Bear Love◇Paradise Station◇

It was 10pm when I woke up, and my mother was crying next to me, "Son, you finally woke up, you scared me to death!"

I only felt a burning pain in my back, "Mom, where is my dad?"

"He went to a friend's house to drink. Son, does it hurt?" Mom gently stroked my back.

"It doesn't hurt, it's nothing. Mom, I'm sorry!" I said, holding my mother's hand.

My mother put her arms around my head, "Son, neither your father nor I can accept the fact that you are gay, can you like women? How about I ask your second aunt to find you a few daughters for a blind date? "

Looking at my mother's increasingly clear wrinkles, I know that she has been worrying about me all her life. She thought that after I graduated and worked, the old couple could live a comfortable life, but I didn't expect that my gay status would make them even more upset.

"Mom, I'm gay. It's an indisputable fact. I can't change it. I tried to have sex with women, but I'm not interested at all. Mom, it's true." Her hands are not obvious, they are still so soft.

The mother burst into tears again, "How could this be! How could this be! Is this a crime?!"

"Mom, don't cry. I don't expect you to accept me. I just want you to believe that I'm just a different sexual orientation, and everything else is the same as ordinary people. I didn't do harm to the world!" I cried as I spoke.

My mother wiped my tears lightly, and was silent for a long time, "Well, I believe my son will not do bad things! No matter what you do, you are my child, you know!"

After my mother was in a stable mood, I told her everything about me, "Mom, now I'm not hiding anything from you, can you understand me?"

My mother sighed and said: "Oh! This is fate. I can understand your thoughts after hearing so much from you, but you have to know that homosexuality cannot gain a foothold in China. After all, China is still a traditional society. I hope you can Change as much as possible, okay?"

I promised her with a promise. What she needs at this time is comfort and a white lie.

After 12 o'clock, my mother let me go to bed. As soon as I lay down, I heard the door opening-Dad came back.

"You bastard, get out!" From the tone of his voice, he must be drunk.

"Lao Ye! Why are you making trouble so late! Go back to bed!" Mom walked quickly to the living room.

"I'm making trouble? Is it fucking me or he, he is making trouble!? Don't bother me! Come out!"

I know my dad's temper. He always hoped that I could be perfect. Now I can't be perfect, and I can't exist in front of him in the future, so I made a decision in my heart.I quickly got dressed and walked to the living room.

"You really came out! Didn't you beat you enough just now?! Okay! I'll give you one last chance, do you want to change?" Dad said, leaning against the wall, a little unsteady.

"Dad, I'm gay. I haven't broken the law, and I won't break the law. I can't change it." I looked at him firmly.

"Ye Zhen, Ye Zhen! You are worthy of being a descendant of our old Ye family! It's a pity that you shouldn't have such a temper at this time! I'm going to kill you, a prodigal son tonight!" He walked out, and when his mother saw this, she rushed forward and jumped on him.

"Xiaozhen, run away! You know what happens to your dad after he drinks! Run away! Don't argue with him!" Mom shouted at me while holding Dad back.

"You fucking don't run away! Don't you have the kind of homosexuality!" Dad dragged his mother away, how could his mother's strength hold him back!

I knew something was wrong, so I opened the door and ran out.

It was snowing heavily outside, there were few pedestrians on the road, and the surrounding was eerily quiet. I found an Internet cafe and went in to sit.

I'm so upset, I don't want to think about anything!I called Zuo Ming.

"Peerless, why are you calling so late? I just fell asleep." Zuo Ming said.

"Zuo Ming, I'm out of the closet." I tried to lower my voice as much as possible, although there were not many people around.

"What?! What's going on?" Zuo Ming's tone changed immediately.

"I don't know how they know. Someone sent me and you and photos of me and Zhao Yun to my home, and even called my home. My dad beat me up, and he even took a knife just now. Come and kill me, I can't go back." As I said that, I burst into tears.

"Are you crying? Don't cry! Do you have any money? I'll transfer some money to your card tomorrow and you spend it first! Why don't you come to Beijing! Let's live together! Okay?" He said anxiously.

"I'm rich, you don't have to worry about me, it's just that I'm so uncomfortable now, I can only call you." I choked up.

"How about this, you come to Beijing after the new year, and you talk to them again, okay?" Zuo Ming's gentle tone made me feel much more comfortable.

"Hmm, thank you for reassuring me, I'm fine." I stopped crying, it's really important to communicate with people.

"So where are you staying tonight?"

"Let's make do with the Internet cafe tonight. I won't be able to sleep even if I go to the hotel. It's fine to play games here. Well, you go to sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow, good night."

