Baishou loses Shaohua

Yun Xin sat under the lamp holding a book, but he didn't turn a page for a long time.The glutinous rice balls seemed to sense that the owner was depressed, and spit out letters from time to time to lick Yun Xin's palm.Yun Xin simply put down the book, picked up the half-cold tea in hand and fed it to the glutinous rice balls.

"Dong dong." There was a knock on the door.Yun Xin got up to open the door, he knew that Ye Nanqing must be outside the door.

"Osmanthus cake, just right for supper." Ye Nanqing came in with a plate of sweet-scented osmanthus cake and put it on the table, then picked up a piece and handed it to Yun Xin, "Try it first, do you still like it?"

Yun Xin took a bite, the taste was delicate, sweet and delicious, he nodded: "It's really good, thanks to Ju Tao and Gui Bao."

"You'll be happy if you like them." Ye Nanqing smiled, and then advised, "Don't eat too much, your stomach will feel uncomfortable, go to rest early."

"Nanqing." Yun Xin stopped Ye Nanqing who turned around and was about to leave.

"What's wrong?" Ye Nanqing turned around and asked.

Yun Xin broke the remaining half of the sweet-scented osmanthus cake into small pieces and put them in the lid of the tea bowl.

"I think... I've been bothering you for a long time, and it's time to go back to Qianyu Tower." Yun Xin hesitated to speak.

Ye Nanqing was taken aback.He was silent for a while, and then asked, "Is there something wrong with me?"

Yun Xin shook his head: "No."

"Then...why?" Ye Nanqing sensed that something was wrong with Yun Xin's mood during dinner, but what he was thinking about at the time was the reply letter after dinner, so naturally he didn't think too much about it, but he didn't expect Yun Xin to ask for it suddenly. leave.

"Nan Qing, who do you love?" Yun Xin asked back.

"Of course it's you." Ye Nanqing said naturally, he didn't know why Yun Xin would ask such a question.

Yun Xin nodded: "It's me you love." Then she shook her head, "But it's not me now."

"Yun Xin..." Ye Nanqing frowned, he didn't understand Yun Xin's meaning.

Yun Xin didn't give Ye Nanqing a chance to speak: "What you love is a complete Yao Yunxin, a Yao Yunxin who knows everything about the past between the two of you."

He shook his head in frustration: "But I'm not."

"Nanqing, when you look at me, who are you looking at? Can you tell the difference?"

Ye Nanqing looked into Yun Xin's clear eyes, he could clearly see the suppressed pain and exhaustion in them.He suddenly felt that he was an asshole. He had always thought that the tired and painful person was only himself. He thought that Yun Xin, who had forgotten everything, could be happy, but he ignored it. Even if he lost his memory, it did not mean that he lost his perception. .

"Nanqing...do you love me? It's just me, not Yao Yunxin from the past." Yunxin asked weakly.

"I..." Ye Nanqing hesitated, he didn't know, he didn't know if he would still love this person in front of him without those so-called pasts.

Yun Xin saw the evasion and dodge in Ye Nanqing's eyes, he smiled, so lonely and lonely, as if all hopes were shattered at this moment, he pierced the illusion of happiness with his own hands, and suddenly felt very pitiful.Because even though he forgot everything, he still fell in love with Ye Nanqing, a Ye Nanqing who loved him in the past.That feeling... It was as if there was an invisible wall separating the two people. He could see him, but he would never be able to touch him.

"Nan Qing, don't blame me for your guilt towards him, I don't need it." Yun Xin continued, "I don't know what happened between the two of you, and I don't know what happened between the two of you. Is it love or hate. Maybe Yao Yunxin in the past hated you, but I don’t hate you. Maybe Yao Yunxin in the past would hand you a cup of diaper, but I won’t. Maybe Yao Yunxin in the past wanted you to die, but I... want you to live .”

