kiss you while drunk

Jiang Xinran was waiting for an explanation from Gu Ruo, but it didn't come.

Gu Ruo stood there, not looking at Jiang Xinran, chin down, eyelashes drooping, eyes falling on the floor, as if preparing to fool this matter by passive resistance like the previous two times.

Jiang Xinran didn't have the patience to fool her.

Jiang Xinran does not think she is an unreasonable person. She believes that communication is the cornerstone of feelings. Since they are together, they should at least be honest. No matter who has any difficulties, they should speak out. What can be solved can be solved. Find a way to solve it together. If you can't solve it, you can share it with one more person, so that you won't be overwhelmed by the burden.

So she hated Gu Ruo's silent attitude to death.

When one party in the relationship refuses to communicate, there is no need to maintain the relationship.

There was a long silence in the room.

Jiang Xinran felt a sense of powerlessness from the bottom of his heart, exhausted and bored in his bones.

Although it was Gu Ruo who was pursuing her in name, in reality, she was the one who worked harder for their relationship.

Human energy is limited, and feelings cannot be a one-way contribution by one person. After hard work for a long time, we must cheer each other up, but when hard work becomes wishful thinking, who can Jiang Xinran cheer for?

It is difficult to persevere alone. Jiang Xinran has persisted for so long, and he is really exhausted to despair, and he does not want to continue.

The belief that supported her was suddenly pulled away, and the backbone was also taken away. Jiang Xinran swayed, leaned on the desk as if exhausted, and sat down slowly.

Gu Ruo's lips moved, and finally made a sound.

Jiang Xinran thought she wanted to explain.

What she said was: "Ranran, you said, give me a chance, let's start over."

"It's just your trick. I know it, and you know it too. It's fine if you don't say it. Gu Ruo, why bother to tell the truth? It's boring, it's boring." Jiang Xinran held his forehead and sneered, "I admit, it's my high I overestimated myself, thinking that if I gave you another chance, what happened back then would be over, but I can’t, how can I get over it? Do you know that even now, every day when I wake up, I always wake up, until I see you for the first time. Eyes, a heart can only let go, I am afraid that you will disappear again..."

What's the use of saying this?Jiang Xinran's heart was sour, and he couldn't help but spurn himself, why did he say something that made people laugh, some tears flowed and let it go, but it was boring to say it all the time.

But Jiang Xinran is not reconciled.

Why did Gu Ruo leave as soon as he said, and get back together as soon as he said he would get back together?

What she left was not six days, nor six months, but six years!

Six years, to put it lightly, Jiang Xinran counted the days and lived through it day by day!

Needless to say, the hesitation and helplessness at the beginning, if the heart died after waiting, it would be Jiang Xinran's good luck.

It's just that the cluster of flames in my heart didn't go out, leaving a little bit of fire, looking forward to Gu Ruo's return.

In the past few years, Jiang Xinran has been living in self-torture, almost going crazy.

Constantly reflecting on what he did not do well in that relationship made Gu Ruo so discouraged that he decided to leave. The self-abuse-style reflections over and over again turned into self-deprecation and suppression in the end.

It must be that I am not considerate enough, often ignoring Gu Ruo's depression in the details of life, and not giving her comfort and support in time.

It must be that I am not gentle enough, always making fun of Gu Ruo, maybe when I am not paying attention, I often poke her self-esteem, making it difficult for her to bear being with me, so I escaped silently.

It must be that I don't know how to take care of others, I am too self-centered and ignore her feelings...

With so many affirmations, Jiang Xinran denied herself to the point of complete denial. The optimistic and confident personality she had built up since she was a child was almost completely defeated in the self-torture in the middle of the night.

She couldn't eat or sleep for a while. She was 1.6 meters and [-] meters tall. When she was the thinnest, she even weighed only [-] kilograms, and she was only skinny.

During that time, if Ai Yichi hadn't taken care of her non-stop, and even fed her food mouth by mouth when she didn't want to eat, Jiang Xinran might not be able to survive.

