smoke like fire

Afterwards, neither Zhao Kuanyi nor I spoke to each other.

I felt in a trance, fell asleep without knowing when, didn't feel like I was dreaming, and woke up very early the next day.It's early, but it's already past eight o'clock. This time is very late for the old man.

I always get up late on holidays, but when you are a guest at someone’s home, you have to be more or less cautious. I originally planned to get up earlier, but I fell asleep and drank again last night.

I turned over and there was no one on the side of the bed.

When Zhao Kuanyi got up and left, I didn't notice at all.I stared at the empty side of the bed, and the last scene of the night came to my mind, and I really regretted it.

Too impulsive, I shouldn't confess.

Zhao Kuanyi has feelings for me, but it's not what I expected. I used to deliberately guess it, but now it's real, and I can't even pretend to be confused.

But Zhao Kuanyi's answer was unexpected.

I covered my face with my hands.I can't expect too much, he may not have thought clearly at the time, even if he does not resist men's love, but he will definitely not accept it, for many years, all the women who have come and gone by his side are more beautiful than the other.

In the bar many years ago, the kiss he had with a strange man was actually not sober.I should have thought it through long ago and shouldn't have hoped for it.

I hope that he will forget my words, because such expectations are ridiculous.

When I got up, I realized that the luggage had been taken into the room.

I didn't see it when I came in last night. It should be put in another room. There are many guest rooms here. Zhao Kuanyi and I didn't need to squeeze into one room. Last night it was purely impossible.

There is a bathroom in the room, I take clothes to change and wash, and then go out after tidying up.

There was someone in the small living room outside, it was Zhao Kuanyi, he looked energetic, sitting on the side of the sofa, using his laptop on his lap.Seeing him so quickly, I couldn't react for a moment and stood still.

When Zhao Kuanyi heard the sound, Zhao Kuanyi looked up.

"Woke up?"

I tried to smile, "Well, I'm so sorry, I went to bed late." After thinking about it, I said, "Did the old lady get up early?"

Zhao Kuanyi said: "Grandpa and grandma just woke up and are still eating breakfast downstairs, you should go down and use it too."

I said yes, walked two steps, saw him using the laptop again, paused and asked him: "Have you eaten?"

Zhao Kuanyi didn't raise his head, "Yes."

I hesitated to speak, nodded to myself, and went downstairs.

There were conversations in the dining room below, and two old men were sitting on one side of the table.Mr. Zhao was flipping through the newspaper while chatting with the old lady.

Mr. Zhao saw me coming, and his voice stopped.The old lady also looked over and spoke first: "Why did you get up? Why don't you sleep more?"

I smiled, very embarrassed, "It's time to get up, I slept too much."

"Oh, it's the holidays, what's the point of going to bed late." The old lady said, "Come and sit down, see what you want to eat?"

There are bread rolls, bacon, scrambled eggs and coffee on the table, as well as steamed buns and soy milk.I heard from Zhao Kuanyi before that because the old general's wife is British, the Zhao family has always prepared both Chinese and Western.

"Are you drinking coffee?" the old lady asked, getting up.

I hurriedly stopped: "You sit down, I'll do it myself."

The old lady didn't move, but called her aunt to reheat the milk.She said: "The coffee beans are freshly ground. Kuan Yi brought them back from the UK. In fact, no milk is added and they are not bitter. But I know that you young people don't drink black coffee."

I smiled, but before I could answer, Mr. Zhao had already said, "You don't drink it yourself. You didn't have milk just now, so please go downstairs and buy some."

The old lady looked at him, "If you want to talk more, he will be willing to buy it for me if you don't like it, don't look at it."

Zhao Lao said, "Can he not buy it? It depends on how you lose your temper."

The old lady hummed.

I laughed and couldn't help saying: "Your old relationship is really good."

"Can this be good?" The old lady said immediately: "It's just that I have been looking at it for too long, and I am used to it. After all, I have to get used to it for a few years."

Mr. Zhao didn't say anything, he lifted the newspaper and read it again.

I finally knew who inherited Ms. Zhao's eloquence.

Later, Mr. Zhao didn't interrupt much, just me and the old lady chatting.After talking about gossip for a while, Zhao Kuanyi also went downstairs, came over to drink coffee, and sat next to me.

The old lady asked: "Call me later and ask Heather if their plane is ready to fly?"

"I asked, but I have to wait a little longer, maybe in the evening." Zhao Kuanyi said.

"Oh."

