time, Ji Xiao had told him that killing Lin Si would mean taking half of his life away.

——This is actually not true.Killing Lin Si was equivalent to taking his entire life away.

In any case, Ji Zhongnian worked hard to live up to the present, counting a fraction, he can already exceed one annual ring.

This year is the No. 12 year since Lins left.

There was a lot of snow this winter, just like the year Lin Si died, the snow covered the branches, and there was a vast expanse of whiteness everywhere.

It has been 12 years, the pain of farewell has tortured Ji Zhongnian for 12 years, and now he is just 40 years old.

Whenever someone asked, he answered perfunctorily, saying "time will eventually dilute everything".After all, everyone in the world knows a truth: even the pain of farewell can be smoothed by time.

But what was in his heart, no one knew.

These years, life has not changed much, until Uncle Dong also left, Ji Zhongnian is even more alone.

He entrusted the operation of Ji's Group to a professional agency team, and most of the industries developed rapidly, and the projects built to support the slums in the west city were also completed one after another.

But he doesn't care much about these anymore.Most of the fame and fortune that I pursued in the first half of my life have become a thing of the past, and if I want to keep it, I still can't keep it.

As for the big house of the Ji family, it has long been vacant, but the master bedroom is cleaned every week, and Lin Si's things are left intact.

This empty room seems to have traces of people living everywhere, but in fact, no one has lived in it for a long time, and it is the only place in the whole house that has remained the same.

The vine white sparrow in the courtyard is still growing, and it grows luxuriantly.There was a strong wind, and the flower almost died, but Ji Zhongnian insisted on spending a lot of money to save it.

Now, a glass greenhouse has been set up outside, and a little gardener, Awen, is taking care of it, and the flowers are raised very well.

Time is wasted, flowers are old, and people are also old.

When Ji Zhongnian woke up one day, he found a white hair on his temple.He plucked the black hair beside him to cover up the protruding white strand.

Then he looked at the mirror intently, and he felt that his eyes seemed to be covered with another layer of dust.

"Lance, I'm forty. You should be thirty-seven, too."

In the afternoon, Ji Zhongnian came to the old house, drank tea and listened to music in the courtyard, like an old man who is indifferent to worldly affairs, obviously only 40 years old.

The earphones are the same pair from many years ago, with "ZN" engraved on the left and "LS" engraved on the right. The outer casing is very old, and there is a little current sizzle inside.

As soon as Ji Zhongnian pressed it, the song that Lin Si loved most during his lifetime slowly played——

"One hundred years in the world, only to accompany halfway. The love will never return, and the time will be lonely in the future, and the good times will not last forever."

Over the years, he often felt that he didn't want to live.

Living is really meaningless, mainly because without sustenance, without the one you love and the one you love, you will feel very boring and boring.

Missing is hard, so Ji Zhongnian's life is hard.

He originally considered going abroad for euthanasia and ending his life without pain, but whenever he thought that Lin Si had said to him "you will regret it", he didn't want to let himself go.

How can you easily bypass yourself?

Lin Si clearly reminded him, and clearly tried to persuade him not to send Tao Die mother and son abroad, and not to be obsessed with revenge on Ji Xiao... If you listen to Lin Si well, maybe everything will not develop like this .

So Ji Zhongnian always felt that he deserved it, this was retribution, what should have been retribution on him...instead it went to Lin Si.He should have taken on more than Lin Si.

Even if he deserves to die like this, he still has to choose the same painful method as Lin Si.

On this day - Lin Si's No. 12 death anniversary, Ji Zhongnian cut himself many times with a knife, just like Lin Si was cut by Ji Xiao back then.

He wants to see Lynce.

It was so difficult for them to be together, and they had gone through so many tortuous roads before they could be separated by a death.

Ji Zhongnian was in unbearable pain after each stabbing, and only then did he realize that Lin Si was in such pain back then.

The man's back was covered with cold sweat, and his face was pale. Finally, he couldn't help but take sleeping pills, drink red wine, and broke down, wanting to choose another way to die.

What seemed to be exchanged was another equally unbearable pain.

The blue pills were quietly scattered on the pillow, and the spilled red wine made the bed sheets wet. Ji Zhongnian gradually couldn't breathe, and his internal organs seemed to be poured with boiling water, excruciatingly painful.

"Help... help..." He gasped and began to suffocate.

This person who has been suffering for more than ten years finally allowed himself to sleep, but it was not a peaceful sleep, and the physical and mental tortures were intertwined.

"Lin Si...I want to see you, help me..."

Although he was in pain, he was actually glad that he could finally be freed from such a punishment.Looking back on his life, Ji Zhongnian's most brilliant days were after he met Lin Si, and his emptiest days were after losing Lin Si.

But now, he is no longer parasitic in the world alone.He who was left behind was finally able to find another him.

"Lins...Lins..."

