Teacher, breathe for me

City A, eight o'clock in the morning.

Qiao Xiu pushed open the door of the ward, and what he saw was his father lying on the hospital bed with his eyes closed. When he heard the door open, he turned to look at him.

Father Qiao looked at him quietly. Qiao Xiu couldn't remember how long it had been since he and his father looked at each other like this. He didn't react for a moment, so he just stood stuck at the door.

"Why don't you come in?" Father Qiao turned his head away, his voice a little weak.

Joshua walked in and closed the door carefully. "I brought some porridge over, let's drink some first."

Father Joe didn't speak.

Qiao Xiu was used to the father and son's way of getting along with each other, so it would be strange if his father took the initiative to answer the conversation.He put the thermos box on the table, took out a bowl, and looked at Father Qiao: "It's not convenient for you now, I'll feed you."

Father Qiao turned his head slightly and looked at him.

Only then did Qiao Xiu suddenly realize that his father had grown a lot of white hair.In his impression, his father had always been a tall and majestic image, and it was this image that made him a little unkind and indifferent.In the company, he will always be vigorous and resolute, even if Qiao Xiu was so angry when he came out, he is still above the top.Now the father who was lying on the hospital bed lost all his sternness, and looked at him like an ordinary father, with fine lines around his eyes and white hair on his head, which made Qiao Xiu feel sore.

He put down the bowl, went to tilt the bed first, then took a bite of the porridge, blew it gently, and brought it to Father Qiao's lips.

Father Qiao took a sip.

Qiao Xiu was feeding in an orderly manner, but his heart was full of thoughts. I am afraid that only his father and son could understand the emotions.

His father has changed. If he came back in the past, his father would basically ignore him. This kind of father-son harmony scene, since Qiao Xiu came out, he never dared to think about it.In fact, it is also because both of their personalities are too stubborn, even if one side bows its head a little, it will not make trouble to this point.

Neither of them spoke, but there was a rare peace.

Qiao Xiu even wondered if he was feeding too fast, why did the bowl of porridge run out all of a sudden? He saw his father still leaning there with his lips slightly parted, thinking that he was not full, so he asked, "Drink more ?”

Father Qiao looked at him and shook his head, "It's tasteless."

Joshua put down the bowl and wiped his mouth with a tissue. "Then don't drink."

The ward where Father Qiao lived was a single ward. Without the porridge, the father and son just lay down and sat in the room, which was eerily quiet.Qiao Xiu looked at the door and asked casually, "Is the nurse here?"

"out."

Joshua could only nod his head, racking his brains for what else to say.

Fortunately, his father may have eaten and drank enough at this time, and finally had the idea to talk, and asked, "Is it on vacation?"

"Let it go."

Father Qiao snorted lightly: "Are you still teaching junior high school now?"

Joshua: "No, I'm going to teach high school instead."

Father Qiao gave him a sideways glance, "That's all."

Qiao Xiu kept his mouth shut. He knew that the profession of teacher was defined by his father's outlook on life as the group of people who were mediocre and unmotivated all his life. He chose this profession, and he was doomed to be mediocre all his life and not achieve much.

Qiao's father changed the subject, but said: "But at least there is no pressure to deal with children."

Qiao Xiu thought for a long time, isn't his father... mocking him?He could only say "huh".

At this moment, the nurse came back, greeted Qiao Xiu with a smile, and gathered around Father Qiao's bed to look at the bottle.

Qiao Xiu had no choice but to get up and walk away.

After standing for a while, he felt that he really had nothing to do here. Just as he was about to tell his father that he should go back first, Father Qiao suddenly said, "Help me turn on the TV."

Qiao Xiu didn't know if he was calling the nurse or him, so he went over and turned on the TV.

Father Qiao: "Sit down and watch with me."

Qiao Xiu's plan to buy a mobile phone fell through again, but he didn't want to spoil his father's interest, so he moved a chair and sat down beside him.

At this point in time, there is nothing to watch. Qiao Xiu thought his father must be watching the news, so he took the remote control to change the channel, but Qiao's father said, "No need to change, just watch this."

Qiao Xiu glanced at the screen, it was "Han Zhu Ge Ge", one of the big names in the winter and summer vacations.

Surely time can change everything?Even his father likes to watch Qiong Yao dramas?

Joshua sat bored and didn't have a mobile phone to play with, so he had to watch TV a few times.

Now we have come to a very exciting scene, that is, Nanny Rong needles Ziwei, and Ziwei is so heart-piercing on the screen, any part of it is an emoji.Qiao Xiu thought, oh my god, this is the end of the show, and they've only been on winter vacation for a while.

Looking at Father Qiao again, his eyes were half-closed and he didn't know if he was watching, and he didn't have the slightest intention to talk to Qiao Xiu. On the contrary, the nurse beside him also sat down and began to watch, looking at him with a smile on his face. vigorously.

Joshua silently turned his gaze back to the TV screen.

City F, eight o'clock in the morning.

Qi Yan woke up and touched his mobile phone, took it over and took a look. When he saw the message from Qiao Xiu, his whole state changed from dazed to sober in an instant.

He read those two sentences three times before he cleared his mind.

He replied to Qiao Xiu: "I'll go to city A to find you." Then he got up happily.

I thought to myself: well, I know, brother Qiao is not such an unreliable person.

Qi Yan went to pack his things first, had breakfast, called the nanny to come and take care of Erha at home, after everything was ready, he shook his legs and waited for the time to go to the train station.

But he never expected that at this point in time, Qi Dongyuan came back like a ghost.

Qi Yan ignored him and continued to watch "Huan Zhu Ge Ge" on TV to pass the time.

