time for sysyphus

Just like in the previous life and previous life, Lin Si rescued the injured Ji Zhongnian and carried him back to his home in the slums.

With the experience of the last two times, Lin Si became more calm this time. He closed the doors and windows of his house tightly, and did not dare to turn on the lights. He only lit a candle in the house and closed all the curtains.

Under the dim yellow candlelight, he quickly treated Ji Zhongnian's wounds.

He was very calm throughout the whole process, only when he saw Ji Zhongnian frowning because of the pain, he couldn't help showing a sad face, and his heart also ached.

After doing all this, Lin Si's body was stained with a lot of Ji Zhongnian's blood, and he almost collapsed on the ground from exhaustion, and he didn't even have the energy to get a glass of water to drink.

Through the flickering candlelight, Lin Si leaned against the dilapidated wall, tilted his head to the side wearily, and stared at Ji Zhongnian's sleeping face with his eyes.

He looked at Ji Zhongnian's eyes, nose, mouth... He was not willing to take his eyes away for a moment, and before he knew it, his eyes were red.

He thought he had been tempered into steel, but the first time he met Ji Zhongnian again, he was still defeated in an instant.

"I died twice...you also watched me die twice," Lin Si said softly, "Ji Zhongnian, will you be very sad?"

Ji Zhongnian fell into a deep sleep and didn't hear it.

Lin Si moved his body, leaned towards Ji Zhongnian's bed, stretched out his hand very slowly, and stroked Ji Zhongnian's face.

He was careful with every stroke, for fear of waking up the sleeping man.

"sorry Sorry......"

The piercing pain hit Lin Si's tear glands, and the scalding liquid slid across the jawline and dripped silently on Ji Zhongnian's lapel.

The past life and what they experienced in the previous life caused the two of them to suffer a lot. The reunion gave Lin Si hope, but the inevitable ending led him to despair.

No matter how the situation in the middle develops, death will eventually bring him back to three years ago, and he will never get out of this repeated cycle, just like a closed Mobius loop.

"I really don't want you to be sad." Lin Si said.

This night was doomed to be difficult to sleep. Before Ji Zhongnian woke up, Lin Si refused to close his eyes and sat on the bed alone thinking a lot.

He was thinking, how would Ji Zhongnian continue to live after his death?

The best possibility is that Ji Zhongnian can quickly forget about him, get out of this memory, find someone else, fall in love again, and live happily ever after.

——Even though Lin Si comforted himself so much, as long as the roles were reversed and he thought about it, if it was Ji Zhongnian who died, he would definitely feel overwhelmed with pain.

From this, he finally understood that the pain of his lover's death cannot be erased, and Ji Zhongnian, as the one who was left behind, may never forget the other half who died.

It was precisely because he understood this that Lin Si kept murmuring "I'm sorry" to Ji Zhongyoung.

If Ji Zhongnian hadn't been with him, maybe he would have found a dignified and beautiful wife, gave birth to a cute and smart baby, and lived a harmonious and comfortable life according to the life trajectory he should have had.

...rather than enduring the pain of being separated from the one you love, suffering for the rest of your life.

Thinking of this, Lin Si even had a biting thought: perhaps, he shouldn't have fallen in love with Ji Zhongnian from the very beginning, but in the end, he only needs to face the good or bad ending by himself.

"I'm sorry for making you suffer." Lin Si stared down at Ji Zhongnian, wiped his temples lightly with his knuckles, and said, "But it won't happen this time, I will definitely not make you suffer again... "

Feelings of guilt and bitterness are intertwined in my heart, as bitter as thick traditional Chinese medicine.In the second half of the night, with this bitterness, Lin Si leaned against Ji Zhongnian's bed and fell asleep with his arm resting on his head.

When he woke up the next day, Lin Si's face was still mottled with tears. He slowly opened his sore eyelids, and the first thing he saw was his beloved.

Ji Zhongnian also just opened his eyes.

He saw Lin Si who was close at hand. It was a completely unfamiliar face. He was stunned for a moment, and he immediately showed vigilant eyes.

"Who are you?" he asked coldly.The danger and embarrassment of last night flashed in his mind, but he didn't have the slightest memory of the man in front of him.

The atmosphere froze instantly.Both were silent.

They who had loved each other so much were turned into strangers by God after all.

Lin Si was dumb, and choked up: "I...I saved you last night——"

He paused, as if he had made up his mind, he vainly held back all his emotions and eyes, and deliberately said to Ji Zhongnian in a cold tone: "My name is Lin Si, and I was the one who picked you up last night. "

The word "pick up" is really quite unfamiliar.

The light golden morning light bloomed from the edge of the clouds and splashed into this dilapidated small house, just like a curtain of light within reach between them.

The eyes of the two passed through this light curtain, and they were lightly connected to each other like silk.One is full of vigilance and suspicion, and the other has all the memories between them, but dare not approach easily.

Lin Si tried his best to restrain his gaze, fearing that he could not help but reveal his distress and love.

After a while, Ji Zhongnian looked at him suspiciously, "You saved me?"

"Um......"

