time for sysyphus

Good news, good news!

Expensive things are indeed expensive for a reason!

The psychotherapist Ji Zhongnian hired with a high salary is very good, with superb medical skills and remarkable curative effect. Under his long-term treatment, Ji Zhongnian's intermittent amnesia is gradually recovering.

There are two sides to everything.

The good news is that the wise helm of the Ji Group no longer has to forget things like an old man with dementia, and he no longer has to face the embarrassing event that his mind is almost blank when he wakes up every day, let alone rely on the stories of others to know What happened to my past...

What is a little unsatisfactory is that every time he is cured, his memory is awakened more and more. The person he has been thinking about but trapped in the blind spot of memory is slowly released, and his painful time is inch by inch. One inch extended.

——Ji Zhongnian no longer forgets, but every day, he can remember that he lost Lin Si.

He remembered who Lance was, and the happy days he had with Lance.I also remember the death of Lin Si, and the tortured appearance of Lin Si before his death.

Lin Si's death is like a scar engraved in his memory. Not only will this scar not heal, but it will be torn apart by him day after day.

But it doesn't matter, after all, for Master Ji, the most important thing is to think about the dead perverted Lin for the rest of his life.

Although it was painful, he would rather remember than forget, because forgetting that person was the pain and fear he couldn't accept the most.

In the second year after Rings left, spring came late, but it seemed to be a good season, and it was a good time of year for sparrows to bloom.

The sparrows in the courtyard are densely blooming, one by one, like white and plump sparrows, clustered and bloomed on the tender green vines.

When Lin Si was still there, Ji Zhongnian didn't think these flowers were so special. It wasn't until after Lin Si left that he stood here admiring them that he realized that these flowers named "He Que" were very beautiful, unlike other flowers in the world. The flowers are all different.

However, no one has repaired this flower for a long time.

So recently, Ji Zhongnian called the gardener, Awen, to repair this sparrow flower. I have to say that Awen's technique is very similar to Lin Si's, and the shape of the repair is also very similar.

Ji Zhongnian admired the flowers for a long time.Probably next year, the year after, the year after the next year... no matter how many years pass, this flower tree will not be defeated, and will be well guarded by those who stay behind.

"Second Young Master, Second Young Master!" Dong Shu raised his voice several times before Ji Zhongnian could hear him.

He turned around slowly, took off the earphone with the letter "ZN" engraved on one side, saw that it was Uncle Dong, and hummed lightly.

Those who are familiar with Ji Zhongnian will find that his eyes for seeing people are no longer what they used to be, now they are just like a dusty mirror, and his eyes look a little loose.

He was no longer the second young master with twinkling eyes.

"Second Young Master, today a gardener cleaned out the warehouse and found something that Mr. Lin said..." Uncle Dong looked at Ji Zhongnian's bleak figure, and suddenly couldn't bear to speak out.

"What is it?"

"The little gardener said that it was a tool that Mr. Lin bought specially for pruning flowers and plants."

"Ah, yes," Ji Zhongnian suddenly said, "I almost forgot that he likes to take care of bonsai. Sometimes he can spend a whole day in the garden alone without eating. The flower pot asked me if it looked good, but in fact it was cut like that. He... really..."

Ji Zhongnian hadn't said so many words in one breath for a long time, and his eyes seemed to have a rare light and a little moist.

Uncle Dong hesitated to speak: "Then young master, those things..."

"Let it go, don't move."

"Hey," Uncle Dong nodded slightly, then backed away silently, and quietly wiped away his tears when he turned around.

He felt sorry for the half-dead second young master, and also missed Mr. Lin who had already left. It was a deep-seated thing to send a white-haired person away from a black-haired person.

The time created by God will not stop because of the death of anyone in the world, it is still passing slowly and rushing forward.

There is such a sentence -

"Time always dilutes everything."

The dead are already dead, and the living need to maintain their lives. Ji Zhongnian is still alive, so his train is still running on the straight track.

Day after day, he worked and lived normally, just like the days before Lins appeared in his life.

In fact, think about it, the time he and Lin Si have been together is only three years. The short three springs, summers, autumns and winters are not even as long as some projects in the company. It takes four years for ordinary people to study for a university degree. .

So, three years is really nothing.

Ji Zhongnian once calculated with distorted rationality that this period of three years is not long, if the entire long life is spread out and calculated, the duration of this love is probably only a very small part of it.

