Hidden Summer

The subway during the rush hour was as crowded as ever. After getting on the train, Cao Liyu and Xiao Yu stood side by side by the door, watching the rapidly receding advertising lights along the way and the almost invisible light and shadow in the dark tunnel.There was no dialogue between the two, but both sides were thinking hard to find a topic.Before they could think of an appropriate opening line, the subway had arrived.

Xiao Yu is not the kind of person who is good at expressing. He always thinks more than he talks, and he may be better at expressing his thoughts in literary and artistic forms such as painting.When Xiao Yu was studying, his writing style was very good, and he kept the habit of writing articles. In the digital age, he opened a blog early, and often wrote some prose and essays that Cao Liyu could not understand. The chat room space always has a password.But why is it so rare to beat Cao Liyu?When he was in junior high school, he pestered Xiao Yu several times to ask to release the authority but failed. Cao Liyu used Xiao Yu's account to log in and peeped once—the only passwords that Xiao Yu likes to use are those. Unfortunately, he used Xiao Yu's computer, mobile phone and even the bank Cao Liyu of the card knows that bingo after trying two.However, after Cao Liyu logged in, he found that the diaries written by Xiao Yu were also some cryptic poems, which a straight-hearted person like him could not understand at all, so he just wrote them without reading them carefully.

Whenever Cao Liyu glanced at Xiao Yu along the way, he would always see him frowning slightly with a hesitant look on his face. He guessed that Xiao Yu must have opened the small theater in his mind again, but he dared not say anything.Cao Liyu looked at the familiar street scene he hadn't walked in for a while, thinking that if it was the past, he would surely be able to break the oppressive atmosphere with a random nonsensical remark, but now what he is struggling with is that he should calmly talk to Xiao Xiao Is Yu talking nonsense, or should I use silence to show that I haven't let go?

Before they knew it, the two had already stood at the door of the house. Cao Liyu took out the key to open the door, and first looked around for a week at the living room furnishings that were exactly the same as in his impression before changing his shoes and entering the house.On the coffee table in front of the sofa were the TV remote control and game controller, as well as Cao Liyu’s mug, just like before he left, as if he had never left home, but came back from a normal day’s work, waiting for Li Hang He would open the door and come in and fight to the death with himself to continue the game from the previous night, while Xiao Yu would call the two of them in the kitchen to help serve the dishes to the table and prepare for dinner.

Cao Liyu was in a trance for a moment, and suddenly couldn't understand why he was so brooding.It wasn't because of Li Hang and Xiao Yu's unusual sexual orientation, nor was it because those two concealed their relationship, and it wasn't because they left him alone after they got together; Unexpectedly, he thought that the three of them were exactly the same as before, and they would continue to maintain a relationship of best friends regardless of each other.So what can't you let go of?

He is probably really stupid, he always acts before thinking; he is not like Li Hang, who keeps rational and calm at all times; he is also not like Xiao Yu, who tolerates everything silently in his heart even though he doesn't say a word.

Cao Liyu turned his head and saw Xiao Yu standing in the porch looking at him quietly, and couldn't help but say something: "What are you doing standing there? I'll go to the room to get some clothes."

Going into his room, he took a set of formal clothes and some change of clothes, and put them in a big backpack. Cao Liyu saw that there was nothing special to take. The moment he put on the backpack, he felt like going out for a few days and returning soon. illusion.

Back in the living room, Xiao Yu was pouring a glass of water from Cao Liyu's mug and handing it to him.Cao Liyu took it and took a big sip. He raised his head to see that Xiao Yu was looking at him with a smile in his eyes, and then he looked away uncomfortably. The "world" is in a trance.

Xiao Yu followed and asked softly, "Are you having dinner at home?"

Cao Liyu thought about it, and always felt that if he stayed to eat together, it seemed that his "running away from home" would make more sense, so he shook his head: "No, I'm leaving now."

Xiao Yu's complexion, which had been raining and snowing for the first time, dimmed a bit in an instant.Cao Liyu felt a little apologetic, and changed the subject abruptly: "Where's Li Hang? Why hasn't he come back yet?"