It is said that when a person dies, there will be a wonderful flashback. Ji Zhongnian was tortured by severe pain, and when he couldn't breathe, the only light in front of him was that person's face——

Lin Si's brows were dizzy, and he stretched out his hand to him with a smile.

The moment his consciousness faded away, Ji Zhongnian trembled and uttered the last sentence hoarsely: "Lin Si, save me..."

Nobody can save him, he is an unsaved person.

He went with his lover in a self-destructive way.

Ji Zhongnian is dead.

Death is fair to everyone—

Lost breath, lost heartbeat, lost all perception of the outside world.

So did Ji Zhongnian.

Until he felt himself gasping for breath.

The ears were filled with noisy noise, and the eyes were blocked by something. I subconsciously wanted to see, only to realize that it was my arm that blocked the eyes.

So he put his hand down, and when he opened his eyes, he was surrounded by strangers attacking him with weapons.

"Catch him now!"

"Damn it, hurry up!"

"Fuck, don't let him get away!"

"..."

The people in front of him were extremely vicious, and suddenly, Ji Zhongnian felt a punch in his back, his whole body was hit in the head, and he became sober in vain.

These people... are attacking him!

Isn't he already dead?what's the situation? !This is where?Why is it so familiar...

Ji Zhongnian felt confused, and when he was stunned, another blade behind him split the flesh on his back.

"Hiss—!" The blood dripped down, staining the gravel under the man's feet red.

His assailants held knives and surrounded him. Ji Zhongnian was in such a dangerous situation, and his body suffered injuries of varying degrees, full of tearing pain.

But when he quickly blocked the iron rod of the man on the left, he realized that his physical strength and reaction speed at this time were not at all like his 40-year-old self, but like his 20-year-old self.

what happened?Ji Zhongnian was astonished, and an incredible thought flashed through his mind.

But he didn't have time to think deeply, so he frequently dodged to avoid the people in front of him. No matter what, he was outnumbered and couldn't be beaten, so he could only run away.

He ran away in the direction of the road all the way, thinking quickly in his mind why he was in this place, why he was being beaten and killed by a group of people when he opened his eyes, why was he in an old dream that seemed familiar?

Staggering under his feet, the people behind are chasing after him, such a thrilling scene, and only when he was 26 years old when he was chased and killed by Ji Xiao...

26 years old ...

26 years old? !

Thinking this way, Ji Zhongnian gradually ran into a dilapidated and quiet place, where dark alleys criss-crossed, and the dim light provided many places to hide.

His physical strength was gradually exhausted, and his whole body felt dizzy and weak due to blood loss, so he could only quickly turn into a certain dark alley in front of him.

As soon as he turned the corner, Ji Zhongnian was blocked by something.

No, it seems to be a person...

Such a familiar smell and eyes, such a unique feeling, as if it was someone he had known for a long time.

Is it Lyns?Is it Lin Si who died in his heart for more than ten years?

Everything happened so suddenly, so hard to think, was it a dream or real?

But the pain in my body is obviously so strong, so this is not a dream, this is clearly not a dream.

At this moment that seemed like a dream but not a dream, at the moment when the four eyes met, asking for help was the first thought in Ji Zhongnian's mind, not only for help, but also for redemption.

is it you.

When he asked this sentence in his heart, it was the master of drama chasing drama who provided you with the latest TV drama introduction, TV drama episode introduction, movie plot analysis, and celebrity personal information.

As weak as a person who just died once, he couldn't stop talking to the figure in front of him, as if overlapping with his last words before he died——

"Lins, save me..."

Before all this happened, Ji Zhongnian chose to find his lover in a dream. It was a dream that he would never wake up from again.

But God loves to joke with people, so let him wake up in an unexpected place, and there is an unexpected person in this place.

These two people once stood in alternate dimensions, one kept going forward, and the other stayed in place forever.When one of them stopped, the other looked back.

He kisses him thousands of times, and he loves him over and over again.

Until the countless timelines finally converged to a point, a point where they could hold hands and stand firmly.This time, Lin Si didn't stop, and Ji Zhongnian didn't miss it anymore.

It is no longer a strange first meeting, but a long-lost reunion full of nostalgia.

They finally meet in this dimension, and they will guard the secret of a time loop together, until the white temples rub each other, hold wrinkled hands, and lean on each other's shoulders, in the season when sparrow flowers are in full bloom.

This dark alley was extremely quiet, and before he passed out, Ji Zhongnian heard a response that he had been waiting for for 12 years——

"Zhongnian, I'm here to save you."

(End of the full text.)

The author says:

It's over, thank you everyone who read the article, the road to writing this article was too bumpy, and it was finally finished in 2020.Thank you for your company.

This ending was decided at the beginning of the article. I think it is just right for the story to stop here, and it is my ideal blank space.They will always love each other, only each other, until death.

As for extra episodes, there may be ones, write them when inspiration comes, and update them from time to time.

Everyone, see you in the next article.