Jean Love

When I am happy, when I am unhappy, or when I miss him, I will find this message. Although I can know for sure that it was forwarded by him, as long as I look at the name, I am so familiar with it. No matter how familiar the number is, I am excited and happy. There is a feeling of being alive again, but there are more contradictions, more contradictions between love and hate. This kind of love is love for family members, love full of responsibility , the love for him, the love that tries to be able to influence and reverse, this kind of hatred is the hatred of oneself, the hatred of one's obscenity and filth.

Contradictions are entangled deep in my heart. In the end, the pointer of the balance still points in his direction. I miss him and want to see him. It has been more than three years, no, it has been more than eight years. I have too many things buried in my heart, and I want to speak them out, face to face with him, and speak them freely.

From the day we received his message, we started to ask questions, chatted, laughed and cursed, and started flirting, "Yu, are you busy? I'm in the car." I sent him a message.

"Hey, where have you been? Where is it?" It was Lian Yu's call, and it was Lian Yu who asked eagerly.

"I'm in the car, on the train, listen." I approached the junction of the train carriages so that he could hear the sound of the wheels hitting the rails.

"Oh, you're home?" He softened his tone.

"Well, the day before yesterday, I went back to Shaoguan, and now I'm returning to Foshan."

We talked about some things about this trip home. He greeted my family, my mother, and my children, with words and looks of concern.

"I thought you came to my place." He changed the topic.

"Did I tell you exactly when to go to your place?" I seemed to stir up the shallow mud at the bottom of the pool, making them indistinguishable. Originally, my heart wanted to fly to him at this moment, but I wanted to pretend to be indifferent and watch his movements quietly. Sincerely invite you.

"Didn't I tell you to come and play when you have time?"

"You're not free, what's the use of me in the past?"

"I'm free at night, I can take you to eat seafood and river fish."

"Do you include food, shelter, and sleep? If yes, I can consider it. If not, I dare not go there." I glanced around and saw no one around.

"Hehe, you bastard, you'll know when you come here, okay, I'm going to work, that's all."

"Hey, hey, wait, next month, I'll take a break to accompany you next month, I don't have time this month." I raised my voice slightly, but he couldn't hear him anymore, because I couldn't hear any movement from the other party , he has hung up the phone.

At that time, Lian Yu went to Xinhui, not far from Huicheng Station, where he helped the earthwork boss to dig hills. In the evening, the boss picks up and picks up the place. The air in the residence is very good, the conditions are very simple, and the night is too lonely. There is no shop or village, and there is no one to talk to.

At that time, Director Wu told us that my mother could go to the hospital every two months for examination and tests, and get enough medicine for two months at a time.So, I still have time to go to Lianyu's place. Before I go, I teased again and again: "Is it really free to eat and sleep? Don't let me down."

"Come here first, this guy."

Xinhui is not far from Foshan, and it should take half a day by car. In order to make full use of the time, I took four days off in a row, starting in the afternoon and ending in the morning of the fifth day. In this way, I could have an extra night. If I started in the morning and ended on the fourth day If the night ends, there are only three nights.

In the middle of the second month, I made an appointment with Lianyu. One afternoon, I happily put on my backpack, put on my new leather shoes, put on my new clothes and pants, and put on the clothes I bought in Liwan Square. Black agate, cut the flat cut that he likes to look at, went to the next door of Foshan Railway Station to take the shuttle bus bound for Huicheng, and it was almost evening when he arrived in Huicheng.

The station is not big, on the side of the road, there seems to be a hill in front of the door, with trees growing, lush and green, and the sky is dark, the station is surrounded by stainless steel fences, and a detector is passed. Two symmetrical ones on both sides of the corridor It is low-lying, with a few clumps of low and lush flowers and plants, the ground is cemented, and there is a convex stone path on the left.

It leads directly to the bathroom. The door of the bathroom is open. There is a washbasin on the right inside, several urinals in a row, and a row of squatting pits on the left. Going forward, my figure swayed, shy for a while, I hid in the squat pit, closed the wooden door, on the wall, there were many phone numbers, guns, drugs, fake invoices, prostitutes, dicks, homosexuals, all kinds of graffiti on the door panel, Mess.

In the past few years, when I go to public places, similar messes are found almost everywhere, but here seems to be more complete. I used to sneer when I saw it. Today, when I see homosexuality and see such words, I have an inexplicable feeling. , There is excitement, there is depression, there is shyness, there is fear, and there is a surge of heroic spirit that goes all out.

