can you be my boyfriend

After sitting on the subway for about five or six stops, there were a lot fewer people in the carriage.

Shu Yunzhang was able to have space to stand upright, and there was a distance between Shen Zai and Shen Zai that was not too far away, but not too close.

Shen Zai's ears were still red, and Shu Yunzhang's hand became warm from holding him for a long time.Shu Yunzhang's windbreaker was long and thick, shielding their clasped hands from the countless eyes of the crowd, giving him a sense of security in obscurity.

When it was time to get off the subway, many people crowded at the door, pushing Shen Zai against Shu Yunzhang's back, and pulling his clothes at a relatively low position.

After leaving the subway station, there is still a distance from Shu Yunzhang's home, and the two need to walk back.

It was windy at night, Shu Yunzhang stopped to tidy up Shen Zai's clothes, and hid Shen Zai's chin in the scarf. Shu Yunzhang's fingers kept moving. Because of his height, he needed to lower his head a little. Shen Zai didn't know what his eyes should look at. Nowhere, the bright eyeballs swayed up and down, and finally landed on the tip of his shoe.

"Okay." Shu Yunzhang took his hands off Shen Zai's clothes, and walked down the long stairs with Shen Zai side by side.

Shu Yunzhang asked him, "Do you feel all right?"

Shen Zai knew that he was referring to the experience of taking the subway just now, but after thinking about it carefully, his mind was full of Shu Yunzhang's shadow, and he replied unfluently: "It's okay."

"I heard from Shen Fu that you have seen a psychiatrist for almost two years."

Shu Yunzhang never took the initiative to mention his illness, this was the first time.

Shen Zai thought that he was too panicked and unnatural just now, and Shu Yunzhang just wanted to care about him.

"Wouldn't it be uncomfortable to go to a crowded place?"

"Yes." Shen Zai walked a little slower, his chin retracted, and half of Shu Yunzhang's shoulder fell.

What Shu Yunzhang didn't say was that Shen Fu also told him that Shen Zai was very repulsive about seeing a psychiatrist.

Because he was afraid that Shen Zai would be very conflicted, which would affect the close relationship between Shu Yunzhang and Shen Zai after all, Shu Yunzhang planned to hide what he was going to say next with a lot of dialogue.

But Shen Zai had obviously misunderstood it from the beginning, so Shu Yunzhang had no choice but to stop, and said honestly: "I have already contacted a psychiatrist here for you, can we make an appointment with her when we go home later?"

Shen Zai stopped talking, which made Shu Yunzhang extremely nervous.

"I will accompany you." Shu Yunzhang said.

He always followed his word, and Shen Zai didn't believe it.

"Xiao Zai, you can feel it yourself. After the treatment, you have improved a lot, haven't you?"

Shu Yunzhang is used to this, Shen was thinking.

Call him by his nickname in a gentle tone, describe his symptoms that can be regarded as sick, only use the gentle word "good", the tone is not harsh at all, and will not be like Shen Fu because he has nothing to do with him, or even use Threats and coercion, and finally put these together into words that are easy for Shen Zai to accept.

Shen Zai still just wants to know: "What does it mean to go with me?"

Shen Zai didn't want Shu Yunzhang to leave halfway.

When Shen Fu just took him to see a psychiatrist, he put him alone in a blank consulting room, knowing that his avoidant personality had reached the point of creating obstacles, and let him face a strange person alone, asking him to deal with it. The stranger told the whole of his past.

Shu Yunzhang would never be so careless.

"If the doctor agrees, I will always be with you." Shu Yunzhang could only say so ambiguously.

"Oh, the doctor probably won't agree." Shen Zai raised his head to look at Shu Yunzhang, with a very forced smile on the corner of his mouth, which made Shu Yunzhang feel that Shen Zai was actually disappointed, but he didn't want to show it to him.

"But it doesn't matter." Shen Zai sniffed, and the cold air poured in, making his little nose turn red and his eye sockets moist. Shu Yunzhang admitted that he was feeling guilty and felt very distressed.

"I'm really much better now, so it shouldn't be too difficult to get used to a new psychologist this time." Shen Zai's voice was waxy, and his smile was much more natural than before.

