silver sea

After the last line was sung, before the applause broke out, a girl in the front row seemed to come to her senses suddenly, and burst into tears.

Qiu Sheng was also frightened by her, and quickly turned down the performance stage to ask what was going on, and the director team made a gesture to hurry up and catch up with the filming.

Qiu Sheng had an impression of this girl, she and her boyfriend were the first to respond when they sent out invitations everywhere.He guessed that the other party should know Yinshan, and his tone softened a lot when he spoke.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm, I'm so happy...it's okay." The girl's eye makeup was crying out, and a few people of the same age next to her handed over tissues, and she thanked her incoherently, "My boyfriend and I met at your performance ...I thought I would never see you and Wen Xia performing together again, today I am really excited—”

Qiu Sheng frowned, looking at the shadow of the bassist on the stage, he was unmoved, still standing on the edge with the piano in his arms.

The more she talked, the more excited she became. Qiu Sheng wanted to get rid of it but was held tightly by her. He looked at the camera, but the director didn't mean to stop. He obviously felt that there was a so-called sense of story that they lacked in this issue, and he didn't realize that Qiu Sheng Asking for help.

"I really like you guys, Qiu Sheng, who I held your hand in, but why did you have to be so sad in your last performance? Why did you have to be like this..."

Qiu Sheng began to feel dizzy, and his eyes turned black. He tried desperately to break free from the girl, but it backfired, and he lost his strength.

"Wen Xia, are you there? I, I really want to ask you a word!"

No, don't ask!

Don't ask him, don't make me... embarrassing again.

Qiu Sheng wanted to stop him, but Wen Youxia's breath was approaching, and he grabbed Qiu Sheng's shoulder with one hand.He was tapping Qiu Sheng with his fingers in a certain rhythm, signaling him not to be too nervous.Qiu Sheng's expression was indifferent, and he frowned slightly, maintaining his normal appearance but his heartbeat was getting faster and faster. He seemed to be divided into two halves, and the part above his chest floated towards the sky with the sea breeze.

Sore throat, tinnitus, he squeezed his hands with the last bit of rationality and thought: How could he start to be afraid at this time?

It came down to his fear of being mentioned about that.

But the girl didn't know if it was intentional, she burst into tears, reflecting the light on the stage, her beautiful face was distorted, she opened her eyes and asked Wen Youxia, "I was there at your last performance, why did you smash the piano?" , you even said at the beginning that it was the new bass that Qiu Sheng gave you!..."

Wen Youxia stood sideways in front of Qiu Sheng, but didn't want to respond to her, only heard the girl say to herself:

"Why are you leaving?! Why!"

The director team finally realized that she was not in the right state, and saw Qiu Sheng's face turning blue under the light, so they stopped shooting and pulled her away first.

Qiu Sheng couldn't hear anything else. He felt that there were people running around beside him, and the strength to hold him was not enough to calm his heart palpitations.He had difficulty breathing, and apart from the constant "buzzing" in his mind, there was only the heart-piercing sentence, "Wen Youxia, why did you leave?"

Why did you go, why did you leave me?

A dream that he had painstakingly maintained a few days ago shattered at this moment, colorful glass was scattered all over the ground, he had nowhere to stay, and no matter how he walked, he would be stabbed and bleed.

"Qiu Sheng? Qiu Sheng! Look at me, take a deep breath—"

Is it Wen Youxia?

Qiu Sheng tried his best to open his eyes. He was held by Wen Youxia's hand, and his vision shrank into a tiny spot of light.In the center of the light spot, Wen Youxia turned his head and shouted at someone: "Please bring his medicine here!...the one in the white vial!"

Wen Youxia's hand was very warm, and Qiu Sheng subconsciously circled the ring finger of his plucking hand, opened his mouth, and wanted to say "no", but he just couldn't make a sound like vomited a bubble.He heard Wen Youxia talking, through a layer of water, it was clearly right next to his ear, but he couldn't hear clearly, as if he said...

"Sorry……"

Why are you sorry again?Didn't you say you don't like to listen? Why don't you have a long memory?

Qiu Sheng pressed against his shoulder, and Wen Youxia's hand protected the back of his head.

To outsiders, it seemed as if they had finally let go of their previous suspicions in the face of the sudden illness, and Qiu Sheng also felt that he felt Wen Youxia's warmth.

The sea breeze does not understand the complex emotions of human beings, and continues to blow across the silver-white beach as if nothing had happened. A string of small lanterns hung during the performance flicker innocently, trying to construct the original fairy tale atmosphere.