"Yu, I arrived at Huicheng Station, what train should I take?" I entered the station hall and called Lian Yu.

"Wen, it's here, you call a motorcycle, look, call the local driver with a yellow coat, tell him to take you to a certain platform on a certain road, you can tell him five yuan for the motorcycle fee , up to seven yuan. Do you remember?" Lian Yu had a lot of mothers-in-law and mothers, explaining everything clearly.

The friendly uncle who spoke a Taishan dialect that I couldn't understand put me at the place Lian Yu said, a newly installed platform, two long benches, and three posters pasted in the glass window .I stood on the platform, the sky was darkened, and I saw a newly opened avenue that was smooth and accessible, and some small piles of yellow soil were sparsely scattered on the road surface, sprinkled on it like cow dung, spotted and mottled, and there was a flowerbed in the middle of the road. Except for the yellow mud, it is empty, there is no vegetation, and the surrounding area looks empty. Occasionally, a car drives over, drives past, huffs, and brings up a burst of dust.

"Yu, I'm here, where are you?" I called him again, and I couldn't stop thinking about the appearance of Lian Yu, whom I hadn't seen in more than three years, pretending to be calm on the outside, but happy inside, sweet and nympho Stupid, like waiting for the military brother's wife.

After a while, a Jialing motorcycle drove over from a distance. There were two people on the car. The former was thin and thin, and the latter was strong and well-proportioned. The motorcycle stopped at a small intersection ten meters away from me, and Lianyu stepped down. After chatting with the thin man, the car turned around and drove away, beeping, emitting a puff of black smoke, which dissipated under the dark sky.

"Wen, here, this way." Lian Yu waved to me.

I tightened the strap of my backpack and trotted over.Lian Yu has not changed, a coarse clothes, smell of sweat, a high hooked nose bridge, he laughed, with a strong nasal voice, he patted my shoulder: "May I help you carry your backpack?"

"No, it's not heavy." I took a step back and followed him.

As he walked, he took off his sleeves, patted his body, and wiped his face on the warehouse tube. He could not see his facial expression clearly, and heard his voice: "Wen, I have been waiting for a long time. gone?"

"No, just arrived." I followed him again, pulled his shirt, and held his hand, a fine layer of sweat and a fine layer of sand.

"It's dirty, don't get your clothes." Lian Yu shook off.

We walked side by side, on the small road. There were scattered houses, scattered fruit trees, and open spaces on the side of the road. It was dark and dense, connected together, and piled up in a pile. After walking for more than ten minutes, we turned two or three corners. A mountain, a tall mountain, surrounded by a long forty-foot abandoned container iron cabinet with overgrown weeds.

"Here we are, Wen, this is my residence, is the air okay?"

I was about to ask, there is no house, but I saw Lian Yu took me to the front of the container, turned on the light, there was a small open space in the front, a cement tile shed, a thatched house, empty inside, only a faucet , Concrete floor, nothing else, I don’t know if this is a bathroom or a shower room, the double doors of the container, one is closed tightly, and the other is hung with a black iron lock, Lian Yu took out the key to open it, the iron plate The door looked very heavy, and Lian Yu pushed hard before it opened.

Under the light of the lamp tube, it looks decent, like a simple suite, long, with two canopy beds along one side, everything on the bed is neat, and the distance between the beds is more than one meter wide, with glue The bucket, washbasin, toothbrush, and shower gel are pulled by wires, and clothes are hung, randomly placed.On the other side is a wooden desk, on which there are electric rice cooker, kettle for boiling water and tea, chopping board, kitchen knife, some bowls and chopsticks, which are also piled up randomly, shoes and socks, hookah pipe on the floor, sloppy.

There are two windows at the height of half a person in the container, welded with iron bars, like the iron windows of a prison cell, thick and rough, compared with most construction site sheds, it seems independent and peaceful, sloppy or sloppy, in the mountains Underfoot, the air circulates, and the overall feeling is also refreshing.

"I can't help it, I just live in this kind of place, ha ha." Lian Yu laughed, not knowing whether it was contentment or self-deprecating.

"The air is good and the environment is okay. Listening to the chirping of birds and insects, it should be quite comfortable to sleep here. It might be very hot in hot weather, right?" I looked at Lian Yu, who had already taken off his coat Outer pants, only a small gray triangle.