Xiao Yu lowered his eyes and replied: "Hang has been coming back late recently, the bar has already selected the location of the store, and is looking for other things."

"Oh, no wonder." No wonder he was with Liang Dong again that night.

The conversation was interrupted for a while, and Cao Liyu scratched his head in embarrassment, thinking that it might be better for him to leave, so as not to make the two feel uncomfortable.Just as he was about to move his feet, Xiao Yu raised his head and asked him, "Liyu, where do you live now? Are you used to it?"

Cao Liyu blinked. Did Li Hang not tell Xiao Yu that he lived in Xu Zhiyuan's house because he was afraid that Xiao Yu would be worried?He curled his lips, but he didn't tell Xiao Yu: "I'm temporarily staying at a friend's house. Fortunately, my friend takes good care of me." Although it's definitely not as comfortable as living in my own house.

Xiao Yu nodded, seemed to be relieved a bit, but also seemed to be more gloomy, she lowered her head and stopped talking.Cao Liyu stood there for a while, then passed Xiao Yu and walked towards the door. When he was bending over to change shoes in the entrance, he heard Xiao Yu muttering to himself, "I'm so stupid, thinking that if I give it time, I can always wait for you On the day you can accept it, in the end, it still makes you feel sick."

At that moment, certain past memories flashed in Cao Liyu's mind, causing the shoes in his hand to fall to the ground unconsciously.He couldn't help standing up straight, walked back to Xiao Yu, held Xiao Yu's hand with bluish-white knuckles from clenched fists, and sighed: "Xiao Yu, I don't feel sick, I'm worthless It’s not because I can’t accept that you and Li Hang are gay, and it’s not because you are a couple. I have already thought about accepting these. Although I haven’t figured out what I am still struggling with, I always feel that there is something It's very important because of these changes, I have to clarify again, otherwise I can't continue to stay by your side as calmly as before."

Xiao Yu looked at Cao Liyu's sincere eyes in astonishment. For a moment, there were mixed feelings in his heart. He wanted to blurt out more questions that had been buried for a long time, but he held back, moved his lips, and finally only uttered a statement: "If you Hope, I can swear in front of you that I will definitely maintain the previous relationship with Hang, even as long as you open my mouth, I am willing to really go back to the past with Hang, as long as you wish, as long as you are willing to come back, let the three of us go back to nothing. When it happens..."

This time it was Cao Liyu's turn to be shocked: "Xiao Yu, stop joking. How could such a thing be changed back? Besides, I have already said that this is not what I mind."

"But you don't want to come back." Xiao Yu stared into Cao Liyu's eyes, making him cringe.

"I said it wasn't because of your relationship with Li Hang that I avoided it! Even if you are separated, I still need my own space to think things through."

"Then what exactly do you want us to do before we come back? As long as you ask me, I'm willing to do it. Do you want us to apologize? Break up? Or do you want me to find a girl to date?"

"Xiao Yu! Don't talk about these impossible things! I won't force others like this! Besides, have you considered Li Hang's feelings when you say that?" Cao Liyu's pupils suddenly ignited a dark flame, and he raised his voice to question , "Or should I ask, are you really with Li Hang because you like him?! Don't you..."

The following words came to an abrupt end, and both Cao Liyu and Xiao Yu were stunned, as if they had been slapped in the face by this accusation.For a while, the house was so quiet that only a few winds could be heard.

Xiao Yu frowned, took a deep breath, and quickly grabbed Cao Liyu's hand tightly, with such force that Cao Liyu couldn't break free.He told Cao Liyu word by word in a firm and serious tone: "I love aviation, but I can't lose you. For me, it's more important than anything else that the three of us stay together."

Cao Liyu parted his lips slightly in astonishment, feeling that the intimidating Xiao Yu in front of him was a stranger he had never known before.

Before he was trembling from Xiao Yu's stare, he shook off the opponent's hand that was imprisoning him, put on his shoes and rushed out the door.

"What are you doing? Why don't you turn on the light?" As soon as Li Hang entered the house after nine o'clock and turned on the headlight in the living room, he found Xiao Yu curled up on the sofa, but his eyes were wide open without any sleepiness, and he couldn't help frowning.