"Nan Qing, I want you to live." Yun Xin was very sad, his heart was unbearable, and he wanted to find an outlet for his emotions that had been suppressed all night, but...he had lost the ability to cry.It turns out that this is called wanting to cry without tears.

Ye Nanqing suddenly stepped forward and pushed Yun Xin into her arms, holding him tightly. He was afraid of the despair and desolation in his eyes,

"Don't be sad..." Yun Xin smiled faintly in his arms, he couldn't cry, so he could only laugh, "It won't be long before Lu Ying should come back, he is back, your Yun Xin should also come back .”

Ye Nanqing's heart seemed to be tightly clenched, and he tightened his stranglehold on Yun Xin, so that Yun Xin felt that his bones were about to be strangled to pieces.But he didn't want to struggle, and he didn't want to struggle. He didn't know when such a hug would last. When he remembered everything, what would be between him and him?

"You said I didn't love you...but why, seeing you sad now, my heart hurts so much." Ye Nanqing choked up and said, tears running down his cheeks, slipping silently into Yun Xin's neckline, The hot Yun Xin shivered.

The tears seemed to flow for him.

"Yun Xin...don't look down on yourself like this, how can I feel guilty about you."

"I love you in the past, but that doesn't mean I don't love you in the present." Ye Nanqing paused, and then said, "My guilt is because I didn't believe in you, and I treat you well because I I don't want to give myself another chance to feel guilty, I don't want to hurt you again, hurt you now."

Yun Xin was stunned. He always thought that Ye Nanqing's kindness to him was just compensation for the past, because Ye Nanqing always looked into his eyes with regret, always with a cautious look, which made him feel sore all the time. sad.He never thought that the reason why Ye Nanqing treated him like this was not because of the past, but because he didn't want to repeat the past again.

Yun Xin slowly raised his arm, and slowly wrapped it around Ye Nanqing's waist. Ye Nanqing hugged him too tightly, and every breath he took was exhausting, but it was just like this that he could feel that he was really love yourself.

"Yun Xin, do you know? I would rather you never remember it. I know it might be cruel to you, but I really hope that you will forget the past forever, so that we will have a chance to start again. That way, you can really not hate me."

Yun Xin didn't know why Ye Nanqing was so sure that he would hate him if he recovered his memory, but he was also sure that there must be some reason that he was destined not to accept.He didn't dare to think or ask, he was afraid that the truth would be too cruel, he was afraid...he would really hate him.

He struggled, in front of memory, in front of the truth.If he can't remember, will he have a future with Ye Nanqing?As long as he can't remember, can he put everything aside and only look at Ye Nanqing?Wouldn't it be too selfish to do so?

Ji Yinghan's face flashed before Yun Xin's eyes, and he suddenly remembered that Ji Yinghan told him everything but never told him about his past relationship with Ye Nanqing. Why?

There must be his reasons, Yun Xin closed his eyes and thought.

Since neither Ji Yinghan nor Ye Nanqing wanted him to remember, then... wouldn't it be better to forget?

"Then I don't want to get up." Yun Xin made up his mind.

Even if it's just an illusion of happiness, he doesn't want real pain.Just let him deceive himself, so what, just let him be selfish once, he just wants this person in front of him, he just wants a little bit of selfish happiness and stability, what does it matter?

As Yun Xin thought about it, the corners of his mouth gradually curled up: "Let's start over."

Ye Nanqing slowly relaxed his arms, and he lowered his head to look at Yun Xin's eyes, the corners of his eyes were filled with firmness.No matter what kind of expression this face has, it will make his heart move, and no matter how long it has been between these eyes, it will make his heart ache.

Distressed, this is how he felt when he first met Yun Xin four years ago.

Those faint sorrows hidden under the cheers, those shallow sorrows hidden in the smiles.

Even after four years, that picture is still as clear as ever in his mind.

At this moment, Yun Xin's face overlapped with that of four years ago, in a daze, these four years are not over yet, as if nothing had happened.

"Okay, let's start over."