our psalms

In the established line of sight, I watch the desolation.In the endless hopelessness, I look forward to rebirth.Just like Lao Jiang, at the last moment, before boarding the police car to accept fate or the retribution of karma, he shed tears, what is his rebirth, there are many things, there is no possibility of turning back, but But what I saw was such a calm smile.

I really want to ask him, is it really possible to laugh while weeping?

"Go back to where you're supposed to be!" were the last words he said to me before staggering into the van with flashing lights.

Behind him is the boundless Kongtong, and in front of him is the boundless emptiness.I smiled silly.

What kind of power Lao Jiang was moved by, made him lose everything in the end, but he didn't have any regrets or complaints.It is even possible that his life is about to end here, as if it will come to an end because of someone I should not have anything to do with him.Some people will say that he deserves it, but I can only be at a loss.

In my mind, I returned to that small mountain village again, as if I heard Uncle Tian shouting, go back, go back to your father...

In that desperate and lost eyes, there was exhaustion and sadness.I almost forgot how I could keep the tears from flowing and still act so realistically.

I can't tell him that I want to come back to you.All I can tell him is that I'm fine and don't worry.

"What are you talking about, where is Cheng'er?!" Lao Cao grabbed my collar, almost forgetting that the neck strangled in front of his hands was a person's neck. "You know where he is, you must know, tell me, tell me quickly!"

"Let go... let go..." I could barely breathe, and maybe I would have been strangled to death by him later, and he would never know that what he strangled to death was Cheng'er, whom he was looking for day and night.

That hand tremblingly left my skirt, and then I saw a strange gleam in his eyes, whether it was puzzlement, despair, or expectation.

"He's fine, don't worry!" My words became less and less convincing, I just said he was fine.But I can't say I am him.

I never thought that I would be unable to get rid of the entanglement of a desperate father or lover because of this. In a sense, the more he is like this, the more moved and worried I am.

"It's impossible for you not to know where he is. You can't lie to me. I have been a policeman for so many years. I can tell at a glance that you are lying to me!" He said with certainty, "You know, that's my baby, I The most important baby in life!"

When tears welled up from my eyes, I couldn't forgive myself for my cowardice, why couldn't I persist until the end.When Lao Cao looked at me with strange eyes and my abnormal emotional loss, he was even more sure that there must be some kind of connection between me and his baby.But why, you really can't see that I am him, or you are lying to yourself, your good baby can't look like this.

……

"Looks are very important!" Lao Jiang once said, he was very sure and absolute. "Especially for comrades, in my impression, it is impossible for anyone to like an ugly monster like you."

"Then why are you clinging to me!"

"I don't know. Now that you have me, you can't be satisfied, can you? After all, I'm still not as attractive as Director Cao?"

"You're lying to me, and you're lying to yourself!" I don't know how many times I pushed Lao Jiang who was pressing on me far away, and then heard him sitting in the corner smoking and sighing, I was the first Two small buildings.

I have to admit that many of Jiang's words are indeed the truth among the truths.But he himself was unable to follow the correct path he knew to reach the end. He didn't know why, and he couldn't explain why, and I was the same.

……

A few days later, the moment I walked out of the police station, I finally understood how a policeman would go crazy and torture a suspect.He kept repeating that question almost every second, where is Cheng'er? !

I am silent in endless sadness, moved and watched in silence, every move, every gesture, I am happy, I am satisfied, because standing in front of me is the person I have been thinking about day and night, the person I have never dreamed of The person I want to see, now he can stand in front of me, no matter what the reason is, I thank God for giving me the courage and the opportunity to breathe under his shadow.

And if I come out, it means that he gave up, does it mean that he is desperate?No, it's impossible...

There was a figure blocking Lao Cao. When he rushed over and pinned me to the ground, he yelled almost frantically, "Tell me, where is my baby!!!".

"Mr. Police Officer, what crime did he commit? I am He Ziqing, the director of the Affiliated Hospital of the Third Military Medical College, and this is my assistant. I need to know what happened..."

