Salted Toffee

Zhu Yu didn't know why he had such a big reaction, and he didn't even know how Fu Cizhou left.

From the moment the other party gave an affirmative answer, Zhu Yu's mind was completely paralyzed as if an atomic bomb had exploded.

The quilt is very thick, and the air conditioner is turned on high.

Zhu Yu curled up in a ball under the quilt, sweating all over.

He couldn't figure it out, and couldn't think of it.

Fu Cizhou will stop because of gender.

Zhu Yu tried to understand and explained to himself.

This is normal and correct.After all, everyone has to think about themselves and their families.

But!But…

Zhu Yu grabbed the fabric of his left chest, still feeling that it was tight.

But it is clear that he can ignore it, as long as Fu Cizhou agrees, he is willing to do anything.

Why can't Fu Cizhou do it? !

The heartbeat gradually accelerated, and there seemed to be a tendency for storms to come.

Zhu Yu lifted the quilt, went out and poured himself a large glass of water, and squatted by the table panting for a while before recovering.

If I knew it earlier, I wouldn't have asked...

Don't be in a hurry...

Zhu Yu pressed his fingers on the cold floor, and regret spread from the bottom of his heart like the cold in the night.

If only...the status quo...would be fine...

The next day, Zhu Yu went to school as usual.

Fu Cizhou came earlier than him, and he seemed to get nervous after seeing him enter the classroom.

"I am." Wang Ying patted the three science test papers and an English newspaper on his desk, gloating, "I have to hand it in today."

The newspapers and test papers were folded and laid flat, and it was obvious that Fu Cizhou did it without even thinking about it.

Zhu Yu didn't speak, took out the textbook from the hole in the table, and just put it in there.

"My Yu, where did you run off yesterday?" Wang Ying didn't see anything wrong with the two people behind, and still asked enthusiastically, "Have you ever asked for leave? Or is Lao Chen blind by choice?"

"I asked for leave." Zhu Yu said lightly.

Fu Cizhou turned his face to look at Zhu Yu, thinking that it was no wonder that Lao Chen was so calm last night that he didn't even make a phone call.

"Envious," Wang Ying pouted, "I want to ask for leave too..."

After saying a few words, the bell rang for early self-study, but Zhu Yu was too lazy to read.

He habitually touched the hole in the table, and retracted his fingers the moment they touched the little shark.

irritable.

Zhu Yu folded his arms, facing the window sideways, sleeping on his pillow.

Fu Cizhou was twirling the fountain pen between his fingers, and the textbooks were spread out on the table, but his gaze was always on Zhu Yu.

The little shark didn't sleep on his pillow, and he seemed really angry.

Is it because the other party knows his own thoughts?

In that case...is it a rejection?

Because Zhu Yu is a boy, I dare not say it directly.

That is, because it cannot be said directly, it has become what it is now.

If Zhu Yu didn't intend to agree from the beginning, why did he ask?

The two of them didn't talk like this, and it was obvious that neither of them felt good.

Even so, do you have to say no?

If I knew it earlier... I wouldn't admit it.

Fu Cizhou sighed, Zhu Yu listened in his ears.

He looked at the blue sky outside the window and closed his eyes.

The college entrance examination is half a year away, just like what Lao Chen said, let's put other things aside.

It's not that Fu Cizhou doesn't like himself, or that he lacks the courage to be together, and maybe he will have it in the future.

Zhu Yu was persuading himself again.

But still not persuaded.

Zhu Yu felt that Fu Cizhou should think rationally, but he didn't want to be the other party's alternative after rational thinking.

This exchange is not reciprocal at all.

In other words, he likes Fu Cizhou too much.

The young man's feelings are clear and hot, and what he gives to others with all his heart and soul is everything, and he doesn't want to take back any impurities.

What's more, Zhu Yu always felt that Fu Cizhou was not that kind of person, but he was slapped in the face by reality, which made him have a huge psychological gap.

why is it like this?

Just because he's a boy?

Someone poked his arm suddenly, Zhu Yu didn't want to answer, and moved his body towards the window.

But the man persevered and poked again.

Zhu Yu turned his head and frowned with red eyes.

Fu Cizhou lay on the table like a puppy, pressed a piece of draft paper with his finger, and pushed towards Zhu Yu.

A big white rabbit toffee was placed on the paper, and a sentence was pressed under the toffee.

——[Did you get angry? 】

Zhu Yu didn't take the candy and didn't reply.

He stared at Fu Cizhou for a while, then turned back to sleep.

Zhu Yu doesn't know what Fu Cizhou thinks, maybe the other party thinks this kind of consideration is reasonable, so he can't find the point of anger.

Maybe I shouldn't be angry in the first place?

Or maybe it's my petty pursuit of perfection?

If someone treats him well, he should know how to be content, instead of asking for more.

Fu Cizhou chose for himself, that is, for Zhu Yu.

"Just pretend that I didn't ask you what I said yesterday." With a hoarse voice, Zhu Yu stood up and opened the test paper.

Fu Cizhou's eyes lit up, thinking that Zhu Yu was still willing to get along with him as before: "Really?"

There was excitement in his words, Zhu Yu stopped holding the pen, and couldn't help but glance at him again.

"Fu Cizhou."

It's the first and last name, three words shouted with a straight face.

Fu Cizhou's heart felt cold, and the joy he had just now disappeared in an instant: "Ah...? What's wrong?"

Zhu Yu closed his eyes and turned his face away.

