Jean Love

After Hongchang came over, Xiaojing called Chen Wu and told me about Zhao Xin and me. Chen Wu called me and found it difficult to understand, and advised me to think twice, be cautious, and take care of my mother's feelings...

I understand their feelings very well, but I really can't say a word, and I don't even know where to start. After saying it a few times, I had to use a serious tone: "It's all like this, drive your car well, don't worry, we have our objective. The reason, you just need to maintain your own small family and take care of your mother, from now on."

"Then what will you do next?"

"Let's talk about it later."

"Find another one? It's not good for children."

"Still looking? Why bother to look for me, really."

"Then you always have some problems, right? Why are you getting divorced? I heard from Xiao Jing that her mother has always shed tears during this period because of your affairs."

My heart was pulled hard again, this is my sore spot, he caught me, I was speechless for a moment, and stopped for a few seconds: "You drive carefully, pay attention to safety, I will take care of things on my side, If you have any questions, come back and talk." I hung up the phone, I didn't want to talk about it, and I didn't want to hear it, let alone on the phone, I didn't know if my brother was driving or if his job was stable.

One day, I saw my mother in a good mood, sitting at the front of the living room, with her feet together, her head bowed, a stack of gray cloth bags on her lap, her hands busy, I pulled a stool and sat beside her. He watched her trimming the thread carefully for a while, and wanted to say something, but he didn't know how to speak for a while, so he just looked at her like that.

"You don't go to work? What's the matter?" My mother didn't look at me.

"I'm done, come and chat with you."

"How's your body these days?"

"It's much better. It's good to have a mother by my side. At least the diet can be taken care of." I patted her on the shoulder.

"No matter how good it is, I can't stay with you forever." Mother sighed: "Xiner is so kind, you don't have this blessing, you are disobedient."

"Mother, didn't you always want a daughter? Didn't you always say that a daughter knows how to love your mother? Now, she is your daughter-in-law and your daughter. She will give you a little grandson or granddaughter right away." , when it’s New Year’s Eve, a few more people will remember it, that would be great!”

"It's not the same thing." Mother shook her shoulders a few times and turned her head away.

I tentatively opened the topic. At first we chatted very easily. As we talked, my mother suddenly sobbed again. Two drops of hot tears dripped down and hit the cloth bag. She snorted and gasped, and said sadly: "Thousands of mother-in-laws are not enough to marry overnight. It's easy for her to find someone. What about you? You think so easily and hand her over to someone else so easily. Can you easily find another one in the future? Just you Even if you find the conditions, can you still treat you like Xiner? And what about Quaner? Have you considered his future...?"

"I won't look for it in the future, just take Quan'er and stay with you like this, I told you ten years ago, I won't look for it anymore." I don't remember if I ever told my mother about my inclinations, I seem to have directly said that I like men, but I don’t remember, and now I really can’t say it because she doesn’t understand, so even if I say it, she won’t take it to heart at all. What she agrees with is me My temper is too stubborn and I don't want to change, especially when it comes to my relationship with Zhao Xin.

"As you can see, you are not the only child brides in the village. They are so-and-so, and the boss was not happy at the beginning. Now they are not having boys and girls, and they are happy. Don't talk about others, just say you are new. Sister Lan and your big brother, although they sometimes bump into each other, after so many years, it’s not okay now, the children have gone out to work, the family has built a house, and life is prosperous. I just don’t know why you are so stubborn.... "After speaking, he cried again and wiped his nose on the corner of the stool.

"Mother, you don't know, in fact, Zhao Xin and I are good in everything, but..., oops! I am most afraid of the night." Mustering up the courage, it was very difficult to say this, I pulled my mother's right hand and put the back of it on my palm, and slapped it lightly a few times. "Actually, we haven't had that since [-], and we've maintained it like this all the time, pretending to be decent, for fear that you will be sad."

Say one thousand, say ten thousand, it’s not as good as this sentence, it’s like a panacea, my mother stopped crying quickly, although she didn’t look at me seriously, but her tone of voice eased a lot, she didn’t talk much, just listened carefully .

"Mother, I wanted to have a good chat with you a long time ago, but I was afraid that you would be sad, that you would cry, and that it would affect your body. In fact, what they said was right. I am too much like you, in all aspects of personality, and both Very stubborn, sometimes stubborn to the point of paranoia, always thinking that his own ideas are right, always thinking that what he does is for the good of others, sometimes wishful thinking, insisting on going his own way, and wanting others to act according to his own thinking, so that he can live a happy life It's very hard and very tiring." I tied our mother and child together first, and my mother might feel better after saying the following words.

