reverse crush

I remember a long time ago, probably at the age of the second and third grades, there was a person called "Boys, to be honest, if you meet a girl you like very much, would you be eager to possess her, or would you be reluctant to touch her?" .

Pei Zhenyan took this question to Lu Zhi when he had nothing to do in his spare time. Lu Jian glanced back and forth between the two answers, and asked instead, "What about you?"

"Then I must be impatient." Pei Zhenyan didn't think about it, "Otherwise, who knows who will be cheaper after cherishing it. I'm in love, and I don't do charity."

"Oh." Lu Zhi actually thinks that these two answers are quite intriguing, and it is difficult to choose at the moment, but after growing up and fighting together for so many years, he and Pei Zhenyan have long been used to mutual harm, so usually he will choose Singing against Pei Zhenyan, "Then I can't bear to touch it."

After a few years, Pei Zhenyan no longer remembers how he commented on Lu Zhi's answer, but there must be nothing good to say.

It's nothing more than hurting others' good, or hurting others' love, or hurting others' dignity.

Of course, there is an element of gagging between good friends? But he really can't understand it from the bottom of his heart.

But now that time has passed, he has become the person that Lu only likes very much, and the protagonist in Lu's problems. He must admit that he does not hate such cherishing.

I even began to understand the mentality of being reluctant to touch each other.

Because he is a bit reluctant to touch Lu Zhi now.

The change surprised him.

He used to be used to being accommodated by Lu Zhi, but since he fell in love with Lu Zhi, he has gradually learned to consider each other.For example, he actually expected that Lu could make a few friends other than him after he only went to college. This was a suggestion that he could never have taken the initiative to mention before.

All along, he has enjoyed the unequal friendship between himself and Lu Zhi selfishly, and he is used to being Lu Zhi's only one.

Thinking back now, when he "competed" with Lu Zhi for Zhong Er, was it really because Zhong Er was robbed that he was so angry?

no.

At least not all of them.

What made him even more worried was that Lu Zhi no longer belonged to him alone.

Based on Pei Zhenyan's understanding of Lu Zhi, this person's answer to the question of "can't wait or can't bear to part with it" will not change easily, so his invitation is more like a flirt between lovers, not serious.

Lu just said, "Okay."

Then they pushed and rolled onto the sofa together.

Ear-hair-side-grinding from intense to soothing, Pei Zhenyan raised his eyes to look at Lu Zhi, suddenly and sensitively aware that the state of prostration seems to have exceeded his expectations.

Kissing, hugging, the physical structure of boys is doomed that they can't withstand teasing and easily misfire, he has become accustomed to these.

But Lu Zhi's eyes were different from usual.

The confusion is filled with unprecedented aggressive intentions.

Simply put, it is very desire.

Desire to win people's eyes and palpitations.

Contrary to Pei Zhenyan, before falling in love with Pei Zhenyan, Lu Zhi had always been a person who was extremely restrained and always thought of Pei Zhenyan, otherwise he would not have endured the two-year strangers alone, but with Pei Zhenyan After Proverbs was together, he became more and more selfish.

His possessiveness towards Pei Zhenyan is growing day by day, it can be said that he is insatiable, and many times he doesn't even care about Pei Zhenyan's sacrifice.

For example, now, he knew it was not the right time, but he was still aroused by the joking invitation, which disturbed his mind and made it difficult to calm down.

"Are you serious?" Pei Zhenyan didn't expect that he would drag Lu Zhi off the altar with just one word.

He obviously noticed that Lu Zhi was not as considerate as before, but he didn't mind that Lu Zhi was a little domineering towards him.

"Yeah." Lu just bowed his head and kissed him, "Is that okay?"

"Is it okay?" As soon as the three words came out, Pei Zhenyan understood it no matter how stupid he was.

The last time he half-jokingly raised the question of attack and subject with Lu Zhi, Lu Zhi's reaction made him aware of it, but this question is still far away from their current relationship, so he didn't delve into it later.

Now the question was before them again.

Pei Zhenyan tentatively confirmed: "Then I shall..."

Before he could finish speaking, Lu just branded another kiss on the corner of his mouth. His tone sounded gentle, but there was no room for negotiation: "No."

"That's out of the question." Pei Zhenyan pushed his shoulder angrily, "Get out of the way, I'm going to the bathroom."

Before that night in Wuzhen, he had no doubts about his identity as a straight man, which also means that he has had a male instinctive and one-sided dominant consciousness in the relationship between the sexes for more than ten years.

He is the giver, not the receiver.

This perception cannot be reversed overnight.

Probably to make up for the toughness in clarifying his position just now, Lu Jian became very talkative again, coaxing: "I'll help you."

Your own hand? And the hand of someone you like? It's completely different.

The temperature of the fingertips ranged from warm to gradually scalding, and everywhere it went was sprinkled with fire. Every insignificant change in strength was enough to cause landslides and tsunamis, pushing people to the edge of losing control.

From the ten fingertips to the Tianling cover, it was all numb.

Pei Zhenyan's eyes were slightly out of focus, sweat and a thin layer of irritated physiological tears made his eyes look moist and soft.

With such eyes, he looked back and forth slowly and stickily between Lu Zhi's eyes and fingers.

Lu Zhi couldn't stand being watched by him, and bent down to kiss him.

At this time, the sound of the door lock being opened suddenly came from the door.

The two stopped at the same time? After all the movements, cold sweat broke out from behind.

Then he hurriedly cleaned himself and the other party during the short time when the visitor at the entrance closed the door and changed shoes.

Half a minute later, Lu Ningshuang walked around the partition wall at the entrance and appeared with a large and small bag.

The two boys should have stood up to greet him, but it was not convenient for anyone to get up. Fortunately, for them, Lu Ningshuang was a mother, and the other was a neighbor and aunt who they knew well, so they didn't have to pay attention to those etiquettes.

