Jean Love

Zhao Xin and I walked side by side, towards the general market.

"When are you going back to Foshan?" Zhao Xin held on to the strap of her satchel and walked on my left side.

"Tomorrow afternoon, maybe the day after tomorrow."

"When is the Qingming Festival going to the grave? Is it together or separately this year?"

"When I go to the grave today, maybe when I go home, my brother and the others have already done it. I heard from the elder brother that this year they will worship separately, and they will not cook together. There are not enough people, so troublesome."

The Qingming Festival in the village has been very grand these years, even more lively than the Spring Festival, and all the people who came back, those who lived in the town, those who bought a house in the city, and those who worked outside, all rushed back one after another. Together, each worshiped on the mountain, and cooked together when they came back, and some tombs were more concentrated, so they worshiped together, carrying raw chickens, pigs, firecrackers, incense candles, paper money coins, adults and children, lined up The long queue is very grand, women are cooking at home, the chefs are wearing aprons and holding spatulas, the old house is full of smoke, and the wooden windows overflow with bursts of aroma.

"Do you have any money on you now? Shall I give you some?" I asked Zhao Xin.

"No, I still have." She bowed her head.

"Your own money, you must know how to allocate it reasonably. Now that you have a home and don't go to work, there are more places to use your money. If you really have no money to use, just ask. As for the money in my passbook, you know, there is nothing left over these years. , the mother was seeing a doctor, the whole son went to school, and opened a shop the year before last..., but the 10 yuan I saved when I opened the shop in Dongguan was kept in the factory, and I haven’t dared to move it. I won’t share this with you. These days, Breaking apart 10 yuan is like going to a night market to break up 100 yuan, it’s gone, nothing can be done.”

"I know." Zhao Xin still held the bag and lowered his head.

"We're divorced, you are like this now, when is Hongchang going to apply for a marriage certificate?"

"I don't know, let's talk about it later."

"Go back and discuss with him carefully, whether to go back to their home or here, it's best to do it quickly, and then get the birth certificate, so that everything will be logical, when the child will enter the household, go to school, get vaccinated, everything will be fine manage."

"I think so too." Zhao Xin was thoughtful.

"When are you going down?"

"Maybe it will be a few days. It's the same when I go down. Anyway, I have nothing to do. I want to stay for a few days when I come back."

"Alright, no matter how you say it at home, with your parents taking care of you, the food is more palatable, so you can take it as a rest."

"Yeah." After a moment of silence, she asked, "When are you going to tell mother?"

This question made me tremble slightly in shock, yes, paper can't cover fire, sooner or later she will know, and she should know soon, how can I take the initiative to tell her?I really couldn't open my mouth for a while, "When the time comes first, I will go down first, and I will play by ear. I will say anything. You go back to Xiqiao first, and I will notify you." I pretended to be calm, but my heart was very nervous.

"Well, then I'm going back, you go to Lin Zi's house for lunch."

We walked side by side to the gate of the general market in the town. There were several passenger motorcycles parked on the side of the road. We stopped. Zhao Xin called a motorcycle, stepped on it, waved to me, and said goodbye to each other with expressions Indifferently, hiding sadness.

The end of [-] in the lunar calendar and the beginning of [-] in the new calendar, today is April [-]th in the new calendar in [-]. Counting with fingers, after seven years, we finally parted ways. So far, we have really counted On the face, they have never blushed, guarding a faint family affection, combining and making do, until they let go of each other, let love!

The luck in the pain is like the frog in the warm water. After all, it still jumped out and survived, but it boiled to death how many cells that were once so active.

In the days to come, if she lives well, it will be considered her cultivation. If she lives badly, it will be a crime that I can't let go of. Most of the people around me who are familiar with me will sigh: " What a great couple, why did they break up? So who so and so..., how..."

We often say freely, do our own thing and let others say it. After all, people’s words are awesome. This is an annoyance we need to face sooner or later. Most of the time, it’s like scratching, which involves my fragile and sensitive nerves. On the bottom of the surface, cover up the discomfort, show it on the surface, bloom the happiness, and live, life seems to be like this.

"Come on, dinner is ready, Chen Wen, I just wanted to call you." Lin Zi put her hands on the door frame of the folding wooden door of her house, poked her head out, saw me, and greeted me.

