Just be your own driver

Li Shaoyan remembered that when he was in the special police team, he would also take care of others at that time. Every time he assigned tasks, he was careful, because those were his cherished brothers.Later, something happened to him. Although some people secretly complained for him, most people still alienated him. When he was lying on the hospital bed, he was an isolated island. The sarcastic remarks around him eroded his heart and made him unable to breathe.But he still climbed up from the sea and came to the traffic police team wearing a cynical and careless armor.

What about Anxing?He lingers in the atmosphere of pleasing and helping others. He has been taught since he was a child that he would rather be wronged by himself than ask others to do everything right.Taohuaping is his root, and other people's evaluation and vision are his nourishment.He couldn't even try to say no to people, he couldn't even ignore people's opinions.He pointed the blade inward, but he didn't dare to take out his sincerity, so he could only stab wounds all over his body.

Thinking of An Xing's grievance, Li Shaoyan sighed.

"Young Master Li, did you quarrel with Teacher An?" the boss asked.

"Not really. It's just that I gave him a lesson." Li Shaoyan drank the water, "Call me a driver, I want to go home."

"I'm not even as good as those irrelevant people." These words pierced An Xing's chest over and over again, piercing his heartache, and piercing his tears without knowing it.

He didn't know how he took Li Shaoyan back home with the new year's goods he had given him, forgot how to answer his mother's question why Xiaoli didn't have dinner together, and forgot how Xiaoke cried and wiped his tears and asked him what was wrong.He is now lying flat on the bed, tears streaming into his ears, wet, only to hear Li Shaoyan say again and again, "I am not even as good as those irrelevant people."

He hated himself for being cowardly, hating himself for not being brave enough, hating himself for being caught up in irrelevant people and affairs, and he didn't even dare to embrace his lover who was close at hand.

"Dad! Did you quarrel with Uncle Xiaoyan?" An Xiaoke walked in, lying obediently on one side to wipe An Xing's tears.

"It's my father's fault." An Xing choked up and said, "My father pushed him away in front of others, as if he had nothing to do with me."

"Is he angry?"

An Xing nodded, took An Xiaoke's tissue and wiped away his tears.

"Dad, do you still remember that when I was in kindergarten, I lied to other children about my mother?" An Xiaoke asked.

At that time, An Xiaoke was in middle school, and the kindergarten held a Mother's Day event. At that time, all the children in the class were with their mothers, and An Xiaoke's grandma accompanied her.The children said that Xiao Ke didn't have a mother, and Xiao Ke said that I had a mother, and my mother couldn't take care of work, so she would pick me up tomorrow.

Xiao Ke returned home and asked Anxing to find an aunt to pretend to be her mother to pick her up once.

"Dad, do you still remember what you said?" Xiao Ke said, "You said that letting others know the true self is the respect for others. It is shameful not to have a mother. You grew up under the care of your father and grandma. , is still the best child in the entire kindergarten."

An Xing stretched out his arms, and Xiao Ke walked over, "You told me to be myself since I was a child, and don't care about gossip. You said that our family has always lived in other people's mouths. When grandpa had an accident, our family was orphans and widows in other people's mouths. Poor People. When I grow up, you tell me that our family is unique and different from other families. Don’t worry. When I go to school, many people will introduce you to my aunt. If you don’t go, others will say I It's the oil bottle, you told me that it's because of you that you don't like women. Dad, you make me confident and brave all the time, why don't you?"

An Xing kissed Xiao Ke's forehead, "It's a big girl, it's time to reason with Dad."

"You always let me live on my own and look like An Xiaoke. Dad, I also hope you treat yourself better." Xiaoke said, "I don't want you to help them repair this and that when you are clearly sick. , I don’t want them to ask you for help when they move. The last time Aunt Liu moved, she asked you to move such a heavy box. When you came back, your arm hurt for several days. They can spend money to find someone else. Why do they ask you? You don’t owe Theirs." While talking, Xiao Ke began to cry, tears fell like spring rain, falling on An Xing's body and hurting him.

"Father, do you know why I like Uncle Yan?" Xiao Ke sobbed.

"Because he treats you well."

"No, he is the one who treats you nicely. You used to fake smiles outside, and you smiled cutely when you were with uncle." Xiao Ke said: "And uncle never asked you to help him, he still wants to help you, he Promise me to cure your illness, and you will send me to school and take me out to play in the future. How kind he is to you. "

An Xing's eye circles were red again.

That night, An Xing tossed and turned, his mind was full of Li Shaoyan.Laughing and cursing, being gentle and considerate, having sex in bed, love between fish and water is lingering in my heart, I am full of joy in love and have no time to think about it, but when I had a quarrel yesterday, all the past came up, it was so beautiful, so beautiful that An Xing didn’t want to Let him be only a memory.

Before dawn, An Xing fell into a shallow sleep. Li Shaoyan still didn't let him go, entangled with him in his dream, and there were many people in his dream. They were talking to him, but they couldn't see their faces clearly, they could only see their faces. Li Shaoyan, he heard the voice in his dream: You are the most important person to me, no one else is important.

