dust and ash

play to your heart's content

Zhuo Minhao has a few close buddies around him, as well as a few close female friends.I ate them all, hungry like a wolf.It is also miraculous that fate can play tricks on people like this.I, Jiang Yizhi, wanted only one Zhuo Minhao from the beginning to the end, but he gave me a dozen copies.Everyone seems to have his shadow in him, absorbing some of his essence.Find me, or I find them, and then get entangled together in a muddle.

In the summer vacation of the second year of high school, I had the craziest time.We went to private rooms in hotels in twos and threes, the kind with KTV and dance halls.Each of us men put his arms around a girl, and painted on her face indiscriminately with our mouths.What Zhuo Minhao hugged was his girlfriend at the time, the first person he dated after breaking up with his first love.I was hugging a very good female friend of his, I don't remember the name, I just remember that she had an impressive smile.After that, I never saw her again.

I hugged others like that, but my eyes were all on him.

pursue

We went to his house to play a few times, and I found that his mother didn't hate me as much as I imagined, she smiled at me and gave me something to eat.I also brought them to my house for the night, and my mother said that you and Zhuo Minhao are dating again. I never knew that my mother cared about me and Zhuo Minhao so much.My mom is now calling him by his first name instead of Zhuo all the time.

That night my mother made a bed for them in the guest room, and I had already fallen asleep in my room, when the door suddenly rang twice.It's Zhuo Minhao's friend, she said she wanted to sleep with me, and I agreed by accident, and had sex with her in a lukewarm manner.Now that I think about it, I really regret it. I think it is unnecessary. I lived the first half of my life very unnecessary.

Apart from Zhuo Minhao, I have nothing to pursue.

Jealous

It's really strange to say that this word never seems to exist between me and him.Obviously a word that is not very popular, but it makes me wishful thinking and dreaming.If there was even a little bit of jealousy between Zhuo Minhao and I, our relationship would not be without progress.To put it bluntly, we were all too tolerant of each other.

Another term for jealousy is also called possessiveness. Possessiveness is too extravagant, and I didn't understand it until later.

It took me more than 20 years to understand my feelings for Zhuo Minhao. Even if I wanted to truly own him later, I was powerless.

Lose

The last year of high school was tough, really tough.I can't write anymore, please forgive me...