Jean Love

As an ordinary employee working in a factory, the rest time that can be adjusted by himself is not ample all year round. Where can we go on May Day?Where to go for Mid-Autumn Festival?Where to go for National Day?At this time of year, each other will ask each other, where to play?There are so many people, it's just a day or two of holidays, and the crowded buses are gone.

Time flies, the Mid-Autumn Festival and the National Day are another year, and the Spring Festival will be celebrated in a blink of an eye. It is a traditional Chinese festival. Early on, I must have heard: "When is your factory on holiday? Will you go home for the New Year this year?" Similar questions have become Greet each other.

At the end of [-], Zhao Xin called to ask his mother when they would go home. We decided to rush before the Spring Festival travel rush. Zhao Xin said flatly, and then told her mother: "Then go back, I won't come back this year. It's Chinese New Year at home."

Mother said: "You didn't go back last year, why didn't you go back this year?"

Zhao Xin said: "The main reason is that it is very inconvenient to travel back and forth by car. It is very difficult to buy a ticket from my hometown town to Zhongshan during the New Year's Eve."

Last year, Zhao Xin did not go home for the New Year. We left the key and she came to Foshan alone. The New Year just passed, and on the second day of the Lunar New Year, I brought Chen Quan down early to spend time with her.

This year she said that she would not go home for the New Year, and my heart skipped a beat. I thought of the days when I went back last year. The neighbors in the village always asked this and that, asking why Zhao Xin didn’t come back. mouse.

That night, my mother asked me: "Xiner said she won't go home for the New Year this year, you know that? Did she tell you?"

"I know. She told me that I won't go back this year. I have a late holiday, go to work early, and coincide with the inventory at the end of the month. I am worried that I will have a lot of work when I come back after the Chinese New Year, and it will be difficult to get my head around it."

"Will Xiner come here? Will you celebrate the New Year in Foshan together?"

"Yes, she has a holiday a few days earlier than me, probably around the [-]th and [-]th of January in the new calendar."

"Oh, that's good. You can discuss it. That's okay. The two parents-in-law are together. It doesn't matter whether we go home or not. We will go back. You should pay attention to safety outside and have a good year." Mother was very happy, her face There was a gratified smile on his face.

Later, before the Spring Festival travel rush, my mother brought her two children, Chen and Wu's parents-in-law, big and small bags, plastic bucket snakeskin bags, and along with the tide of migrant workers, I sent them to Guangzhou Jiaokou Station.

When Zhao Xin came over, I was not on vacation yet. During the day, she stayed in the rented room or played around. I went to work. At night, she slept on my mother's bed, and I slept on Chen Wu's bed. Before going to bed, she asked: " Why don't you go back to sleep in the factory?"

I said: "Last year, Chen Quan was with you, but this year you are alone. It's too quiet. I'm here to accompany you."

"Oh."

We respect each other as guests. On January 18, [-], when I got off work in the afternoon and returned to the rental house, the rolling gate was closed. After I opened it, Zhao Xin was nowhere to be seen. It was approaching cooking time, and there was no one there. I called her to ask if she would come back for dinner. , She said that she was still in Xiqiao, and she might not come back for dinner. It was already past six o'clock in the afternoon, and I suddenly felt a little nervous.

It’s the twelfth lunar month, it’s getting late, the night is coming, the surroundings are cold, there are few pedestrians on the street, there are many fallen leaves on the roadside, and the lights are just on. The buildings opposite, the taxi shop downstairs, and the restaurant next door that I have transferred out are all lit up. Silvery white light, the light is monotonous and lonely.

"Why did you go to Xiqiao? Why haven't you come back so late?" I asked.

"I'm here with a friend," she said, with subtle coyness and cover-ups in her words.

"What friend? Male or female?" I asked again, the tension in my heart turning into alertness.

"Men." She was straightforward.

"It's the end of the year, theft and robbery are common everywhere, you have to be careful outside." A strange feeling rose in my stomach.

"It's okay, I'm familiar with him. I've seen his mother." She said lightly.

"Then are you coming back tonight?" I was a little relieved.