I ate coffee in silence, listening to Mr. Zhao or the old lady ask Zhao Kuanyi something.The two elders asked questions in different directions, the old lady was a family matter, while Zhao Lao talked more serious.

But neither of them mentioned Ms. Zhao, as if Ms. Zhao's absence from this family during Chinese New Year was already a common occurrence.

As for Zhao Kuanyi and I, we haven't had much conversation, but we helped each other get coffee a few times.

After sitting in the restaurant for a long time, the old lady decided to play cards. She talked a lot about Zhao Kuanyi pulling me out and not coming back.I'm not good at speaking, but when I think of last night's drip, I have mixed feelings in my heart, but at the end of the memory, I only feel uneasy.I dare not even look at Zhao Kuanyi.

Zhao Kuanyi dismissed his grandmother with a few words, but he couldn't evade the game.

The old lady was overjoyed, so she went to ask her auntie to come to Zhang Luo. Mr. Zhao greeted me and came to my living room first. When Zhao Kuanyi got up, the phone rang at the next moment. He went to answer it, but he didn't talk for long, and hung up quickly.

When Zhao Kuanyi came to the living room, Mr. Zhao asked who called.

"It's uncle, he said he might come later."

Mr. Zhao frowned after hearing this, but he didn't say anything about this, he only talked about other things.

I didn't ask too many questions. Zhao family's relatives seem simple, but they are complex. Although the old general only has one pair of children, there are a lot of brothers, sisters, nephews and nieces. Now, there are dozens of people. .

And some of these descendants of the Zhao family also occupy positions in Liantian.I had a chance to get in touch with one of them, but then by coincidence, the cooperation was transferred to Ye Wenli.

For this reason, Chen Liren apologized to me, but I didn't really care about it. On the contrary, I was glad that the Zhao family was not easy to deal with.

Aunt invited us to the card room.

This time, Zhao Kuanyi is my opponent.

I focused on making a pair, and rarely looked at him, only a few times I hurriedly said goodbye.But he didn't seem to notice any difference, his speech was like yesterday.

Seeing him like this, I can't help but get lucky, maybe he really forgot when he woke up.

That’s fine, it’s fine to forget—if that’s the case, I shouldn’t feel awkward.After thinking this way, I suddenly feel relaxed, but every time I talk to him, there is always a little bit of confusion.

After four rounds of playing, it was past noon, and the old lady finally had fun.

After the game of cards was over, none of them were very hungry. The old lady asked the auntie to cook some salty food. After eating, she probably felt exhausted, so she stayed in the living room for a while before going upstairs.

Mr. Zhao was also tired, but at this time there was a call, and a guest would arrive in a while.

I don't want to bother you any more, so I take this opportunity to say goodbye, and of course Zhao Kuanyi will send me a ride.

Old Zhao said: "Come play again when you have time."

"Okay." I said, not daring to ask him to send more.

The door closed, and Zhao Kuanyi asked me in the elevator, "Did something fall?"

I said: "No, oh no, there are, and they are all in your grandma's purse."

Zhao Kuanyi was silent, and then said: "I really don't know that you care about losing money."

I explained: "No, how much money to lose is not a problem, it's just that it's too bad to lose, especially if you lose to the elders, it's hard to work hard."

Zhao Kuanyi seemed to disapprove of it.

In a few words, we arrived at the parking lot.

After putting away my luggage, I opened the door and got in the car, but Zhao Kuanyi, who had already gotten into the driver's seat, handed me a paper bag.

"For you."

I froze for a moment, and glanced at the brand on the bag, it was Loewe.No matter what's in it, it's not cheap.I forced a smile.

"What do you mean?" I asked directly without guessing.

Seeing that I didn't pick it up, Zhao Kuanyi couldn't bear it, so she just replied indifferently: "Last time about my mother, I agreed to give you a gift."

I was startled, and it took me a moment to react—it was because of that time.I secretly breathed a sigh of relief, but felt melancholy, so I reached out and took it.

"Actually, you have invited me to dinner, so you don't need to give it to me again. You know, I'm just talking."

Zhao Kuanyi started the car and said to me: "I also said that I need supplies."

I had no choice but to accept it.

When the car drove on the road, I took out the box in the bag, opened it, and there was a dark blue leather wallet lying inside.I smile.

"Why did you think of giving me a wallet?"

My current wallet is MONTBLANC, which has been used for many years. It was given by my mother on my 20th birthday. She said that I should use it better when I am an adult.