Since then, my name is Chen Datong, a middle-aged man, at least I look close to middle-aged, I have a thick beard, a vicissitudes of life, and a scar on my forehead.Cao Yongwen, the director of the police station, and I are good friends. The reason we became friends is because he firmly believes that I can bring his favorite baby back to him.

"Do you still remember that day when you cried and begged me to help you?" He Ziqing, the middle-aged military doctor who rescued me, walked over with a syringe in his hand and inserted it into a blood vessel in my arm. The bright red blood slowly Fill that little container. "I promised you that I will do my best."

"How do you know I'm there?" I rubbed my arm that was stung by the needle, but was stopped by Uncle He, "Don't touch it, you need to use alcohol to disinfect it, it's too painful to insert a needle for such a big person. To be honest, you After I got off the train and ran away that day, I was sure that you must

Will go back to your dad, but I waited for a long time, you showed up much later than I expected, I almost gave up. "

"Really... I just, seeing him so sad and hopeless, really hurts my heart."

"Okay, don't hurt, I just don't understand why you have to refuse to recognize him, Director Cao is a good man, I can tell, that day...why did you stop me from telling him the truth, he can't dislike you of!"

"Who knew?!" I yelled, "Who would want an ugly bastard, you don't understand, because you won't sleep with me!"

The test tube that was still shaking in his hand stopped, and my words surprised the doctor in military uniform.

"I really don't understand..." He said thoughtfully, he didn't understand the relationship between men and men, or he didn't understand what I said.I also do not understand.

Once, Lao Cao invited me out for dinner and brought his beloved daughter with him. She should be in the United States, but she came back to his father frequently. If you want to hide the truth from Lao Cao, you must also hide it from her.

"She just came back from the United States, she is not sensible, don't be surprised." Lao Cao picked up the wine glass, one glass after another, without restraint, I remember that he would not drink like this before.

"Since my younger brother disappeared, he has been like this." Cao Wenxi's tone of voice became unbelievable. In just one year, she has changed from a crazy girl to a lady. "I really hope that Uncle Chen can help my uncle and find my brother!"

"I said it at the beginning. I just met him in the mountains to buy medicinal materials. He asked me to report to Director Cao that you are safe." I don't know how many times I have told this lie, but it seems that it is still far away for them. Not enough.

Lao Cao looked at me depressedly and said, "I've looked for it, and I've searched all over, but... nothing..." After finishing speaking, he continued to clink glasses with me.

"Are you sure you are in Wenshan Town?" Cao Wenxi asked seriously, "It's very remote there, close to the Sichuan-Tibet border, how could he survive there?!" She felt extremely incredible.

"I'm sorry, I really don't know anymore." I looked at Lao Cao, and only hoped that he could drink less. I still remember that when he drank too much, his head would hurt.

To be able to be with my favorite old Cao from time to time, and to see him, I am really satisfied.

And Cao Wenxi, there is no reason to be so close to me, Chen Datong.

"I happened to be passing by, come up and have a look!" She said to Uncle He, but her eyes were on me who was helping Uncle He organize the documents on his desk. "I heard from my dad that Professor He has deep medical research on cosmetology. I really want to try doing cosmetology here, hehe."

"Cao, you made a mistake. I'm not a beautician. I'm just a doctor. If you want to change your look and have plastic surgery, I might be able to help you." Uncle He looked at her with his glasses on. Look at me, "But I think you seem pretty enough already, you don't need plastic surgery."

"Oh...Uncle Chen, I haven't seen you for a long time, and my dad has been thinking about you, and he went to Wenshan again this week." She turned the conversation to me.

"Going again?" I don't know whether to continue to be moved or feel guilty.

"Yeah." I saw Cao Wenxi staring at me intently, I recovered and continued to do my work, "Director Cao is really a competent father."

"Hehe, is that right... It's almost time for lunch, how about going to eat together?"

"It's not easy for an old man like me to go out with you, so let's go with your father next time."

"Hehe, it looks like I don't have the luck to invite Uncle Chen." She carried her bag, said goodbye heartily, and left the dean's office.As soon as she left, Uncle He turned around, took off his glasses, looked at me and said, "She may have noticed something."

"It's okay, I know her well, she shouldn't..."!