Pei Zhenyan put his foot on Lu Zhi's foot to cover up, and tried to keep his voice steady: "Aunt Lu."

Lu Zhi gave Pei Zhenyan a cushion, and also called, "Mom."

Lu Ningshuang looked at the two of them.

This time is not enough for them to completely withdraw from the state of confusion, and there are still some traces on their faces and eyes.

Lu Ningshuang couldn't tell what was strange about the two boys, so she couldn't help but take a second look, but when she looked carefully, there seemed to be nothing wrong.

"Why are you here at this time?" Lu Zhi asked.

Lu Ningshuang's attention was diverted, and after responding to Pei Zhenyan's greeting, she said to Lu Zhi: "Your teacher called me and said that you are not going to study at night and go out for dinner."

Lu just nodded and assured, "Next? Don't make an example."

Lu Ningshuang didn't blame him at all, she raised the bento box in her hand, and showed it to the two of them: "Do you think the school food is not good? I made some food for you, and I will take it to school tomorrow. Don't Skip class and listen to the teacher."

After speaking, she started to work hard putting the things that needed to be refrigerated into the refrigerator.

The guilt and shock of the two people on the sofa cannot be described in words, and they swept over like a wave of horror.

When a person is in a certain environment, his brain and body cool down very quickly. After returning to normal, Lu just went to the kitchen to help. Lu Ningshuang inadvertently noticed the glistening sweat on his forehead, and reached out to help him wipe it away: "What are you doing with the proverb? Well, why are you sweating so much?"

Lu only paused for a moment when opening and closing the refrigerator drawer, and immediately used his brain cells to make up a decent reason: "Playing with the cat."

"Ah? Oh." Lu Ningshuang felt strange. When she first came in, the two boys and the litter of cats were separated by thousands of miles.

It was late, and Lu Ningshuang was about to leave after delivering food to them, but Lu had no choice but to send her downstairs.

When I came up again, there was no sign of Pei Zhenyan in the house, and the five cats were all there, chasing and playing around, but the huge living room seemed deserted for no reason.

Pei Zhenyan left without saying goodbye.

Lu only went to knock on the door opposite.

Pei Zhenyan didn't open the door for him, but only sent him a WeChat message: "I'm sleepy, let me know."

Lu only believed that it was his fault, so he called.

Pei Zhenyan answered with a muffled voice, and finally showed his cards: "It's gone tonight, I feel guilty."

After a moment of silence, Lu just said, "It's my sin, not yours."

He was the one who was sorry for Lu Ningshuang, and he didn't want Pei Zhenyan to bear the psychological burden.

"I also have my sins." Pei Zhenyan said.

He also has a mother, a family.

Although not as meticulous as Lu Jian's mother, he also carries the deep love and expectations of his family.

That day, Pei Zhenyan didn't open the door for Lu Zhi at the end, but the next morning, the two of them went to school together, and neither of them could see any signs of unhappiness from last night.

Like a bird falling into the forest, a needle falling into the sea, there is no trace to be found.

On June 6th, the final exam of the second year of high school came to an end.

For other classes, this is a farewell. No matter what the atmosphere in the class is like in normal times, they have been together day and night for a year, and it is difficult to reunite after being separated for the first time.

Classes [-] and [-] didn't have any concerns about this at all, they only cared about immersing themselves in the joy of the summer vacation, cheering constantly, making the other classes envious.

But it’s summer vacation, it’s only half a month, and the remaining one and a half months, as a quasi-senior senior, I’m not eligible to enjoy it, and I have to go back to school in advance to make up lessons.

During this short half-month summer vacation, something big or small happened in the Tang family.

Pei Zhenyan's uncle, who is also Tang Ning's own father, found out about Tang Ning and snake.

Her uncle expressly forbade Tang Ning to seek a relationship with a male teacher. Tang Ning committed the crime knowingly and resolutely. The family moved out.

The uncle was so angry that he couldn't do anything with his adult daughter, so he had no choice but to let Tang Wanyue teach Tang Ning a political lesson. Who would have thought that Tang Wanyue would support Tang Ning in pursuing true love.This is something that Pei Zhenyan didn't expect. He also thought that his mother would be more snobbish and value the man's family conditions, and used his own failed marriage as a past experience to Tang Ning. The result? She actually came up with a love first.

Tang Wanyue said this: "It's not easy to meet someone you like in a lifetime. No matter how suitable it is now, it may not be suitable in the future, so why think so much, live in the present? Just be happy now. Besides, life is your own Yes, when parents interfere so much, can they be responsible for the children?"

His mother's enlightenment made Pei Zhenyan feel hopeful, and he pretended to ask casually, "Then can I live the life I want in the future?"

"For example?" Tang Wanyue kept an eye out and didn't agree.

Pei Zhenyan thought about it for a while, and changed to a more euphemistic way of saying: "If you don't get married, you won't have children?"

"Scared me to death." Tang Wanyue turned her head to look at him, rubbed her chest and said with relief, "Of course, but this must be the result of serious consideration by the two of you, not because you unilaterally don't want to be responsible, then no If you live your own life, you are called a scumbag."

Pei Zhenyan's eyes lit up, as if he had received great comfort, he had some insight in his heart, but he didn't dare to dig too deep, and then changed the subject: "Why are you scared to death?"

Tang Wanyue said: "That's too much. Although your mother and I are open-minded, some things are still unacceptable. You have to have a limit. For example, if you want to change your gender, for example, if you find a woman who is older than me, Or tell me you like men."

Or tell me you like men.

Pei Zhenyan's hope for a new life has come to naught.

In the final analysis, the bird that fell into the forest and the needle that fell into the sea still exist, and they will not really disappear if they cannot be found.