Qiu Sheng's eyes became clearer, his breathing slowly returned to normal, and his heart still ached terribly.

He saw himself climbing Wen Youxia's back, his wrists were empty.

He suddenly missed the crude bracelet made of bass strings, the pick, and the bell that would not ring.

A momentary loss of consciousness, like an out-of-body experience, has happened once before.When Qiu Sheng came back to his senses, he was already in the car, the door was tightly closed, the window was opened a crack, and he could vaguely hear someone talking outside.

The car didn't drive, Wen Youxia sat next to him, saw his eyes rolling slightly, and asked, "Is it better?"

Qiu Sheng said slowly: "...Well, how long has it been?"

"Less than half an hour." Wen Youxia glanced at the time.

Qiu Sheng was exhausted all over, he realized it later, and suddenly became nervous: "I didn't do anything, did I?"

"Just now, your body temperature was a little high, and you didn't respond to any calls." Wen Youxia said, "I gave you medicine, two pills. I remember this amount before."

He was only telling the facts, while hiding a finger.

This action made Qiu Sheng feel that he might have bitten Youxia while feeding the medicine, but he couldn't remember what he had done, and his whole body seemed to be pulled out of his body - but compared to being sent to the hospital after passing out directly, At least now he can control his limbs.

His hands and feet were still sore, Qiu Sheng leaned against the back seat of the minivan, not wanting to move at all.

He closed his eyes slightly, his face was pale as if he would faint again at any moment, Wen Youxia observed for a while, and rarely took the initiative to speak: "Gu Qi and Xiao Lu cooperated with the director team to shoot some shots."

"Oh……"

"Are you still dizzy?"

"A little tired." Qiu Sheng said, turning his head to look at him.

When they were together, there was rarely such a situation: he was taciturn, and Wen Youxia searched his brains to find topics, in order to ease the awkward silence.

As expected, I found worry in Wen Youxia's eyes, and the invisible hand holding his throat seemed to be half loose. Last time, Wen Youxia didn't. In his nightmare, there was a lonely long street with no end in sight. It was so big that he was about to freeze to death, but his hands were hot.When Gu Qi woke him up, Qiu Sheng found that he had been bandaged, and after applying the medicine, it was cold and numb.

Now the palm of his right hand has fully recovered, and it is even difficult to find traces without careful identification. Only four years later, Qiu Sheng has been pretending to be deaf and dumb, assuming that something never happened.

"Gu Qi said..." Wen Youxia's throat moved with difficulty, "You had a similar situation before."

Qiu Sheng couldn't help frowning: "Why does he say everything?"

The following words "nosy" were left behind, but were interrupted by Wen Youxia.He arched his upper body in frustration, covering his face with his hands, Qiu Sheng couldn't see if he was sad, but he heard Wen Youxia's voice was rare and dull, trying to suppress the pain: "I really didn't expect this to happen."

Thought you can not go.

why are you leaving.

Not only the crazy music fan, Qiu Sheng also wanted to ask countless times.

When he can't sleep, when he can't eat, when his stomach hurts and his body is covered with cold sweat.But he understood that the answer was the only one, because the conflict between him and Wen Youxia was irreconcilable at that time, sticking together would only hurt the two of them even more, and a period of separation is the way to calm down.

Maybe they were too calm, and almost turned into mutual hatred.

"Do you feel scared?" Qiu Sheng asked softly, "I saw it just now. I may be like this all my life, like a madman who can lose his temper anytime and anywhere."

"You are sick." Wen Youxia's voice came from between his fingers, tactfully denying.

Sick, yes.

The words that he didn't say out of his heart a few years ago unreasonably invaded Qiu Sheng's consciousness at this moment.He broke Wen Youxia's hand and forced him to look at himself.He didn't know why he felt sad, "being sick" was something they had known for a long time, Qiu Sheng admitted it before, but later he didn't want to admit it, and now he finally admitted it again.

"Yes, I'm sick." He felt that Wen Youxia's hands were cold, and smiled wryly, "You can also see that I can't maintain an intimate relationship with someone for too long now."

"..."

"And it can't be changed, at least in a short period of time." Qiu Sheng said, lowering his head, "I don't want to admit it, but you are afraid, or you think we don't talk about it...it's correct and sensible. I just...I accept it No, once you mention something, don’t say that now, I’m so angry that I want to kill—you think I’m mentally ill.”

"Qiu, you look at me too."

Qiu Sheng looked away from his hands, feeling his heart feel stuffy again.

