Jean Love

"Does Chen Wen play basketball?" the old squad leader asked me.

"You fight, let me see." I raised my right foot, indicating that the sandals I was wearing were inconvenient.

"Then help us keep track of the score. The two little reporters just now will come over with blackboard chalk later."

"Well, no problem." I chose a marble bench and sat down, facing the basketball court, watching the male students on the court changing clothes and shoes, getting ready to go, raising their legs high, doing small hops, and doing exercises before intense exercise. Stretch slightly.

Girls walked around in twos and threes, with their shoulders hooked and their backs hooked. Some of them sat on the stone slabs outside the venue, or stood at the bottom of evergreen trees, chatting and reminiscing about the old days.

The game has started, and we cheer for the players of the two teams on the field, come on, come on, add one point, add one point.Mr. Wu, who seems to exercise a lot, has muscles all over his body. The more he runs, the more fun he gets, and the more he fights.

After half the game, it was a tie. Everyone stopped, raised the mineral water bottles in their hands, and raised their necks, gurgling, full of pride.A few drops of mineral water fell on the neck and chest. Someone raised his palm, wiped his lips, and patted his stomach a few times: "Ah! It's so refreshing! At least two more bowls of rice tonight!"

At the beginning of the second half, watching them soaring with passion and joy, running back and forth, my thoughts will always drift away unconsciously, and I feel like I am trapped in a certain transparent net, restrained in behavior, wandering and rigid, isolated, Self-punishing isolation, carried out quietly before being noticed.

I don't envy those cars and houses, those just show a person's ability, or just prove the person's pursuit. What I envy is the freedom to sweat profusely on the court, laugh and scold, and the As for the freedom to show off, I can obviously do these things, why don't I dare?Why do I curl up subconsciously?Why do I have to maintain the image that many people call gentle?

"Chen Wen, where do you work now? What do you do? Are you happy?" After the show, Dewey walked towards me, stroked his long black hair, pulled the light floral shawl on his shoulders, and held a The light yellow handbag was placed on her knees, she bowed her waist, sat down next to me, looked at me, with a faint smile on her face, friendly and natural.

"I'm in Foshan, working as a warehouse manager. I'm named as the director of warehouse management. The work is relatively easy." I said.

"Is the treatment good?"

"Compared to those of you who have cars to travel around, my treatment is only enough to eat, hehe."

"I'm making this product now. I don't know if you are interested. I can learn more about it and increase my income." Dewey handed me a business card with both hands, with a white strip in the middle of the sky blue color background, and the words Shaklee? China written on it. .

I picked it up with both hands politely, and said, "I won't consider changing jobs for the time being. Our boss is very nice, and I'm quite happy working there."

"No, no, you don't have to resign, you can work part-time, as long as you use the rest time to do it, it's very simple, you should find out now, I will call you when the time comes, we will visit, someone will teach you How do you do it. It's very simple, you should understand first, okay?"

"Well, okay." I looked at the business card again, put it away, and put it in my pocket.

The team closed at five or six o'clock in the evening, and a group of people cheered towards the center of the town. They held a banquet at Boss Lai's hotel. There were six tables at the table, with cups, bowls and flower arrangements on bright tablecloths. There was a large glass turntable in the center. Beer, Coke, Sprite, and a few plates of appetizing snacks were placed on top of it, and a cloth banner was drawn on the wall decorated with bronze and gold rims directly opposite, with similar party slogans written.

Pushing the door open, a festive banquet atmosphere came over us. They invited several teachers who had taught us. We either bowed our hands to salute, or shook hands and hugged each other.

"Teacher, do you remember me?"

"Remember, remember, who are you? Wait a minute, oh! You are XXX." The teacher patted his forehead, stomped his feet, and called out the full names of several people who were not outstanding when they were studying.

There was an uproar in the audience: "The teacher has a really good memory."

"Your class is the best class I have ever taught, really." The teacher seemed relieved, and his broad forehead glowed with wisdom.

"How about we ask each teacher to tell us a paragraph?" The class leader stood up and suggested, which was unanimously applauded and everyone applauded.This made the teacher, who used to be high-spirited on the three-foot podium, a little embarrassed, grinned, and waved his hands: "No need? No need?" She shied away.Unable to shirk away, each person made a few short sentences, with a lot of emotion, which attracted applause.