"Xiao Ai, is it because I treat Gu Ruozhen so badly that she can't bear me?" At that time, Jiang Xinran's eyes were empty, and this was the question he asked the most.

"Xinran, you are the most kind-hearted person I know." Ai Yichi pushed back the messy hair on her forehead and talked to her patiently, "Don't scare yourself, Gu Ruo must have a reason for doing this , you know her better than I do. She is not the kind of irresponsible person. Don't worry, she will definitely come back and give you an explanation. Before that, you have to take care of yourself and keep your body healthy Yes, or how worried she should be when she comes back, don't you think?"

"But when will she come back?" Jiang Xinran grabbed Ai Yichi's hand, as if grabbing the only life-saving straw, his eyes were full of pleading, hoping that Ai Yichi could give her a definite and positive answer.

But Ai Yichi couldn't give her the answer she wanted, so he could only say that he didn't know either.

Gu Ruo may not know these past events.

She left and came back again, so she could start over with a smooth word.

"You said that you have decided to forget the past and start over." Gu Ruo said.

"I'm not a robot. After formatting, I forget everything and start all over again." Jiang Xinran laughed at himself, "Who made me have such a good memory? Some things are stuck in my heart for a lifetime, and I can't forget them." She raised her head, "Gu Ruo, do you want to blame me for this?"

Gu Ruo choked up for a moment.

She was at a loss and at a loss.

Jiang Xinran glanced at her, then sneered again, "Gu Ruo, it's only three things. I asked you the first two times, but you didn't tell me. This is the third time I asked you. If you don't tell me, then we really did." There's no need to entangle any longer."

"Ranran!" Gu Ruo stepped forward in a hurry, with a painful expression on his face, "I didn't leave you on purpose, you believe me, I have reasons..."

"Then what is the reason, can't you explain it clearly!" Jiang Xinran raised his eyebrows coldly, and became irritable, "What is the shameful thing, you can't even tell me? You know that I am a person who breaks the casserole and asks the bottom line. Even so, you can't tell me!"

Gu Ruo didn't answer directly, no matter how painful she looked on her face, no matter how fierce the struggle in her eyes was, these were all fake, and when it came to reality, she didn't say a single word of useful information to Jiang Xinran.

Jiang Xinran almost wanted to laugh, but his eyes were sore and sore. He blinked and tried to force back the tears, "I even knew about your return to Linyuan from others! Gu Ruo, what did you do for me? What did you do?"

The words were thrown loudly, and after she finished speaking, the depression in her heart hovered around her throat, blocking her throat.

Tears in the eyes are spinning.

Gu Ruo didn't speak again.

She had nothing to say.

Jiang Xinran's every accusation was correct, and she didn't even have room for sophistry.

She was the one who left, she was the one who disappeared, and it was her who broke Jiang Xinran's heart.

Jiang Xinran was the one who waited for her for six years and grieved for six years.

Gu Ruo should tell Jiang Xinran everything, she owes Jiang Xinran an explanation.

It's just that some words are too weak to say so easily.

Gu Ruohui thought very simple before Linyuan, if he was wrong, he was wrong, no matter how much he said, it would be sophistry, the important thing is to treat Jiang Xinran well in the future, and let her know his sincerity.

Gu Ruolian also messed up this matter.

……

Later, Jiang Xinran was also unable to quarrel with Gu Ruo.

She accompanied Ai Yichi to rent a house the next day, and she didn't say a word to Gu Ruo when she went out.

"You guys quarreling? Is it because of me?" Ai Yichi felt uneasy.

Jiang Xinran comforted her with a smile: "No, don't think about it."

"Gu Ruo is a very good person, she is really good to you." Ai Yichi said.

Jiang Xinran just laughed, with self-mockery in his eyes.