When Ji Zhongnian was still about to speak, Lin Si took the first step and said, "Don't worry, I'm not a bad person. Uh, you can rest here to recuperate from your injuries. Those who chase you should not find this place for the time being."

After saying these words, Lin Si turned around hastily, without Ji Zhongnian seeing his flushed eyes, he walked to the washbasin to wash his face alone, leaving Ji Zhongnian a cold back.

Ji Zhongnian was suspicious by nature, and his scrutinizing eyes still did not leave Lin Si. He observed Lin Si for a moment, and then looked down at his bandaged waist and abdomen, feeling even more suspicious.

"Why help me?" he asked Lince.Obviously distrust of Lin Si.

"..."

With a toothbrush in his mouth, Lin Si slowly spit out the snow-white foam, rinsed his mouth with clean water, and then said slowly: "Because, you look like a rich man. I think...it is beneficial Pictureable."

Lin Si used this excuse for three lifetimes, and Ji Zhongnian really believed it for three lifetimes.

After all, when Ji Zhongnian was rescued, he was well-dressed and his belongings were expensive, and Lin Si happened to be born in a slum, so he would be considered a money addict who wanted to get rewards by helping the poor and rich.

Ji Zhongnian scoffed and asked him, "Do you have a mobile phone? I need it."

"Yes." Lin Si handed him his mobile phone.

"I'm here, you keep it a secret." Ji Zhongnian tapped the watch on his wrist, "After I leave, this is yours."

He fully believed that money could keep a mercenary pauper tight-lipped.

"Well," Lin Si agreed, trying not to look directly at him, and said in a murmur, "Take a good rest first, I, I'll go out and buy some food and come back."

After speaking, he turned around and rushed out of the house, not daring to look back, Ji Zhongnian saw it, and felt that this person was strange.

Along the path to the market, Lin Si kept walking forward, raising his hand to wipe away the tears that kept rolling down, he almost couldn't help but show this expression in front of Ji Zhongnian just now.

Ji Zhongnian didn't have him in his memory, and he didn't dare to stalk him like he did in his last two lives to make Ji Zhongnian fall in love with him.

——Thinking of this, Lin Si felt extremely sad.

How could it be possible not to take the initiative to approach Ji Zhongnian?How could it be possible to stop my heart?Love is such a thing, it is too difficult to endure and hide.

After walking aimlessly for more than ten minutes, Lin Si felt in his pocket and found some crumpled bills, so he planned to buy some food to go back.

He went to the bustling market and bought three buns.One of the cheap vegetarian buns was for himself, and two expensive meat buns were for Ji Zhongnian.

On the way home, he passed Aunt Li's house, and saw Aunt Li sitting alone on a small bench in front of the house, her eyes were extremely empty, she was muttering words, and kept crying her husband's name.

"Tao... A Tao... A Tao, I don't know if I will come back..."

The mourning sound was extremely sad, caught in the wind and scattered in the smoke, Lin Si felt very sad when he heard it.

He sighed, and was about to go over to greet Mrs. Li, but Grandma Wang, who was sitting next to her in the shade, stopped him: "Don't worry about her, she's not very clear-headed."

Lin Si paused, and Grandma Wang staggered over, whispering to him, "It's been almost a month, she does this every day, howling during the day and at night, it's so noisy! If she's crazy, don't worry about her, anyway, it will stop sooner or later."

Lin Si asked in astonishment, "Ah? What's wrong with Mrs. Li?"

"Her husband was transporting smuggled coal and died in a car accident, so she went crazy. Everyone in the neighborhood knows about the obsolete things I did last month. Aren't you there too?"

"Oh...yes, I almost forgot." Lin Si pretended to scratch his head, perfunctory.

After Grandma Wang left, Lin Si stood there alone in a daze, holding a steamed bun in his hand, and stared blankly at Aunt Li who was sitting alone in front of the courtyard.

He only felt that this woman was like a pinch of ashes, if there was a wind now, it might blow her away.

The pain of being widowed cannot be healed. What will happen to the remaining half after the loved one is gone?

Lin Si's heart was throbbing with pain.

He didn't dare to imagine how the remaining Ji Zhongnian would spend the rest of his life after his death.

If the time cycle after time is divided into parallel time and space one after another, then in those time and space, what will happen to Ji Zhongnian who lost Lin Si now.

Looking at Mrs. Li's appearance, Lin Si seemed to be able to imagine it.

A few minutes ago, he had wavered: How about being bolder in this life, being with Ji Zhongnian, and taking every step counting.Asking him to hold back and show his love in front of Ji Zhongnian is tantamount to giving himself the cruelest punishment...

But at this moment, Lin Si suddenly couldn't bear it, and felt that he was very selfish.

If Ji Zhongnian had to endure pain for a long time or even the rest of his life for the sake of a short-term love, then it would be better... not to start this love.

Yes, as long as Ji Zhongnian doesn't love him.

Can the ending be changed?Maybe, maybe not.

But what Lin Si cared about the most was not his own life or death, but the rest of Ji Zhongnian's life.

He just wanted the rest of Ji Zhongnian's life...not to wither with a dead person.