"Little Zai," Shu Yunzhang said, "I know this may be a very difficult thing for you, but I hope that you will be fine when I am not by your side."

"I know," Shen Zai held Shu Yunzhang's hand with both hands, "I want to go home now, is that okay?"

"En." Shu Yunzhang took Shen Zai's hand and put it on his arm. Shen Zai understood what he meant, and tightened his hands, showing a posture of being very dependent on Shu Yunzhang.

Shu Yunzhang led Shen Zai to walk on the street, his steps were smaller and slower than before.Shen Zai has a strong sense of presence beside him, holding Shu Yunzhang's arm makes him very warm.

On the road, Shu Yunzhang would let Shen Zai go on the side where there were fewer cars. If there were any potholes on the ground, Shu Yunzhang would be the first to notice, and whispered to remind Shen Zai to pay attention, but even so, Shu Yunzhang found that he still couldn't do well in the face of Shen Zai.For example, although he has read many books about avoidant personality, he still hasn't done a good job of consoling him.

When passing by a convenience store, Shen Zai tilted his head abruptly, looking at the various commodities under the bright lights.

Shu Yunzhang thought he was hungry, so he asked, "What do you want to eat?"

"No," Shen Zai looked back at him, a little shy because he was not proficient in caring for others, "You came to pick me up just after get off work, have you eaten yet?"

When Shen Zai mentioned this, Shu Yunzhang realized that he had indeed missed the dinner time, and because a series of unexpected things happened in the middle, he even forgot to go to dinner.

Shen Zai saw Shu Yunzhang's answer from his pause, and dragged his arm towards the convenience store, like a cute little fox, "Then let's go in and buy something to eat."

There were not many people in the convenience store, Shen Zai let go of Shu Yunzhang's hand, but still got very close to him.

"What to eat?"

Shen Zai's eyes scanned the rows of shelves.

Seeing that he was watching seriously, Shu Yunzhang asked, "Do you know what is more delicious?"

Shen Zai stopped in front of a freezer, he wanted to take the sushi and pasta inside, but there were two young girls standing in front of the shelves, blocking what he wanted to take.

So Shen Zai withdrew his hand and smiled helplessly at Shu Yunzhang.

Shu Yunzhang didn't say anything to him, he put his hand on his back and said to the two girls: "We want to take something, please trouble."

The girls turned their heads quickly, saw Shu Yunzhang and Shen Zai, found themselves in the way, apologized embarrassedly and quickly moved out of the way.

"What do you want to take? Go and get it." Shu Yunzhang said softly.

Before Shen Zai stepped forward, he quickly chose what he wanted. Shu Yunzhang took a look at it, and asked Shen Zai if there was anything he wanted to eat. Shen Zai shook his head and said, "I'm full tonight."

"Then let's buy another bottle of yogurt." Shu Yunzhang opened the freezer next to him, asked Shen Zai to pick out a bottle, and went to pay for it with what he got.

While queuing at the cash register, Shu Yunzhang took two more boxes of hawthorn tablets, saying that he could eat them when he quit smoking.

The clerk packed a plastic bag for them, Shu Yunzhang held it in his hand, and gently rubbed the bag against the clothes.

Under the dim street lights, Shen Zai suddenly grabbed Shu Yunzhang, who stopped and asked, "What's wrong?"

Shen Zai lowered his head, his fingers scratched the folds of his clothes, Shu Yunzhang felt the cuff buttons tightened.

Through the street lamp, he saw Shen Zai's pale white finger protruding from his long sleeve.

"Is there anything else you want to buy?"

Shen Zai let go of Shu Yunzhang's sleeves, and his fingertips slid down the sleeves until they penetrated into his palms, and there was a palpitating touch like tickling.

"I will go to psychological counseling."

Shen said while retracting his fingers.

Shu Yunzhang was right and moved Shen Zai.

When the two girls left, Shen Zai found that he also had the hope that Shu Yunzhang said, because it also meant that he would not cause unnecessary trouble to Shu Yunzhang anymore.

Shen Zai wrapped his arms around Shu Yunzhang's waist in a slightly apprehensive manner, and lightly tapped his forehead on his shoulder.

The rhythm beat like his heartbeat.