"Haha, it's so fragrant, you can smell it at the door, and your mouth is watering." I carried a carton of milk, a bag of apples and pears, and two golden-skinned Shatian grapefruits.

"Oh, look at you, come here as soon as you come, why do you buy so many things." Lin Zi said, while moving away a space next to the TV, motioning for me to put things on it.

"Wash your hands and get ready to eat, hey, where is Xiao Zhao?" He glanced back quickly, but he was gone.

"she's back."

"Go back to your house?"

"No, go back to her biological parents' house."

"Oh! Oh! Why don't you ask her to come over for dinner? You see, the food is cooked enough for her."

I clapped my hands, walked straight through the alley, and came to the kitchen. Lin Zi's lover, my colleague, wore a checkered shirt, a pair of gray slacks, a pair of red and black flip-flops, with his left hand on his waist , holding a spatula in his right hand, posing in a weird door god-like shape, standing by the gas stove, staring at the stove sign directly in front of him, studying?In a daze?

"Why are you in a daze!" I took a big step, leaned over, roared, and slapped him on the left shoulder.

"This little boy scared me." He quickly came back to his senses. "I didn't buy duck, I bought fish, sour bamboo shoot fish."

"It's okay, duck with sour bamboo shoots, fish with sour bamboo shoots, and sour bamboo shoots, all of them are ready, hehe, smelling this fragrance, I feel hungry, and I haven't had breakfast yet."

"It'll be fine right now."

I sat on the wooden sofa and chatted with Lin Zi. After a while, his wife was holding a flat stainless steel wide-mouth basin with both hands. He rubbed his fingers, put it near his mouth and blew several times in a row, turned around, picked up his slippers, ran out with a snap, and turned back, holding two beers in his hand.

"Come on, let's eat." It was light, serious, without formality and restraint.

We sit around the table, fill up the wine, lift the bowl, bang, lift the chopsticks, and eat a big piece.

After dinner, I called the motorcycle driver who picked me up in the morning, took me back, dropped me off at the entrance of the village, turned around the end of the village, and stepped on the grassy ridge, I went straight to my grandfather’s grave. My brother came at noon Yes, the weeds around the grave have been cleared up, incense candles are lit, firecrackers are lit, wine is poured, and a stack of ghost coins is hung in front of it, printed with chicken blood.

Standing there, I saw that the front of my grandfather's door was facing a long-running stream, a round deep pool at the bottom, and a clump of southern bamboo beside it. I don't know when it was burned, and most of the bamboo It has dried up, and far away is a fertile vegetable field. In this season, weeds are overgrown and connected together. At the end, there are high mountains and steep mountains. A ribbon under the mountain is the main road connecting the villages and houses. The trees on both sides are prosperous, and the road does not feel like it used to be. open.

"It's nothing else, the main thing is you three brothers. His wish can be summed up as, telling your brother to take good care of his little family, telling you to quickly find a girl to marry and start a family, and telling me to call Chen Wu and let him Go home as soon as possible, and tell you brothers to take good care of Zhao Xin, she is young..." I thought of my grandfather's last wish when he passed away.

"Mother, just ask her, if she agrees..." "She agreed and said she would be back in a few days." "Didn't she say anything?" "No, she was also worried about you on the phone Do you have any comments? I told her that you agreed, and she was very happy and said that she would be back in a few days." "I didn't say anything more, I don't know what to say, for me, this is a pit, I myself I dug a hole for myself, and used this hole to bury myself alive, maybe for a few years, decades, or just for a lifetime. What I did wrong was that I took a girl full of beautiful visions as my back. And she , I don’t know at all.” I remembered the scene and every sentence of the conversation when I promised my mother, and I vividly recalled it.

Tears blurred my vision, I turned around slowly, and knelt down on my grandpa's face: "Grandpa, grandson is not filial! I failed to fulfill your old man's last wish, and Mao Ya got divorced. Back then, I was naive I thought that even if I don’t love, I can at least take care of it. On the wedding night, I realized that I was wrong, completely wrong! Over the years, I seemed to have drawn a circle and made a cocoon. At first, I just wanted to put myself Trapped, but I slowly realized that this is a bondage, not only myself, not only Zhao Xin, maybe not only Chen Quan, but today, we went through the divorce procedure..."