mid spring

Are you a designer here?good"

"From the new first-tier cities to the second-tier cities, it is very comfortable to slow down"

……

We talked about cooperation all afternoon, and it seemed to be dusk.

"Come here first today, Zhou Yuan."

"Um, okay."

"Going for a drink?"

"Okay, you lead the way"

So we went to one of my favorite taverns.you ask me

"Have you had a good few years?"

"It's ok, just a normal life"

……

There was silence between us.No one spoke.It should be said that no one wants to fall into that memory.

"Still working in your previous company?"

"No, skipped. The boss is too annoying."

"It's good to jump, I seem to have heard that this company is good."

"Yes, the treatment is better than that company"

……

"What about you? Xiao Yu, you're not in a relationship."

"I'm as busy as a dog all day, how can I have time?"

You smiled, and I didn't want to ask about your love life.Suddenly, you suddenly said

"I met her once, with her husband and children."

"Oh. How did you come across it?"

"I was in the mall once, accidentally."

"Good."

I thought to myself, what do you mean by saying this to me? It has nothing to do with me.then you say

"I'm thinking about what kind of life I'm going to live next"

"? Such a deep question"

"Thirty years old, my family always urges me to get married"

"Damn, you should have been mentally prepared"

Zhou Yuan seemed to have drunk too much, and talked a lot on his own.I just looked at her, that defenseless her.The one who never let her guard down on me before.Even though she is 30 years old, she is living like a child more and more.She said that when she saw me for the first time, she found that I really looked like her when she was a child.Unexpectedly, I started to approach her like this.She said she knew better than I did as an adult at the time that we had no end.She said she was afraid that I would regret it and that it would bring me bad memories.As an older person, she thought about a lot.I did not expect.She said that she had been restraining herself before, not letting me go into this muddy water.Deliberately alienate me.She said how tormented she was.She always finds someone else in me when we're in a city.So with my fetters, with her nostalgia, with my love.I finally spoke and I said

"...Zhou Yuan. Why is there always a barrier between us?"

My reason has been unable to control my emotions.I tremblingly said to her

"I used to always feel that you didn't think of me as someone to you. I was always worrying about my identity. From high school to my graduation from college. We have been through so much. I hollowed out me for you, but you are in my Looking for her on my body. I used to think that I couldn't see through you, and I never dared to look into your eyes. My love for you never cares about repaying, I just want to be by your side all the time. I think you Zhou Yuan is Yu Chuanci. And then? Our good memories, but you are missing another person? Zhou Yuan, what do you think of me."

You seem startled by my sudden words.I didn't speak for a long time.I just said sorry.I suddenly felt that it was never her unfeeling that tormented me all this time, but the imaginary expectations I had always had in my heart.I said something to her, I'm sorry, it's me who should say sorry.All this is my own fault.

After calming down, I am going to take her back to the hotel.But I found out that the hotel was changed in the afternoon because of hotel maintenance.She was so drunk at the time that she didn't see it.Inside the car, it fell into silence again.I said

"Do you want to live at my house?"

"...Okay, fine."

I sensed that she had become much more sober.After tidying up the room for her, I prepared a glass of honey water by the bedside.In the evening, I hold the computer on the sofa to deal with work.she also sat down and said

"I've always been a troubled person."

"Me too, maybe everyone is like this."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, I don't think about it for a long time."

We just sat side by side on the couch.But I typed the one on the computer for a long time and couldn't type it correctly.I think, I am not reconciled.I stopped for a long time and put down the computer in my hand.Turn to me, face her and say

"I really loved you with all my heart for a long, long time."

She bowed her head in silence.Suddenly, I felt my unwillingness, sadness, and deepest love surged back to my heart.I kissed her.When I left her lips, I found myself crying.She must have been scared too.To my surprise, she didn't refuse me, but instead took the initiative to hook my neck and kiss me.The most primitive desire can no longer be held back.The fog between us is hazy, the emotions are delicate and sensitive, and the mind is fully exposed, sober but chaotic, ethereal and blurred.In desire and love, listening to each other's monologue, complete the haze that reflects each other.I stared into her eyes, only to find tears in her eyes.I don't have pure love in my mind, but I want to integrate her into my body. I want to keep her, but there is nothing I can do.Some complaints mean more helplessness in my heart.In this way, we spent a night of love and tears.

The next day, she went back.We say goodbye at the airport like before.I think maybe this is the last time we will meet in this life.Then, I pawned the bracelet she had given me.It's not lack of money, it's just saying goodbye to the past.At night, I have insomnia.Hope she is too.This time I really want to say goodbye to the past.Zhou Yuan, goodbye.

"You're always like a thief

habitual possession

You can even steal my smile

I don't know it

also readily accept

You do not love me. "

——"Snicker" Wei Ruxuan

In the spring of my 30th year, I married a guy.He loves me very much and prepares gifts for me every anniversary.We never had conflicts.I didn't mention my past either.He is a gentleman and good at housework.He also agrees with me in many interests.Then we had a son.He never let me down.Zhou Yuan, I am doing well.And you?Hope you are well.

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Friends, please do not repost without consent. This article is based on my life. Some places also reflect my shadow. Please point out the problem!Thanks!