"Mom, do you know that before we went through the divorce procedure, we really wanted to tell you the truth, but because we were worried that you would be sad, we didn't tell you. We were hiding and acting like thieves. During this time, we didn't feel well. .”

"Not to mention, I guessed [-]% to [-]% of it. I guessed it by looking at the expression and listening to the words. The person I raised myself."

"I also know that I can't hide it from you. You called me on the way home on the Ching Ming Festival... Tell me, if I told you in advance, would we still be able to get it done as smoothly as we are now?"

"You too, everything is fine, some things need to be adjusted, you learn from Zhao Xin's biological mother, hahahaha, live a simple life, don't be too strict with your children, give them more space, look back, the original How is their family? How is our family? Now, people have built a building, and life is getting better every year. As for us, we feel more and more struggling. What is the reason for this? Every member of our family needs reflective."

"In the past few years, I always feel that this is a problem of family harmony and cohesion of family members. In our family, people's hearts are outward, including grandma and grandpa, including you and father. Remember the past What my sister-in-law said, she can't be as great as you... Objectively speaking, you have paid a lot for this family."

"I know that you have been living a very tiring life. I have been aware of it since I was a child. As your most obedient son in the eyes of others, I actually don't know how to share it for you, and my ability is very limited. Obedience is the simplest and most direct way for me. The way of filial piety, but one thing, each of us should be clear that our cognition is relative and limited. If we don’t want to listen, learn, and change, it is difficult for an inherently old thinking to adapt to changes. The changing environment, after all, we are not the same person, our growth experience and the things we come into contact with are different." This is a bit ridiculous.

"Look at why we dare not tell you many things because we are afraid of hurting you. Why does Zhao Xin prefer to say many things to her biological mother, sister and brother, because they can help him solve his problems? Actually no, I know, Zhao Xin is more inclined to you emotionally. I often say that you pulled her back from the gate of hell. You must know how to be grateful, and it will take you a lifetime. She also knows, but in order to take care of your emotions, she has many things in her heart. If it doesn't work, I can only talk to my biological parents, I am worried now, you have worked so hard to raise her, and then you will have a relationship with you, there is only awe, it is useless."

"Don't be angry, let me read you a passage, which is a bit interesting: When the child is young, it is like a piece of meat, sticking to the mother; when the child grows up, some mothers are also sticking to the child like a piece of meat, which hinders the child from taking off. , and even affected his love and marriage. When the child grows up, he has to go! He has to fall into the arms of another person and love their child! Parents are reluctant to part with it, but they still have to part with it. If they want to stay, they still can’t. Stay, this is the law of life, otherwise staying and staying will surely become enemies. We all know that you love us, but this love is too heavy, and sometimes it is a burden. The best way to reduce this burden is to treat yourself Be more open-minded, we are all in our thirties, you don't have to worry about us anymore, we have a sense of proportion, even if we have a bad life in the future, it belongs to me and deserves it."

"The raw rice is already ripe. The most urgent thing now is to break it when it is broken, relax, accept, and face it. People always prefer to gather in a more relaxed atmosphere, so don't burst into tears every now and then. It will make my heart stay away from you..." "Let's spend more time discussing how to live our future life, and try not to spend time complaining about past gains and losses."

"To be honest, I have always admired what my sister-in-law said. She cried and said to you before the divorce, she is not as great as you, she is still young, she can't live a lifetime like you, she did It seems very irresponsible to make the painful choice of letting go of Nianer, a choice that loses the grandeur of motherhood."

"You and your father should have ignored each other when you were 30 years old, right? In fact, the disharmony between you and your father has always affected us. That influence is subtle. From childhood to adulthood, this is actually the root of your distress. , It can also be said that it is the root of our misery. But there is no better way, keep going, keep going, now you are all 60 or [-] years old, your greatness is only understood by your son and daughter-in-law, but what your son and daughter-in-law can repay is only the pain of upbringing Well, to use the most simple words in my hometown, no matter how you live in the future, if you have no ability, if you go home for a hundred years, I will carry you up the mountain even if you carry me. This is filial piety, you can rest assured. As for that kind of greatness, I can’t learn it Come on, I think I'm really selfish."

"Oh, it's been so many years. In my heart, I'm the same. I don't know how to live a happier life. As long as I close my eyes, my mind is full of melancholy. This is a virtue like you, haha." I patted my mother's palm a few times.

My mother stopped crying a long time ago, and she just listened carefully, and I talked nonsense, like preaching, a bit outrageous.

But fortunately, after such a profound communication, my mother no longer cried easily, and the whole person seemed much more relaxed and happy. We seemed to have untied two knots, her knot and mine, and Compared with staying out at night and running away when we got married, the pain caused by our divorce to my mother this time is mild and short-lived. This is obvious, and I am relieved.