Xiao Yu sat up and glanced at Li Hang. The emotions in her brown pupils flickered, but she didn't say a word.Li Hang glanced at the dining table again. It was empty, but there was an extra mug belonging to Cao Liyu. He suddenly understood, but he opened his mouth and asked casually: "Have you had dinner? Going to eat it." Supper?"

Xiao Yu shook her head, and waited for Li Hang to change his shoes and walked to sit next to her, then said softly, "Hang, we may have to break up."

Li Hang didn't make a sound, first he picked up the cup Xiao Yu put on the tea table and drank two sips of boiling water, then turned his head and looked back at Xiao Yu, under the shadow of slightly longer bangs, his deep eyes were a little more serious than Xiao Yu's: " No, it's not 'we', it's 'you' who want to break up because I don't agree."

Xiao Yu shook his head with a wry smile, his slightly long hair fluttered lightly on his cheeks: "No, there is no 'you and me', only 'us', 'the three of us'. I can no longer deceive myself, I don't want to lie to you either, Liyu is not here, I can't continue to laugh and live the life of two people. During this period of time, I feel that I, this house, and everything are incomplete. Hang, you should be the most understanding , right? There is no other way but to break up."

This period of time was not only a torment for Xiao Yu, but also for Li Hang.Xiao Yu didn't snub Li Hang because of Cao Liyu's relationship, but Li Hang began to feel agitated faintly from some date, and couldn't stay in a home without one person.After the night when he saw Cao Liyu and Xu Zhiyuan leaving together in front of his eyes, Li Hang couldn't calm down.He believed in Cao Liyu, he convinced himself that Cao Liyu and Xu Zhiyuan would have nothing to do, he told himself that Cao Liyu accepting Xu Zhiyuan as a friend does not mean that he can accept his relationship with Xiao Yu, because in their world, Xu Zhiyuan is an "outsider".But he couldn't help thinking that maybe, some things had changed.This kind of thinking is like a weed that has taken root on the ground. It started to grow wildly in Li Hang's heart as soon as it took root. It made him feel like he was bewitched by a poisonous poison. He knew that the result might be irreversible, but he couldn't help but want to find out .

"You're only half right." Li Hang looked away from Xiao Yu's face, and landed on the mug with the game logo of the "Desert Island" series on the dining table, "Besides our breakup, there should be more Another way."

Xu Zhiyuan, who was processing files on the computer in the bedroom, heard the movement in the living room, came out to have a look, and poured himself some boiling water by the way. Seeing Cao Liyu throwing himself on the sofa as if exhausted, he asked amusedly, "How can I get something?" It took so long?" Smelling the slightly alcoholic smell in the air again, "I'm so interested, why did you go to drink? Why didn't you call me?"

Cao Liyu lay on the sofa half dead for a long time, until Xu Zhiyuan came over and pushed him a little worried, then turned over and sat up, muttering "I'm going to take a shower", stood up unsteadily and walked to the bathroom go.

Looking at Cao Liyu's weary back, Xu Zhiyuan made fun of him in a nonchalant manner: "Putting a knife to cut off the water makes it flow more, and toasting to relieve sorrow makes it even more sorrowful. Now you have a deep understanding, don't you?"

Cao Liyu had neither the strength nor the mood to fight back, and slowly closed the bathroom door.When the water splashed on his face and washed away a little bit of the thick and chaotic fog in his mind, Cao Liyu repeated the question he had thought of before in his heart-Xiao Yu and Li Hang were together in that midnight Xunfeng After the leafy summer, or before?

Xu Zhiyuan listened to the sound of water flowing in the bathroom, glanced at Cao Liyu's backpack, and went back to his bedroom talking to himself: "What are you doing with so much, anyway, I can't live for a few days."

The author has something to say: I suddenly want to sing: Come back soon~ The two of us can’t bear it~ (Three people: Get lost!)

These two days are not very comfortable, and I have something to do, so give up the daily update, let's safely update the two-day update... Watch me QAQ

By the way, I need to go to bed early =., =