As soon as Qi Dongyuan entered, he saw the boxes that Qi Yan had arranged, and asked, "Where are you going?"

"City A." Qi Yan took an apple and started to eat it.

Qi Dongyuan frowned: "What are you going to do in City A?"

"There is something."

"No." Qi Dongyuan said.

Qi Yan raised his eyebrows: "What do you mean?"

Qi Dongyuan replied angrily, "literally."

Qi Yan smiled: "Which show are you acting in? Back then, when the divorce with my mother was the most intense, you gave me a sum of money and ignored me for a month. Now you don't even let me go to City A, you Are you worried about my personal safety?"

Qi Dongyuan took a deep breath, and said with a livid face, "Then tell me the truth, what exactly are you going to City A for?"

Qi Yan stared at Qi Dongyuan for a full minute, then nodded: "It seems that you know, don't you? I'm going to City A to look for my boyfriend."

Qi Dongyuan's expression changed drastically, he stared at Qi Yan speechlessly.

Qi Yan: "Satisfied?"

In the house, except for the theme song of Huan Zhu Ge Ge in the TV series, there is no other sound, and there is no one else.

Qi Dongyuan's voice was trembling, as if he was forcing himself to calm down: "Yanyan, can I not be so angry?"

Qi Yan: "I'm not mad at you."

"Aren't you mad at me for finding a boy to date?!"

Not to be outdone, Qi Yan said, "Then if you find a vixen like Jiang Xuan, are you also angry with me? Or are you angry with my mother?"

Qi Dongyuan was choked by his words, and he said after a long time: "These two things have nothing to do with each other!"

Qi Yan: "Yeah, so does it matter if I find a boyfriend to annoy you?"

Qi Dongyuan: "Then you really like men?"

Qi Yan nodded.

Qi Dongyuan took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa.

Qi Yan watches TV and eats apples.

After a few minutes, Qi Dongyuan said: "I don't know anything about homosexuality. The boss of a company I worked with was gay, and there was a same-sex couple. In my opinion, yes, they are nothing like ordinary couples." different."

Qi Yan looked sideways at him.

Qi Dongyuan continued: "But it's just a look! Do you know that when they walk together, how many people point and point at them behind the scenes? It's just because the boss is always the boss and their boss, so people only dare to stand behind their backs." Speaking of them, what if you were just an ordinary person? How many people would point fingers at you in the open, have you ever thought about it?"

Qi Yan: "Go ahead."

Qi Dongyuan: "Yanyan, I know that you have had a girlfriend before, which means that you can like girls. On the road of liking the same sex, you may just accidentally go wrong. Now there is still time to rein in the precipice, hurry up Get back on track."

Qi Yan: "What is the righteous way, and what is the evil way? Liking is a human instinct, and there is no right or wrong."

Qi Dongyuan: "I'm not playing word games with you, you know what I mean!"

Qi Yan put the apple aside: "Dad, I know it's hard for you to accept it suddenly. I also thought about it before, should I just hide it from you so that you don't know about it."

Qi Dongyuan was also looking at him.

Qi Yan said slowly: "But I still decided to tell you, because I take the fact that I like men seriously, not as a joke, nor did I do it to anger you, I am not the childish Qi in your memory Yan. It is precisely because you are my father and the indispensable person in my life that I don't need to care about other people's opinions, but I hope to get your approval."

Qi Dongyuan's frosty face showed signs of softening.

"You and my mother divorced and chose to live separately. This is the way you choose a new life and choose your own life. And I chose to take this 'evil way' that you think is my choice and my right. In Before this, we all had serious consideration before we made this choice. I know everything you want to express, everything you think you are doing now is for 'for my own good', but no one in this world can replace you Whoever makes the decision, instead of trying to figure it out with your own subjective thinking, it is better to consider this issue from the perspective of the other party.

"But it's not such a difficult question, it's just that I like someone who happens to be the same gender as me. I like him, and he likes me. We love each other, like all couples in the world. We Neither homicide, nor harm to society, why can't they be together?

"Homosexuality is already subject to discrimination and pressure from many aspects of society. You are my father and one of the few relatives in the world. What I hope to get is your approval and support, not the same discrimination and pressure from society. pressure."

Qi Dongyuan was silent for a while after listening.

Qi Yan's palms were already sweating.Of course, he didn't just blurt out this passage. He had already looked up how to come out to his parents before.

However, his coming out this time was also unexpected, and he acted more on the spot, blurting out what he thought in his heart.

He glanced at Qi Dongyuan's expression.

Qi Dongyuan said: "Yanyan, you have really grown up and your thinking has matured."

Qi Yan sat upright without speaking.

After a long pause, Qi Dongyuan said: "I still can't fully understand what you said." He sighed softly, "But I agree with one thing you said, that is, this is the path you choose yourself The way of life you choose, others should not use "for your own good" to carry out moral kidnapping. When I divorced your mother, your grandparents also disagreed. In fact, they still often criticize me because of this. I have A parent who can't understand me, so I hope to be a father who understands you."

Qi Yan's nose suddenly felt a little sore.

"As a father, I feel that I have always owed you. In many ways, I also have self-knowledge, which disgusts you." Qi Dongyuan smiled, "But this time, I hope I can be a good father. Homosexuals Things, people at my age can't accept it, but your dad can't always be left behind. Yanyan." Qi Dongyuan looked at Qi Yan, "So even if it's not acceptable, I want to try to understand you."

Qi Yan stood up, under Qi Dongyuan's stunned expression, Qi Yan bent down and hugged him.

"Thank you, Dad."

The author has something to say: It’s so hard to write about coming out of the closet...