as you meet

The reason why Ji Yusheng has been unable to determine his feelings for Song Shihe is because he feels that he has no "desire" for Song Shihe as mentioned in decadent poems.

He knew that Song Shihe must be special, because after looking at the oil painting in the Symposium, and understanding the theory of Aristophanes in the Plato Symposium behind it, it said that human beings originally had four legs, four bones, and one with two A head with a face, but Zeus can't tolerate the uncontrolled arrogance and strength of human beings, so he separates people in half and weakens their strength. They need to exhaust their lives to find their other half so that they can achieve their fullness. (1) The first thing he thought of was Mr. Song.Even if he doesn't think about it deliberately, it always seems that there are some silk threads connecting him and Song Shihe, causing him to always seem to have someone by his side in his heart, causing him to make some choices that require courage. Occasionally, if it is him, he I will also choose this way and feel at ease.

He has respect, admiration, gratitude, admiration for Mr. Song, special meaning, and a sense of soul resonance. He will feel that he is the echo in the valley and the resonance of the strings.However, all these diverse and complex emotions seem to have lost the two most important elements in this society-desire and sex.

Because love has no shape, he is often troubled by not being able to figure out his feelings for Song Shihe.

He didn't want to exchange breath with Song Shihe for cigarettes, and he didn't want to meet Mr. Song in the bar. He was intoxicated by alcohol and had a one-night stand with his decadent poet, which he thought was the pinnacle of romance. He clearly understood that he didn't I don't want to have sex with Mr. Song in the hotel bed and kiss goodbye the next day, and then go our separate ways and meet new people and never see each other again, because that would be meaningless to him.

He even felt that he hated these things, thinking that if he had these relationships with Mr. Song, he would rather that he had no intersection with Mr. Song at all, and would rather that he and Mr. Song were strangers who had never met.Because he feels that the former is more painful to him, and the latter may be just a sad and pity thing, but the former is a thing that will make him extremely painful. Thinking that if these things happen to him and Mr. Song, he Uncontrollably, I put all my thoughts on the lonely morning with no pillow next to me, no love letters to send to each other, no one to talk to when I miss, no one to lean against the window when I am old The person who looks at the moon is completely unable to put everything in the process of turning the clouds and rain, feeling the pleasure and pleasure of the senses like the decadent poets.

It is obviously not enough for Ji Yusheng to only reap Song Shihe's love for one day, or one night.

But in the poem, it is said that non-slutty love is not real love. It is said that real love is vast, it is release, instinct, wildness and nature, everything, the emphasis is on unrestrained sex, which is even the city In the iron law of love, people say that love without sex is superficial, a fake and illusory love.He is often very confused because of this, and every time he thinks of this, the thoughts in his mind can't find an outlet, and he hits a wall everywhere.He knew that he was not like this to Mr. Song, so he always wondered, can a relationship without extreme pursuit of sex be considered love?Does this mean that he does not accept Mr. Song?Or that he doesn't love Song Shihe at all?If so, he couldn't convince himself to respond to Song Shihe's confession.

So when he received that hot love letter, in addition to being so happy that he felt like the whole world was rising and spring was rushing towards him, the more feeling that appeared in his heart was that he was at a loss.Only the feelings of respect, respect and admiration can only be regarded as the relationship between teachers and students, which is obviously not enough to achieve love.And in June when he received the love letter, Mr. Song was no longer his teacher, and he lost the excuse to do something in the name of teachers and students.He didn't want to hurt Song Shihe, nor did he want to face Mr. Song with this contradictory mood, so he kept complaining that he couldn't think of a way, angry that he was at a loss, angry that he could only act awkwardly, hastily, and annoyingly run away.

But later he discovered that there were.He has desire for Mr. Song, no, more precisely, he has love for him.

To understand it in the terms of the decadent, it is desire.But to use romantic words to describe it, spring love should be more appropriate.Although they both represent instinct and desire, the traits hidden inside are different.

Desire is more about venting and wildness, but spring love is more about the pursuit and desire for beauty and love.Desire is more about wanting others to give everything, while the latter focuses on exchanging love for equal love.

I only vaguely remember that it was a midsummer night after it rained. Because the weather was too hot, Ji Yusheng sat on a rocking chair in the garden and read a book. He just lowered his head and fell asleep drowsily listening to the sound of butterflies fluttering their wings.

I just remember that the last thought before I fell asleep was that the waves in the ocean where Venus was lying may be the heartstrings of countless people touched by her, while she was about to fall into a deep sleep, the angel hovering and singing above her may be singing An ode to love.

While thinking in such a daze, when the fluttering butterflies calmed down on the flowers, he suddenly heard someone calling him. It was a somewhat familiar voice, but summer made his thoughts sticky, coupled with his drowsiness Zheng Nong, couldn't figure out who it was.

"Shengsheng."

Ji Yusheng woke up leisurely after hearing this voice, raised his heavy eyelids slightly, and saw a familiar figure dimly.With such a hazy figure, Ji Yusheng originally thought it was impossible to recognize who that person was, but contrary to that, a positive answer appeared in his heart.

Even so, even though he was prepared, when he fully raised his head and saw Song Shihe walking towards him with a smile, he still felt his whole body shake violently.

It was a surprise to the point where he himself was surprised.Because he was so surprised that he shook off the petals lying firmly on the arm of the chair, was so surprised that all the butterflies in the flowers beside the chair flew away, and was so surprised that all the flowers stopped the sound of blooming, so everything was silent. Only the sound of Mr. Song's footsteps walking towards him remained.

"Da, da, da, da", among which there are occasional "rustling" sounds of passing flowers and plants, just like spring announcing its arrival.

After a while, the person who thought about it day and night sat beside him with a gust of evening breeze, bringing a bit of coolness to the sultry summer night.Ji Yusheng felt that he couldn't help but want to post it, but he restrained himself from sitting back a little.

Time passed for a while, and the tip of his nose broke into Song Shihe's unique breath of ivy, and his deep voice came from his ear, and he asked, "Shengsheng, what are you looking at?"

Before he had time to hide it, Song Shihe saw the graceful Venus lying in the sea on the book in Ji Yusheng's hand.

"This is—" Ji Yusheng wanted to say that I was studying this, because he was indeed there.But Song Shihe moved closer and interrupted him.Song Shihe raised his eyebrows, and said with a deep smile, "Shengsheng, so you like her."

"I──" Ji Yusheng had only said a few words when he saw Song Shihe's brows suddenly wrinkled, so he stopped talking immediately.

He heard Song Shihe say: "But what to do, I'm not as beautiful as her, I don't have golden hair like the dazzling sun, I don't have curly hair like the waves of the sea, I don't have the ability to subdue the ocean, and I don't have the ability to make angels sing for me Beautiful, would you like me who is so ordinary?"

The author has something to say:

(1) Quoted from Plato's Symposium

Happy 520 everyone!Happy every day!

The following is a little bit of thoughts, if you are not interested, you can skip it, after all, everyone has their own understanding.Plato's Symposium itself has many arguments on the relationship between love and beauty, and many works have made in-depth and multi-faceted discussions on Plato's soul fatalism.My knowledge of ancient Greek philosophy is still very shallow, and I still haven’t been able to achieve a deep understanding of the symposium, so when I think about this article, what is most affected is actually only one of the more macro points. This point It was also when I was researching this subject that I was most impressed, that is, "love is actually the pursuit of beauty". This beauty is not only a beautiful and complete relationship, but also the beauty of both parties, such as wisdom, ambition and so on.Because I like this kind of relationship that love can promote mutual achievement, I boldly quoted some of Plato's arguments.