And Lin Si, probably can only be regarded as a passing visitor.

One day at a social gathering, a friend whom he hadn't seen for many years had just returned to China. When he learned about Ji Zhongnian's experience, he sounded light and thought that the man named Lin Si was just a duck that the young master kept at home. .

The man was shaking his head from drinking, and heard that it had been more than two years since Ji Zhongnian happened, so he wanted to say a few words of comfort to Ji Zhongnian smartly: "Change to another one, the old one will replace the old one, and the new one will catch a lot." .”

Mr. Ji, who was socializing decently one second, overturned the table and sent him to the hospital the next second.

On the night of the beating, Ji Zhongnian slept on the left side of the bed, vacating the right side of the bed, and suffered from insomnia all night.

The thin moonlight streamed in from the window, and spread coldly on the empty space on the right side of the bed.He stretched out his wounded hand to touch, and only touched the air.

"Everyone said, let me find another one. It's only been three years, and I just need to find another one who can live together. But I...why can't I do it? Lin Si."

Ji Zhongnian said to the air.

It's only been three years, obviously only three years, but after losing Lin Si, Ji Zhongnian still feels that his life is over.

Three years is not long or short, it is enough to make a cold person like him become affectionate, enough for him to give his heart to one person completely, and in the following years, no one else will be allowed to walk in .

In the middle of the night, Ji Zhongnian couldn't sleep, so he got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face. He immersed his mouth and nose in the ice water, and the large and small air bubbles floated to the surface of the water and exploded. He was about to suffocate before raising his head.

The man put his cold forehead against the mirror, and suddenly punched the mirror, and the mirror shattered with a crisp sound.

The bright red blood flowed into the finger joints, he didn't feel any pain, he just raised his head, looked in the mirror, and there was a face that had been cut to pieces by the crack, it was frighteningly pale.

"At that time... you always told me to pay attention to my body. I did it and my body was very healthy, but... I had a mental problem and accumulated a lot of diseases. The therapist said, I am suffering from a heart disease. Take medicine It doesn't work either. I don't want to cure it, so just let it go."

While talking, Ji Zhongnian picked up the broken glass that fell on the sink, scratched his arm once or twice, and it was time to take medicine.

But he just quietly watched the cut on his arm bleeding. These two scars, as well as the old scars from the past, seemed to overlap with the knife scars he saw on Lin Si's body back then.

Ji Zhongnian was dazed for a moment, and threw away the fragments in his hand.

He stopped this behavior of abusing himself, because someone seemed to be stopping him in his ear, and someone called him "Master Ji" in a gentle and light way.

Afterwards, he sat alone in the living room and spent the whole night. When the family doctor came, the blood on his hands had already solidified, and he showed no expression when bandaging him.

Dong Shu came to persuade him, but he didn't answer, and sat like a lost soul, so Dong Shu had no choice but to give up, and ordered all the servants in the villa not to disturb the second young master.

But Uncle Dong himself was worried, so he sat quietly at the corner of the stairs, like an old tree with its roots coiled on the ground, loyal and loyal.

He knew that he was old and useless and couldn't do anything, so he just kept guarding the emotionally unstable Second Young Master, like looking at his own child, and didn't dare to leave.

Until Ji Zhongnian sat for a whole day without eating or drinking, Uncle Dong finally couldn't bear it, walked over again, and persuaded him painstakingly: "Second Young Master...Mr. Lin, he doesn't want to see you like this."

Ji Zhongnian didn't respond, he couldn't hear other people's voices, instead he was immersed in auditory hallucinations.

It was evening outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the bloody setting sun engulfed the entire sky. With its head raised slightly, there were clouds like fish scales.

Ji Zhongnian suddenly walked to the window and stared at it for a long time.

Obviously, I have seen this kind of cloud with that person before, and thought that Huoshaoyun is the most beautiful fireworks in the world, but now I look up, it is obviously the blood vomited from the spleen and stomach.

Ji Zhongnian closed his eyes, turned around and stood in the empty hall of the villa, and said to the crystal lamp on the ceiling: "I always feel that you haven't left."

When the crystal lamp is turned on, it will glow brightly, just like Lin Si's eyes, when looking at his Master Ji, there will always be a unique and dazzling light.

"I know you haven't left, because I can always see you when I turn around." Ji Zhongnian said.

The author says:

Zhongnian is half crazy.