The school was already on holiday, so An Xing's mother didn't come over to arrange for them to eat.When An Xing woke up, he smelled instant noodles, and Xiao Ke was cooking noodles in the kitchen.She always disliked that the noodles cooked by An Xing were unpalatable, so she had to do it herself.

Seeing that An Xing got up, Xiao Ke turned off the fire, "Dad, eat."

An Xing propped his head up to wash up. After Xiao Ke put the dishes and chopsticks away, the two of them just sat down at the table when they heard Xiao Ke clear his throat, "Dad, you always give in to what other people call..." Xiao Ke peeked at Glancing at the phone on the chair, "It's called a flattering personality." Then he continued, "You have to be confident first!"

"What is there to be confident about, Dad? I have never been out of Taohuaping, I have never left Taojiang, I can't travel thousands of miles, and I haven't read thousands of books."

"Wrong!" Xiao Ke swallowed the noodles, "First of all, you are handsome! Dad, every time you go to hold a parent-teacher meeting for me, other people's parents are willing to see you. I have heard people say several times: An Xiaoke Dad is so handsome. And do you know that my Uncle Xiaoyan is the male god of our school?"

"Really?" An Xing was curious.

"When he was teaching us traffic class, the girls in the senior grades were fascinated by him. The person Uncle Yan likes must be very handsome. So, Dad, you don't have to choose your appearance."

An Xing smiled. There are many people who say he is handsome since he was a child. When he was in school, he never stopped giving love letters and gifts, but he always felt that they were compliments from others, and he never took them seriously.Besides, no man is willing to admit that he relies on his face for food.

"Second, you're still smart!" Xiao Ke said seriously, "Taojiang University, 985, you graduated from the top ten computer science department in the country, and you are still a graduate student. Isn't that amazing? You have both talents and looks, Comrade An Xing."

An Xing was amused by Xiao Ke, "Where did you learn this?"

Xiao Ke hurriedly put the phone behind her, "Don't worry about where I learned it from, just tell me if I'm right."

"Yes! But Dad can't get better in a day, it might be a long process." An Xing said.

"I know. So let's start with small things first. You have to say to yourself in the mirror every day: I am the best, my existence..." Xiao Ke swiped down his phone and said according to the script: "What do I do? Everything must first meet my own needs, and my value is not given by others.”

"Dad," Xiao Ke said seriously, "can you be brave once? For me, grandma and Uncle Yan, bravely put your emotions at the forefront, and put the people you value most at the forefront."

An Xing nodded solemnly.

For the first time, Li Shaoyan did not take the initiative to contact An Xing. He could bear everything else, but this was the only one he couldn't bear.Because he came out of the closet, his family members were afraid of hurting themselves, so they decisively abandoned him.He didn't want An Xing to do this.He did nothing wrong, why should he live so carelessly and uselessly.

What if Ann can't take this step?Li Shaoyan didn't dare to think, he didn't turn back when he opened the bow, if his position in An Xing's heart was very important, would An Xing take a small step first?

As long as you take a small step, the rest of the steps will be completed by me.

An Xing really took the first step. When Li Shaoyan received An Xing's call, he was still very excited. He just tried his best to suppress himself and not let his voice betray him.

"Speak less, tomorrow is the 29th day of the twelfth lunar month. I think...I want to take you out for dinner and meet friends." An Xing's voice was very haggard and cautious, as if he was talking to Bubbles, and the breath was bigger than Bubbles It broke.

"I don't have time on the 29th of the twelfth lunar month. I have something to do." Li Shaoyan said pretending to be calm.

"Oh!" An Xing's voice was very disappointed, "Then... let's talk about it later."

"I'll rest at thirty, let's make an appointment at thirty?" Li Shaoyan was afraid that An Xing would really not make an appointment with him, so he immediately offered an olive branch.

"Okay!" An Xing seemed to cheer up.

After hanging up the phone, Li Shaoyan let out a long breath. He suddenly remembered the first time he asked An Xing out for dinner.It's just that I was the one who was cautious and afraid that the other party would reject me.

But he was surprised. He thought An Xing would apologize, but he didn't say anything.

"Young Master Li! What is this acting?" Liu Wei was amazed when he saw Li Shaoyan's change of face on the phone just now.

Li Shaoyan pushed him, without explaining.Rejecting An Xing was really not playing hard to get, it was really something, because on the 29th of the twelfth lunar month, he was going to have a dinner date with Liu Wei and his group of colleagues.

Jinxiu Jiangnan is a well-known chain restaurant in Taojiang City. It has good food, good environment, and reasonable prices. If you want to eat at the meal time, you will almost always have to wait for a seat.An Xing brought Li Shaoyan here a few times, and Li Shaoyan liked the taste here, so Liu Wei suggested a party, and he recommended it.

However, after the recommendation, Li Shaoyan didn't care about the follow-up.It wasn't until seven o'clock in the evening on the 29th day of the twelfth lunar month that a group of people went there to find that there were no tables left. Liu Wei forgot to make a reservation...but they were in line four, but it was difficult to wait for the big table number four.

"Tell me about you, can you do something reliable." Li Shaoyan scolded Liu Wei.

Liu Wei scratched his head and looked around the lobby and private rooms, feeling that there were not many tables to be finished.Sweeping to the corner, his eyes lit up, "Hey, isn't that Teacher An?"