"I think I want to go back, but I may not be able to. It's a bit late, and he won't let me go."

The phone was on, and I couldn't find the right words for a moment. I was in a daze, and the phone was stuck to my ear. After a pause for a few seconds, Zhao Xin's voice came from the other end: "I will bring him back tomorrow, you can help me refer. OK?"

"I..., I'm not free tomorrow, I'm going to Foshan." My tone was stiff.

"Oh."

Hanging up the phone, I paced back and forth in the yard, lifted the lid of the vegetable basket, looked at the leftover dishes she ate at noon, opened the rice cooker to see if there were any leftovers, and walked to the gas stove to see if there was anything to cook. What to order, yes, no... Anyway, I am not hungry, and I have no desire to eat at all.

I suddenly had a heartache, which was very complicated. It was not a simple sad heartache. It was a heartache with many factors intertwined, including selfishness.Such a good girl, let go like this, has she really found someone worth entrusting her life to?how is that manCan he give her happiness?Will she be happy?She is happy, how about me?Where is my happiness?I said before that as long as she finds a good one, I will bless them. When I suddenly heard her say that today, I would feel so lost, so sad, I am very selfish!

I turned off the light, closed the roller gate, and wandered alone on the street, walked to the general market, walked back, the weather was a bit cold, I hugged my shoulders, met a worker in the same factory, and said hello: "Did you eat?"

"I've eaten." I replied quickly.

"Where to go?"

"I'm going up... to buy something."

"Aren't you going home for the New Year? Are you going home for the New Year this year?"

"I won't go back. I won't go back this year. I'll spend the New Year here."

"Oh, yes, I saw your wife yesterday. Are they on vacation? Come here to celebrate the New Year with you? That's good."

The sky was completely dimmed, and the night covered the raised and low-lying areas in the distance. The street lamps gave off a faint light that could illuminate the road ahead. The big trees on both sides of the street were dry and bare, with no green leaves on their branches.It's late winter, when the cold wind hits, an evergreen banyan tree rustles, its branches and leaves fluttering.The rolling gates of many stores along the street have been closed, and there are some messy paper scraps in front of the doors, which are gathered by the wind and stop, a bustling and desolate scene.

I tightened my shirt, put my hands on my chest again, bowed my head, and walked slowly towards the factory area.The computer has become my partner, cigarettes have become my confidant, I opened the drawer, no, not even a cigarette case, in a trance, suddenly remembered, I quit, yes, I gave myself a death order, quit Drop, must quit!If you quit, just quit, all in one go.

"Have you known each other for a long time? How did you meet?" Zhao Xin and I sat opposite each other at dinner the next night.

"It's been more than a year. My colleague in Zhongshan was also introduced by this man's relative." She lowered her head and answered in a low voice.

"Where is it from? How is that person? Who is in his family? Does his family know about you?"

"From Hechi, Guangxi, that person looks quite honest, listening to him talk and doing things is quite honest, his two brothers, two younger sisters, the younger sister is married, the older brother didn't get married, the mother is in Dongguan, and I have seen everyone in their family , I have also met some of his relatives, they are very polite and friendly, and they are very enthusiastic every time I go..."

I also asked a lot of related questions, and I got a general understanding of the situation. That person is unmarried, that person has no father, that person came from the mountains, and his family is not richer than mine. …At this time, no, always, Zhao Xin is my sister, and I am asking some questions about love and maybe marriage that may affect her life as a brother, but I asked more deeply, a few questions, I was stuck in my throat for a long time, couldn't ask, but couldn't swallow, finally rushed out, blushing, pretending to be calm: "You..., do you... have that?"

"Yes." She lowered her head and her voice was very low.

"Yes..., do you have a condom?" I also kept a low voice.

"No."

Pay attention to safety, be careful, a woman, be more vigilant in these things.Unless you really believe that this man is your lifelong reliance, you are still in the stage of understanding, everything has variables, let alone a man, in case of a change, the most hurt is a woman, you have..., you have grown When I grow up, I have to learn many things... and learn to protect myself.