bear hand

When I returned to the sofa, I smelled a very strange smell and felt very familiar. I thought that something had rotted and fell on the sofa. I found a note at the corner of the sofa and prepared to open it. When I saw it, Ling Hao came out with two bowls of instant noodles. I quickly put the note in my pocket, and I was very calm afterwards. After dinner, Lu Chen came to see me and we went home. I completely forgot about the note. Oh, I found that note again when I was washing my pants N days later, there was only one address written on it, which was Ling Hao's address, and then... the following line read "Fatty Ling is 500 yuan a night", although I didn't expect him at the time It's MB, I think he's a duck too.

Back to the present, I was still watching Ling Hao, he finally raised his lowered head and said to me: "Cheng Tian, ​​I am actually the same as you."

Me: "I know, I knew it a long time ago."

Ling Hao's expression was exactly as I expected, and then I started to tell him about the note, and he seemed to have been severely hit.

for a long time

Ling Hao: "Well, as you guessed, I am a gay man who provides sexual services, maybe MB in the circle of words."

Me: "...can you tell me why you became like this? I know what Ling Hao is like."

Ling Hao: "Even if I tell you, what's the use?"

Me: "At least don't spoil your body like this."

Ling Hao: "That's for survival."

Me: "But you want to do... do that kind of thing with someone you don't know or even hate at all..."

Ling Hao: "Cheng Tian, ​​have you ever experienced the feeling of not having money? In this circle, there is no love without money. Only when you have money can you have the capital to like others, do you understand?"

This time I was really a little stunned, how deeply Ling Hao was hurt.

Ling Hao: "Do you know how much I envy you all, but you will always be a minority in this world. When you are extremely happy, there are people like me at the other extreme who no one will care about when they die..."

Ling Hao was already a little incoherent, I even thought he was talking nonsense.

Me: "Then why don't you try to pursue your own happiness?"

Ling Hao: "Pursue? What qualifications do I have to pursue? What qualifications does a person who has to rely on his body for food and clothing have to take care of another person."

Me: "Then what are you pursuing in your life now?"

Ling Hao: "Pursuing... I don't know what I'm pursuing, my life...is no longer under my control."

Me: "Do you still want to pursue your own happiness?"

Ling Hao: "What is the definition of happiness?"

Me: "For me, the definition of happiness is being able to be with Lu Chen, even if you don't have a penny, as long as you are with Lu Chen, you will be very happy."

Ling Hao: "Is it happiness for you to make your beloved Lu Chen unable to eat?"

I:"……"

Ling Hao: "Cheng Tian, ​​you underestimate this world."

Me: "Since you said you envied us, you still want to have love."

Ling Hao: "Really, after he left me, I really no longer believe in so-called love."