"Well, if you're sleepy, you can sleep on your stomach. I'll sleep first, and we'll talk tomorrow! Good night!" Zuo Ming hung up the phone.

At this moment, I don't know what to do, the scene of my father scolding me is always in my mind, and my mother's crying makes me heartbroken, so I just sat stupidly like this, and it was dawn before I knew it.

When I got home early in the morning, my father was already sitting in the living room, "Ye Zhen, sit down." My father said blankly.

hope?Is this hope?I sat down on the chair next to him.

"You know how many members of our family there are in this city, and you also know how much I want to save face. I absolutely cannot tolerate people saying that my son is gay. Now I will give you two ways. For all the contacts of gay men, I will ask your second aunt to find you a partner, get married this year, and live an honest life; the second way, you leave this home, leave this city, and we will sever the relationship between father and son. You choose .” My father lit a cigarette and took a deep puff.

I know my father's character very well. My mother and I have always been the only ones who obeyed his arrangements. We dare not have the slightest objection, but his words drove me to nowhere. Am I going to give up my family?

"Dad, please listen to me first, please don't be angry. Since high school, I have found that I have a good impression of boys, but I don't like girls at all. Yes, I had a relationship with Zhao Xiaoyu, and I regret it too, isn't that I would. Then I tried to have sex with a woman at work, but I wasn't interested at all, that made me realize that I'm real gay, and women won't be happy if I get married, isn't that Is it hurtful? In the days that followed, I met a Beijinger. He was a good man and treated me very well. If he was a woman, you would accept him. Unfortunately, he is a man. Is gender really so important? ?In news reports, an octogenarian man married a bride in his twenties. If you were the bride’s father, would you agree to the marriage? Would you agree to it just because they were a heterosexual marriage? If yes , Is this too extreme? Since love can transcend age, true love can also be produced between men. Dad, you are a scholar, I think love between the same sex is great love, love that transcends gender! You said Really?" After saying so much in one breath, I looked at my father anxiously, hoping for a miracle!

Dad stubbed out the cigarette butt, "I'll listen to your nonsense patiently! Alas! Son, you are so old, I have never praised you, you must be very angry with me, in fact, you have always been my pride, We never need to worry about your studies, but I said that you are not as good as other secondary school students. That is because I hope you can see your shortcomings compared with others and constantly improve yourself! Hope your child will become a dragon, which parent doesn’t think so? I am right You are harsh, but it’s all for your own good! I never dreamed that my son, my only son, would be gay. There are so many people in the family. If others know about the old faces of me and your mother, what will happen? ?I don’t care if there will be true feelings between same-sex people, I just know that this society only accommodates couples of men and women, not lovers of men and men! Don’t blame me for forcing you today, but I have no choice, you choose yourself, The family is still your own feelings!" After he finished speaking, he coughed a few times, and he got angry for me.

I was silent, I need to think about it, this decision is very important, I have to give up one side at home and emotionally.Home is such a warm word. Everyone needs a home. Home is our safe haven at any time. Emotionally, I am gay. This is an unchangeable fact. I have such a perfect man as Zuo Ming. Let me give up It's like killing me!So after thinking about it for 5 minutes, I made my final decision.

"Dad, I'm leaving here, but you and my mother will always be my parents. This will not change. I hope you respect my decision and forgive my son for being unfilial! It's just that I can't change this fact!" I looked at Dad's eyes, his sockets began to fill with tears.

"You, let's go." He turned his head away from me.

My mother came and hugged me and cried, "Son! I can't do anything about your father's decision, but you are our child, and we will protect you at any time! Since you have decided to leave, you must be more careful in the days to come, often Call home to report that you are safe, okay?"

"Okay, Mom, don't worry, I haven't been out for a year or two, I'm fine." I looked at my mother carefully, and I don't know when I will return after leaving.

"Today is New Year's Eve, let's go after the New Year, Lao Ye, what do you think?" Mom pushed Dad, but Dad didn't respond.

"Mom, I'm leaving now, I've grown up, trust me, okay?" I put my arms around my mother, and whispered in her ear, "Mom, I'm sorry."

After packing up my luggage, my mother stuffed me an envelope, "This is 5 yuan, you take it, and tell me when you run out of money. I will talk to your dad, and let you come back when he thinks about it." , don't treat yourself badly!"

"Understood, mom, don't worry, I will live well, you two don't quarrel, I don't worry, hehe." I tried to smile to ease the sad atmosphere.

I opened the door with my luggage, "Dad, I'm leaving, take care of yourself!" He didn't look at me, he lowered his head and smoked.

So I left home, and this was the last time I saw my parents.