Ai Yichi and Shen Zhaoxia left the house when they divorced, their pockets were cleaner than their faces, and Jiang Xinran didn't have much savings. They searched for a long time, and finally found a cheaper house in the most remote area of ​​Linyuan.

Single room, no furniture, 800 yuan per month, two deposits pay one.

The transportation is inconvenient, far away from the subway station, and the nearest bus station is 200 meters away.

"It's too remote, it's not safe for you to live alone." Jiang Xinran was worried.

Ai Yichi shrugged his shoulders and said with a smile: "It's good enough to have a shelter from the wind and rain, Xinran, I will pay you back the money you borrowed from me as soon as possible."

"Don't worry, you adjust yourself slowly, and me." Jiang Xinran said.

After helping Ai Yichi find a good house and signing the contract, Jiang Xinran accompanied her to buy a second-hand bed and a few changes of clothes.

The T-shirts I bought at the stalls in the vegetable market cost 19 yuan and 9 pieces. I was afraid of shrinking, so I bought a larger size.

"By the way, how is the decoration of your dormitory?" Ai Yichi suddenly asked as he stood by the booth and rummaged through it.

Jiang Xinran froze for a moment.

She hasn't cared about the dormitory for a long time.

Living in Gu Ruo's house was like a matter of course.

"I'll take a look at the school later." Jiang Xinran said, "Xiao Ai, are you going? We can still have a meal in the cafeteria, which is cheaper and more hygienic than outside."

"I won't go." Ai Yichi said, "I have to go back and boil a pot of hot water and wipe the bed boards."

"Okay, then call me anytime you need anything."

"Hey."

……

Back at Linyuan University, Jiang Xinran used her campus card to open the access control on the first floor of the dormitory. Without telling the dormitory auntie, she went directly to the fifth floor and returned to 501.

The winter vacation has already begun, and most of the students have gone home for the New Year, so the corridors are very deserted.

The door of 501 was closed, and Jiang Xinran had to do some mental construction before he unscrewed the door.

Only to find out that the dormitory has been renovated a long time ago, and even her other three roommates have moved their things back to the dormitory, but no one told her.

Jiang Xinran took a deep breath, closed the door again, went downstairs, and registered in the dormitory management room on the first floor, saying that he would move back to the dormitory tonight and stay in school during the winter vacation, and told him not to stop the water and electricity in 501.

After finishing all this, Jiang Xinran ate dinner in the cafeteria and returned to Gu Ruo's apartment.

Gu Ruo was waiting in the living room, and when she saw her come back, the smile on her face was a little nervous, "It's just right, the meal is still hot."

"I've eaten it, you can eat it yourself." After Jiang Xinran finished speaking, he went back to the bedroom.

Since Gu Ruo didn't want to communicate with her, she didn't want to communicate with Gu Ruo either.

Jiang Xinran didn't have a lot of luggage, and she packed it quickly. When she found the pair of pink N pants in the closet that she had only worn once, she paused, put it aside, and continued to pack her own things.

She didn't want to get involved with Gu Ruo anymore, so she didn't take any of Gu Ruo's things away.

The suitcase was full, and Jiang Xinran dragged the suitcase out.

Seeing her door open, Gu Ruo thought that she had lost her temper like last time, and wanted to chat with herself, so she walked over happily, looked down at the suitcase in her hand, and her expression changed suddenly.

"Where are you going?" Gu Ruo asked hastily.

"Go back to the dormitory."

"Your dormitory is still being renovated, how can you live in it!"

"How do you know that my dormitory is still being renovated?" Jiang Xinran narrowed his eyes, "Gu Ruo, are you playing tricks on me not being able to live in the dormitory?"

Jiang Xinran was still wondering why the school was so generous and offered to subsidize her with 5000 yuan. If Gu Ruo got in the way, everything would be explained clearly.

It turned out that from the beginning to the end, this person was calculating himself.

I also blame her for being stupid, such a clumsy deception, I was lost in it, bewitched by her rhetoric, and couldn't see anything.