When he opened his eyes again, he took the draft paper on one side and wrote down the steps of the calculation.

As if giving up something completely, the whole person looks tired and haggard.

"It's nothing."

The time was tight and the tasks were heavy in the third year of high school. Zhu Yu temporarily put aside the twists and turns between himself and Fu Cizhou, and began to focus on his studies.

Endless test papers, endless tests.

There are endless corrections to wrong questions, and there is never-ending winter.

Zhu Qin stayed in his hometown for more than half a month, and brought Zhu Yu bad news after returning home.

Grandma passed away, so he had to go back and kowtow in front of the grave.

On December [-], Zhu Yu returned to the place he hated the most when he was a child.

"Why is he here?" Someone asked Zhu Qin, "It looks scary."

"Come and kowtow," Zhu Qin replied patiently, "I have entered the household registration after all."

Zhu Yu lowered his head, neither crying nor fussing, just like a decoration, Zhu Qin would go wherever Zhu Qin told him to go.

"What did you ask him to do? He looks like a dead person. When Wei Xia left, she didn't even cry. Look at you, you raised a white-eyed wolf!"

Zhu Yu raised his eyelids and glanced at the man who spoke.

The other party was hunched over, skinny and skinny, and he didn't know how many generations of relatives he was.

The man felt creepy at Zhu Yu's glance, chewed a few words with Zhu Qin, and left.

"I shouldn't have brought you back," Zhu Qin walked to Zhu Yu's side, and said with a little guilt, "Be patient, Dad will send you back tomorrow."

"I'm done kowtowing, let's go now," Zhu Yu looked at Zhu Qin, "Dad, I don't want to be here."

He was catching the last bus back to Nanhuai, because he hadn't eaten anything all day, so he fainted badly on the way.

The toffee is sweet and greasy, nauseating.

Zhu Yu was afraid that his hypoglycemia and motion sickness would be ignored, so he took out the prepared white rice ball and stuffed it into his mouth.

Can't eat, but hard to eat.

At the end of the meal, he vomited it all up again, and the cold sweat dripped down in strands. Zhu Yu couldn't bear it anymore, and got off the car at the border of Nanhuai City.

The newly built road in the suburbs has eight lanes and is very wide, but there are not many cars.

Especially at midnight at this moment, the street lights occasionally flashed a few times due to poor contact, especially like a murder scene in a horror movie.

Fortunately, the moon is bright today.

Standing by the side of the road, Zhu Yu looked up to see the bright light in the dark blue night sky, and suddenly thought of how he used to lie in Fu Cizhou's arms, and talked to him all night long.

Disappointed, frustrated, and sad.

For a while, Zhu Yu was almost overwhelmed.

He could even hear the humming of cicadas in his ears, which was as disturbing and disgusting as the day Wei Xia committed suicide.

Zhu Yu closed his eyes, feeling the night wind howling past his ears.

On his wrist is a string of stumbling bracelets, with a small shark in between.

According to the past, he should spend a night in his hometown with Zhu Qin, and then come back together.

But Zhu Yu suddenly didn't want to be there.

He didn't like the people there, and he didn't like the place.

It hurts to stay for a second.

Being a gentle dolphin might seem more pleasing, but Zhu Yu now wants to be a biting shark.

I don't want to please anymore, and I don't want to cater to others.

If no one is brave enough to love him, be braver himself.

All the same.

Zhu Yu took a taxi back home and slept until the next morning.

He propped himself up with his head on his head, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Fu Cizhou sitting beside the bed.

"Why are you here?" Zhu Yu spoke weakly, as if his bones had been taken out of him.

"You have a fever," Fu Cizhou pressed Zhu Yu's shoulder, "Uncle is cooking for you, you'd better lie down."

Zhu Yu frowned, lay down and turned his back to Fu Cizhou.

Standing by the bed, Fu Cizhou looked down at his hands, like an abandoned puppy, not knowing what was wrong with him.

"If you don't want to look at me, I'll go," he curled up his fingers, and then let go, "but don't stop looking at your phone, at least send me a text message."

Zhu Yu's mind was in a daze, so a casual "hmm" was just perfunctory.

The bedroom door was knocked lightly three times, and Zhu Qin entered the room carrying a bowl of rice porridge.

Fu Cizhou turned his face away, spoke to Zhu Qin in a low voice, and then left.

"Put the porridge here, eat it later when it's cold," Zhu Qin put the porridge on the bedside table, "I'll get you some pickles."

Zhu Yu buried his face in the quilt, and gave another "hmm" lightly.

A while later after Zhu Qin left, Zhu Yu rubbed his eyes vigorously and touched the mobile phone on the desk.

Open it and see that the lock screen is full of messages and missed calls sent to him by Fu Cizhou.

Must have been frightened.

Zhu Yu turned off the phone again, picked up the bowl and sipped the rice porridge bit by bit.

He is not hungry, but he has to eat, rice is the best, otherwise he will faint due to hypoglycemia.

The sandalwood bracelet on his wrist made a light "click" when he raised his hand, Zhu Yu's eyelashes trembled, and a tear fell into the bowl.

Just like the morning when the second year of high school started, he didn't want to give a speech under the national flag, so he suddenly shed a tear.

No warning, not even awareness.

It's just that Fu Cizhou saw it last time and reacted violently.

This time he was alone and no one noticed.

The rice porridge was steaming, and Zhu Yu gently blew on it.

It's so hot.