As for the wallet, I don't have any requirements, just a usable one, but recently I found that the leather is worn out badly, so I plan to change it.

Fortunately, Zhao Kuanyi sent one.

At this moment, Zhao Kuanyi was driving the car and answered me: "There is just the right one."

I don't know how to describe my mood at this moment, I put away my wallet and thanked him.Zhao Kuanyi glanced distractedly, and only replied that you're welcome.

Quiet in the car.

Compared with yesterday, my mood is really ups and downs. Originally, Zhao Kuanyi and I talked about it, so there should be no more anxiety, but because of an impulse, it led to the current situation.

"How about listening to music?" I asked.

"casual."

I was about to turn on the speaker, and when I heard Zhao Kuanyi's plain tone, it suddenly stopped.

"never mind."

I said, don't look away in a hurry, not to see Zhao Kuanyi's expression.

As always, I was the only one struggling.

On the one hand, I wanted to ask Zhao Kuanyi what happened, on the other hand, I hoped that he had forgotten—maybe he hadn’t, but in consideration of our friendship, I pretended nothing happened.

If so, is it good?

I was in a flurry of moods, and found that the car had arrived at Fuxing South Road.After a short drive, we will arrive at the community building where my home is located.

Zhao Kuanyi suddenly asked: "Are you hungry?"

I was stunned for a moment, "Fortunately, I don't think so much."

Zhao Kuanyi was silent, but the car slowed down and drove into the alley on the right. This is a residence and it is a one-way street.

I froze, the car had parked under the wall of one of the houses.

"How do you..."

Zhao Kuanyi seemed to interrupt me, "Cheng Jingcheng, I've thought about it carefully."

I was taken aback for another moment before pulling the corner of my mouth: "What are you thinking?"

"What you said. You haven't forgotten, nor have I." Zhao Kuanyi said lightly.

I shut my mouth, unconsciously turned my eyes away, and my heart beat like a drum.

Zhao Kuanyi's voice sounded slowly: "I must say, I have never regarded you as an object, but I like you. Among all my friends, you are the most different. If someone else came to meet me today I must not be so hesitant to say those words.”

I smiled wryly in my heart, collected myself, looked at him, and said, "Actually, you don't have to hesitate, I..."

"There are not many people who can make me hesitate." Zhao Kuanyi didn't let me continue, but continued: "I really don't resist having a relationship with the same sex, but I never accepted it, because dating with the same sex has never been in my consideration It's not the way I should go, and it's not suitable."

I am silent, but I can understand that this society is still harsh on homosexuality. Even if I can ignore everything around me, how can Zhao Kuanyi ignore it.

If he was willing to indulge all the time back then, he would not be where he is today.

I said: "I understand everything, I don't talk about you, I have thought about it, you just think I'm drunk, so I talk nonsense—"

Zhao Kuanyi listened, and it seemed that there seemed to be deep meaning in his eyes.

I paused suddenly, then shut my mouth, unable to utter a word.

Zhao Kuanyi also calmed down, and said in a low voice after a while: "We have known each other for a long time, and I did not hide from you what happened to me before, you can see it? And no matter what I do, I will never consider being of the same sex, only this so-called The road to success is still the easiest one, but it does not mean it is the right road, there is no right or wrong in life, it is just a choice.”

"But—" he looked at me, "you made me hesitate. So, I couldn't help but think that if you want to talk to a man, you are really suitable."

There are mixed feelings in my chest, sometimes in a trance and sometimes sad.I told the truth: "But you treat me differently than I treat you."

Zhao Kuanyi looked calm.

"I don't deny it." He said: "But you know, I won't consider anyone of the same sex anymore, only you, if you want, I will try and talk to you."

I felt both sad and happy, and whispered: "Why don't I want to?"

Zhao Kuanyi looked at me silently.

"but I…"

Zhao Kuanyi suddenly interrupted: "Cheng Jingcheng, do you dare to ask for it, but dare not take it?"

After I paused, I suddenly became embarrassed, as if a hole had been opened in my heart, it was empty, I couldn't think much more—don't I dare?don't i want it

I gritted my teeth, glared at Zhao Kuanyi unbearably, hooked his neck with one hand, and moved forward to his lips.There was no tenderness in this kiss, not even a touch, I couldn't hold back my strength, I almost bumped into it.

Zhao Kuanyi frowned, and so did I, but I couldn't help laughing.

"Okay, let's try it." I said.

It's better to have nothing but a dream in the end.