Dishes are served one after another, such as duck with sour bamboo shoots, let tofu, fish with pickled cabbage..., the wine is turned on, the Coke Sprite is filled, a toast, knock on the glass turntable, or just get up, toasting and laughing, you come and go, spacious The hotel lobby becomes crowded, and the excited people become excited. You toast me and I toast to you. This is how communication is and reminiscing about old times is like this.

Rare gatherings and taking pictures are indispensable. Except for the brief meal time, Boss Lai carried his black video camera on his shoulders and kept shooting from all angles.In the last group photo, the teacher is sitting in the middle of the front row, the female students are squatting on both sides, and there are two rows of male students in the back. The shorter ones of us stand at the back, drag a stool, stand on it, and raise our right hands to make a V Shape, prepare, start, everyone shouted at the same time: Eggplant.

The banquet was over and the teacher was about to leave. We invited them to sing K in the city, but the teacher refused, so we had no choice but to obey their wishes. With all hands and feet, lift up the gift and distribute it to each teacher.

After that, I gathered at the entrance of the hotel, assigned tasks, which car took how many people, I didn’t want to go, and I retreated in my heart. I used to like the excitement so much, but I can’t be lively anymore, and I’m a little afraid of that kind of hustle and bustle It was very lively, but I didn't say anything, thinking to myself, I'm here anyway, don't spoil other people's interest, not to mention there are a few students who teach in the city, they didn't come back during the day, and they promised to come when they sang K at night. Including old brother, old brother is my another name for Lao Guo, the hot girl back then is now a hot mom, I want to meet, so I got in the car and went all the way.

After more than 30 minutes, the car climbed up a slope. In front of us was a tall building, which was a magnificent hotel. The hall was resplendent and magnificent. The girl at the front desk was tall and slender, with a beautiful face, nodding and smiling at us.

The KTV room is on the fifth floor, and the elevator goes straight up. Passing through an aisle, both sides of the aisle are brightly lit and neon is flashing. Handsome guys and beautiful girls in uniforms come and go, nodding politely: "Good evening, welcome."

We followed the guide to find the private room we belonged to, pushed the door open and entered, there was a bathroom on the right, the door was closed, there was a room about [-] square meters inside, two tempered glass tables, there were teapots on the table, a tray, in the tray There are some glasses and some plastic jars with dice on the table.There are two cases of beer in cans under the table, and a layer of ice cubes on top.Three black leather sofas of different lengths are placed against the wall, and some movable cylindrical futon-like seats are placed in the corner. sang.

Students from behind came one after another, and when they were all there, they crowded inside, ordering songs, persuading them to drink, rolling dice, like a market, with a bit of smog, and they wanted to chat with a few people, but the music was so loud that they could only be heard by their ears. Hearing clearly, quite strenuously.

Gradually, I saw the female students sitting in a group, whispering and talking, and the male students sitting in a group, drinking and colliding.Someone stood up, crooked, seemed drunk, sat here, stood there for a while, accidentally fell on the other person, hugged the other person's waist, pretended to be drunk, and made troubles everywhere, like a restless fish tank Marlin, vowed to make some noise in the circle and liven up the atmosphere.

I raised my wine glass, looked for people to toast everywhere, or picked up dice and approached a group of people, blowing cannons, drinking when I lost, drinking a glass and a half, or singing, affectionately, the lights were dim, colored balls were rolling, and I picked a very Rhythmic dance music, dancing in front of the screen, crazy, hysterical, won applause and screams.

I like?I do not like?The more I sit, the more restless I become. Yes, I am not happy. In fact, I am not happy. This kind of ambivalence is always manifested in occasions where I should be happy. I feel like my behavior is deliberately concealing something, or deliberately amplifying something, which makes me start to hate that sometimes I am dull, and sometimes I am very artificial.

Finally, when it was over, it was past one o'clock in the morning. Many students stayed in the city directly, and some students returned to the town. I was one of them. hollow.

When I returned to the town and found that I had no place to stay, would I want to slap on the shutters of my relatives who settled down in the town?It's two o'clock in the morning!Do you want to open another room like last night?The hotel in the small town must have stopped accepting them long ago.

Suddenly I feel like a lonely wild goose. It’s not that there are any crises lurking around, but that I am really lonely, very lonely in my heart. This kind of loneliness may not be solved by buying a house, but if When I bought a house back then, at least I didn’t have to stand on the cold and quiet street and make a phone call to ask my classmates if they could share a house.