"It's not your disease." Wen Youxia said, "You face it more than I do. It's me...I can't do it, I want to get out, but every time I hear that song "Alice"...the past 20 years Years of accomplishing nothing, having nothing, I was so selfish and... too weak. That made me feel like a cripple and powerless."

"..."

"So after a lot of time I was wondering if there was a way to get it back, would we be better off."

"..."

The devastating blow was not formed overnight, everything was proceeding in an orderly manner according to the original track and the predetermined direction, and suddenly a variable appeared——

As a result, all the established results were overturned and destroyed, leaving no room for revision.

A person who is not strong at all faces the ruins, like the beautiful reality of the past turned into a mirage, and nothing is left.Although I know that I can start from scratch, as long as my spirit is still there, I won't be completely knocked down... How many people can do it without caring?

——Will we also be covered in injuries by then?

——I don't know, so I'm afraid you'll regret it.

At that time, the worries came true, four years of regret fermented, and in the end there was only one sigh left.

"Do you ever regret leaving?"

Wen Youxia's usually steady fingers seemed to be shaking, this shouldn't happen, Qiu Sheng understood his answer.

"I've already regretted enough." Qiu Sheng's throat seemed to be scratched by a piece of metal, "but the most uncomfortable thing for me is that the one who really gave up is Wen Youxia, not me. Let's do it again, we have at least one Personally don't continue to regret it?"

In the narrow carriage, Wen Youxia bowed his head, took a breath, brushed his thumb over the tip of his nose very quickly, and turned his head away, as if he didn't want Qiu Sheng to find out that his breathing rate was abnormal just now.

"But what if I can't cure it, Wen Youxia."

Wen Youxia suddenly stretched out his hand and pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"It's okay." He said close to Qiu Sheng's ear, "It's okay."

Outside is the gradually dimming night sky. Although the moonlight is bright, it is not enough to illuminate the darkness.The tropical sea breeze in Yawan doesn't know the age, it rushes to the skin with a warm touch, and there are scattered stars in the sky.

He had waited so long for this hug that he thought he could hold it back.

Qiu Sheng wailed loudly.

He seemed to want to vent all the endless grievances, sadness, loneliness and patience of these years at once, and it took him a while to stop, the tip of his nose was red and he was out of breath.He wet the thin layer of cloth on Wen Youxia's shoulders, leaving an ugly dark mark.The other party's gaze was serious and profound, Qiu Sheng was ashamed to look at it, and turned his head away.

"Don't look at me."

But Wen Youxia gently wiped his face, those tears were wiped away bit by bit with his fingertips.

While he was doing this, Qiu Sheng touched his wrist, it was empty.The fleeting memories and heavy blood during the performance made Qiu Sheng choke again, and lowered his head.He didn't want to show weakness to Wen Youxia, but now he just wants to cry.

"Look, I didn't keep anything." He stretched out his hand, showing Wen Youxia the old scar there.

"I thought you threw it away."

"No, it broke by itself." Qiu Sheng hugged his knees, sitting in a very closed state, "I have been sad for a long time."

If Wen Youxia said "I'll make you a new one" at this time, Qiu Sheng might feel comforted and relieved.Kewen Youxia lowered her eyes, held his hand, and rubbed his wrist bones again and again.

"You..." Wen Youxia's throat was dry, "Wait for me, okay?"

Qiu Sheng grabbed him with his backhand, lifted him up, and bit Wen Youxia's inner wrist hard, almost bleeding.

The pain was not unbearable at this moment, and in the next second, Qiu Sheng kissed that place again.He asked Wen Youxia to open his fingers and bury his face in his dry palm.

"I won't wait too long." Qiu Sheng said bluntly, "If you miss this time, you will never come in again in your life."

"Okay." Wen Youxia solemnly swore.

In four years, only now Qiu Sheng missed his gift for a second.

In the past, Wen Youxia was not an ingenious person. When he was in love madly and fiercely, writing a song to the other party was considered meaningful, but the only gift was given very casually.

Perhaps because it is easy to come, it is also very light when it is broken.

Qiu Sheng thought, they are now like the broken bass string, with picks and silent bells attached to it, even if they try hard, they may not be able to connect again, so they have to replace it with new ones.

No matter how much the new one looks like the old one, it will never be the same as the old one.

In the past, everything was done with passion, passion, and bone-shattering love, but now it is not possible.The person you meet again is not as blank as when you first met, and the relationship you want to bridge is not as squandered as your first love.

In a sense, this is not the return of the ex who broke up, but more like two people who have changed trying to "love each other again".