bitter fireworks

Write this time, recall the past

That fragmented picture, that heart-wrenching memory is always hard for me to let go. Looking at the crisp autumn weather during the National Day, the still green trees, the weather seems to be as beautiful as before, but the mood that has changed over time is no longer the same. I really want to ask the sky and the earth, fireworks are easy to be cold, and personnel are easy to divide, Zhichun, are you still serious about our oath?

It seems that I am passionate again, it seems that I think too much again, yeah!I have been thinking too much, always tormenting myself in the memories of the past, and I will continue to torment you, some things are history, how easy is it to go back?I have been wrong, so wrong that I can't even forgive myself.

The running water is not worrying, the face is wrinkled by the wind, the green hills are not old, and their heads are white because of the snow.In the days without you, I stay, worry, and get older...

I never understood why the people above the window sill can decorate the dreams of the people below the window sill, but now I know that when someone saw your back, didn’t you always decorate my dream?

I'm sorry, seeing him today made me feel emotional again, so let's get down to business!

In 2000, at the age of 18, I officially bid farewell to my parents.I left my hometown with my dream and lived the university life that many people dream of.

Although it is

Undergraduate, but I am studying liberal arts, and that major is not very popular.So the life in college is basically boring, and there is no self-motivation, just like many people nowadays are waiting to get their pensions, living a lifeless life.Besides, the university course itself is not tight, and you can skip classes, choose courses, and audit.

In those days, I basically like to hide in the library, not to recharge myself, just to pass the time better and fill the empty mind.

During this period of time, I also miss Zhichun very much. Whenever I walk alone on the tree-lined path of the school, watching the people coming and going, the warm scenes of men and women holding hands and playing, I always think of my Zhichun inadvertently.

I will also go to the basketball court for no reason, watching those seniors sweat profusely, and I especially like to see their bulging chest muscles, powerful arms and slender legs. As for the ball, I am not interested. I find it very strange that the round body of the body is competing for joy.In fact, I am very dirty in my bones. I always like to look at handsome guys, and I even have the urge to get close. I know that I like men, and this idea has been entangled with myself, and sometimes I even bury myself!

But people are rational, even though their nature is like that, rationality often supports me to take the normal route!Even though this route suppresses me, the vain self-esteem that can destroy everything in the world still guides me to take the normal public route.

As the days went by, I missed Zhichun more and more day by day. For a student who was alone and never left home, the feeling of missing others was really indescribable.

I finally received Zhichun's letter, and that feeling was truly incomparable. I carefully opened the envelope, savoring and pondering every word of Zhichun over and over again, as if I was afraid of missing his true confession.Zhichun was serving as a soldier in a certain city in the south. He was training new recruits. He practiced under the sun every day. He was exhausted. Sometimes the recruits were bullied and even beaten.But because he is 1 meters tall, he is tall and strong, the veterans don't treat him very much, and their squad leader treats him very well!He also told me the phone number of their company, and he can call him if there is anything or think about it in the future. This is good news.I feel like I have found a treasure, thinking that in the future, even though we are thousands of miles away, I can still talk to him...

I didn't feel lonely all of a sudden, I wasn't lonely any more, and I was motivated!My spirit is no longer so sluggish, and I started to concentrate on my studies, thinking about getting a scholarship. With the scholarship, I can spend more time talking with Zhichun, listening to his voice, and feeling his emotions.

In fact, I have a weird temper. I never say hello to strangers, and I don’t smile. Although I am not ugly, I am 1 meters tall, and I am fair, with double eyelids, melon-seeded face, and short hair Yes, for southerners, I am also considered a handsome guy.It’s not that I’m narcissistic. Many people who knew me said the same thing before. It’s not like everyone is just complimenting me!

But because I am usually not good at communication, and I never take the initiative to strike up a conversation with others, so except for a few buddies in the dormitory, I am almost unfamiliar with other people. Even if I do, I only know their names and rarely interact with each other.

In this way, with the help of letters and phone calls, Zhichun and I continued our lingering love as always. It seemed that I had never been attracted to anything except Zhichun in school. At most, it was the scholarship and the handsome guys who played basketball... …